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nevergiveup neversurrender

psychological effects of acne... debunked

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all guys should read what im about to say here (every part of it, because im sure my paragraphs aren't organized too well:):

ok, i used to have extremely severe acne throughout my last 2 years of high school and it started looking more 'normal' as i was going into college, but still what i considered would be quite unattractive.

keeping in mind that this is a TEMPORARY PROBLEM, and you're probably not going to have acne 3 years from now (because by then i'm sure you'll have gone on accutane or figured out a solution), i have some advice for you:

your face may be ugly to look at*. other people will see this. but if you are a guy, you are very fucking lucky. the MAJORITY of girls are not superficial and can get turned on a lot more by your personality than your appearance. this i know for a fact and im not lying to you. Just because YOU cant imagine dating a girl with x amount of acne, doesnt mean that x can't be a LOT greater for the girl perspective. UNFORTUNATELY for you, they are often attracted to confidence. how can you be confident with a face that you think looks like a pizza? you have to adopt a MORE REALISTIC ATTITUDE. accept that, for now, you're going through an awkward youthful phase that most people go through, and yes, your face is ugly*, but you are not on the inside. you need a drug stronger than accutane to give you the self-confidence you need to accept the fact that people judge you for who you are as a person, but that drug has no side-effects and you can prescribe it for yourself.

a cute girl liked me, and basically begged me to ask her out, and we went out for months during high school when i still had moderately severe acne (i use the term correctly but conservatively: i want very much to say severe, but it was not completely disfiguring). and do you want to know why? i have a kick-ass personality. why was i able to have a kick-ass personality in high school with acne? first off, i didn't know i had it that bad before i got my glasses (lmfao), so i wasnt gradually desensitized to reality like you guys. i saw myself like other people did. also, i was way too distracted by academics to care about it. instead of obsessing over my acne, i obsessed over grades and invested in my future. now here i am, very successful in college and my acne is almost over. so, if you let girls be distracted by your awesome personalities, there is plenty of hope for you during this awkward phase. also keep in mind you can be rejected 999 times and accepted only once (not saying at all that this is the case), but screw the 999 times because its only the 1 time that ended up mattering.

for those of you with severe severe acne, again keep in mind this is not who you are, this is a temporary phase. i am not going to lie to you, dating may not be a possibility for you at this point in your life. but this doesn't mean you have to get depressed. focus on other pursuits (academics, sports, hobbies, whatever your other passions are). develop close friends that know who you are beneath that layer of acne and who you feel comfortable around. in one sense, you are lucky because your acne gave you this opportunity to see who your true friends are, and then when your acne says bye-bye (i never ever thought it could happen to me, but it practically has now) you'll be left with the cream of the crop friends and a stronger, more confident attitude.

*i use the term ugly as a guy. if you take a really hot girl and shove loads of acne on her face, you'd still bang her. my research has shown that the same principle applies for us. despite acne, we can still look masculine, even our faces, which is attractive despite the abundance of red markings on our faces. even if think you've got nothing going for you beneath the acne, you're still a dude, which means you have a baseline of attractivity to girls.

girls are one thing, people in general is another. no matter HOW severe your acne is, NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER think for a SECOND that you dont deserve people's time because what your face looks like. you can go anyplace you want (no matter what the goddamn lighting is like), talk to whoever you want, introduce yourself to whoever, RUN FOR ANY POSITION (i had 2 big leadership positiosn in high school despite my cystic acne), DO ANYTHING ANYONE ELSE DOES. EVERYONE KNOWS YOU HAVE THIS RIGHT. YES, this applies to you also. I don't care if you have severe severe severe severe DISFIGURING acne. we live in an age where people judge one another "not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." some people hide away because of their acne, and they are being weak, retarded, and indubitably wrong. i mentioned above for people with 'severe severe' acne to work on developing close friends who they feel comfortable with. in order to make friends, you have to get to know people!! dont be embarassed... if you think someone has to be embarrassd let them be embarrassed! seriously, stop caring about what the select few who you think will have negative view of you think because they dont matter, and your probably wrong about them holding those views.

lastly, people sympathize with your situation. if you think you're ugly*, people don't look at you and judge you for it. maybe they struggled with acne themselves, or know a friend who did also, and know what you're going through. they can certainly THINK they can imagine what its like to have acne. the truth is, they cant imagine nearly how bad it is. why? because 93% of how bad it is is HOW BAD YOU MAKE IT, and they cant see how those markings on your face should make you depressed. thats because it shouldnt!! remember, YOU obsess over your face, not them. they most definitely care about how smart or nice you are as a person. you have to show them this by forgetting about your face, as they will.

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Glad to hear you are doing great :) but for me (and others too I assume) it's not so much about what OTHER people think about me, its about the way I look at MYSELF - Which in turn makes me avoid other people...

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Glad to hear you are doing great :) but for me (and others too I assume) it's not so much about what OTHER people think about me, its about the way I look at MYSELF - Which in turn makes me avoid other people...
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Glad to hear you are doing great :) but for me (and others too I assume) it's not so much about what OTHER people think about me, its about the way I look at MYSELF - Which in turn makes me avoid other people...

Yep.

And most of that simply is not true. People find severe acne very unattractive, and even people with acne do. And no, most guys would not "bang" a girl with severe acne.

Its true that it helps to get involved in other activities but for a lot of people that is a very daunting task.

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keeping in mind that this is a TEMPORARY PROBLEM, and you're probably not going to have acne 3 years from now

I remember thinking that when I was 17, now I'm 29.

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ya i thought it was temporary problem once too.. but then 7 years passed by and my outlook on things changed a bit.

I'm on my 2ND course of accutane. I can see where ur coming from and in some ways it was motivating the way you write.

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well written man... dude i still have a lot of scarring but seriously since i have been off accutane - probably aleast 5 months now - i probably rarely think about it ( i mean occasionally im like fuck the scars are still bad but dude w/e). i know its hard but u got to just accept your appearance and make the best of it. this past year, I made some new friends and I have realized that my appearance is not what draws people toward mes but my personality. be confident, keep your head up, smile, and be friendly. people will see thru your skin and will actually see who you are. but its up to you to make that happen.

Edited by ToanWLOHA
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I agree with alot of your post. If you have a good attitude people are still going to like you, your still going to have fun. The problem is alot of people with really bad acne don't stay positive about things like you did. Many on this site have dealt with ance for 10, 20, or even 30 years. Acne takes away peoples self confidence more than anything else I can think of, resulting in them being less active/outgoing socially.

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