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How to ask parent/s to go on accutane?

So, I guess my question is...for those of you who have been on accutane, how did you ask or convince parents to allow you to take such a harsh drug? pleaseee share ur experiences...so I can try to figure out how to go about this. can skip background info to bottom. thanks in advance for people who respond

some background info.

I have mentioned it to my mom already once before...and she just simply said "I can't let you go on that, it could cause infertility"....now that I have done the research I've found that for females, infertility is rare.. and for me it is worth the risk. I'll also note my older brother has already had a course of accutane and living life now..

I'll just mention also...My acne seems to just be getting worse. I've tried proactive, acne free, acne free severe, many clearasil products, taking sugar out of my diet along with other things that are said to contribute to acne, and many other things like apple cider vinegar, taken orally and applied directly. I'm sure many people have been where I'm at. And I would like to avoid taking birth control pills as a cure to acne...as I've researched it is only a temporary cure which makes acne worse usually after. not to mention it messes with hormones and all that stuff.

I know accutane's side affects, I've done my research...trust me. I think that the side affects are worth it for me...as I have just hit a point where all I think about is my horrible skin.

right now... each day I'm taking vit B5 (about 2 grams a day), a multivitamin, 3grams cod liver oil, apple cider vinegar tablets, zinc, vit A, vit b complex, vit e. that is a heck of a lot of vitamins if you know what I mean.... which I am getting really fed up with taking considering my skin still isn't clearing.

although this has helped....it seems whenever I stick with something that works, my skin adjusts and then just stops working.

Now, from before taking all these pills, I have a bunch of red patches literally covering my intire face. (from cystic acne which I still get. although not as much...I think the cod liver oil/B5 helped that a little). Plus I have some major indents which I'm sure are going to be scars..

And I still have blackheads all over my nose, chin. plus it seems I cannot get rid of whiteheads that are small, but almost everywhere on my face. After trying all these topicals like BP, etc my face is just a horrid red blotchy mess. thank god for makeup.

I'de really appreciate replies on how to convince my mom to take me to a dermatologist to talk about accutane. I'm just stuck and don't know how to go about it. If I ask again and she still refuses i have no idea what I will do..

Edited by fml-

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my parents were hesitant too because of side effects and mostly that its a government regulated drug. they've seen me struggle, cry, and waste my life over my face. I simply said, this is the best out there I've done lots of research. I need it, acne its ruining my life and so on. The baby thing is so overdramatic. Tell them it doesnt imply to you cause youre not having sex or explain to them you take a quiz on safe sex eery month, get tested eery month, and are required to use 2 forms of contraceptive. youll be less likely to have a kid or get an std on the meds thn if you were off it lol. show them before and after pictures on this site, and if they care about you and see how badly you want it I think they'll come through. hope this works. parents dont want their kids to suffer, and if you get through to them that this drug works and the good outweighs the bad so much, they will understand. just ask her for the chance of getting an appointment. my mom said my ance was very mild and after a visit the derm explained it was worse than she thought. best of luck.

melanie

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my parents were hesitant too because of side effects and mostly that its a government regulated drug. they've seen me struggle, cry, and waste my life over my face. I simply said, this is the best out there I've done lots of research. I need it, acne its ruining my life and so on. The baby thing is so overdramatic. Tell them it doesnt imply to you cause youre not having sex or explain to them you take a quiz on safe sex eery month, get tested eery month, and are required to use 2 forms of contraceptive. youll be less likely to have a kid or get an std on the meds thn if you were off it lol. show them before and after pictures on this site, and if they care about you and see how badly you want it I think they'll come through. hope this works. parents dont want their kids to suffer, and if you get through to them that this drug works and the good outweighs the bad so much, they will understand. just ask her for the chance of getting an appointment. my mom said my ance was very mild and after a visit the derm explained it was worse than she thought. best of luck.

melanie

yeah, I think my mom thinks that accutane causes some people to be unable to have kids in the future. But I have read up on it...and that usually only occurs in males. and even then, it is still rare.

You're situation sounds similar to mine...my mom tells me my face isn't as bad anymore...but it is only because I spend the majority of my time counting pills and applying things to it...which I think just made things worse. (red and scarring). thanks so much for the reply, I think I just need to find a way to get to a derm...and after that I'm sure I'll be given the go for accutane. I hope at least.

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The short answer is:

I DIDNT TELL THEM!

but at the time i wasnt living at home so i guess it was a little easier :)

take her to your derm. people trust advice from medical professionals (i work in healthcare :))

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Yeah honestly just set up an appointment for your dermatologist. I think you're jumping to conclusions to want to take accutane before you tried other prescription strength topical medication. But just get your mom to agree to go to the dermatologist. Don't even mention accutane to her. The dermatologist would be able to get a better insight on what kind of medication you work best on.

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I'm sorry to hear that they won't allow you to try Accutane. Sometimes they just don't understand what it is like to be young and realize one day that your acne is no longer a "phase" and there really is a problem that needs more attention that OTC products :doh:

I agree with a couple others that you should first try to convince her about seeing a dermatoligist - they can work with you on alternatives and give you advice on what you can do. My mother wouldn't allow me for about six years because she was convinced it was a phase. As soon as I got my own insurance about three months ago, I found and made an appointment with a dermatoligist as soon as possible.

The best advice I could give you would be to sit her down and talk to her. Acne is being researched and many medical professionals are deiscovering that acne is not only harmful physically, but psychologically. Explain to her how your acne makes you feel and that you really feel it is your time to see a specialist and stop wasting your money on OTC products and vitamins.

I'm not so sure how old you are, but if you are eighteen and have insurance, a way of transportation and jbo to cover copays, there is nothing she can do about you going. This is probably really bad advice but unless she has acne herself (especially painful cysts) then she will never understand how it is.

The best thing to do is to first try reasoning with her to just allow to to make an appointment to the derma. There are other things that he/she can give you to help out with your acne

Good luck - and I hope I could help you somewhat.

KEEP US UPDATED! ;)

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My mom was so upset with me when I told her I waned to get on accutane. basically I flipped out on the phone with her and starting crying and then she realized how important this was for me.

Some key things that are important to know on accutane:

The side effects are NOT what they say they will be for the majority of people. Most of us just have dry lips, dry eyes, dry inside of nose, all of those are easily treated!My derma has me on Dr. Theo's Omega-3 fish oil softgels to help with the dryness and since I started taking them it's been helping. A big thing that I think you should think about is the longer you wait to get on accutane the more scarring you will have and make your mom realize this. I decided I wanted to go on accutane in July, but I couldn't start until November 1st because it takes nearly two months to get the medicine AFTER you get that first "discussion" appointment out of the way and wait for two negative blood tests. If you are seriously considering it, get on the wagon EARLY, I wish I would have because now I'm dealing with seriously scarring and red marks that could of been avoided had I started accutane earlier.

I have an such a boost in self esteem, make-up just goes on better and it's SO much easier to cover up scars from acne than active acne...SO SO SO much easier, my life is better and yours WILL be to if you give it a try. Your doctors take blood tests every month to make sure you are healthy enough to continue the drug so there is no need to worry.

The whole fertility thing, I know PLENTLY of people I have met on acne.org or just know that went on accutane, men and woman, and now have children without defects. It's only a fertility concern while you are on the drug and two months after taking the drug.

Another comforting thing is that the drug has been around for a few decades. I have three uncles that went on accutane while they were in college and they are now in their high 40's with no long-term side effects. It would have been taken of the market because seriously long-term side effects would have been detected at this point.

I wish you the best of luck with trying to achieve clear skin. Accutane is the only thing that has helped me, so if it worked for me it will work for you because my skin was as stubborn as it gets! best of luck!! :)

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yeah theres no need to go from over-the-counter products straight to accutane.

try a retinoid or topical antibiotic, and if its really as bad as you say it is, go for an oral antibiotic.

accutane really is a last resort. my cousin was on it and it was not worth the side effects for him

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yeah, I think my mom thinks that accutane causes some people to be unable to have kids in the future. But I have read up on it...and that usually only occurs in males. and even then, it is still rare.

We know this isn't true 100%, but if it were, you were not put on this planet to give your mother grandchildren. I'm hoping that is not her only concern. Accutane is a very serious drug and there's usually a process (i.e. antibiotics and topicals) before being prescribed because like others have mentioned, it is a last resort. It's a serious drug. Some folks like to play it up or play it down. That doesn't change the fact that it can have serious side effects...or none at all.

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Yeah honestly just set up an appointment for your dermatologist. I think you're jumping to conclusions to want to take accutane before you tried other prescription strength topical medication. But just get your mom to agree to go to the dermatologist. Don't even mention accutane to her. The dermatologist would be able to get a better insight on what kind of medication you work best on.

Yeah, that seems to be the first step. I don't even have a derm. I've never been to one at least. Which I don't understand considering I've had my eyes/face swell up from cystic acne near my eyes. and I am aware people might think I'm jumping to conclusions, I'm willing to give other things a chance. but I just don't want to have to be taking/ doing things to my face the rest of my life. thanks for your input tho, I appriciate it.

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I'm not so sure how old you are, but if you are eighteen and have insurance, a way of transportation and jbo to cover copays, there is nothing she can do about you going. This is probably really bad advice but unless she has acne herself (especially painful cysts) then she will never understand how it is.

The best thing to do is to first try reasoning with her to just allow to to make an appointment to the derma. There are other things that he/she can give you to help out with your acne

Good luck - and I hope I could help you somewhat.

KEEP US UPDATED! ;)

I honestly wouldn`t say that is bad advice. I`ve been trying to find a way to see a derm myself, just cause I hate talking about my face to my mom. She seems to only want me to use natural remedies. which I have tried....and have failed after time. Also, I don't exactly know how derm visits work...my mom has heath insurance that I am under..don't know if it would be cheaper that way, or if it's just the meds that are covered. Although either way, I'm almost to a point where I don't care how much I have to pay.

You did help me a lot actually. so thanks. hopefully I can start the convo of seeing a derm with my mom.. argh

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My mom was so upset with me when I told her I waned to get on accutane. basically I flipped out on the phone with her and starting crying and then she realized how important this was for me.

I have an such a boost in self esteem, make-up just goes on better and it's SO much easier to cover up scars from acne than active acne...SO SO SO much easier, my life is better and yours WILL be to if you give it a try. Your doctors take blood tests every month to make sure you are healthy enough to continue the drug so there is no need to worry.

The whole fertility thing, I know PLENTLY of people I have met on acne.org or just know that went on accutane, men and woman, and now have children without defects. It's only a fertility concern while you are on the drug and two months after taking the drug.

Another comforting thing is that the drug has been around for a few decades. I have three uncles that went on accutane while they were in college and they are now in their high 40's with no long-term side effects. It would have been taken of the market because seriously long-term side effects would have been detected at this point.

I wish you the best of luck with trying to achieve clear skin. Accutane is the only thing that has helped me, so if it worked for me it will work for you because my skin was as stubborn as it gets! best of luck!! :)

thanks soo much for the reply. I think I will have to explain that the whole infertility/ child defects thing is only while on the drug or shortly after. What I don't understand is why my mom allowed my brother to go on it. and now for me it's another story. that worst thing that happened to my brother was the whole drying thing. I am so ready to be done with wasting a shitload of my time trying to apply makeup over all the weird things going on with my face. and even then it doesn't look good. the redness is almost impossible to cover now. not to mention indents from scarring.

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yeah theres no need to go from over-the-counter products straight to accutane.

try a retinoid or topical antibiotic, and if its really as bad as you say it is, go for an oral antibiotic.

accutane really is a last resort. my cousin was on it and it was not worth the side effects for him

I agree, accutane is something nobody should rush into. I'm just worried that if I don't go for the oral antibiotic I will only waste time and gain more scarring. I wouldn't say that my acne is super bad, It's just the fact that I get cysts that scar, and never fully leave. plus my face is super oily so unless I apply benzoyl peroxide to the point where my face is peeling I will have constant smaller breakouts with the scarring cysts. right now my face is semi clear from all the vitamins I'm taking. without those I don't want to know what it would look like. but it is also super red and scarred/blotchy from previous acne and trying to get rid of oil.

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Make an appointment with a dermatologist. If you're covered under your mother's health insurance, then you'll probably just have a small copay for the visit, and then a copay for any meds (if you've met the deductible). Anywho, it's cheaper with insurance than no insurance at all.

Your acne may be severe enough that the derm may recommend accutane as the 1st course of treatment. Go have a candid conversation with the derm and your mother. Antibiotics and/or topical retinoids do work for some. Don't lose hope. If you're under 18, you have to be open with your parents about this. Goodluck.

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So, these replies have been useful to some extent...but I still can't build up the nerve to ask my mom about seing a dermatologist. I know I just have to bring it up. but how do I start that conversation.

ahhhhh.

also, there is only 1 dermatologist where I live...so I pray that if I do go...she will prescribe accutane so I can finally live life, and not deal with all these topicals and pills for the rest of my life. not to mention waste a wackload of money on makeup and everything else i have tried.

whennnn do i bring something like this up in a conversation? I'm worried she will just tell me to try more vitamins or something. fack

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First off, I would recommend exercising at least three times a week for an hour a day! That may help you fight acne!

Anyways, it would help to convince your parents if you have a dermatologist talk to them! They will explain the side effects.

Make it clear to your parents that acne puts a strain on your life. Acne is no fun, especially if you are in high school. I was blessed to have relatively clear skin throughout high school. High school should be the best time of your life, but that isn't possible if you're always worrying about your skin!

Don't wine or argue with your parents either. Talk to them as an adult, if they still disagree, don't argue or throw a fit.

Adrean

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Also, I've heard accutane can be expensive. Something to think about.

I would recommend using the acne.org regimen. I'm on month 2 and it's working great!

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First off, I would recommend exercising at least three times a week for an hour a day! That may help you fight acne!

Anyways, it would help to convince your parents if you have a dermatologist talk to them! They will explain the side effects.

Make it clear to your parents that acne puts a strain on your life. Acne is no fun, especially if you are in high school. I was blessed to have relatively clear skin throughout high school. High school should be the best time of your life, but that isn't possible if you're always worrying about your skin!

Don't wine or argue with your parents either. Talk to them as an adult, if they still disagree, don't argue or throw a fit.

Adrean

If I had the time to excersise I deffinately would, but i'm currently in my first year of university...and I doubt it would help...as my brother excercises regularily...and still has acne. (he already took accutane 4 years ago)

and I have deffinately looked at all the side effects. to me they are worth it if I can have a chance to have clearer skin..even if it does come back..as it did for my brother only not as bad.

thanks for the advice tho. i really do appeciate it. my biggest struggle is to start the conversation of askiing to see a dermatologist...I dont think i even have one...argh.

and in terms of throwing a fit...I don't really do that. but if i am unable to see a dermatologist i feel like my hopes of ever living my life will be cut short.

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Also, I've heard accutane can be expensive. Something to think about.

I would recommend using the acne.org regimen. I'm on month 2 and it's working great!

I live in Canada...so I think it's mostly covered my my moms health care that I'm under.

and in terms of the regimen. I've found my skin is too sensitive. I tried it....it helped to a degree in the begining..but then my skin all of a sudden got supper dry and flaky. and i havnt been able to get it to feel like skin again ever since. I used a moisturizer..but then i get too oily, just a vicious cycle.

if my skin isnt flaking off...its super oily and breaks out.

I'm glad it's working for you though.

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OK, so I am a Mom, and on accutane myself. A couple of things. I doubt even a derm will put you on accutane without trying other paths first. I VERY much think you should talk to your Mom about seeing a derm, don't even mention Accutane. Just go with an open mind (both of you). Take things one step at a time. You really should try other things first. Like antibiotics, prescription topicals like Retin-A.....etc., etc.......Go with the recommendations of the expert. Have your Mom with you the whole time. I know for sure I would not allow either of my daughters to go straight to Accutane without trying other methods first. Mind you I've suffered my whole life with acne and should have gone on Accutane many, many years ago to avoid all the scarring I have. I wouldn't want that for my kids or anyone! However, in hindsight I should have just kept trying methods and instead of quitting and giving up out of frustration, i should have kept at the derm and myself to get to where I am now. If my girls tried other methods without success I would definitely then go for the accutane.

Although exercise is good for SO many things, it is not going to clear your acne. Sorry, I hate to discount others advice and do think everyone should exercise, but I have exercised fairly moderately my whole life and had severe cystic acne.

Edited by enaid

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OK, so I am a Mom, and on accutane myself. A couple of things. I doubt even a derm will put you on accutane without trying other paths first. I VERY much think you should talk to your Mom about seeing a derm, don't even mention Accutane. Just go with an open mind (both of you). Take things one step at a time. You really should try other things first. Like antibiotics, prescription topicals like Retin-A.....etc., etc.......Go with the recommendations of the expert. Have your Mom with you the whole time. I know for sure I would not allow either of my daughters to go straight to Accutane without trying other methods first. Mind you I've suffered my whole life with acne and should have gone on Accutane many, many years ago to avoid all the scarring I have. I wouldn't want that for my kids or anyone! However, in hindsight I should have just kept trying methods and instead of quitting and giving up out of frustration, i should have kept at the derm and myself to get to where I am now. If my girls tried other methods without success I would definitely then go for the accutane.

Although exercise is good for SO many things, it is not going to clear your acne. Sorry, I hate to discount others advice and do think everyone should exercise, but I have exercised fairly moderately my whole life and had severe cystic acne.

Thanks so much for the reply, this has helped a lot. I just need to build up the nerve to ask to see the derm.

And I am aware that I will most likely have to try other things first...I will do that if I must...I just don't see any of those methods being long-term.I feel like any kind of face cream is a waste of time and money considering it might help, but still an occational cyst might come and leave a scar.

after doing a bunch of research...accutane seems to be the only thing that cures the deep down acne. other things may work, which I don't have a problem trying...but I don't want to have to keep applying things to my face my whole life and deal with redness/dryness, and everything else that comes with it.

noww...just gotta build up the nerve to ask. i don't know why it is soo hard. :(

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I am a female too... and I wouldn't have taken Accutane unless I was 100% positive it wouldn't mess with future pregnancies because having children is my soul purpose in life. But I spoke to my dermatologist, my family doctor, and my gynocologist and they all said the same thing: accutane leaves your body in less than a month and then there isn't any chance of Accutane caused birth defects.

"Accutane is formed naturally in the body from the Vitamin A present in the bloodstream. This is why large amounts of Vitamin A taken during pregnancy cause the same birth defects that Accutane does. Fortunately, because it is a naturally occurring product, the body is able to quickly remove Accutane from the bloodstream. It is gone from the blood within nine days and has no lasting effect on future pregnancies." -American Osteopathic College of Dermatology

Just print out a bunch of stuff from reliable websites and show her.

I don't know how old you are, but she might think that you may get pregnant while on accutane. Tell her you abstain from sex, ANNNND you will take birth control (I suggest the Nuvaring).

It sucks being a girl when you want/need Accutane :(

Oh... and I agree with "fml"... I think you should go to the dermatologist and just take it step-by-step, because you never know, other medications may work for you.

Good luck! Let us know what happens.

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I am a female too... and I wouldn't have taken Accutane unless I was 100% positive it wouldn't mess with future pregnancies because having children is my soul purpose in life. But I spoke to my dermatologist, my family doctor, and my gynocologist and they all said the same thing: accutane leaves your body in less than a month and then there isn't any chance of Accutane caused birth defects.

"Accutane is formed naturally in the body from the Vitamin A present in the bloodstream. This is why large amounts of Vitamin A taken during pregnancy cause the same birth defects that Accutane does. Fortunately, because it is a naturally occurring product, the body is able to quickly remove Accutane from the bloodstream. It is gone from the blood within nine days and has no lasting effect on future pregnancies." -American Osteopathic College of Dermatology

Just print out a bunch of stuff from reliable websites and show her.

I don't know how old you are, but she might think that you may get pregnant while on accutane. Tell her you abstain from sex, ANNNND you will take birth control (I suggest the Nuvaring).

It sucks being a girl when you want/need Accutane :(

Oh... and I agree with "fml"... I think you should go to the dermatologist and just take it step-by-step, because you never know, other medications may work for you.

Good luck! Let us know what happens.

that is a big relief, that multiple people agreed who are educated on accutane. I have to tell that to my mom. I'm 18...but I don't plan on having sex in the near future. this is another reason I pray I can do accutane now. I really don't want to have to go on birth control and mess with my hormones....which I don't think I would have to if I explained that I 100% wouldn't be sexually active. I mean...I have acne on my back and chest too. until that clears up I don't have any interest in that area.

Can someone tell me if they allow females to take accutane without birth control?...I for sure won't be having sex. I mean zero chance.

I NEEED TO GET TO A DERM. there is only one where I live...so hopefully I can set an appointment soon...I'm sure the waiting list is something like 2-4months :(

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OK, so I am a Mom, and on accutane myself. A couple of things. I doubt even a derm will put you on accutane without trying other paths first. I VERY much think you should talk to your Mom about seeing a derm, don't even mention Accutane. Just go with an open mind (both of you). Take things one step at a time. You really should try other things first. Like antibiotics, prescription topicals like Retin-A.....etc., etc.......Go with the recommendations of the expert. Have your Mom with you the whole time. I know for sure I would not allow either of my daughters to go straight to Accutane without trying other methods first. Mind you I've suffered my whole life with acne and should have gone on Accutane many, many years ago to avoid all the scarring I have. I wouldn't want that for my kids or anyone! However, in hindsight I should have just kept trying methods and instead of quitting and giving up out of frustration, i should have kept at the derm and myself to get to where I am now. If my girls tried other methods without success I would definitely then go for the accutane.

Although exercise is good for SO many things, it is not going to clear your acne. Sorry, I hate to discount others advice and do think everyone should exercise, but I have exercised fairly moderately my whole life and had severe cystic acne.

Thanks so much for the reply, this has helped a lot. I just need to build up the nerve to ask to see the derm.

And I am aware that I will most likely have to try other things first...I will do that if I must...I just don't see any of those methods being long-term.I feel like any kind of face cream is a waste of time and money considering it might help, but still an occational cyst might come and leave a scar.

after doing a bunch of research...accutane seems to be the only thing that cures the deep down acne. other things may work, which I don't have a problem trying...but I don't want to have to keep applying things to my face my whole life and deal with redness/dryness, and everything else that comes with it.

noww...just gotta build up the nerve to ask. i don't know why it is soo hard. :(

It won't be your whole life. It'll be a few months of trying different things and if they do not work you'll move on. Trust me, I'm old ;) and have done the "other" routes many times, mostly due to the pregnancy concerns. I think you absolutely should find out what works best for you now to avoid scarring. It seems like forever to wait, but it's not. Also know, now that I finally decided to go with accutane, I did do 4-5 months of antibiotics and Retin-A (again) first. This actually got my skin in fairly decent shape before starting accutane and I think it helped keep my initial break out minimal.

Good luck, and do please keep us posted.

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It won't be your whole life. It'll be a few months of trying different things and if they do not work you'll move on. Trust me, I'm old ;) and have done the "other" routes many times, mostly due to the pregnancy concerns. I think you absolutely should find out what works best for you now to avoid scarring. It seems like forever to wait, but it's not. Also know, now that I finally decided to go with accutane, I did do 4-5 months of antibiotics and Retin-A (again) first. This actually got my skin in fairly decent shape before starting accutane and I think it helped keep my initial break out minimal.

Good luck, and do please keep us posted.

yeah, the whole scarring thing seems to be a growing issue. I have done some reading on retin-a. I think it`s good if it helped achieve a minimal IB. although i think for me...I`de rather have the IB and just get it done. I have pretty much lost my life from this damn acne.

Does anyone have any tips on how to start this convo...it seems whenever I talk to my mom about my face she just tells me to try something new. not to mention I was just told to make a list of vitamins I need so she can order them. i`m jsut gunna explode one of these times and say I dont want to take like 30 pills a day...before I have anything major even wrong with me from old age etc. (although i would say acne is majorly defeating me and my face/body)

I must be starting to sounds like a broken record...so I appologize.

Anyone have their stories of when they first asked to see a derm? and how it went...? I think it might be so hard for me to ask because my mom took my bro to the derm without him having to ask...but for some reason she hasn't considered it for me.

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