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I've had acne on and off for 15 years...I'm 34. I never had acne as a teenager but developed it as an adult. My acne was usually pretty mild, but had two bouts of cystic breakouts. Once when I was 23 which left a few minor scars and another after I gave birth at 29 which left a few more scars.

The scars aren't visible, depending on the lighting as we all know, but the pain is always there. I'm always aware of the scarring and the lighting I'm in every day of my life. When I'm in bad lighting, my heart sinks and I get very self-conscious. I look around and see those with perfect skin, even in the worst lighting, and my heart sinks further. I wonder, why me? Don't we all ask this same question?

I always ask another question, "Will I ever be able to go out there into the world in any lighting and just feel alive and carefree?" I'm 34, and have not felt this freedom of mind since I was 22. And the worst part? No one around me understands the pain. I've talked to friends and family members, but they shove it aside saying I have an underlying emotional problem and body dismorphic disorder.

Then when I come to these boards and read your stories, I see I'm not alone. I see that acne and scarring has cause tremendous emotional hurt on others as well. And I, like many of you, have resorted to or have been put on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds to calm my nerves and to help me sleep. I try everthing I can to be hopeful. I even go to bed many nights wishing that there would be a miracle and I'd wake up with much of the scarring gone. Sometimes it's this wishful thinking that keeps me alive.

I will admit that the anxiety of the condition caused me to become suicidal. The desperation came out of feeling trapped. Feeling trapped in my own skin, literally. But will it ever end? Will things ever get better? I cry as I write this because I've been trying for so many damn years to cling on to any bit of hope. And so I'm here talking to you.

Edited by shalibee

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Scars are no fun! I've got 'em too, dozens of shallow ones all over my face and actively scarring acne, so I know the pain they can cause. Are the scars what bother you the most, or do you still have active acne that causes you anxiety? If the scars are the main source of your woes, why not take steps to treat them? Then you can have a greater hope that they will fade. It will only get better if you try to stop feeling helpless when it comes to your scars and take responsibility by working to improve them.

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It will only get better if you try to stop feeling helpless when it comes to your scars and take responsibility by working to improve them.

Interesting assumption you make here. Of course I've tried to correct my scarring. With someone who does have scarring, treatment is the first glimpse of hope. It's when someone has tried numerous treatments over years which do not work so well or make some scars worse when one really starts to feel dismal.

Your statement to stop feeling helpless and to take responsibility is certainly a very immature statement. I hope you can find a bit more compassion than that with others because you, yourself, may need it one day.

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It will only get better if you try to stop feeling helpless when it comes to your scars and take responsibility by working to improve them.

Interesting assumption you make here. Of course I've tried to correct my scarring. With someone who does have scarring, treatment is the first glimpse of hope. It's when someone has tried numerous treatments over years which do not work so well or make some scars worse when one really starts to feel dismal.

Your statement to stop feeling helpless and to take responsibility is certainly a very immature statement. I hope you can find a bit more compassion than that with others because you, yourself, may need it one day.

I'm sorry if my comment came across as callous; I'm only trying to help.

I'm not sure what sort of reply you're looking for here, but as far as I know there are only two ways for this situation to end, and neither one is easy. One is to continue to work on improving your scars and research and try new things, and the other is to stop giving a damn about them and move on with your life. If the scars won't go away or improve no matter what you try, which is doubtful unless you've tried every treatment out there, then you can either be a happy and confident person with a few acne scars, or a miserable and self-conscious person with acne scars. Even if you don't have the power to magically erase your acne scars, you do have the power to make the choice to be happy no matter what your skin looks like. If you know that you're doing the best you can to fix things, then why beat yourself up over something you can't seem to control?

How do the scars actually hinder your life, aside from causing you mental anguish?

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You say other people don,t understand why your scars brother you. Maybe they are not that bad and just have bad self esteem.I would like to help as i also hate what i see in the mirror.A lot of people are the same.What does your parther say about your skin or scars.Post a picture and i give you honest answers. Only thing i can think you could do is go to your docter and tell him/her how you feel.

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It will only get better if you try to stop feeling helpless when it comes to your scars and take responsibility by working to improve them.

Interesting assumption you make here. Of course I've tried to correct my scarring. With someone who does have scarring, treatment is the first glimpse of hope. It's when someone has tried numerous treatments over years which do not work so well or make some scars worse when one really starts to feel dismal.

Your statement to stop feeling helpless and to take responsibility is certainly a very immature statement. I hope you can find a bit more compassion than that with others because you, yourself, may need it one day.

I'm sorry if my comment came across as callous; I'm only trying to help.

How do the scars actually hinder your life, aside from causing you mental anguish?

Thank you for you post. Sorry I got a bit sensitive. Are there things which have really helped your scarring? I have darker skin so have to be careful in trying anything too invasive. My skin tone tends to scar more easily as well.

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Thank you for you post. Sorry I got a bit sensitive. Are there things which have really helped your scarring? I have darker skin so have to be careful in trying anything too invasive. My skin tone tends to scar more easily as well.
My scars are mostly fresh ones (0-1 year old), so I'm going to wait a bit for them to heal before I treat them to see if they improve at all on their own. I have been using Source Naturals Skin Eternal DMAE Serum, and I think it helps to tighten the skin and make the scars less noticeable over time. I'm also using red light therapy to promote collagen growth and fill in the dented scars. Neither of those are invasive. What have you tried already?

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