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Mirza89

Well I completely broke down today...

I feel like I need to get this off my chest, because it's so damn hard to talk to anyone with even an ounce of understanding or experience in coping with acne, unless they've actually experienced it themselves. Most people are compassionate yes, but there's a fine line between compassion out of necessity (because they know you, they like you, they live with you) and compassion out of shared emotional pain.

I trust a lot of you here share my pain too... which is why I probably feel more comfortable saying any of this to people on a forum than I do in real life. Even close family members.

I used to have perfect, baby-faced skin until I turned 16 when I came down with moderate acne. Which was something I could bare with. It actually had NO psychological impact on me and life continued on as normal right up until 2008, which if you could plot my outlook on life and pessimism on a graph, 2008 would be the point where things plummeted downward like a meteor from outer space.

I mean the last two years of my life, I've gone from having a job and an active social life as well as a firm interest in my course of study at college to pretty much living like Robinson Crusoe (just replace the nice, tropical island with a crappy 2 bedroom apartment). In other words, a complete hermit, isolated from human contact and avoiding most modern social activities.

My acne went from moderate, non-cystic acne that was localized to my face to severe cystic acne that's spread to my back and neck also.

It's already starting to leave some scarring.

I've cut off all contact with my old group of friends, stop concentrating on studies (hence my grades went right out the window), don't work (not because I can't find a job, but because I don't want to work in this condition) and I've pretty much stopped doing most things I enjoy or used to enjoy in life save for exercising a lot and watching films.

Sometimes I go 3 or 4 days in a row without leaving the house, when my acne flares up. It's really THAT bad.

Confidence? Self-esteem? Positive Energy? Self Reliance? Non-existent. I can't even look most people in the face, I feel like an alien being when a pair of eyes observes my face.

My mind conjures up all the things I imagine they're thinking when they look at me, i.e. "Is that your nose or did you inhale a friggin' grape?"

A few days ago, I had an absolute crying fit, like my entire family was killed... and cried my eyes out after having a particularly horrible break-out and just staring at myself in the mirror.

I must have spent a good hour sobbing in my room and reigniting all my pent-up frustration and anger over the last two years regarding how my life has turned out at 20 years of age.

Fortunately, I have started a course of Accutane, I'm one month in and on 40mg per day. I am starting to see glimmers of hope but when you've been dealing with acne for 5 years, you never, ever set your hopes too high am I right?

My acne is so unpredictable, I never want to believe too firmly in any solution.

I mean it feels like I've been fighting a goddamn war; against my body, my willpower, my sanity, my faith and hope in absolutely everything positive regarding life.

Because I'm sure as hell not experiencing it.

I feel like I'm becoming so cynical and quick to anger that if I ever overcome this affliction 100% I might be one of the most bitter people on the planet.

Acne hasn't only changed my body, but my attitude, my outlook on life, my feelings for other people, my willpower, my mental toughness, it's like I've been imprisoned the past two years.

The thing that keeps going through my mind recently is the word "WHY". I keep demanding an explanation for why I have to suffer like this. Something so damn logical and obvious that I'd smack myself for overlooking it. Something like "Oh gee, would you look at this. My entire life I've been using the wrong damn face wash. That's all it is. If I change face washes, my skin will be good enough to eat dinner off"

Of course, there's really no answer but I mean, I can't stop just racking my brains out trying to think why I have been so unfairly treated by my hormones, my genes, my whatever the fck causes this bullsh*t.

Excuse the vitriolic ranting but all I really wanted to say was... do ANY OF YOU feel this way as well?

I mean I feel like a non-entity right now. Every time I wake up, it's like somebody jumps onto your chest with steel boots as that realization that you still have acne dawns upon you.

It's pretty much consuming every thought I have these days. Every 5 minutes, I'll start wondering if I can feel a new pimple forming or if this old has finally died down.

Gee I feel like sh*t. Absolute sh*t.

Any advice for dealing with this? I mean even some of your favourite music to listen to when you're really blue would be good... lol

Edited by Mirza89

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ISOTRETINOIN.

From the OP's post:

Fortunately, I have started a course of Accutane, I'm one month in and on 40mg per day. I am starting to see glimmers of hope but when you've been dealing with acne for 5 years, you never, ever set your hopes too high am I right?

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I don't have acne that's too bad, but I do understand your pain. Some days I don't even want to go to school... I just want to stay at home, where I'm not vulnerable for seven hours.

Anyway, just keep your hopes high - you're on accutane! One of the most powerful drugs for treating acne. If you have a positive attitude, positive things will happen.

I've decided to stop stressing about my acne. I hope you do, too :)

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I feel like I need to get this off my chest, because it's so damn hard to talk to anyone with even an ounce of understanding or experience in coping with acne, unless they've actually experienced it themselves. Most people are compassionate yes, but there's a fine line between compassion out of necessity (because they know you, they like you, they live with you) and compassion out of shared emotional pain.

I trust a lot of you here share my pain too... which is why I probably feel more comfortable saying any of this to people on a forum than I do in real life. Even close family members.

I used to have perfect, baby-faced skin until I turned 16 when I came down with moderate acne. Which was something I could bare with. It actually had NO psychological impact on me and life continued on as normal right up until 2008, which if you could plot my outlook on life and pessimism on a graph, 2008 would be the point where things plummeted downward like a meteor from outer space.

I mean the last two years of my life, I've gone from having a job and an active social life as well as a firm interest in my course of study at college to pretty much living like Robinson Crusoe (just replace the nice, tropical island with a crappy 2 bedroom apartment). In other words, a complete hermit, isolated from human contact and avoiding most modern social activities.

My acne went from moderate, non-cystic acne that was localized to my face to severe cystic acne that's spread to my back and neck also.

It's already starting to leave some scarring.

I've cut off all contact with my old group of friends, stop concentrating on studies (hence my grades went right out the window), don't work (not because I can't find a job, but because I don't want to work in this condition) and I've pretty much stopped doing most things I enjoy or used to enjoy in life save for exercising a lot and watching films.

Sometimes I go 3 or 4 days in a row without leaving the house, when my acne flares up. It's really THAT bad.

Confidence? Self-esteem? Positive Energy? Self Reliance? Non-existent. I can't even look most people in the face, I feel like an alien being when a pair of eyes observes my face.

My mind conjures up all the things I imagine they're thinking when they look at me, i.e. "Is that your nose or did you inhale a friggin' grape?"

A few days ago, I had an absolute crying fit, like my entire family was killed... and cried my eyes out after having a particularly horrible break-out and just staring at myself in the mirror.

I must have spent a good hour sobbing in my room and reigniting all my pent-up frustration and anger over the last two years regarding how my life has turned out at 20 years of age.

Fortunately, I have started a course of Accutane, I'm one month in and on 40mg per day. I am starting to see glimmers of hope but when you've been dealing with acne for 5 years, you never, ever set your hopes too high am I right?

My acne is so unpredictable, I never want to believe too firmly in any solution.

I mean it feels like I've been fighting a goddamn war; against my body, my willpower, my sanity, my faith and hope in absolutely everything positive regarding life.

Because I'm sure as hell not experiencing it.

I feel like I'm becoming so cynical and quick to anger that if I ever overcome this affliction 100% I might be one of the most bitter people on the planet.

Acne hasn't only changed my body, but my attitude, my outlook on life, my feelings for other people, my willpower, my mental toughness, it's like I've been imprisoned the past two years.

The thing that keeps going through my mind recently is the word "WHY". I keep demanding an explanation for why I have to suffer like this. Something so damn logical and obvious that I'd smack myself for overlooking it. Something like "Oh gee, would you look at this. My entire life I've been using the wrong damn face wash. That's all it is. If I change face washes, my skin will be good enough to eat dinner off"

Of course, there's really no answer but I mean, I can't stop just racking my brains out trying to think why I have been so unfairly treated by my hormones, my genes, my whatever the fck causes this bullsh*t.

Excuse the vitriolic ranting but all I really wanted to say was... do ANY OF YOU feel this way as well?

I mean I feel like a non-entity right now. Every time I wake up, it's like somebody jumps onto your chest with steel boots as that realization that you still have acne dawns upon you.

It's pretty much consuming every thought I have these days. Every 5 minutes, I'll start wondering if I can feel a new pimple forming or if this old has finally died down.

Gee I feel like sh*t. Absolute sh*t.

Any advice for dealing with this? I mean even some of your favourite music to listen to when you're really blue would be good... lol

Oh man! ur making me cry! i don't think my acne has ever been as bad as yours, but i can relate in the way that we're both 20 and you feel like the best years of your life are passing you by because of you acne! yes i've felt that way, and i've cried over my face, even when my mom and friends told me it wasn't so bad, and i've never gave myself a chance to even have a boyfriend even when the guy i liked told me he also like me. Its just ridiculous how crazy acne can drive a person, and no matter how much others encourage us, its not gonna be ok until we fine result. At a point i even blamed my mom because the bad genes are from her, 2 out of 4 kids escaped the spell they have perfect skin, and the oldest whos skin is pretty clear now, and I had to suffer. One thing i never did is give up, and finally i landed on the regiment which actually works for me, it was unbelievable, i had all those products in my bathroom but just didn't know how to use them. So i hope you do the same PLEASE do not give up! trust me you will appreciate life so much more once you beat this, and it will make you a better person, but for now take the small steps go out every now and then even if its at night because its healthy you're young, put on some makeup that's what its for! i wish you all the luck and you are in my prayers!

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Hey pls don't give up!

I am on my second course of Accutane, first round improved but didnt cure it completely.

Take it as perhaps a trial from God. Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.

I am sure that with Accutane, you will be completely cured within a year, or even sooner.

Take care!

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At a point i even blamed my mom because the bad genes are from her, 2 out of 4 kids escaped the spell they have perfect skin, and the oldest whos skin is pretty clear now, and I had to suffer.

That struck a chord with me. :D Did you ever feel like beating up your genes?

My mother's side is where I inherited my acne from too, but somehow no one else in my family has it and my mother never, ever had it as bad as I did.

Genetics is like a roulette table, it's so damn chance-based, it's unfair.

Thank you for the kind words... I appreciate it. And I'm glad you're life seems to be back to normal... don't take it for granted. Enjoy ;)

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I know exactly how you feel.

What you're experiencing is an important season in your life, a time of growth, understanding and self-reflection. It's a difficult and painful time but also, more often than not, a necessary one that you will constantly look back upon in the years to come. This experience, pain, and helplessness will stay with you and teach you how to cope.

And learning how to cope is the best lesson of life. After this shit, you'll be able to deal with anything. After accutane clears you up, you'll think to yourself: wow, I forgot that living was so easy. Obstacles will come your way and you'll view them differently, because you survived your own personal hell. Many people live through most of their life without this exam, and when they face hardship, they sink. You won't.

I'm not asking you to actively learn from your experience. This learning will be natural. You are learning without your knowing it. Nor I am I asking to to go out and have fun with friends, to socialize in spite of your condition. I know it's near impossible given your situation and the way acne makes you feel.

But you must know, that this too will pass. Yes, it will. When it can't get any worse, it can only get better. Trust me. In the past, at its worst my face had 13 active cysts that didn't heal for months. My experience, no one understood or even sought to understand. But I know that my experience has made_me_understand, become more sensitive to, other peoples' suffering; I can demonstrate extraordinary empathy towards people and even their slightest concerns. It's a gift, I tell you; for God knows that we don't show enough caring and compassion to the people around us.

And as cheesy as this may sound, you will receive this gift also after you're through, no matter how bitter you currently claim you've become. So I wish you the best. And don't rush yourself. This experience, this training you are going through, cannot and should not be rushed in any fashion. Treat this as a a season of growth thrust upon you and make the best of it. But don't force or place too many expectations on quick results.

I've lost 4 years of my life due to acne, which fluctuated from severe to moderate to severe to light to clear. It was the hardest and most retched time of my life. But if I could go back in time and re-live these four years with clear skin, would I? I think you know the answer.

You will get through this whether you like it or not! : )

Edited by john1234

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I'm dealing with relatively the same stuff and my future is looking pretty oblique right now if not grim.. :@ It feels like i'm basically gonna fail uni this year, making up every excuse not to go out , the girl i love more than anything else in the world is getting bored of me and im afraid im starting to get too clingy with her , I just feel really numb right now and literally only want to sleep all day , all of this stress seems unmitigated and it's getting hard to even process a thought these days , ugh not a good sign

and thank you John , that was actually inspirational.

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I love your writing.

I wish I could write something significant or poignant but its just not in me at the moment.

I am in a similiar situation and age. I've gotten past the worst of my depression and I am hopeful. I still struggle though to figure out what I am going to do with myself and whether I'll ever feel normal or good again. Im at the point where itdoesnt matter; for my family ive got to try to move on or find a way to cope.

music that hits me in the right way. not very happy tho.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K0VmUKPpfc...feature=related

Wish you all the best.

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I feel like I need to get this off my chest, because it's so damn hard to talk to anyone with even an ounce of understanding or experience in coping with acne, unless they've actually experienced it themselves. Most people are compassionate yes, but there's a fine line between compassion out of necessity (because they know you, they like you, they live with you) and compassion out of shared emotional pain.

I trust a lot of you here share my pain too... which is why I probably feel more comfortable saying any of this to people on a forum than I do in real life. Even close family members.

I used to have perfect, baby-faced skin until I turned 16 when I came down with moderate acne. Which was something I could bare with. It actually had NO psychological impact on me and life continued on as normal right up until 2008, which if you could plot my outlook on life and pessimism on a graph, 2008 would be the point where things plummeted downward like a meteor from outer space.

I mean the last two years of my life, I've gone from having a job and an active social life as well as a firm interest in my course of study at college to pretty much living like Robinson Crusoe (just replace the nice, tropical island with a crappy 2 bedroom apartment). In other words, a complete hermit, isolated from human contact and avoiding most modern social activities.

My acne went from moderate, non-cystic acne that was localized to my face to severe cystic acne that's spread to my back and neck also.

It's already starting to leave some scarring.

I've cut off all contact with my old group of friends, stop concentrating on studies (hence my grades went right out the window), don't work (not because I can't find a job, but because I don't want to work in this condition) and I've pretty much stopped doing most things I enjoy or used to enjoy in life save for exercising a lot and watching films.

Sometimes I go 3 or 4 days in a row without leaving the house, when my acne flares up. It's really THAT bad.

Confidence? Self-esteem? Positive Energy? Self Reliance? Non-existent. I can't even look most people in the face, I feel like an alien being when a pair of eyes observes my face.

My mind conjures up all the things I imagine they're thinking when they look at me, i.e. "Is that your nose or did you inhale a friggin' grape?"

A few days ago, I had an absolute crying fit, like my entire family was killed... and cried my eyes out after having a particularly horrible break-out and just staring at myself in the mirror.

I must have spent a good hour sobbing in my room and reigniting all my pent-up frustration and anger over the last two years regarding how my life has turned out at 20 years of age.

Fortunately, I have started a course of Accutane, I'm one month in and on 40mg per day. I am starting to see glimmers of hope but when you've been dealing with acne for 5 years, you never, ever set your hopes too high am I right?

My acne is so unpredictable, I never want to believe too firmly in any solution.

I mean it feels like I've been fighting a goddamn war; against my body, my willpower, my sanity, my faith and hope in absolutely everything positive regarding life.

Because I'm sure as hell not experiencing it.

I feel like I'm becoming so cynical and quick to anger that if I ever overcome this affliction 100% I might be one of the most bitter people on the planet.

Acne hasn't only changed my body, but my attitude, my outlook on life, my feelings for other people, my willpower, my mental toughness, it's like I've been imprisoned the past two years.

The thing that keeps going through my mind recently is the word "WHY". I keep demanding an explanation for why I have to suffer like this. Something so damn logical and obvious that I'd smack myself for overlooking it. Something like "Oh gee, would you look at this. My entire life I've been using the wrong damn face wash. That's all it is. If I change face washes, my skin will be good enough to eat dinner off"

Of course, there's really no answer but I mean, I can't stop just racking my brains out trying to think why I have been so unfairly treated by my hormones, my genes, my whatever the fck causes this bullsh*t.

Excuse the vitriolic ranting but all I really wanted to say was... do ANY OF YOU feel this way as well?

I mean I feel like a non-entity right now. Every time I wake up, it's like somebody jumps onto your chest with steel boots as that realization that you still have acne dawns upon you.

It's pretty much consuming every thought I have these days. Every 5 minutes, I'll start wondering if I can feel a new pimple forming or if this old has finally died down.

Gee I feel like sh*t. Absolute sh*t.

Any advice for dealing with this? I mean even some of your favourite music to listen to when you're really blue would be good... lol

3-4 days without leaving the house? Thats nothing.

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I know (if only to a certain extent) how you feel. Im 19 and in college. Acne wasted my high school life away. My acne is no longer that bad, maybe 75-80% better than it was in high school because of all the crazy things i have been doing. But yeah, i just don't want to be around other people when i have a face full of zits/brown marks

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OP, am in the exact same position, i used to got out, socialise and all that jazz, now i sit and wait, while my derm keeps fobbing me off with antibiotics that don't work, such is life.

In regards to your depression, I think the accutane may be making your depression even worse, so keep that in mind, and keep your chin up, you are taking a medicine that is known for its amazing results, at least sleep in the knowledge that you are doing something to change your situation.

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I Reaaly Do Feel For You! And Its nice to talk to people with similarity! like you dont need to go out and talk to people with clear skins and think what are they thinking about my skin! yep same feelings wanting to stay in, no wanting to work, not going out, no school, depressions!

buti guess its about patience, i know it sounds stpid but,

drink atleast 6 glases of water, plenty or vegs n fruits, and dont listen to depressin music lol it will make your mind worst and make it more depressin, so need to get in a happy feeling even though its hard. stress is not good, but i guess its hard not to stress when you have acne right guys? and i hate it when people say ohh you shouldnt get stressy it makes it worst!!!!! like YOU WOULDNT KNOW HOW I FEEL CUZ YOUR NOT ME!

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You sound exactly like me. Except that I'm 28 years old, and have been experiencing the acne for 10 years. My face is extraordinarily scarred now. But I feel exactly as you do. Exactly. I became addicted to antianxiety meds because they made me sleep and made me feel somewhat peaceful. Otherwise, I wake up and the fact that I'm an ugly monster slaps me in the face so hard I can't stand it. I do not like going anywhere. You stay in for a couple of days at a time? I stay in for weeks now that I don't go to school anymore.

2008 was certainly my downfall year, as well. 2009 continued to get worse. Not sure what 2010 will bring. I haven't had a job since 2007. I used to go to school, work full time, had a teaching job at the college. I was happy. And I had no problem being in front of people. I had friends! I had confidence. I felt sexy in my relationship. Then my acne became insane, people starting being very, very rude to me. I feel like crap. I don't even like being in a room with light, because I know my face is more visible. I haven't looked in the mirror for a very long time now.

You're not alone, but I have no advice. I wouldn't even know where to begin!

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we all understand and wish you luck .Am sure your skin will get better soom and you will be a stronger parson for it

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This may cheer you up. The numbers are on your side. Chin up !

In 60 – 80 percent of people, the treatment can lead to a permanent cure at a dose between 0,5 – 1 mg/kg body weight per day for 16 – 20 weeks. New evidence suggest that a cumulative dose of 120 mg /kg body weight during the course at a daily dose of at least 0.75 mg/kg body weight may be more important than the duration of the treatment.

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/Accutane-t70442.html

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You probably wont listen to me but i'll tell you anyway. i had crazy moderate/cystic acne and you know how i turned than to practically nothing? I STARTED GOING OUT! When you stay in your house doing nothing avoid sunlight etc, the toxics in your body than you obviously have, have no where to go and are just circulating around to your skin. being in the fresh air having sunlight moving around etc will HELP YOUR SKIN, please trust me. just walking around gets oxygen in your blood that goes to your skin and clears it from inside out. everyone wonders why people without acne dont have to do anything its because THERE ALWAYS OUT! they move they laugh they smile they have fun which is great for you and your skin. i know its hard because ive been there, but if you cant handle it until your skin gets better, go somewhere really remote or tiny amounts of people and just walk around bare faced feel air feel sun feel HAPPY. Acne is just as physchological as it is pyhsical probably more. if you cant do that, be with people you love and trust. i hang out with my very best friends my family and there friends with no make up on and they dont say a word. it makes me feel amazing and it makes my skin amazing too. please try it.

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Thanks to each and every one of you for your kind words of support and comfort. Really, thanks.

Believe it or not (I'm not sure if you guys are as cynical as I am) but it DOES help reading and sharing the combined mental and emotional anguish of having acne between sufferers.

It kind of feels like sharing the burden around.

John1234's post really hit a nerve in me, and sometimes I do feel like if I manage to overcome my acne (not holding my breath though) that'll I be mentally tough as nails because of it and more acutely sensitive to the emotion's of others as well as more grateful for just the everyday things in life we all take for granted.

I know patience is a virtue and I know Accutane takes time to work it's magic but man, it's been 5 long years... which have progressively worsened and worsened.

Can you blame me for being so demanding for things to drastically change?

I applaud any of you out there dealing with acne who can manage to keep your head's high and your blood pressure low, lol.

I never used to have to deal with my emotions in this way nor was I even susceptible to them, I used to come off as pretty cold-hearted and careless during my teenage years.

Now I'm back to square one it seems, learning how to properly express and control my feelings.

Hopefully, this is just one of the many things that will turn out for the better.

One more question for you guys...

Do you ever find yourself becoming more overtly religious during times when your acne gets particularly bad?

I don't know if it's just me, but sometimes I can't help but feel I've been "punished" by God or some karma-like cosmic force for wrongdoings I've made in my life.

I find myself thanking "God" whenever my acne does seem to clear up and even praying at times, and trust me, I was NEVER a religious person before.

Edited by Mirza89

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I used to have perfect, baby-faced skin until I turned 16

Same here.

Every time I wake up, it's like somebody jumps onto your chest with steel boots as that realization that you still have acne dawns upon you.

I like this analogy.

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Hey i completely get where your coming from, acne has mucked up my life these past couple of years aswell. I have moderate/severe cystic acne and started my first course of accutane about 2 months ago. Every now and then i break down, in the way you described.

And for your other question yes i often find myself randomly praying for my skin to get better, even though i was never religeous before. And when i think of karma and stuff i try and think of it in the opposite way and that because im going through all this crap now it means i will be realy happy at some other stage in my life...if you get what i mean.

Btw when i get really depressed about my acne my favourite thing to do is to just turn my music up to full volume and go for a run for half an hour or something, gets all my anger and stuff out, makes me feel better.

Anyway good luck with your tane, hope it all works out.

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Mebe--I really liked all of those songs.

It's been a year and a half since I've been out of school/the world.

I hope we all find the strength to get better and live.

This thread made me feel a lot less lonley.

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awww i almost felt like crying after i read this. i feel your pain

i had one of the worst break out a month ago. my acne was never this bad, it was so awful. my cheek was covered in big red zits... it was painful and itchy. thanks to doxy, i'm almost 100% clear now.

accutane is a miracle drug. yes it does have nasty side effects, but it really helps with acne. don't worry, i'm sure youll be happy with the results! don't give up hope and don't let acne affect your life. you're still young, so live your life to the fullest and stop letting acne hold you back. :)

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wow, i know exactly how you feel. my best friend is the one that consoles me when i'm having a breakdown about my acne, but its so hard to believe that what she says is actually true or if shes saying it to get me to stop talking about my acne issues. she has flawless skin, and i mean flawless. maybe one clogged pore on her nose and thats about it. she washes her face with water, thats it. its tough. i used to cry about my acne all the time, and i still do. i try not to think about it as much. but there are so many other things to worry about in life. i can't let my acne hold me back from accomplishing the things that i want in my life; thats unacceptable. i used to run to the bathroom during all of my passing periods to check my face. it was that bad. acne was taking control of my life. i'm finally learning to let go, though. i can't change some things that are not in my control. some people take perfect skin for granted. they'll realize that when they might have to deal with adult acne later. i used to layer on makeup like crazy. tinted moisturizer, then concealer, then foundation, then like 3 layers of powder. it was that bad. now, i've kind of stopped caring. so what if i have acne? at least i'm not dying of cancer. at least i live in a house and have parents that love me and a little brother who looks up to me. at least i will always have a substantial amount of food to eat and water to drink. it could be worse, much, much worse. but it's not. it takes time; im training myself to be patient, but its extremely difficult.

my derm is trying to put me on accutane. truthfully, i don't even think that i need it. i dont even have any actives right now, just PIH and macules on my cheeks. they've faded substantially, but the remnants of my old picking days are still there. i regret even touching my face to begin with. oh well, i had to learn one way or another, right?

oh, songs! i have some for you:

float on by modest mouse

dig by incubus

punch drunk by incubus

daytripper by the beatles

electric feel by MGMT

kick push by lupe fiasco

go baby by lupe fiasco

nas' entire album Illmatic

all at once by the fray

you got me by colbie caillat

the dynamo of volition by jason mraz

curbside prophet by jason mraz

butterfly by jason mraz

Edited by Sima

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