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I have been feeling so depressed lately. The other day I went back and visited one of my high school teachers with a friend. I was saddened when she (the teacher) told me that she never really got to know me since i was so reserved. I felt bad because that was never my intention and because she really was a great and inspirational teacher. And now that i look back, I see that acne ruined high school for me. It ruined my self-esteem and self image. I went through a major depression back then, it lasted through most of my senior year as I remember. i hardly made any friends, during lunch I would just take refuge in the library and use books as a form of escape from reality; i swear i must have read HUNDREDS of books throughout high school. I never went to my senior prom, I avoided pictures with friends and family on graduation night, Never been to a party (even though i had plenty of chances to), i have never even been on a date... I feel like I lost many valuable lessons that most people learn in high school. and now I am a freshman in college and sometimes I feel so...insecure, socially retarded, and immature compared to my classmates. I just don't know how to approach people. And sometime that just gets me really angry at myself because deep down I know that it's partially my fault and not just the acne's. I just don't want the tragedy to repeat itself and find myself missing out on the whole "college experience". I can never talk about this to my friends or family. I'm sure that they will listen, but its just way too embarrassing. (Heck it embarrassing to buy acne products at a store I'm always just dodging the isle making sure no one is looking...) so i just going to post it here and comfort myself in the fact that I know I'm not alone.

On a happier note: Ever since High School graduation I have decided 'It's enough, I will be a new, better person and do everything within my reach to get clear'. I'm trying to be more social and make more friends and get out of my 'comfort zone' I have also cleaned out my diet to an extent that I would not have believed possible. I am strictly following a skin care regimen, I'm drinking more water, and I am taking a few supplements. So far, my skin is looking better than ever so I hope I can solve this acne problem sometime this year :D

Edited by red2528

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sounds like me..

had the same problems in high school.. but i ended up dropping out cause i didnt want to have to deal with it anymore..

im a freshman in college now too and i really do feel like i missed out on a big part of what highschool is supposed to teach you.. being social is hard when people look at you a certain way.. at least it is for me

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I totally get this, it was exactly the same for me - hideing away in the library because of my acne, thats how I remember those years. Unfortunately, I also did the same at university so I missed out on all that as well, something which I am really depressed and bitter about now. Your still young enough though to make up for it now though, go for it, don't make the mistake again like I did.

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I totally get this, it was exactly the same for me - hideing away in the library because of my acne, thats how I remember those years. Unfortunately, I also did the same at university so I missed out on all that as well, something which I am really depressed and bitter about now. Your still young enough though to make up for it now though, go for it, don't make the mistake again like I did.

Although I still haven't made new friends, well maybe one, at my university (still hang out with my old high school friends) I will try to be more social this upcoming quarter that starts next week. I REALLY don't want to spend my 3 hour lunchbreak up in the fourth floor of the library playing on my laptop or reading a book... Last quarter I hung out with a girl i knew from a summer program i was in so it wasn't that bad... I just dont know HOW to make friends really. all the friends i have now approached me the first time. Maybe I will just get more involved at my school and join clubs or whatever.

Edited by red2528

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I feel the same way. I was a library person too. No parties. Not get togethers even that much the last 2 1/2 yrs. How has it been for you to come out of your shell? It's my 1st year of college too and I'm not sure I'm doing too well in that category. It's hard :(

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Ooh, I can relate to some of the things you mentioned :(. I'm usually spending the lunch breaks drawing, or sitting with my phone, looking like I don't have time to chat (and I'm making sure my hair is covering my face). The friends I got since the acne came, took three years to get, since they almost always needed to approach me and "lead" the conversation (since I felt bad about talking face-to-face). I see now, that I could have had "real" friends, where I'm sure they don't care about how I look, I could have been to more parties (and something similar), hell, I could maybe even have had a boyfriend :(.

It doesn't make it easier that I was the only one who got acne (except for one other girl - she was my best friend, until she got clear skin and started hanging out with the "popular" girls).

And yes, buying products is really embaressing .... I feel like everyone is staring at me ><.

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I have been feeling so depressed lately. The other day I went back and visited one of my high school teachers with a friend. I was saddened when she (the teacher) told me that she never really got to know me since i was so reserved. I felt bad because that was never my intention and because she really was a great and inspirational teacher. And now that i look back, I see that acne ruined high school for me. It ruined my self-esteem and self image. I went through a major depression back then, it lasted through most of my senior year as I remember. i hardly made any friends, during lunch I would just take refuge in the library and use books as a form of escape from reality; i swear i must have read HUNDREDS of books throughout high school. I never went to my senior prom, I avoided pictures with friends and family on graduation night, Never been to a party (even though i had plenty of chances to), i have never even been on a date... I feel like I lost many valuable lessons that most people learn in high school. and now I am a freshman in college and sometimes I feel so...insecure, socially retarded, and immature compared to my classmates. I just don't know how to approach people. And sometime that just gets me really angry at myself because deep down I know that it's partially my fault and not just the acne's. I just don't want the tragedy to repeat itself and find myself missing out on the whole "college experience". I can never talk about this to my friends or family. I'm sure that they will listen, but its just way too embarrassing. (Heck it embarrassing to buy acne products at a store I'm always just dodging the isle making sure no one is looking...) so i just going to post it here and comfort myself in the fact that I know I'm not alone.

On a happier note: Ever since High School graduation I have decided 'It's enough, I will be a new, better person and do everything within my reach to get clear'. I'm trying to be more social and make more friends and get out of my 'comfort zone' I have also cleaned out my diet to an extent that I would not have believed possible. I am strictly following a skin care regimen, I'm drinking more water, and I am taking a few supplements. So far, my skin is looking better than ever so I hope I can solve this acne problem sometime this year :D

Well seems a lot of us can relate and have been there. And yeah It Is a comfort to know you're Not alone. I know it still doesn't make it any easier though, but having people who really care about you does!

from what I can tell though, You seem like a genuinely positive person to me.

Your end Note was uplifting! I do hope things get better for you, and trust me I was also a library person, that's what got me into Reading and Learning more, growing as a person allowing myself to not be 'dumbed down' by my fellow peers, refusing in joining them in their silly pranks and immature behaviour. If you think you're socially retarded and immature. then I dunno what that makes the Bullies and Jokesters at our schools.

I avoided the shopping isles too, and just walked right down the "skin care isle" not even blinking. I'd grab the nearest Clearasil product on the shelf I spotted and casually make my way to the till. pay for it and leave as fast as humanly possible to avoid any gazes. But to be honest with you, what Is so bad about Wanting to Get better clearer skin? heck at least We're Doing something about it.

That's how I look at it now, I stare the people, who give me odd looks right in the eye and smile with confidence saying. "Yeah I'm getting it to treat my Acne, So what's the problem?"

But hey on a related note, Good For You for coming clean (so to speak) , sharing your story and taking that step towards attaining your medium of bliss!

congratulations! haha i totally know how you feel- I absolutely HATE buying acne stuff from the store its so embarrasing

hope everything works out for you

I know, I was so pathetic, I'd sometimes get my Mother to buy it for me

or the best excuse I ever had was "it's for my sister, she's in the car over there" then I'd *point at some random girl* The cashier just smiled and I bet, knew it was Bs!

Oh man. :lol:

I totally get this, it was exactly the same for me - hideing away in the library because of my acne, thats how I remember those years. Unfortunately, I also did the same at university so I missed out on all that as well, something which I am really depressed and bitter about now. Your still young enough though to make up for it now though, go for it, don't make the mistake again like I did.

Although I still haven't made new friends, well maybe one, at my university (still hang out with my old high school friends) I will try to be more social this upcoming quarter that starts next week. I REALLY don't want to spend my 3 hour lunchbreak up in the fourth floor of the library playing on my laptop or reading a book... Last quarter I hung out with a girl i knew from a summer program i was in so it wasn't that bad... I just dont know HOW to make friends really. all the friends i have now approached me the first time. Maybe I will just get more involved at my school and join clubs or whatever.

Yeah same for me, I have friends sure. but They are not closeby.

The closest is My Best friend who lives in Ireland. and hardly even see him anymore! it's Sad really. I should make new friends in my town. It's been 5 years since the Big Move. Ah god I'm so lame.

I Don't tell them I have no friends here, I just make up some excuse. and hope they buy it.

When my last distant friend came over from SA, She asked what it was I do and where we could "hang out" I had a blank expression for a moment and then admitted to her I had no clue.

That was so embarrassing. you have no idea.

But as time has moved on, so Have I. I go out more than I used to and socialize with others. Still haven't made any friends yet. but that day will come, when I'm ready for it to.

I feel the same way. I was a library person too. No parties. Not get togethers even that much the last 2 1/2 yrs. How has it been for you to come out of your shell? It's my 1st year of college too and I'm not sure I'm doing too well in that category. It's hard :(

Ah that sucks, I was always a party goer/ basher! I loved to be the centre of attention. It was awesome to dance all night having no cares and waking up hung over. well at least I thought it was. when I hit 15 it all changed. it was a slow transition into teendom. and I won't forget my life prior to Acne. But I think It did me good to stop living that life-style though. I might have ended up an Alcoholic like my older Bro.

Sometimes bad stuff happens for a reason. and others' it makes No sense. :think:

Hey we still gotta be Positive though. and Bek,

I'm sorry you're having a hard time adjusting into 1st Year College life. I do truly hope you Best it. and Stuff what others say there! To me you're Great!

I'd enjoy your company if we were ever to meet someday.

Ooh, I can relate to some of the things you mentioned :(. I'm usually spending the lunch breaks drawing, or sitting with my phone, looking like I don't have time to chat (and I'm making sure my hair is covering my face). The friends I got since the acne came, took three years to get, since they almost always needed to approach me and "lead" the conversation (since I felt bad about talking face-to-face). I see now, that I could have had "real" friends, where I'm sure they don't care about how I look, I could have been to more parties (and something similar), hell, I could maybe even have had a boyfriend :(.

It doesn't make it easier that I was the only one who got acne (except for one other girl - she was my best friend, until she got clear skin and started hanging out with the "popular" girls).

And yes, buying products is really embaressing .... I feel like everyone is staring at me ><.

I had long hair too, that helped Loads! I was always considered an Emo at school. come to think of it. I probably was sorta. I wore dark clothing and My hair was Pitch black, Had my tongue pierced. so I can see why they thought that.

Ah the old "sorry I'm on the phone too busy to chat" excuse! yeah Priceless.

I know, my peers I was always surrounded by were all acne free and it took 2 years before they finally broke out. but it was so minor, by that time mine had already progressed. But like you. they approached me. suprisingly enough. If only I could have overcome my shyness and introversion in High School. I bet I'd have good, trust worthy friends now.

Like I said. taking One step at a time, I'll surely get there eventually.

My acne Has cleared up, but that does not mean I'm fine. or likely 2 Just go out and make friends very easily as before, It takes time and perseverance to get over and heal inwardly as well as on the outside. Anyway, it's Never to late to turn your life around! I know that I can beat this.

Never lose hope, and Don't give in to Depression. there Is way out from this seemingly bottomless pit you're stuck in right now. Good Luck Guys!

I Sincerely mean it!

=]

~The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one~

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Wow I posted this nearly 6 months ago? Time flies! Thanks for your kind words Durbaniter. My first year of college will be over in a few weeks! :D So far I have a 3.2 GPA so that's not so bad. I have made 2 good friends and we usually hang out during our breaks. Maybe we'll take some class together next year. And I am no longer feeling depressed. Still have my down moments but they dont last too long. as for my skin: I would say I'm about 95% clear. Now I just have to deal with red marks/PIH and a horrid skin tone.

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Wow I posted this nearly 6 months ago? Time flies! Thanks for your kind words Durbaniter. My first year of college will be over in a few weeks! :D So far I have a 3.2 GPA so that's not so bad. I have made 2 good friends and we usually hang out during our breaks. Maybe we'll take some class together next year. And I am no longer feeling depressed. Still have my down moments but they dont last too long. as for my skin: I would say I'm about 95% clear. Now I just have to deal with red marks/PIH and a horrid skin tone.

Ah Awesome!

I didn't even notice the date, lol

That's seriously Great news man!

I got some redness to deal with too. but someone said They cannot see it, so I dunno. maybe I'm just crazy. hah anyway. You take care man and I'm happy for you!

2 weeks Fly By so fast! and then you're on break eh?

Enjoy It!

;)

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I had long hair too, that helped Loads! I was always considered an Emo at school. come to think of it. I probably was sorta. I wore dark clothing and My hair was Pitch black, Had my tongue pierced. so I can see why they thought that.

Ah the old "sorry I'm on the phone too busy to chat" excuse! yeah Priceless.

I know, my peers I was always surrounded by were all acne free and it took 2 years before they finally broke out. but it was so minor, by that time mine had already progressed. But like you. they approached me. suprisingly enough. If only I could have overcome my shyness and introversion in High School. I bet I'd have good, trust worthy friends now.

Like I said. taking One step at a time, I'll surely get there eventually.

I've always wanted long hair :D (maybe it took so frigging long time to get it!). But yeah, it's quite unusual for boys. And actually, one of the most popular girls on my school, is Emo. And if you wore dark clothing in my school, no-one would notice, since black is very "in" at the moment. Hehe.

What I would prefer mostly, was if I could find one, who felt the same way as me and reacted in same way. It would make it so much easier to talk about, and it would also be easier to share experience and make "goals" (like, help each other not eating candy for a month).

And thanks! I know I'll get there, someday, somehow :).

My acne Has cleared up, but that does not mean I'm fine. or likely 2 Just go out and make friends very easily as before, It takes time and perseverance to get over and heal inwardly as well as on the outside. Anyway, it's Never to late to turn your life around! I know that I can beat this.

I understand :/. Even though the outside was a hard battle, the inside will probably be even harder. There are no medication or products for it. But the wound will be healed someday! And you willbeat it :D.

Never lose hope, and Don't give in to Depression. there Is way out from this seemingly bottomless pit you're stuck in right now. Good Luck Guys!

I Sincerely mean it!

~The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one~

Aaawww, this was so beautiful <'3.

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