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HDD208

Coming to my world's end

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I have been suffering from acne since I was 14 (I am now 23). When I saw those first pimples I ran to the pharmacy and tried everything they had to offer: clearsil, clean n clear, noxema, neterogena you name it if it was on the shelf I tried it at one time or another. Finding no success I then tried all the infomercial crap..Proactiv, Murad etc. Finally came the expensive dermatologist visits followed by their expensive prescription topicals: Finacea, Tarazoc, Differin, Duac, Retin A just to name a few. After I graduated from college things got really bad and I couldn't take it anymore. I have heard of accutane and its dangers but I was so desperate that I give it a try anyway. I was on accutane for 5 months with little improvement. I was shocked that it did not help me that much because I saw the amazing results it gave a lot of people on here. Also I developed a constipation problem while on accutane that really bothers me. So now I got that on top of still having acne. I am literally at my wits end. Accutane is the most powerful acne fighting drug out there and I feel like if that doesn't work for me nothing will. What is wrong with me? Why is my acne so resistant? Am I destined to look like a bag of skittles all my life? I have never been so unhappy.

Besides the usual anti social behavior and being afraid to go out and meet people I am getting depressed. This morning I woke up took one look in the mirror and broke down crying in fact I am still crying as I am typing this. I hate myself. I hate my face. I hate everything about me. I am not suicidal but sometimes I do think death will be better than this existence. I am soooo exhausted this battle is killing me and sucking the life out of me. It has been close to a 10 year fight with acne and I am losing badly and do not know what else to do. No one understands unless they are in the same boat. People are like have u tried this or done that. Yes and its not that simple. If accutane doesn't work on me let's be real here. Sometimes I feel like I need a miracle to just have what other people have and take for granted..clear skin

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Hey,,,

Its easy to tell i know how you feel while i dont but what i know is even if accutane is the most powerful drug available it might not work for you.. Its not like it works for everyone... Maybe a less powerful drug might help you... Its all about not losing hope.. acne is not that easy to deal with but still moving on to something else if it doesnt work is the best option here...It might seem hopeless for now.. But remember you will clear up your acne by some other treatment that you haven't tried.. and about the suicidal thoughts... Easiest way to solve your problems is death i agree but whats the point in doing that even thought you would have solved your problem you wouldn't be here to see it anyways... You will miss out a lot which you can never get back... anyway Have you tried Dan's regimen??

Edited by Adi_Nayak

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Hi,

In your list of treatments you've tried, I didn't see the Regimen included. Have you tried Dan's Regimen? Please read my blog to read more about my experience with it. I agree with one of the other replies to your post that the key is to not lose hope.

My blog is Girls/Women with Acne.

I have been suffering from acne since I was 14 (I am now 23). When I saw those first pimples I ran to the pharmacy and tried everything they had to offer: clearsil, clean n clear, noxema, neterogena you name it if it was on the shelf I tried it at one time or another. Finding no success I then tried all the infomercial crap..Proactiv, Murad etc. Finally came the expensive dermatologist visits followed by their expensive prescription topicals: Finacea, Tarazoc, Differin, Duac, Retin A just to name a few. After I graduated from college things got really bad and I couldn't take it anymore. I have heard of accutane and its dangers but I was so desperate that I give it a try anyway. I was on accutane for 5 months with little improvement. I was shocked that it did not help me that much because I saw the amazing results it gave a lot of people on here. Also I developed a constipation problem while on accutane that really bothers me. So now I got that on top of still having acne. I am literally at my wits end. Accutane is the most powerful acne fighting drug out there and I feel like if that doesn't work for me nothing will. What is wrong with me? Why is my acne so resistant? Am I destined to look like a bag of skittles all my life? I have never been so unhappy.

Besides the usual anti social behavior and being afraid to go out and meet people I am getting depressed. This morning I woke up took one look in the mirror and broke down crying in fact I am still crying as I am typing this. I hate myself. I hate my face. I hate everything about me. I am not suicidal but sometimes I do think death will be better than this existence. I am soooo exhausted this battle is killing me and sucking the life out of me. It has been close to a 10 year fight with acne and I am losing badly and do not know what else to do. No one understands unless they are in the same boat. People are like have u tried this or done that. Yes and its not that simple. If accutane doesn't work on me let's be real here. Sometimes I feel like I need a miracle to just have what other people have and take for granted..clear skin

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I have been suffering from acne since I was 14 (I am now 23). When I saw those first pimples I ran to the pharmacy and tried everything they had to offer: clearsil, clean n clear, noxema, neterogena you name it if it was on the shelf I tried it at one time or another. Finding no success I then tried all the infomercial crap..Proactiv, Murad etc. Finally came the expensive dermatologist visits followed by their expensive prescription topicals: Finacea, Tarazoc, Differin, Duac, Retin A just to name a few. After I graduated from college things got really bad and I couldn't take it anymore. I have heard of accutane and its dangers but I was so desperate that I give it a try anyway. I was on accutane for 5 months with little improvement. I was shocked that it did not help me that much because I saw the amazing results it gave a lot of people on here. Also I developed a constipation problem while on accutane that really bothers me. So now I got that on top of still having acne. I am literally at my wits end. Accutane is the most powerful acne fighting drug out there and I feel like if that doesn't work for me nothing will. What is wrong with me? Why is my acne so resistant? Am I destined to look like a bag of skittles all my life? I have never been so unhappy.

Besides the usual anti social behavior and being afraid to go out and meet people I am getting depressed. This morning I woke up took one look in the mirror and broke down crying in fact I am still crying as I am typing this. I hate myself. I hate my face. I hate everything about me. I am not suicidal but sometimes I do think death will be better than this existence. I am soooo exhausted this battle is killing me and sucking the life out of me. It has been close to a 10 year fight with acne and I am losing badly and do not know what else to do. No one understands unless they are in the same boat. People are like have u tried this or done that. Yes and its not that simple. If accutane doesn't work on me let's be real here. Sometimes I feel like I need a miracle to just have what other people have and take for granted..clear skin

Man i really feel for you and it felt like i wrote this with the exception of taking accuatane, i myself am at my wits end with trying everything and my chin acne will never ever go away. It looks like someone takes a car cigerette lighter to it, fn awful. I went to walmart today to grab a few acne things and i am always constantly trying to avoid people, dodging them in aisles turning the other way, its sad and pathetic and i was NEVER like this before.

I was going to go the grocery afterwards but this main nodular cyst thats there right now the more i looked at it on the way the more disgusted i felt and i said fuck it not today i will go later this week. I just couldnt take it, and i got to go to work tomorrow morning with it, but hell im sure everyone is use to me looking like shit anyway with shit growing on my chin so dont care bout it as much.

I too have cried numerous times from looking into the mirror, i visited my mom for christmas and we had a long talk about it, and i could hardly speak about what i go through everyday of my life with her because of how emotional i get about it, i couldnt talk sometimes, it hurts! So i really know how you feel and i know most others in here do too. It is really hard not to think about it and move on when you see so many others clear as a whistle and especially if you were clear yourself once before acne set in. The worse thing than having acne is not being able to figure out WHY and WHAT is causing it, that is really what grinds my gears.

I havent been happy in a very long time and i know i will never be until i one day find out what is really going on and i am able to cure myself. I told my mom today that i think i am doomed with it for the rest of my life. I am 29 years old too which makes it worse for me.

Well i just wanted to emphasize your def not alone in this, there are a lot of us that feel the very exact same way;) Good luck to you and all of us!

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Keep looking for answers. Something should work for you.Don't give up am sure you will find something. What have you tryed? Maybe light treatmeant might help.

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it can all turn around. you have to believe that.

from 2005 til around the turn on 2008 my life was in the gutter. very depressed,absolutely no life, keeping myself away from everyone due to embarrassment. but things changed for me,somehow. and sadly the previous years of depression were all 100% down to acne. i didnt believe at the time for one second that i could ever enjoy my life again,but it can happen.

if having clear skin is what will make you happy then you have to hold onto the thought that it WILL clear up. keep trying whatever means you can to make it go away,it will all be worth it.

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Thank you all for your support it really means a lot to know I am not the only one going through this and it is difficult to maintain hope sometimes even though it is so critical. Many of you suggested Dan's Regiment; my skin is so senstive and if I pack on that much BP on it, it gets sooo dry, flaky and irriated. Plus BP never really helped me all that much either. I am going back to my derm this weekend hopefully she can help me get clear...I don't know.

JayQ I feel your pain sooo much. I never met you yet I feel like I know you. I am sorry that you have to go through this and I will pray that you can clear up nicely.

AdamDolce10:

I eat a pretty healthy diet. I am a vegeterian I don't eat any junk food, everything I consume is usually home cooked and freshly prepared. I eat way better than most people who have better skin than me. In fact if this was true everyone standing in line at McDonalds should be all broken out..in fact the majority of the American population should be covered with acne. Do not assume that diet alone causes acne because a lot of people out there have a very bad diet and still have clear skin and vice versa. It is true that diet can play a part of it but it is usually not the whole picture. Acne is caused by many things we can't control...genetics, hormones, etc. In fact no one really knows what causes acne and we are just assuming. But do not accuse people of having terrible diets and that's why they have acne. It is not always that easy to control acne by just simply watching what you eat.

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I know how it feels to have an acne, and it really sucks! You can't help but to stay inside the house because you're shy to show your face. Anyway, is it really severe? Some people here are shallow and think of their acne as severe, even it's not that bad.. I hope you uploaded some pictures of yours for me to see how severe your acne is. And also, try not to think of it because I think it's also psychological. You know when I was second year high school, I had pimples on my face that time; but when I started not thinking of it, it was almost gone.. But now, my pimples are coming back-- it's maybe because of puberty.

Edited by darrellbl9

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"I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying"

We are in the same boat my friend. Same age, and battling acne for 10 years.

All I can say is, Yea, I have regrets because I took the wrong approaches and took the short cuts, which ultimately made my acne WROSE. but man I am still not giving up.

Look for a natural, holistic way to cure your acne.. it's the only way! Don't mask your face with medicine or topicals.. Something is wrong with your body inside, which is causing your acne.

I am just as frustrated as you, but hold on.. but it's not about the results, but the journey

Edited by recoverme

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darrellbl9:

All the pictures that I have saved are the ones which shows me with decent skin. Ever since I have been breaking out like crazy I don't want to take pics I just want to hide my face. But I will be honest it's not too severe but it is very noticeable and it leaves a lot of scarring. I get breakouts daily and they take a while to go away and when they do go away it leaves scars. Thus far my skin has been getting worse even after taking accutane and I don't know what it is.

recoverme

I do believe your right. There has to be something wrong with me. But what? I visited doctors, derms, they haven't found anything. I take care of myself, eat right, take vitamins, drink lots of water etc. I try to do anything that is good for your health/body and sometimes I look ok and then bam!! flare ups. I am just so tired of it all. I never look good anymore because even if I don't have a shitload of pimples I have red marks and scars. I refuse to go out except to work. I have lost all my friends. Worst part is recently I met a really nice guy and I am afraid to spend time with him because I am scared of my acne. I am going to end up pushing him away all because of my acne! But everyone is right. I can't let this control my life. I need to find a way to still enjoy my life and do what I want to do...I just don't know how. Everyone is always like "don't let your acne stop you from having a life, no one cares about your acne" and it doesn't matter how true those things are you still feel like shit and it doesn't matter how much you try to bring yourself to have life and enjoy things...it is very hard. People don't understand that I don't want to be this way...I hate being this way..but I don't know how to get out of it.

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I have been suffering from acne since I was 14 (I am now 23). When I saw those first pimples I ran to the pharmacy and tried everything they had to offer: clearsil, clean n clear, noxema, neterogena you name it if it was on the shelf I tried it at one time or another.

These products will usually only treat the mildest cases of acne. They're marketing, not medication.

Finding no success I then tried all the infomercial crap..Proactiv, Murad etc.

Same as above

Finally came the expensive dermatologist visits followed by their expensive prescription topicals: Finacea, Tarazoc, Differin, Duac, Retin A just to name a few.

You didn't mention any oral antibiotics among past treatments. While they don't treat non-inflammatory acne, your doctor should be able to find one for you that will clear any papules and pustules (and quite quickly, in many cases). Topical retinoids often aren't enough to clear existing acne, but once clear, they can be helpful for maintenance. Still, they don't work for everyone. You might just have a very severe case.

After I graduated from college things got really bad and I couldn't take it anymore. I have heard of accutane and its dangers but I was so desperate that I give it a try anyway. I was on accutane for 5 months with little improvement. I was shocked that it did not help me that much because I saw the amazing results it gave a lot of people on here. Also I developed a constipation problem while on accutane that really bothers me. So now I got that on top of still having acne. I am literally at my wits end. Accutane is the most powerful acne fighting drug out there and I feel like if that doesn't work for me nothing will. What is wrong with me? Why is my acne so resistant? Am I destined to look like a bag of skittles all my life? I have never been so unhappy.

Was this accutane prescribed by a dermatologist, or ordered online? And did you experience any of the side effects? You might just need another course.

Besides the usual anti social behavior and being afraid to go out and meet people I am getting depressed. This morning I woke up took one look in the mirror and broke down crying in fact I am still crying as I am typing this. I hate myself. I hate my face. I hate everything about me. I am not suicidal but sometimes I do think death will be better than this existence. I am soooo exhausted this battle is killing me and sucking the life out of me. It has been close to a 10 year fight with acne and I am losing badly and do not know what else to do. No one understands unless they are in the same boat. People are like have u tried this or done that. Yes and its not that simple. If accutane doesn't work on me let's be real here. Sometimes I feel like I need a miracle to just have what other people have and take for granted..clear skin

Please see a dermatologist, and make sure your patient history is faxed over before you go. You don't need a "miracle," just a doctor and between 3 and 6 months of treatment. There is no reason you can't have clear skin; acne infections are a medical condition. Hang in there!!

Good luck.

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Hi William Thanks for your input.

At the time when I tried the OTC and infomercial products I didn't know what I know now. Back then as a teen you're just looking to clear up some pimples and willing to buy whatever you hear works. But after years of struggle I know OTC/infomerical products don't really work. You're right its all just marketing.

I did take oral antibiotics (I was on 2 forms) and stopped when I got on accutane. My accutane was perscribed by a dermatologist and I had to go in monthly for those blood tests. Accutane is a highly regulated drug in the U.S. and you need to get it only from a dermatologist, do Ipledge and get blood tests. I had very mild side effects...except for one thing: It gave me reallly and I mean reallyyyyyy bad constipation. It wasn't just mild discomfort in the bathroom but brutally painful and sometimes there was even blood present. Anyway I hung in there for 5 months and yea...still breaking out don't look that much better before I went on this stupid drug. In fact I think I look worse. For the first 3 months I broke out a lot on accutane and the worse thing about accutane is that it increases your chance of scarring. Accutane itself does not cause scarring but because it can make you break out when you intially start taking it, it can end up creating more scars on the skin. Unfortunately this happend to me.

Ah, the things we will do for clear skin. I visited a number of doctors/dermatologist (in fact it was them who put me on accutane to begin with) and I thank all of you for trying to give me some hope here but I feel like at this point there isn't much else that I haven't tried out there. However, I refuse to submit to this condition for the rest of my life. I really, desperately need to find something that will work.

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I heard that taking accutane can cause initial breakouts, and it's just temporary.. They said that it usually occurs in the 3rd month. I have scars, too.. But, I think it will just go away.. Like what I said to you, my pimples and scars were gone when I was second year high school. I didn't put anything on it, huh. I think it's gone after 2 months. Did you know that taking accutane can cause depression and suicidal threats? I heard a lot from this drug.. Good thing here is I'm not taking any drugs, cleansers, etc. to make my face clear; my face is just getting better when I stopped putting cleansers on my face, and my acne is like mild to moderate. And also, nothing is permanent.. :)

Edited by darrellbl9

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Darrell

I am glad your skin is getting better. Yes, I know all about the side effects of accutane and I was so desperate I was willing to risk it for clear skin. Unfortunately I didn't work out so well and now I have acne + scars+ side effects. Accutane is a miracle drug for some and it doesn't work that well for others..its basically a gamble but I don't recommend trying it until you have completely maxed out all other options. Acccutane is really intense and can cause a lot of harm too.

So I visited my derm yesterday after 5 months of accutane. I was suppose to be on it for 6 months..skin is nowhere near clear I am still breaking out and worse of all I have severe constipation problems. So we agreed I am going to come off it. However, now i have to wait a month until it clears out of my system before I can take anything else. I am so scared that I am going to breakout like crazy without being on anything... :(

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HDD208

Could you share with us the details of your accutane regime? It could help us understand better and give suggestions as to why it didn't help.

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Some people continue to break out until the very end of their Accutane course yet still get clear skin as a result. You may just need a higher dose and or a longer course.

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I did take oral antibiotics (I was on 2 forms) and stopped when I got on accutane.

Which ones? The cycline group antibiotics (doxycycline, minocycline) are relatively narrow-spectrum and have generally milder side effects than other antibiotics, but they aren't the last line of treatment; many acne strains are resistant to these oft-prescribed medications.

A dermatologist, knowing your history of accutane-intolerance, might put you on trimethoprim-sulfamethoxazole, a more serious antibiotic (with a range of risks and drawbacks, but also serious rewards).

My accutane was perscribed by a dermatologist and I had to go in monthly for those blood tests. Accutane is a highly regulated drug in the U.S. and you need to get it only from a dermatologist, do Ipledge and get blood tests. I had very mild side effects...except for one thing: It gave me reallly and I mean reallyyyyyy bad constipation. It wasn't just mild discomfort in the bathroom but brutally painful and sometimes there was even blood present. Anyway I hung in there for 5 months and yea...still breaking out don't look that much better before I went on this stupid drug. In fact I think I look worse. For the first 3 months I broke out a lot on accutane and the worse thing about accutane is that it increases your chance of scarring. Accutane itself does not cause scarring but because it can make you break out when you intially start taking it, it can end up creating more scars on the skin. Unfortunately this happend to me.

What did the doctor say when you told him/her about the constipation? Is that why they pulled you off the accutane after 5 months? Or did they believe that the medication had resolved the problem? Low-dose, long-term accutane therapy might be a potential alternative in your case. Is your oil production significantly reduced compared to when you began the medication?

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