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hello, new year!

haha. hey there. so i'm anna. 15, 5'7". i keep seeing numbers like 128 pounds and 150 pounds or something - lemme tell you, i'm nowhere near that. i weigh enough to be proud of what i am. (:

so since i was 12 i've been battling acne like crazy. i've tried all sorts of products that obviously didn't work - clinique, clinique acne solutions, philosophy anti-acne products, clean & clear, neutrogena, biore, etc. etc. etc., along with dozens of home remedies that were so moronic to try using that it makes me all squinty just thinking about what i've tried. :sick: i was gonna try murad, but guess what? like right after i ordered it for it to ship to my house, i did some more research...not fun stuff. most of the users who used it had combination skin like mine, and then their skin would turn so gross and red and icky that it would take months for it to return back to its normal self. no thank you!! :hand:

living in a dry-ish place like ames iowa isn't exactly something that helps, either. in the winter it gets so incredibly cold that when i walk outside like..the stuff inside my nose freezes every time i breathe in. and since winter's going to last a good four to five months, i'mma have to moisturize like craaaazy.

school's starting up again in two days, but i guess that isn't really important compared to the million jillion things that've been on my mind lately. i really want to get rid of this acne - it's killing my self confidence and makes me flinch whenever i look in a mirror. i'm stuck in the kind of school where university professors' daughters and sons go to and they have the flawless skin and the perfect hair. and here i am, sticking out like a sore thumb with my super curly red hair and acne.

(psssst, i kind of love my hair the way it is, but it's fun to leave people making images in their heads on what i look like. ;) )

but yeah. i'm originally from jerusalem, israel, and my parents are from russia. (former soviet union. yikes, big scary russian man for a dad. :confused: ) we moved here when i was like six or sommat and after moving all over the united states, i'm stuck in...ames. the one place where every. single. PERSON. manages to have clear skin. everyone but me. it feels like i'm from a different planet. and i know looks can definitely be deceiving, but i'm honestly sick of having that term being applied to me of all people. i want to be natural, i want to love myself the way i am...but it's incredibly hard, when you feel like you're the only one who has to cake on makeup to look like you don't have skittles all over your face or that you have to style your hair with sidebangs to hide the horn (aka zit) growing out of your forehead. hopefully i can get rid of acne once and for all with my own personalized regiment. eventually once i return murad and get my money back, i'm going to order dan's 2.5% BP treatment and combine it with the things i already use. :angel: wish me luck!

i come from a family of people that have bad, oily skin to begin with (gee, thanks mam and pap) and for some reason i'm the one person who has oily AND dry skin. almost like..at the same time. what the heck? :wacko: i really want to find some perfect balance of the products that have sorta worked for me and combine them into this Frankenstein-type-regiment that i'll be able to use. after all, my skin's obviously not the same type as the people who were originally tested on with the products before the companies started selling them, right?

i'm already 'dieting' as it is (uh, note to self: it's not actually a diet. that's such an ugly, over-used word. it's a lifestyle change to eat healthier foods, that's what. i can dooo this.) i'm no vegetarian, and i don't plan on changing that or giving up dairy for this. and kosher? what's kosher? yeeeeah, so you'd assume that since i'm from jerusalem and my mam's a jew that i'd be sticking to that kind of thing. little do you know that i'm eating a pork eggroll right now.

that sounds pretty piggy, right? :|

to be honest, i know that if i eat healthier, things WILL improve. simple, ja? NEIN. the problem is simply this little equation:

me + food = omgomgomgyesssss

yeah. it's a pretty big deal. like...harps-and-weeping-angels big deal.

another problem with me is that i touch my face. casually, one finger. kind of just like brushing my hair back. then another. then another. next thing you know, i'm propping my head up on my hand, my dirty fingers tap-tap-tapping away on my skin. great. fantastic. you go, girl.

annnnd i suppose i should list what i use? haha. so far, i use:


Biore Anti-Acne Ice Wash

Clinique Acne Solutions Cleanser

Clinique Moisture Surge Gel

Benefit Eraser Concealer

Benefit Bene-tint brush cheek stain

Dr. Feel-Good invisible powder

Evian Facial Spray

Burt's Bees pomegranate lip balm (♥)


Biore Anti-Acne Ice Wash

Clinique Acne Solutions Cleanser

Clinique Moisture Surge Gel

by now, i'm pretty sure that i'mma add in dan's BP solution into my routine. it should be better than murad, at least, so i know that i won't have to wait four months for my face to get back to the already terrible state it's in now. :rolleyes:

so uh, yeah.

what else about me?


i like modest mouse.

the colour yellow.

and i can't cook, but i absolutely love food. <3

xoxo-- anna. nice to meet you, strangerrr.

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DAY 0:

so i've got a big bump on my chin, right below the place that people can see. sounds pretty good since nobody can stare at it, right?

wrong. i can still feel it. oh man. :confused:

i'm really, really trying not to pick at it. i wish i could say i was one of those people that firmly believed that touching your face is terrible, and that it's okay to leave it alone.

no such luck for me. most of my scars, in fact, are caused by me and my fingernails. ): poo.

other than that, i've got a couple of ickly brown scab dealies on the left side of my face, and one small but painful flesh-coloured bump that's sitting righhht on my cheekbone. not to mention the large amount of blackheads on my nosey.

fhsdjkfhsdjkfhks i feel helpless right now. and my skin feels soooo dry!! it's -6 F outside. :snooty: way, way, wayyy too cold.


i got me a haircut today! :angel: just a trim, but it's seriously loads better than the dead tree branches (ahem, my hair) sticking out of my head. and i dyed it reeeed again. really brings out the blush in my...acne. gee. very smart.

more later~

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DAY 1:

hey everyone! :D

so i finally got my mam to send murad back today. pretty good, considering the fact that i still need to convince her to get dan's acne regiment. i'm absolutely sure that this is my solution - i mean, my skin isn't THAT bad, and people with much worse problems on here have come out with amazingly flawless skin!! woo, i'm excited just typing it out~

so school starts tomorrow. :( pooey.

blah. the chin thingy from yesterday scabbed over and made this nice big brown spot on my face that everyone can see unless i like duck my head down or something. yay, so now all i need to do is to look constantly shy or like there's something really interesting on the ground and my acne problem is solved for the moment. :wall:

so anyhow!

lololol i watched the pink panther 2 yesterday~ and guess what they mentioned in the shampoo? JOJOBA OIL! i was like 'lolwuttt?'

hopefully more later. gotta get this biology graph done before tomorrow. :sick: icky icky.

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try using less things. irritation can cause more problems. plus washing your face with a lot things or using a lot of products on your face can cause dryness. dans moisturizer is amazing. it might be shiny when applied but definitely does not break you out.

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def. a good read! seems like a very skilled writer, not a 15 yr old girl. You should stick with writing...you tell a great story.

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DAY 5:

oh gosh. i really haven't been a good person with keeping up with this, have i.

so today the mother of all zits cropped straight up on my forehead, right below my hairline. and here i was, thinking that my childhood dream of becoming a unicorn wouldn't happen. :confused: thank god my bangs covered it up.

so what i've noticed is that my skin is SO DRY that i've given up entirely on trying to use the clinique cleanser with my biore. it stings, it aches, and it's downright mean on my skin. so instead, i just spend extra time moisturizing.


you know how dry areas are usually around the mouth and right next to your nostrils? WELL, I HAVE A SOLUTION. it's actually quite simple and doesn't seem to clog my pores. :) so all you do is take your favourite chapstick, use a paper towel to wipe off the bacteria from the top layer where it came in contact with your lips, and apply it to the dry parts! simple and easy. it's made my skin sooo soft.

not much other than that. it's been a slow day, but good thing that school's cancelled tomorrow due to it being iowa and for some reason arctic at the same time. but final exams are coming up, and goshhh, i need to whip my tush into gear.

psst. i'm having a really good day for no reason. i like it. c:

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DAY 6:

not much difference with my forehead, other than that the zit's gone from a super raised bump to more of a flat dealie. the rest of my face actually felt super smooth today (cheeks, woo!) and it actually felt /good/ to moisturize it. like, if my fingers could be happy, they would be pretty much dancing all around my face. :D

one thing i need to keep remembering: DO NOT PICK.

so like if i pick at just a bump, chances are i'll pop it, but then the resulting scab thing is terrible to try to cover up and it looks like my entire face got frozen and then microwaved. :sick: i really, really need to restrict to like picking...at the miscellanious threads on the fabric on my clothing or something. every single time i feel the urge, i swear i'll just like start typing up a story or something.

not much else to say today. i'mma go to a friend's haus to study for finals and my german speech that i'm going to have to give on monday. e_e ugh. then after that, i'm pretty sure i'm going to draw or something to take my mind off of my face.

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DAY 7:

today is not such a good day.

for some reason there's a long scratch on the tip of my nose that wasn't there a couple of days ago, and bam, there it is. thank god for makeup. i don't exactly feel spectacular. i know it's unrelated and probably stupid to even post it here, but along with my acne, my dad's been calling me fat and big and a pig and it's really not helping with anything. when i'm upset, i eat without even realizing it, and that probably also contributes to my acne. i hate this even more and it makes me really self-loathing. i just want to curl up in a ball and stare at a spot on the ceiling for the rest of the day and wallow around in self pity for some reason, but i need to pull myself together and study for finals.

): sorry that it was unrelated and pointless. it feels better to put it into words. more later.

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DAY 9:

i feel loads better today!

i have a couple of zits clumped together (ew :c) on the side of my forehead, but it's easily covered up by my bangs. and...there's this weird little just-above-the-lip pimple that's driving me nuts. i want to pick at it SO BADLY. must refrain, otherwise i'll have a pizza face for sure.

i'm really excited though, because i can most definitely see improvement. i should post pictures up for sure! (: that way, i can keep track of my skin and see what works and really what doesn't. same routine as before, though this time minus the cleanser. i'm really really excited for the ~date~ with my special friend on thursday. after exams, i get to go to lunch with him. jimmy john's, woooo~

more later! (: thanks for reading.

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