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This thread is annoying and shows the degeneration of both society and human values.

It also shows there's lots of people who think they know it all, and all they say is what's "proper". Get this: you are nobody to tell others what's good and what's bad. Let people enjoy their lives the best way they can.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion and to voice it within reason with civility. What they are *not* permitted to do is to be rude or *force* their opinions on others.

It's not intolerant to believe differently. It *is* intolerant to try to shut down those with an opposing opinion. It's also called a straw man agrument when you don't refute the position, but point to alleged "intolerance" instead.

Exactly what is there to refute when a user "voices his opinion" that way? It's obvious that he/she thinks that HIS/HER values are the correct ones... and ppl who don't agree with that are decadent and represent the decay of society. Gimme a break. First of all, there's no such thing as a list of values we should all abide by. Second, since there's no such list, everybody can have a different list of values. So in consequence, people needn't bash others with such cr*ap as "hey, this thread shows how decadent society has become".

That's all I intended to say with my reply, sorry if it was rude, but these people sometimes need to open their eyes and see that we're all different and we don't like being told what's right/wrong, because it simply may not be true.

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Exactly what is there to refute when a user "voices his opinion" that way? It's obvious that he/she thinks that HIS/HER values are the correct ones...

EVERYONE thinks his/her/values are the correct ones. That's why they're called *beliefs*. You refute it by stating *your* beliefs, then supporting or evidencing them.

...and ppl who don't agree with that are decadent and represent the decay of society. Gimme a break.

It's an opinion. Get over it. I don't believe anyone was referenced. The comments reflected an opinion about the topic/thread. Perhaps you read too much into it and took it personally.

First of all, there's no such thing as a list of values we should all abide by.

A lot of people would disagree with that. Let's see...the 10 Commandments, the Torah, the Bible, the Koran, the Book of Mormon...I'm sure there are Buddhist texts, Shinto, Daoist...

Second, since there's no such list,

Wrong. See above.

...everybody can have a different list of values.

Yep. That's exactly my point. Thanks for making it.

So in consequence, people needn't bash others with such cr*ap as "hey, this thread shows how decadent society has become".

No "bashing" noted, just a opposing view.

That's all I intended to say with my reply, sorry if it was rude, but these people...

THESE PEOPLE? Hmm...now who is being intolerant?

...sometimes need to open their eyes and see that we're all different

Again, thanks for making my point. You're getting it now.

... and we don't like being told what's right/wrong,

Ah...now we're getting somewhere...

...because it simply may not be true.

Or maybe it is. Who is to say?

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I must say it's disappointing to see how the mods are acting in this thread, you both appear to just be inciting multiple arguments via subtle baiting which is completely unnecessary...

To the OP the solution is people. There are genuine, caring people out there who don't act at all like the girls you describe. Through experience I have found that physical appearance really is quite a small part in the overall package when it comes to relationships with women. I know it's a stereotype, but it is incredibly accurate.

I'm not going to attack you in regards to your attitude, because not only do I know how frustrating this condition can be, I also know you came here looking to vent not to be preached to. Plus I feel you wouldn't feel this way if you didn't have this devastating condition to deal with. In other words, it's a phase. A phase you will get over.

Take care and hang in there.

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Well, that's your opinion and you're entitled to it; however, when accusations of "bashing" are made, I'm compelled to elaborate on exactly what bashing is and relate it to what the parameters for expected/tolerated behaviours on *this* board. Much like defining what trolling, harrassment or stalking might be. I think it's important to be transparent and most people function most effectively within systems where the parameters are clearly defined.

And FWIW, I appreciate your use of the word subtle. It's not often that one is used to describe me. I must be getting mellow as I age.

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the truth is at a party like that, you know that people are there to check people out and get potential dates or get hooked up.. appearances are important. No use denying that..girls also face similar pressure or more even, they don't just need clear skin.

And it's rude of the girls to make gestures like that, even if I'm not attracted to the guy I'd be polite. Rejection makes you stronger. I've seen girls with guys with tons of acnes, and the girls have clear skin. It's not that uncommon...

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I think that the problem here is not your acne...but the affect that acne has on you.

If you're thinking all the time: Gee, it's cuz of acne!, yes, in this case you're gonna be sure that acne is all that matters.

I mean, maybe you should think about yourself and how you act when you're with ppl.

if you go out with that thought: i have acne, i have acne, i'm ugly,etc.; others will feel the negative energy and also they will feel this rejection from you! because you want to protect yourself from being rejected, you reject others before they can do this to you.

you can act this way, not even knowing. the gestures, the moving, the eypressions...these things create an atmosphere around you.ppl can quickly find out whether the atmosphere is positive or negative.

the only solution here is forgeting about you having acne. the place where you can think about it, is at home. i know, sounds crazy, but it is somehow unfair to the ppl around you to be burdened from your personal problem. it's not good for you, neither for them. they have problems too, believe me, but they're not visible. maybe even worse problems...

when a person is not thinking about his/her problems, it shows. SOOO much. the attitude changes completely.

i know it's hard, but it's just the way it is.

when my mum was once sick of me always talking about acne, she said to me: the world is not turning around your acne!! get over it!!!! I know, it was kind of rough, but IT HELPED ME, cuz i realized that not every person looks at my acne all the time. i mean, this is rediculous!

the cure for your acne is out there, you just have to find it!

Good luck! :D

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Only weak people need love.

Really? :think:

Deep down I think everyone wants someone to love.. then again, I'm not one to generalize.

Plus "love" is broad in this statement. Love can come from family, too. Friends even. I don't think it's weak to want to be loved by anyone.

Edited by Ḻyssa
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Well, that's your opinion and you're entitled to it; however, when accusations of "bashing" are made, I'm compelled to elaborate on exactly what bashing is and relate it to what the parameters for expected/tolerated behaviours on *this* board. Much like defining what trolling, harrassment or stalking might be. I think it's important to be transparent and most people function most effectively within systems where the parameters are clearly defined.

And FWIW, I appreciate your use of the word subtle. It's not often that one is used to describe me. I must be getting mellow as I age.

Maybe even subtle is a bit harsh, I guess I'm just of the opinion that everyone should support each other even if their words may be potentially unsettling to some, after-all we do get into a very heated state of mind when we're upset. I know the mods do a great job here, I don't post particularly often as I find I usually don't have anything much to contribute, but I have lurked for a number of years and you guys certainly deal with things in a proper manner. Maybe as a resolution for 2010 I'll decide to be more active in posting.

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I dont think looks are the most inportant thing. First inpression when somebody sees you it is. She will be less interested in you as in other guys. Then when you are funny and confident about yourself. You might make up for it.

I dont know where you try to meet girls. But i think in clubs is not the best place if your looks arent that good. Also when your dancemoves arent that good :P when girls our out they dont want to meet guys for a relationship. They want to have some fun.

I think its your best chance if you aprouch women in daylight (weird sentence xD). Maybe some that you already know. Someone from school or work.

Also be confident. Try to manage your movements. Sound confident and look confident. Have a nice conversation.

When at a party girls only care about looks.

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I dont think looks are the most inportant thing. First inpression when somebody sees you it is. She will be less interested in you as in other guys. Then when you are funny and confident about yourself. You might make up for it.

I dont know where you try to meet girls. But i think in clubs is not the best place if your looks arent that good. Also when your dancemoves arent that good :P when girls our out they dont want to meet guys for a relationship. They want to have some fun.

I think its your best chance if you aprouch women in daylight (weird sentence xD). Maybe some that you already know. Someone from school or work.

Also be confident. Try to manage your movements. Sound confident and look confident. Have a nice conversation.

When at a party girls only care about looks.

I have found this to be true. I know that im no Brad Pitt, but im not unattractive. I get more attention from girls that I know than those that I don't. I've been friends with all of my girlfriends for a period of time before, where they have got to know me. They were all attracted to me when they first met me, but only wanted to take it somewhere once finding out more about me.

Clubs etc are terrible if you are looking for a relationship. It's likely that any girl you meet and maybe kiss is based on looks, alcohol, a want for a bit of fun etc. Of course there are exceptions though.

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Bars are better, still people you vaguly (how to write this word) know are better as strangers. Because strangers have 0% interest in you for the first time.

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i didnt read all of the posts but some people on here are just as shallow as the people that they hate so much. people can see beyond acne and scars. looks are definitely not the only thing that determines if you compatible with another. there are many different other things.

and one person said that looks have determined their mates for millions of years. well guess what. we are humans. more evolved and a higher intelligence than the animals below us. we do differently: culture, language, behavior, etc...these things can determine what mate you attract.

on the downside: looks definitely matter to some extent

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I love the big, bad, pompous moderators and how they police around the boards showing everyone who's boss, putting boots up asses and threatening people left and right. "Ohhh, be nice and play nice or else I'm going to denigrate, patronize, and/or turn your words around to make you feel like shit with my sarcastic, witty remarks!!"

Sounds like double standards to me! Fucking hypocrites. I hate hypocrites. I only show respect where respect is given.

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To the original poster :

1. What you have done in this thread is detrimental to clear skin. Stressing about something like this in an online forum is... a waste of time.

2. You definitely come off as an angry person. I do sense a good deal of intelligence in your posts, but all of that intelligence gets lost as your posts are just riddled with anger. I get it, you got rejected, and that sucks. It makes you think that whichever female rejected you is lower than life. You want to make that person feel the way you do every day but they just don't get it.

3. Coming from someone who has suffered from acne for 10 years, I get it. I was pissed off every freaking day of my life due to this stupid cosmetic "defect." What society considers gross, is a blemish. Society wants smooth, rounded, clean fenders with no dents. It costs a lot of money to strip, fill, and paint a damaged bumper, and even more money to get rid of acne scars. I'm going to go out on a limb and say you are pissed off because of your acne, and it reflects in your postings. You basically want to curse all women but what you really want to curse is your acne.

4. Acne-ridden males every day are getting women. Acne is not your weakness. Perhaps it might be a root cause of your weakness (anger...). You will not get anywhere unless you are honest about it. Be candid, and show your truth-telling side. If this does not get women to talk to you, then you are hanging out with the wrong type of women. *moderator edit*

5. Do you respond to all of your problems with this kind of unproductive anger? Seriously, just don't run into these situations.

6. I have a theory that excessive anger can lead to acne. Perhaps it even has something to do with testosterone.

Just relax and take it easy. Do whatever it takes to get that anger under wraps... I wish you luck in clearing up your skin. Just keep telling yourself that if you get clear, you will be not be an angry *moderator edit*, and approach this problem in a logical manner. Find an alternative way to act.

Edited by jarrit
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I skimmed through the posts. I would like to add my 2 cents.

Looks matter. Tell yourself/keep preaching otherwise, but the fact of the matter is, vanity is real. You may ask, "How can something be so absolute ?". Well take a look at the entertainment industry how many people in the entertainment industry have acne ? Think of your ideal mate. Is your ideal mate severely overweight ? Finally, if looks didn't matter would we be spending hundreds of dollars annually fixing our perceived imperfections ?

There you go looks matter.

I hope every one becomes clear.

Unfortunately perfection is perceived by how much you make a year, how will you fit in your clothes, how bright your smile is, and how young your skin looks.

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just use the D.E.N.N.I.S system

Hahaha this.

Really though, if they say that, try not not let it get on your nerves. Just keep working on fixing your skin and don't hold yourself back!

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Well take a look at the entertainment industry how many people in the entertainment industry have acne ?

What about these somewhat successful actors / musicians?

wet-hair-keira-knightley-01.jpg

01621f56c85d227c_brad-pitt.xlarge.jpg

image-4-for-spotty-celebrities-gallery-718661138.jpg

I don't want to waste my time. You are just being pessimistic (in my opinion).

I think I forgot Johnny Depp and a bunch of other actors...

My point is, none of the people I mentioned are known for their acne. People aren't as judgmental as you think.

You know what's uglier than acne? Being a douchebag.

Edited by jarrit
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