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I just want my life to be over!

My aim screen name is Exodusx6. Please IM me if possible :(

I've been wanting to commit suicide the post few days, but I know, suicide isn't the answer. I'm not going to do it.

I got my first pimple when I was like six. I didn't suffer from acne until I was twelve or thirteen. I went to the derm and he perscribed me to this really strong medicine. It started to work moderately on my face, but not as much as I wanted it to. I have been trying to schedule an appointment to my derm for accutane and he scheduled me for the 30th. WTF! I want to get accutane NOW! I haven't been out of the house in over a month because of my acne. I just got the biggest ass pimple (possibly the biggest I have ever gotten) yesterday, and it hurts like hell. The last time I got something near this big was right around my birthday. Me and a few friends went to a resturant and had lunch. My four friends were drawing each other on the table with crayons, and when they drew me, they put a big dot on my cheek where the pimple was. I looked disgusting from what they drew :( It's mean to make fun of someone period, but on my birthday?!??! No way. I don't want that to happen again, so I suppose I am going to stay in the house the next few weeks. I have been running hot water on it and it is just getting redder.

I suffer from severe severe acne on my chest and back. I really want it to be gone with the accutane but my doctor is taking two damn long! :{ If only he would have scheduled it earlier, maybe I would not have gotten this huge pimple! I just want to be a normal teenager with normal skin and a normal body. I wear sweatshirts a lot and my friends bug me to take them off. I can't because I can't risk them seeing my body acne.

What do you think would happen if I told my derm I was considering suicide? Because I pretty much am. :( I just can't take it any longer! I deserve to live but not like this :snooty:

I could go on and on about the hell I've been through, but that would take hours to write. I feel like I could write a novel from this, and maybe I will. :} I want to become a derm when I grow up because I want to help people with this horrible horrible horrible condition.

Please please please dermatologist, pity me and give me an earlier appointment. :pray:

Edited by Soll1

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yeah i definetly know how you feel in almost everything you talk about... even becomeing a derm haaha... i feel the same way about taking my shirt off to as i have very acne prone skin and can burst up at about anytime. i know how it feels to have to live your life so limited and that's the shittiest feeling you can get in this life.. im really sorry man i hope accutane can help you

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First off, do NOT tell your derm you're suicidal. There's no way he/she will prescribe you Accutane if you're in poor psychological shape. Make sure you're mentally ready to take Accutane, because it can seriously exacerbate problems related to depression and anxiety. It's been known to make psychologically healthy people suicidal, so please keep this in mind and don't dive into Accutane if you know you're mentally unstable or unready to handle the side effects.

Secondly, your friends were being dicks. Don't pay them any attention. If something like this ever happens again, don't sit there fuming - call them out on it, tell them you don't appreciate their behavior.

Thirdly, Accutane takes a while to get, period. I think everyone (not sure if this is applicable to males, though) has to wait 28 days AFTER being prescribed Accutane to pick up their actual pills, meaning you'll wait a couple months to get yours. If you're really unhappy with waiting until the 30th, actively seek out a new dermatologist. It's easy enough to find them online - that's how I discovered mine, and I didn't have to wait months for an appointment, initial or otherwise.

Accutane isn't going to fix your problems immediately, so learn to be a little patient. I only started noticing improvement about three months in, but it's been worth it. I'm very happy with my progress, and know this was the right path to take in regards to my skin. But expecting immediate change just isn't reasonable; it won't happen.

Your skin will eventually improve. If your derm prescribes you Accutane - and it sounds like they're planning to - you'll go through a months-long course like the rest of us. Your skin will be all the better for it, so stay positive. I used to get extremely depressed about my skin as well, and this is no longer the case. It was definitely worth the wait.

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Hey, Soll1.

I am very sorry to hear that you are having a very hard time coping with acne, but please check with a counselor on this issue. While you may voice various issues at the Emotional And Psychological Effects Of Acne forum, we strongly feel this is not a suitable place to share suicidal thoughts with other members. I strongly encourage you to seek a professional assistance on this matter.

Information about professional assistance can be found here:


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