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AI3forever

How do you deal with depression resulting from scars?

Depression. I would sum it out as reliving the worst day of your life. But the catch is that this feeling is repeated everyday.

I have had scars for over two years and depression for as long. Depression makes you feel aimless, it sucks out any drive and passion you have of life. It makes you feel dislike in interacting with others, preferring to just sit in a corner and drown in your misery.

I couldn't concentrate on anything because of depression. My studies are affected, my parents commenting on my bad results caused me to feel even less motivated. I tried to explain that because of my scars, I have depression. They laughed it off as me being childish.

I know you guys would say that I should have positive thoughts. In fact, I do have positive thoughts. I once was a person without self-control, letting this depression rape over my mind. I quarelled with my parents badly a few times. Right now, I do not quarrel with them. I act happily and enjoy times that I spent with my friends. However, I find these happy experiences to be very fleeting as it is not a true happiness, a state of calmness that I seek to achieve internally.

Even with this happy facade, I feel tormented internally as subconsiously there is a deep sadness in me. I can't change the fact that I am subconsiously sad, as said it is a subconsious feeling. Consiously I feel and act happy, but this subconsious sadness manifests in me in the form of depression. This causes my internal thoughts to have many clashes within, making me a confused person, am I suppossed to be happy or sad. I assumed I might be happier sometimes if I do not have to hold on to a facade.

You might say that subconsious thoughts can be changed. Yes, I agree to a certain extent, as in the form of habits.

However, as in my case, the root of my problem stems from a disfiguration, though minor, but severe if in the context of acne scars. Is it normal for a human being to feel sad if he's disfigured? Yes. Is it normal for a human being to feel happy if he is disfigured? No. Therefore, it is normal that subconsiously, I feel sadness. Even with that said, a human being can still feel happy even with disfiguration, but that would be only possible if he does not care about his disfiguration AT ALL.

This is a very very hard thing to do for me and 99.9% of human beings. I mean who DOESN'T care about looks a single bit? ( Let me emphasize the fact that my scars are not a single little cut on my cheek or anything like that that others can disregard, people have come up to tell me that my face looks bad, and Ive ever looked in bad lighting and it looks like its melting. So a person who cares about looks even the tiniest single bit would be affected )

Therefore, this subconsious depression would remain in me throughout my life until the point that I can remove these goddamm scars. Anyone can give me some advice and opinions. Sorry about the rattling and me posting similar topics again.

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I know exactly how you are feeling, and I suspect most people who post in the Scar Forums have suffered from some kind of depression related to acne scars!!!

I cannot say the best course of treatment for every person, but for ME, I did not stop seeking treatment until I obtained results that were noticable and that made me feel better about myself. I have had almost every treatment out there, and at 45 yrs old, most recently had Fractional CO2, and the results were astounding!!! I am now able to stop obsessing about my skin, and ENJOY MY LIFE!!! I spent way too many days, months and years being depressed about my skin and not wanting to socialize or participate in life. Those days are over for me. My skin is not "perfect", but it is improved so much that most people don't even know I had acne. I do plan to do one more treatment next year, but in the meantime, I am very happy with my skin!

So my advice is, do everything you can within your budget to help with the scarring! Seek the advice of respected plastic surgeons and dermatologists, and don't stop until you get the answers you need!!! You deserve to be happy and particpate in life!!

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I know how you feel. Ive lost count of how many times ive thought of just giving up on life because it seems like there's no hope. However, ive made a pack with myself, I will not give up until ive tried everything.

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Wow dude I dunno wat to say. It sums up my feelings perfectly. Most people here cant handle their scars,which is why they are here. There is no magic bullet or remedy that will stop the depression, sad but its true.

If I remember correctly you are a SE asian, and asians in particular do not have sympathy toward mental conditions like depression etc, hence the lack of social support is not surprising. The best comfort I can give is probably that you are not alone, there are many others out there who suffer the same thing you do everyday, myself included. Its not much but its the best I can offer.

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Thanks guys for all your replies. I also share the feeling that what has happened has already happened so there is no point thinking too much about the past. I would try to be the best I can be at this stage and take each day as it comes.

Thanks.

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There's probably at least one day a month where all I do is obsess about my scars. I get extremely depressed about them and probably spend the night crying or just thinking all around bad thoughts. Those days come and go, and until the day comes that scarring can be cured, they will continue to come and go.

I guess the biggest thing is to get your mind off it. Don't spend so much time looking in the mirror, especially at peak times when your scars look bad. For example, I know my scars look terrible right when I get out of the shower, so I kind of keep my head down until my body comes back to normal.

The biggest thing is to just have activities, get into a video game, focus on school work, spending time doing your job, work out, etc. Activities drain your energy and your focus, so when you aren't doing them, your normally too tired to worry about your scars.

Just stay active.

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imagine some people have been living with that depression for decades. for me, i had to live with it for past 12 years and it sux.

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Even though I am probably not anywhere close to the no-acne stage where I can start getting rid of scars, I completely understand. I salute you for posting your feelings.

It's better off thinking of acne scars as your enemy. If you have defeated the actual mastermind (acne) then you still have the guts in you to fight scarring. In this day and age, treatments are out there ready to be your ally against scars, so if it matters enough to you, work out a way to get them.

What everyone else on here can probably tell you that you're not alone, as much as you feel you are. I may be a relatively new person here, but it should be a relief that there are others out there going through what you are, even when it seems that everyone you see has perfect skin.

Don't let depression overtake you too much. It would be sad if you were pushed over the edge, so don't give depression that satisfaction. You said that your parents are angry at your failing grades right? That probably means you were a high achiever before, so don't forget that even if you do have skin issues you've still got many other plus points that you should focus on.

Aja, Fighting! (sorry, I'm a Korean addict XP)

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Having acne and THEN acne scars can take its toll for sure.

BUT we only get ONE life, and putting 'life' on hold until scars are dealt with is pretty insane really...I felt that way too, until one treatment after the other didnt heal my skin much at all...years went by, until I realised I was more concerned/obsessed about my scars than anyone else...and I realised that if I didnt start living life to the full, it will have passed me by.

Sure people notice scars, and yes we realise we have them, but the self talk I do, is POSITIVE, I TRY to find the good in every situation.

I hope to oneday a treatment is invented that promises real healing, until then I accept my appearance, and do what I can to promote slow healing from within. The use of products and a roller is the best option I can find at this stage. :dance:

Life is good, enjoy everyday, and remember there are others with problems far worse than some acne scarring.

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Yes true, I am not going to put my life on hold right now.

Anyways, hearing the above guys who have to deal with scars for 11 to 12 years. I really feel sorry for you guys that you have to endure for so long. But as someone earlier said, there is no point harping about the past. You live in the present, and the future is what awaits you.

I was once also thinking, why does it have to happen to me? That I could have avoided this whole incident and save myself years of misery. But sadly, life does not work this way, we can't change situations that happened in the past. Also, as another poster said, he was so obsessed with it that he would think about it everyday only to realise that his life has past him.

Right now, we might have bouts of depression here and there. We have to understand it is perfectly normal that we feel this way. However letting this feeling consume you totally is only going to wreck you. Everyday is a fight, and we have to have a warrior's mentality to condition our minds to stay positive always.

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I have had many paralyzing days because of my scars, but in reality 99% of my torture is from me and no one else. I am married so I am not in the market anymore so really I shouldn't care about impressing people with my great skin, but I am a perfectionist in a lot of ways so it is hard. I've learned that I have to accept I will never have normal skin, but that has to be ok. When my makeup goes on well, I can say I don't look horrible, so I have to accept that and be thankful. Still part of me wants so badly to just look normal. I think we have to concentrate on the things we can accomplish and enjoy in life that don't involve our skin... I can still take care of my son, still go out and work, make friends, write a book, etc. I can truly enjoy my life if I choose, so I am trying to let go of the need to have my skin look unscarred, because I just don't think it's going to happen and the effort depresses me. I know some people find hope from trying new treatments, but to me they don't yield much and can cause irritation, so it has been hard at times. I won't try invasive or risky treatments now.

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