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Nervous and angry

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I have suffered from acne since I was about 13 (I'm 17), and was recently shocked when my face broke out so badly that I stopped spending time with my friends, and even family. I developed an extremely large cyst on my cheek and had it drained and injected over 3 times.

It came back about a week afterwords each time and decided to just give up. Once I thought things couldn't get worse, my chin erupted with a huge mound under the skin that hurt so badly i had major trouble brushing my teeth or eating. Over a few months, my chin got worse. I got another extremely large cyst on my jawline and cried in pain every night when tried to sleep and every morning when I tried to hide the redness with foundation. Also, all around the cyst on my chin were large under-skin pimples which may even be more cysts that are in a big cluster. I would wake up constantly throughout the night crying because of the pain. Now, where I am today, the cyst on my cheek is bigger than ever and so tender that I have to wake up about an hour earlier in order to put my makeup on slowly. And the one on my chin has stopped hurting because it got so big that now It looks like a golf ball poking out of my face. At least the pain is gone, right? Well... the other day, I noticed an intense pain from the other side of my chin. Another cyst. I'm currently awaiting the process of Accutane and hope to god that It will fix my problem. I'm sick of staying home every night and fearing going to work because I constantly get the looks of disapproval and sometimes someone will even have the balls to ask me "what's on your face?" Throughout high school, I was so used to going to parties and being at my friend's houses every night. Now, my bedroom is my security cave and I will barely come out to do anything.

My life has definitely done a complete flip and I've turned into the person I was always scared that I would be.

Can accutane fix this? I feel like nothing can fix these cysts, they're so big, red and angry. I just need some comfort :(

Edited by lb2
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I have read your lines with deep sympathy. I know this place of agony very well. I suffered from acne in my teens, from age 13-18 approximately, and then again since my late 20s. (I was clear in between due to using birth control pills, which slowly but very effectively cleared me up.) I'm 31 now and due to finish treatment with roaccutane soon, which I took for six months from January through July, and now again for another two months since mid-October. Like you, for some of the time I had deep cystic acne, some of which unfortunately resurfaced with roaccutane (as it had not cleared properly in my teens).

The good news is, there is help. We do not have to put up with the deep depression that this condition causes us. Like you, I have had weeks and months in my life when I withdrew from my friends and family. It is perfectly understandable that you should feel like this. Roaccutane is an effective drug, but it takes time to work, and I'm sure you have read plenty of times that things may get a lot worse before they get better. They certainly did for me. And it's quite hard to go even more deeply into this condition which we all would probably do anything to suppress. But it's the only way out, and at least that way we are taking control of the acne, and not the other way round.

I'm close to being finished with my roaccutane treatment. Things took a bit longer than expected, but this is probably because I had residues of acne in my body still from my teenage years, which the hormonal contraception suppressed. I did not have much of a breakout on roaccutane, but some very deep and painful cysts, which probably formed when I was your age and then never came out until now. I'm sure they are a lot easier to deal with for you now. I hope that these lines give you some encouragement.

Good luck and hope you find a way out of this soon.


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I'm not sure whether I missed it on your post but have you been to a dermatologist. I started to get Cystic Acne when I was 20 years old. I tried over the counter stuff, until my face was so bad I decided to see a derm (only cost me $10 copay). I was prescribed bactrim and differen 0.1. It took 6 months to my acne to subside and get better. after I was clear I stopped using everything then broke out again. It's been about a month and a half since I broke out, when to my derm got my pills and differing back. I've also added zinc and jojoba oil to my regime. I have one cyst now nex to my mouth, which is the only active I have.

So i'd say this, don't try anything over the counter go to a dermatologist, and give it time. There's nothing that will clear you in a couple weeks (Personal experience), take it with a great of salt and know that there are others out there suffering the same as you.

Stress helps acne, i'd try to do something to relieve this stress, and try to stay away from mirrors, not easy but it helps. If it will make you feel better i can post pictures of me before and after

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Thank you both for your words and understanding. It helps even if only a little bit that other people feel the same way I do. I am and am not looking forward to the accutane. I am moreso only because I know in the end it will be worth it, but I'm certainly NOT looking forward to the journey. I am lucky enough to be able to take my senior year at home and online so I can stay out of the judgmental eye of people my age as much as I can.

And to answer you Rdman, I have been to the derm many many times. I've tried plenty of other treatments and injections and so this is why the final step is accutane. My dermatologist found a way for me to be able to take it for free in an experimental study of the drug because my family does not have health insurance. So because of the experiment, it's caused the wait to be prolonged for about 3 months longer than expected which makes the end even harder to reach out to.

Hopefully I can handle the experience with grace, though it will be difficult especially with work and any other reasons to leave my room. I'm hoping with all of my heart that things will go smoothly and I can leave my room again without yearning for a mask.

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