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Sounds a lot how i feel right now....Back in early 07 maybe even late 06 when i found this place looking for help....here i am 3 years later, don't know if my situation is any better now then it was back then.

i do know i went about it the worst way possible...running away from life and my skin problems..only i took it to the extreme and am still stuck in the position trying to fight against that and how my scars/severe pigmentation problem. so at least you and all these other people man up everyday and go about life, while i only go outside covered up somehow to take trash and the dogs out...who knows what people think when they see me

:sick:

i just had a treatment done about 3 days ago...everything is still red so i don't know if it's actually going to help...but it seems me and you maybe have the same kind of problem...pm or something if you're interested in any info about it

Edited by Kraven Moorhead

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heir your posts are always the most interesting to me. I'm like you in that its been 2+years of absolutely no change and I haven't handled it well.

I don't know what the fuck to do.

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I don't know what the fuck to do.

I looked into the future and saw yesterday.

The most joyful moments of my life are fabricated. I live in my own universe, and I've completely removed myself from reality. The people I meet today are in my dreams, and they admire the person I'd hoped I would become. My potential is fulfilled when I shut my eyes, and the glory that follows evaporates when I awake. I'm victorious only for a moment, and then reality intervenes. I'm left to face what I've become, a troubled and sick individual.

I've done nothing to better myself. I've neglected my passions; ignored my souls' plead for ambition. Staring in a mirror I see pain. I'm reminded of the loved ones that I've failed. I see the tears that have yet to be cried. I've lose my hope, and it eats at me because it's a painful reminder that there are people who have not lost their hope in me. I've deliberately sheltered myself from their pain, because I'm not strong enough to weather the consequences. I've lost my feelings, but your feelings still touch me, and I've found the inspiration I need to continue.

I'm finished digging my hole and I've reached the bottom of the earth. Let me apologize for those who I've kidnapped. It was not my intention to bring you here, but I was afraid of going on this journey alone. Place your trust in me, and accompany me on my path to redemption. I promise to share the happiness that has evaded me, a happiness I'm still apprehensive of, and together we'll experience what the future was supposed to be.

Today I realized I'll never be done. My personal war will end in death, and eventually I will concede to the only guarantee life brings. I've lost the war, but today I will be victorious, if only to achieve one more. Each day is my battle to win or lose. I choose not to surrender today, but to seize it for my own cause. I'm thankful for one more day. One more chance to prove to death I'm still alive. And I'll never make it easy again for death to interrupt my path to greatness. Come early and I'll resist, because today the world shall witness my brilliance. The world will be introduced to the real me. Today I become who I'm supposed to be.

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ace sucks full stop!!!!!!!!!!!11

i hate what it does to me and everyone who suffers from it

its justtt a self esteem, confidence killerrrr!!!!!!!

thats my little rant for today i think

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Great post and wise words. I imagine that a large majority people live in a perpetual war with themselves, to some extent. I think it is possible to ultimately accept those things that we cannot change about ourselves, but.. as far as the day to day, those things do not make you undeserving of living the moments you have. So whether or not you are fully self accepting seems to be independent of the ability to do great (even if small) things. At least, this is my experience. It is all about perspective.

Best,

L

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