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I just don't know what I am doing with my life. In some ways, I feel that I am stuck in neutral and never seem to venture beyond my comfort zone. Right now, I am noticing that my family is too busy and worried about my little baby brother to ask what I am doing and how I am doing from day to day. I just wish I would meet someone who really truly gets me...like really understand how I feel and think. But as each year passes and another year older, I feel all the more lonely and less hopeful that would happen. Don't get me wrong...I know my family and few friends do love me and support me in any way they can. But, I don't seem to be able to connect with anyone at a deeper level and hope that I do someday, preferably sooner than later. Life is too short. Maybe, some people go through life and never get a chance to have that sense of belonging and true connection with another person that bonds them. That's just so sad to think that happens because dying alone is something that no one should have to go through. But, that is one of my biggest fears.

In some ways, I think it may be a good thing to sell everything: my house, my belongings, and anything else I don't need. Then, I could just move and start a new chapter in my life in a different town. So, I am not sure it's the novelty of a new and different environment that incites me or my yearning to find someone, which seems not possible in my town, to form a deep and unbreakable bond with. I guess I really can't figure that one out yet. Maybe that is a topic for another day. Anyways, I am feeling a little better to be able to write these thoughts without any restraint. At least for now, there's no way that I could share any of these thoughts with my family and friends I love and know.

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Hi IceMonkey,

It sounds to me like your trying the find something in someone else that you should be looking for in yourself. You can only find someone to bond with once you have found yourself. I really doubt that moving to a different town is going to change things for you. But this is something you really have to figure out for yourself. Best of luck to you, and know that things can and will change, no matter what you do.

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I moved twice before, to a place completely new for me. It was ... fresh and exciting. a new start to try to live the life I wanted. Now that I'm back to the original place, I'm not particularly fond of this situation. I always feel like if I move to a different country, again, I know can start things fresh, and I'll be more happy with my life. I feel that people around me don't really get me, or just I've never let people to get me here. I honestly don't think I can find anyone here. My soul is screaming to get out of here. what then there aren't much I can do right now....

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I moved twice before, to a place completely new for me. It was ... fresh and exciting. a new start to try to live the life I wanted. Now that I'm back to the original place, I'm not particularly fond of this situation. I always feel like if I move to a different country, again, I know can start things fresh, and I'll be more happy with my life. I feel that people around me don't really get me, or just I've never let people to get me here. I honestly don't think I can find anyone here. My soul is screaming to get out of here. what then there aren't much I can do right now....

I absolutely understand where you are coming from and just think some people around here just don't get me sometimes. Sorry to hear you are not particularly fond of your current place of living at the moment. As for me, I do have a career that pays well so I am not too crazy about leaving town given the current state of the US economy. So, I guess I will have to find a way to think positive for the time being.

Edited by IceMonkey
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Well ,having a job that pays you well is definitely the next best thing. Right now I really got nothing. But then I'm still hopeful. I believe that one day, I will turn things around and make it happen for myself, by myself. I'm still young, I just need to stay positive,work the best I can, and than do better than my best... Those days will come .

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