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[kelvane09 0]

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Edited May 13, 2011 by kelvane09

[snooze 0]

that's the topic: does anyone here feel like people reject you quickly based on your appearance (if you have moderate/severe acne scarring) ?

they'll give you body language cues that convey disgust like coughing loudly when passing you or sniffing loudly, or if you're sitting around others, they'll mismatch their body language from yours to show they're separate: i.e.: if you sit up straight, they'll relax more, but if you slouch down or cross you arms, they'll do the opposite ?

not to get all downer up in here but, that above paragraph happens to me so frequently in life it's become my f**king shadow. am i alone on this one ?

you're not alone to the extent that you thinkpeople do that, and some (very few) probably do, but most of it is just being overly anxious.

i feel you though. it sucks to have those thoughts.

[mugenman 0]

Indeed, I feel the same way. I tend to analyze other people's reactions more due to my condition, I seem to always surmise that they're mentally judging me and trying to display I'm truly the anomaly of the group. I feel that people would make more of an attempt to even converse with me if it wasn't for my many visually unpleasant pigmentation and scars. Infact, I know for a fact that my own personality would be different if I didn't have to deal with acne. Perhaps people who don't deal with acne perceive it differently, as if someone with such a condition has poor hygiene practices.

I'm always so scrupulous when around others because some people have made comments pertaining to my acne and scars, even with the numerous prevarications of friends claiming my acne is negligible, I'm aware of the inevitable truth. People are always observing...I actually didn't start suffering from severe acne until after high school. I had clear skin in high school, it wasn't until a week after graduation that my disease took action. Even old high school friends seem to treat me differently, they seem less willing to interact with me...now that I'm different. Currently in college I resume suffering, people always seem to keep their distance.

Hopefully there's a light at the end of the tunnel...for all of us...

Edited October 7, 2009 by mugenman

[katharine 0]

I think these happen when you lost too much of your self confidence, and then over observing people around you. Relax!

If someone is already sitting up tight for awhile, and then they see you sitting up straigh,

They might change their posture because you reminded them they've been sitting in the same position for long, and their muscle is getting sore. so they needa change their posture.

or think about this , in a quiet doctor's office, you're waiting and sitting next to this guy, both are crossing the same leg... the same way, don't you think it might looks a bit gay?

To change their posture because they dislike someone, I think they have to seriously hate you, and they'd probably do it with a disgusted look on their face. I just think if they want to cover up the fact that they don't like you for you having acne, they wouldn't do an obvious loud cough or something obvious to draw your attention to them.

[olkie 0]

People have reacted to my scars, I have heard the comments. The bad part is that I work in a social service office and it still happens. People judge each other all the time, not just acne and/or scars but also things like height, weight, clothes, how much it effects their perception of another is something that has been debated alot. Studies show that people think that good looking people are smarter or are more capable but this is just one of the many factors that they consider.

For what it's worth, I think it is related to both one's attitude and the amount of acne/scars. If you have only a few scars, it is easier to brush off comments of others but it is harder if you have alot of scars. I realize that a few scars may effect one person as much a 100's on another but that is another subject.

People will tell you that it's how you respond, that your attitude is the important thing and it is but it's still hard. Get out, enjoy what you can, research and treat the scars and just keep fighting. I've been doing it for years and life does get better.

[Yoym 0]

I think youre a little paranoid.

Personally I try to not have the same position as other people just because. If theyre slouching, Ill sit straight. Heck if their hats are backwards Ill put mine forward, or Ill take it off.

[maxis786 0]

Indeed, I feel the same way. I tend to analyze other people's reactions more due to my condition, I seem to always surmise that they're mentally judging me and trying to display I'm truly the anomaly of the group. I feel that people would make more of an attempt to even converse with me if it wasn't for my many visually unpleasant pigmentation and scars. Infact, I know for a fact that my own personality would be different if I didn't have to deal with acne. Perhaps people who don't deal with acne perceive it differently, as if someone with such a condition has poor hygiene practices.

I'm always so scrupulous when around others because some people have made comments pertaining to my acne and scars, even with the numerous prevarications of friends claiming my acne is negligible, I'm aware of the inevitable truth. People are always observing...I actually didn't start suffering from severe acne until after high school. I had clear skin in high school, it wasn't until a week after graduation that my disease took action. Even old high school friends seem to treat me differently, they seem less willing to interact with me...now that I'm different. Currently in college I resume suffering, people always seem to keep their distance.

Hopefully there's a light at the end of the tunnel...for all of us...

Bro i totally feel you on this one i used to have clear skin freshman and sophomore year of highschool and when i came back with alot of acne junior year my freinds didnt talk to me like they used to and my bestfreind a guy stopped talking to me because he though i couldnt get "girls" nomore because we used to b flirting with girls all the time but fuck him hes a fake freind and i dont have space for fake freinds in my life. Acne made me understand stuff about the world, i bet you if any pretty boy that had nice clear skin came back with acne majority of the people will react the way they did so i feel u man acne made me understand shit

[Guest Chrisâ„¢]

that's the topic: does anyone here feel like people reject you quickly based on your appearance (if you have moderate/severe acne scarring) ?

they'll give you body language cues that convey disgust like coughing loudly when passing you or sniffing loudly, or if you're sitting around others, they'll mismatch their body language from yours to show they're separate: i.e.: if you sit up straight, they'll relax more, but if you slouch down or cross you arms, they'll do the opposite ?

not to get all downer up in here but, that above paragraph happens to me so frequently in life it's become my f**king shadow. am i alone on this one ?

I used to feel like they did (judge me on my appearance automatically), but after a while I realized that most people don't actually reject you because of it. Yeah, they will obviously realize that you are not ordinary (clear skin), but the majority of people won't judge you based on that. Very few people will actually do that, but there are always some shallow douchebags that will. I've come to realize that most of the rejection actually is in our heads. It took me a LONG time to realize this and trust me when I say this; I have very bad scarring. Very possibly the worst on this board. I've only saw one person in real life and a few online that has worse scarring than me. I'm convinced that probably 70% of the rejection that we feel is just our own paranoia. Most people genuinely don't care too much about it, although it's definitely a different story sadly when it comes to finding love. I haven't figured that one out yet lol.

[Cornelia 0]

No. I have a friend who suffers from acne and red spots, and we absolutely adore him.

He fits in just fine, and I don't like him any less then I would if he had clear skin.

It would take a shallow person to reject someone just because their skin wasn't perfect.

[kelvane09 0]

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Edited May 13, 2011 by kelvane09

[kelvane09 0]

[q. .

Edited May 13, 2011 by kelvane09

[Timko92 3]

I never allow myself to be rejected because I don't even try

[Baalzebub 0]

It's not a feeling, it's a fact that people reject me for my appearance. Rejected by society, baby.

[Guest Chrisâ„¢]

Lol............ Yeah, people definitely do..............................................................................

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.............................................................................. no question about it..............................................................................

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Do what I do though, if people treat you like shit, don't stand there and look stupid, say something back and make them look like a total dumbass, it's and art style.

[kelvane09 0]

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Edited May 13, 2011 by kelvane09

[omgomgomg 0]

haha, i guess no one has anything else...

I was sitting in class. If I smile when the teacher makes a little joke, the person behind me, who has a sideways/diagonal view of the right side of my face, will eject a dry cough to try and smack my happiness down. When I walk past guys outside of the school's entrance, after class, a guy I pass who is bigger than me and wearing that winter hat/ballcap trendy thing, right after I pass in front of him, hawks the loudest and hugest loogey onto the ground, the assumption being that the disgust of seeing my face was too much and transferred somehow to his taste, which he had to cleanse. If I smile to myself at something and this one person in my art class sees me he'll cough loudly. Girls in front of me, if they hear me move at all behind them in class, shuffle or pick up my book, they'll do that little "flick of the head" with their hair to whiff my presence from her mind.

etc, etc, all day...

im just wondering. are you still in highschool?

i got a LOT of that back in highschool.. and its the main thing that motivated me to drop out. which im very glad i did.

im in college now, and ive noticed people are much more ..'accepting' of the condition.

I used to feel like they did (judge me on my appearance automatically), but after a while I realized that most people don't actually reject you because of it. Yeah, they will obviously realize that you are not ordinary (clear skin), but the majority of people won't judge you based on that. Very few people will actually do that, but there are always some shallow douchebags that will. I've come to realize that most of the rejection actually is in our heads. It took me a LONG time to realize this and trust me when I say this; I have very bad scarring. Very possibly the worst on this board. I've only saw one person in real life and a few online that has worse scarring than me. I'm convinced that probably 70% of the rejection that we feel is just our own paranoia. Most people genuinely don't care too much about it, although it's definitely a different story sadly when it comes to finding love. I haven't figured that one out yet lol.

this is spot on my friend.. there are always gonna be those assholes who instantly judge and make fun. but a majority of people seem to see past appearances.. for the most part.

as far as scars go. you could say my whole face is more or less deformed.. i have never seen anybody with scars as bad as mine, and theres only been one person on this site who ive seen pictures of, who has scars comparable to mine.

as such.. im genuinely decent at making 'acquaintances'/somewhat friends.. but when it comes to women.. i just cant figure it out.

well i mean i know what the problem is.. thats obvious.. and trust me.. confidence doesnt do me much good anymore.. and surprisingly im always confident recently.. ive gotten to understanding that theres nothing i can do about the scarring i have and im just going to have to live with it.. for the rest of my life. lasers cant fix me.. surgery cant fix me.. i am who i am. which sucks honestly.. but nothing left to do but live and hope for the best.

for those of you who arent in the same boat as me.. or chris.. go out and live your fucking life

you guys who despair with little to no acne.. it makes me sick.. you guys have nothing to worry about! if i can leave my house every morning with a face like this.. you guys can get any girl/guy you want and live your life to fullest. so do it while you still can.

[kelvane09 0]

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Edited May 13, 2011 by kelvane09

[Misery-Agony-Pain-HATE 0]

it is a fact that this is 100% true. most people if they see your severely scarred wont even give you a chance for fear that it will make them look bad being around you. ive experienced it first hand, whenever i talk to someone they always try to get away as fast as they can, they may try to hide it, but i can easilly see through their fake smiles.

[kelvane09 0]

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Edited May 13, 2011 by kelvane09

[Foreverdoomed 1]

yeah. i used to be one of the prettiest girls in my grade when i was 13. I'm 16 now and when i got acne at 14, it's like the world stopped in a heartbeat. people were so immature and would ask me wtf happened to my face.

I went on proactive, tetracycline, bactrim, every prescription cream, and nothing works

The SADDEST thing is that. while i was apparently pretty. i didn't even feel like it because nobody called me pretty. and now when i have acne everyone tells me oh you used to be gorgeous . you looked like eva longoria :/ and noww. its like yeah big deal i have acne do you really NEED to avoid me?

and personally i dont like getting too close with people myself. my personality has totally changed. i hate everyone that stares at me and have actually gotten into fights with people who stare at me constantly. even guys. :@

im so paranoid now. i know that without acne. we would ALL be different.

[Baalzebub 0]

Yeah, I get rejected by people all the time. Those people can go die for all I care.

[Harvestor Of Sorrow 0]

No. I don't put myself into situations where I would be rejected simply because I have absolutely no want for others in my life anyway. People mean nothing to me with exception to their grief and pain.

[kelvane09 0]

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Edited May 13, 2011 by kelvane09

[o Havoc o 165]

that's the topic: does anyone here feel like people reject you quickly based on your appearance (if you have moderate/severe acne scarring) ?

they'll give you body language cues that convey disgust like coughing loudly when passing you or sniffing loudly, or if you're sitting around others, they'll mismatch their body language from yours to show they're separate: i.e.: if you sit up straight, they'll relax more, but if you slouch down or cross you arms, they'll do the opposite ?

not to get all downer up in here but, that above paragraph happens to me so frequently in life it's become my f**king shadow. am i alone on this one ?

Let me ask you this.

If you came across a person like that would you want them in your life? Or would you want someone who just accepts you for you?

If i came across a person i like that i would reject them. I wouldn't them time to reject me as i think that is a really sad and shallow way to be.

Don't worry about people like that. Just focuss on the people who accept you for you and will appreciate you no matter what is on your face. That's a true friend and that is someone who would truly love you.

[Frida.k 2]

First of all at Nicky D - I have read a couple of your osts and have found them to be a real kick in the pants - in a good way. I think you are on of the rare board members who have a few years experience and perspective on their acne and I really appreciate you coming back to the boards to try and imbue your knowledge on the rest of us who are going through our "acne issues" and have limited perspective.

Secondly, I work with a lady who has moderate acne scarring. I have worked with her for 5 years and at first I never noticed she had scars, mind you I did notice she had a rough textured face but thats it. When I got acne scarring myself it finally dawned on me that she had acne scars. However my point is she is very attractive. She looks after herself, takes prise in her appearance and also has a bright, confident demeanor. All the customers lover her and a bit afraid lol!

So while I think we with acne scarring get judged for it I also think the way we behave affects how we are judged.