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JaneDoe26

Ever lower your standards?

hey I'm just wondering if anyone on here has ever completely lowered their standards when dating only b/c of acne? Since acne (now scars), I have been on dates with not-so-appealing guys because I don't think someone "good looking" is going to like me. I hate being judged and although I like dating nice/funny guys I just don't find any of them very attractive. I want a well balanced nice attractive guy. I find that when I didn't have acne I would find him no prob. I was engaged last year. But now I'm single because I chose to end things with my ex. Dating is problematic now because of acne and scarring. I don't feel I'm in the same league anymore...I mean looks isn't everything but you have to be at least willing to have sex with the person, right?!? Maybe I'll forget about dating and start collecting cats now. lol.

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I don't think I ever "lowered my standards" in dating but they more likey have changed. I know tend to find several types of girls as "attractive" rather than before, I became so picky and worried about having that "trophy wife" so to speak. Now, I just want a Person to like me for me and someone find attractive physically, mentally, spiritually etc.. With the course the world is going, I want to be find that person as soon as possible.

Alot of times, the people that we quote on quote "don't find attractive" are really right for us to begin with. I mean think about girls in paticular, they go for the type they want and they get screwed over by him. Does that mean he was the right type for her? I think alot of times we let hollywood control how perception of whats attractive and whats not. I think theirs an awful alot of flirtation or sensuality that goes on it todays world and people aren't really serious about finding the one. Finding the one doesn't require a whole lot of "flirting" but getting to know the person and looking at the true issues that can either make or break a relationship. Alot of times, the relationships that last, are the ones that first start as friendly, real contact; rather than, some hot hookup at a college party or some bar hopping event.

Often times, those who first draw my eyes; are the ones that everyone else is drawn to aswell, which isn't the best thing for me alot of the time.

Edited by BeautifulPerseverance619

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hey I'm just wondering if anyone on here has ever completely lowered their standards when dating only b/c of acne? Since acne (now scars), I have been on dates with not-so-appealing guys because I don't think someone "good looking" is going to like me. I hate being judged and although I like dating nice/funny guys I just don't find any of them very attractive. I want a well balanced nice attractive guy. I find that when I didn't have acne I would find him no prob. I was engaged last year. But now I'm single because I chose to end things with my ex. Dating is problematic now because of acne and scarring. I don't feel I'm in the same league anymore...I mean looks isn't everything but you have to be at least willing to have sex with the person, right?!? Maybe I'll forget about dating and start collecting cats now. lol.

Yes i feel the same way. I do not really lower my standards, instead i just do not try to date anymore because i would not date me looking this way if i was a girl. Not being conceded but i always dated good looking girls and i considered my self a decent good looking guy and i have always been picky. Acne has changed me thou, and i know once i do get clear for good, i would not think a girl with acne is unattractive.

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The grim reality of dating is that most people are going to judge you based on looks right away, that's just how dating goes for the most part. What I found is that those who have redeeming qualities prevail. Are you well-groomed, do you have a really nice smile, are you fashionable, well-read, successful? I have some light scarring and a lot of red marks, but I found that makeup helped me a lot and I worked with everything else I had to offer not only physically, but emotionally, and financially. I'm still a work in progress, but i'm also confident in myself and my abilities so that helps a lot.

Put the cats away and get out there, be confident in yourself. It may be difficult because of scarring but you can always find something else about yourself that you like and play that up. Work out, whiten your teeth, shop for nice clothes. These things will help with the exterior. For the interior, you can read self-help books on dating, spend time alone discovering who you are and what you want, go to therapy sessions (it helps to have a professional listen), and work on your hobbies! =)

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Nope. Standards have never been lowered. If someone can't accept me for me (and that includes my physical appearance) then off ya go.

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Nope. Standards have never been lowered. If someone can't accept me for me (and that includes my physical appearance) then off ya go.

:clap: Agreed.

Can't accept you for you then kick them to the curb!

Edited by BRAZZY

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The problem here is that you basing your standards and the schema of your "leagues" entirely off of physical appearance. Not so good.

If this is how you see the world, the world will see you through the same lens.

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