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Stratosfear

Getting worried i'll be single forever

well im 18, im not happy with the way i look, i do not get enough excersise, i have only a few close friends, i have minimal confidence, i barely have a social life, i dont get along with my parents very well, i have only had one girlfriend, im not sure if im bi or gay, i have really bad acne on my neck back and shoulders and mild acne on my face, im extremely insecure, im constantly looking at my face picking at it, i spend nearly all my spare time locked up in my room in my bed with my laptop or xbox only going out to get food, go toilet and shower, i need SERIOUS changes in my diet, i never can be bothered doing my regimen daily because i have this mindset that im always going to have acne so why bother getting rid of it, when im out in public im always thinking everyone is looking at my gross zits.

well yeah i have a very f***d up life, if thats even considered a life im not sucidial not by far.

I know i can change nearly everything in my life with just a few simple steps like eating healthy, joining the gym, doing my regimen evryday. But the thing is i just cant be bothered because im never motivated and i always feel like a sack of crap.

so pretty much what im asking for is some help, words of advice and that sorta thing

thanks

sam

Edited by Shekshee Beast

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Awe Sam, I don't really know what to say, nor do I have a good word of advice...But if you want to talk you can always hit me up on yahoo or in the pm. Keep ya head up dear. = )

Oh, and I have no idea where your insecurites come from, because your face is freakin gorgeous.

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eh not sure your bi or gay? You had a girlfriend, but do your sure you like men cuz you dont say hetero in your list.

But ehm why arent you motivated , just think of the fun things you want to do. Making new friends going out etc.. Just think of that.

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Are you an introvert? Read this and see if you match: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch

As an introvert, you'd rather spend your time alone than with groups of people. The point is to not envision yourself as flawed for being a person that enjoys time alone. If you view extreme sociability as perfection and anything else as lesser, then you'll be beating yourself up for who you are. I discovered this recently after becoming clear - I thought that I'd easily be able to become sociable after losing acne. It's just not like that.

Edited by Nauticus

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this is your first step :)

when i read your post it really reminds me of myself accept for me not being bi or gay

but you should just start making a plan about the things you want to change

if your really hate the way your living right now then there's your motivation (that's working for me)

i started eating healthy, i started niacin and my face/shoulders are clearing up

and i go out more but still need to join a gym..

but those are my first steps

just go for it man!!

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Words of advice (since asked), focus on what you KNOW you have control over. You're not happy with your weight. You can definitely change that, but complaining about it gets you nowhere. Get active and eat healthier meals in healthy proportions. It's hard to get into an exercise routine, but once you start and see progress, it gets much easier. The biggest step is getting off your duff and actually doing something about it.

Another thing you have control over is how strict you are with doing the regimen. Even on days you don't feel like messing with it, you have to force yourself to follow through or you're just going to be in the same rut you're in right now. Y'never know...if you actually follow through with performing the regimen every single day then you might clear up and get a bit of a confidence boost. And then the rest falls into place. :)

Best wishes to you, Sam. It takes a lot of courage to admit this kind of stuff to a bunch of strangers. You gotta make your mind up though. You'll reach a breaking point when you realize enough is enough.

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Start exercising. It will make a huge differences. If you are religious, make sure you pray for thanks for all the good things in your life. If not think about how good your life has been compared to the majority of the world whom have little choice, are starving, and fight daily for their life.

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Awe Sam, I don't really know what to say, nor do I have a good word of advice...But if you want to talk you can always hit me up on yahoo or in the pm. Keep ya head up dear. = )

Oh, and I have no idea where your insecurites come from, because your face is freakin gorgeous.

aww thanks janey that made me feel alot better :)

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Words of advice (since asked), focus on what you KNOW you have control over. You're not happy with your weight. You can definitely change that, but complaining about it gets you nowhere. Get active and eat healthier meals in healthy proportions. It's hard to get into an exercise routine, but once you start and see progress, it gets much easier. The biggest step is getting off your duff and actually doing something about it.

Another thing you have control over is how strict you are with doing the regimen. Even on days you don't feel like messing with it, you have to force yourself to follow through or you're just going to be in the same rut you're in right now. Y'never know...if you actually follow through with performing the regimen every single day then you might clear up and get a bit of a confidence boost. And then the rest falls into place. :)

Best wishes to you, Sam. It takes a lot of courage to admit this kind of stuff to a bunch of strangers. You gotta make your mind up though. You'll reach a breaking point when you realize enough is enough.

that breaking point has come already thats why i made this thread. thanks though siava this is really good advice and im going to follow thru with it :)

and thanks evryone else you gave me some really good ideas :)

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eh not sure your bi or gay? You had a girlfriend, but do your sure you like men cuz you dont say hetero in your list.

But ehm why arent you motivated , just think of the fun things you want to do. Making new friends going out etc.. Just think of that.

easier said than done you know, and if you read my list you should of been able to figure out why im not motivated....

and having a gf is exactly why i dont know if im bi ir gay, im not gona go into it because its a little personal so yeah.

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Maybe not having a woman for so long has caused you to want to take up a more feminine role to make up for it? Although I may be completely wrong, sorry if I am.

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its very easy to know if your hetero bi or gay

if you get a boner from girls only your hetero

if you get a boner from man only your gay

if you get it from both then your bi

Right?

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if you get a boner from only girls your hetero

if you get it from only man your gay

if you get it from both and not once from a girl and 100x from a man but about equily then your bi

very easy xD

Sorry if i sound ignorant or something. I think every person should be judged on his deeds and not his sexuality looks etc...

Edited by joris

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Dude just because you don't wanna go out as your confidence is low it don't mean your gay.

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Lol :wub:

Lets talk about Cheese! roflll, damn youtube being a dick = (

I wanted to see those commercialsssssssssss

lol janey, hmm cheese theres mild, tasty, edam, colby, feta, gouda, gruyere, haulomi, brie uhmmmm nuff said theres just lots of cheese hahahaha

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Maybe not having a woman for so long has caused you to want to take up a more feminine role to make up for it? Although I may be completely wrong, sorry if I am.

ok um i am so totally not feminine you spicy sausage mmmmhmmmm *slaps with purse*

nah jk, but seriously im only 18 so i havent had enough time to have something like that to happen and thats never going to happen because everyone i've told im gay thought i was straight and was completly shocked that i was gay. well i guess my lifestyle is a heterosexual one apart from the fact that i like lady gaga and beyonce and stuff aswell as hot guys lmao

Also you can get boners from quite a few things. eg -when you need to take a piss and have been holding it in for a while, dosnt mean your attracted to piss.

and huh, i dont think im gay because i have low confidence. I confused about being gay because i thought i was 100% since i was 15 and attracted to guys but ive slept with a chick and liked it.

oh man it to hard to explain without crossing the R18 barrier

Edited by Shekshee Beast

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its very easy to know if your hetero bi or gay

if you get a boner from girls only your hetero

if you get a boner from man only your gay

if you get it from both then your bi

Right?

im straight and women make me horny. but it may be different for girls.

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Siava is so right - hers is definitely the advice you want to take. :) I can relate to the weight thing and having no real social life and being in my room all the time and worrying abou dying alone. I have to buck up & take care of myself now as well :ermm: So thank you for making this post and vocalising your insecurities :D

As for your sexuality, I really don't think you should have to pigeonhole yourself :shrug: Especially when you're so young. Its alright to be confused. Just do what feels right and follow your heart I guess :)

Besides that you seem like a cool person & I really don't think you'll be alone FOREVER lol

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Sam, I second Siava's post. I know exactly where you are, your in a pit of depression. Your stuck in the past and your fearful or not hopeful of the future; so therefore, you can't focus on the present and have low drive living for today. THeir are days where :you don't feel like treating your acne, Talking to people, making contact with your parents, Wanting to just stay in your room and hide, want to just breakdown and cry. You agonize over your face, looking in the mirror and saying to yourself: How can any girl appreciate this guy (looks in mirror) or I'll never get a girl.

Does this sound familar bud?

I"ve walked the path, you are now walking. I"m 4 years older and have spent 3 years in rock solid depression. I know what it's like to have skin issues and yet, fighting and having ill feelings toward your parents. I know what it's like to want a girl so bad and know that you'll treat her like the princess shes is but you feel like a troll, hunchback, bushbaby..whatever and to know that no girl will go for you in your current state. I know what it's like to have hardly any friends and hardly any consistent support from your family.

You just want to keep away from people but yet, you want to be with people at the same time. You just want to stay in your dark, cozy room, Where you feel safe and secure but in reality, you aren't getting anywhere. You just want to play videogames, chat online with people, put together action plans about handling your acne but never fulfilling them etc..

Advice:

1. Forget about A girl.. You are 18 and have more important issues to be concerned about Ie..What you are going with your life. Whether it be college or straight into the workforce. Relationships require you to be emoutionally mature and financially stable or atleast enough to pay the bills and support yourself

2. Treat your acne no matter what. YOur acne will get worse my friend, It's a cruel fact. Breakouts are really all the crap coming to the surface, that has been hiding, spreading it's filthe throughout your face internally. Some people think theirs something wrong with breakouts but the truth is: It'll get worse before it gets better.

3. Be a friend to someone else or help someone who needs it. It amazing what it does to help someone or to be friendly to someone that really needs it. For once, you take the focus off "You" and on someone else. Think about those times you were out with the gang and you just forgot about your problems or whatever issues were on your mind; You were just having a good time and focusing on other people the whole night. Then, you go home; Feeling as if you can endure and take on those issues that were set fourth infront of you.

4. Don't be proud and not interact with your parents. Often times, when we get hurt by people; We expect them to come to us first and appologize but that doesn't happen a whole lot. Dont' be afraid to pull your parents aside and tell them what you are feeling. Appologize for what things "you" have done wrong in the relationship and take the initiative to improve relations with them. Bitterness destroys genuine character and creates a cold heart.

5. Keep busy. Whether it bee research on new ways to treat your acne, Making a "to do" list of household chores, Going to the gym or going walking to blow some steam etc.. The more your focus on a task, the less your mind dwells one the acne.

6.keep fighting.... On this side of eternity, their is no Happily ever after..

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Sam, I would go gay for you in a heartbeat. Just kidding, brother. But try exercising, diet well, sleep well, and stick with the reminen daily because you can't take it with a non challant attitude.

El Violador

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OMG, thankyou so much BeautifulPerseverance619! honestly thankyou thankyou thankyou. You have opend up my eyes so much!

You have made me feel so much better! i just wana get up and :dance:

Sam, I would go gay for you in a heartbeat. Just kidding, brother. But try exercising, diet well, sleep well, and stick with the reminen daily because you can't take it with a non challant attitude.

El Violador

LMFAO! thanks

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But seriously brother, when I was down in the dumps I always tried to stay positive. Like the old cliche: there's always somebody who's got it worse than you.

Another, is just do what your heart tells you when it comes to your sexuality. I've come to know you over the past 3 years on my annual vacations, you are a cool person to me regardless of your sexual orientation

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omg gary your are too funny, and yeah i always use to think that when my acne wasnt that bad like sometimes i would think "that person is such a freak", and now look at my skin talk about karma

and thanks man i wish more people irl were like you

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There are a bunch of good responses up there :)

I stay home MOST of the time. I finished school, and quit 9 months ago. So I get to stay home a lot, especially when I'm having a breakout (like now)...I Watch tv shows on my laptop and spend the entire day like that... ok, I am working on a small clothing collection in my room. but other than this, I feels like I have no life. I don't have much friends. I prefer not to go out to see my old pals. I just don't have any real close friends that I want to hang out with (long story short, I studied abroad for 5 years, so I'm not that close with friends in my hometown anymore). I believe it can be a problem, but I'm not too bothered by the fact that I have no close friends... I guess this runs in my family.

I'm 24, still trying to figure things out in my life to see where I'm at and where I'm going. I know that things might change in the future. On one hand I'm content with the comfort and peace I have at home, but on the other hand I get depressed about not having a "life". I hope things will change for better soon.

I also realize that I have like zero chances in getting into a relationship if I keep living this way, not to mention the acne totally destroy my self esteem. But then I'm just 24, I should really figure out my career and my life first before dealing with guy problems...

btw, I had my first date when I was 19, and I'm glad that I waited for someone I'm truly interested in.

Also, I doubted my sexuality as well when I was in high school. But then, actually lots of people had went through this too around this age. It's perfectly normal. I still think making out with a girl is hot, but I have never done that and have no intention to do that myself. Anyway, you'll know better when you meet someone you want to get serious with :)

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