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I know that my posts are dumb and no one relates to them. But where else can I bitch about this type of stuff.

My morning routine has been to wake up, immediately examine my face in the mirror, and then cry. Today I couldn't bring myself to cry anymore. I wanted to, but maybe there's a limit to the amount of tears you shed over something you can't change (at least immediately). Besides, from a third party's perspective I must be the biggest loser in the world for doing that on a daily basis.

I want to get back into the things I love again; painting, art. For some reason though, I feel like my shitty face diminishes all value in everything I do. It sounds strange but I can't convince myself that people could ever appreciate art done by an ugly person who hides behind the canvas. I don't sit proudly at the piano anymore and imagine people watching me play... I can't love it if I don't look good doing it. I know it sounds twisted and vain. It's just how it's always been, I loved being a "show" for people like my life was this big artsy fartsy experience and I was the beautiful evanescent paint covered demigoddess with all this talent.

But the way I look leaves me with nothing.

(yes, I'm dramatic)

On the bright side this is a journey to finding out who I really am. It's a dark bright side, but maybe I can get over the fact that my life isn't a "show" anymore. I just have to relearn the steps to what makes me happy.

Edited by xanaxx
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I think what you just said reflects to most of the people on this board including me. I was once enjoying life to the fullest and never look back before acne. I was once enjoying photography, theater and guitar and nowadays I don't enjoy them as much I used to. When I was into a hobby I would really immerse to it but now I have this like whatever feeling. I know it's bad and I know it consciously and I do try to prevent this feeling but so far no avail. Although my perception of life gets a bit better as I move on, I think it's because that I can't really do anything about my acne marks but to move on so I have to let it go (or I'm getting older).

Recently I imagined myself that I have flawless skin and tried to talking to people that way, I felt much more open with an awesome feeling to it. But as soon I looked into the mirror and well you know. lol

Well Best of luck to you and everybody out there!

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I know that my posts are dumb and no one relates to them. But where else can I bitch about this type of stuff.

My morning routine has been to wake up, immediately examine my face in the mirror, and then cry. Today I couldn't bring myself to cry anymore. I wanted to, but maybe there's a limit to the amount of tears you shed over something you can't change (at least immediately). Besides, from a third party's perspective I must be the biggest loser in the world for doing that on a daily basis.

I want to get back into the things I love again; painting, art. For some reason though, I feel like my shitty face diminishes all value in everything I do. It sounds strange but I can't convince myself that people could ever appreciate art done by an ugly person who hides behind the canvas. I don't sit proudly at the piano anymore and imagine people watching me play... I can't love it if I don't look good doing it. I know it sounds twisted and vain. It's just how it's always been, I loved being a "show" for people like my life was this big artsy fartsy experience and I was the beautiful evanescent paint covered demigoddess with all this talent.

But the way I look leaves me with nothing.

(yes, I'm dramatic)

On the bright side this is a journey to finding out who I really am. It's a dark bright side, but maybe I can get over the fact that my life isn't a "show" anymore. I just have to relearn the steps to what makes me happy.

I know how you feel honey. Ive dealt with my worst acne in high school got it under control fast with Proactive and hydroquione from AcneFree and was on top of world for 4 years. NOW, uggggh dont know what happened. We women have to deal with periods and our body changes alot so I break out now more than ever. I really dont mind pimples its the shallow indents that I have all of a sudden. I was watching Dancing with the Stars last night and saw all the beautiful women that I used to feel equally attractive as and then I just burst out into tears as if a loved one died. My mom knew exactly why. She just said, you make things worse than they are! Let it go. You know your hot, a few scars here and there dont make you ugly. I just want my good skin back. It was NEVER ever perfect but it was good enough for me. Now its not. And I feel like I lost control of it. Thats what really hurts and depresses me.

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I think anyone who has suffered from considerable acne for a long period of time has felt like you are at one point or another. Their is a saying you never know what you have until it is gone an boy that is the truth. When I was younger before acne I was extremely outgoing, an felt like I could tackle any challenge. After being worn down year after year from acne I think we all reach a breaking point an how we deal with that is very important.

I am currently on the road to recovery which is an amazing feeling but I still had to take a very long an hard road to get here. However through the trials an tribulations I learned some things along the way that I may not have if I did not suffer from acne. When I was young I put way too much emphasis on my physical appearance an discounted the fact that your personality an how you treat people is more important in the long run. To be able to walk into a crowd with your head held high an feel proud of your appearance is nice but in the end their are so many more important things than 'looks' an I feel like my journey through acne has taught me that. If you think you are ugly an worthless due to your acne than people are going to perceive you that way. Fake it until you make it an when you get to the point when your skin is clear you will have learned a lot of life lessons an be a stronger better person for it even if you do not realize it!

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I think anyone who has suffered from considerable acne for a long period of time has felt like you are at one point or another. Their is a saying you never know what you have until it is gone an boy that is the truth. When I was younger before acne I was extremely outgoing, an felt like I could tackle any challenge. After being worn down year after year from acne I think we all reach a breaking point an how we deal with that is very important.

I am currently on the road to recovery which is an amazing feeling but I still had to take a very long an hard road to get here. However through the trials an tribulations I learned some things along the way that I may not have if I did not suffer from acne. When I was young I put way too much emphasis on my physical appearance an discounted the fact that your personality an how you treat people is more important in the long run. To be able to walk into a crowd with your head held high an feel proud of your appearance is nice but in the end their are so many more important things than 'looks' an I feel like my journey through acne has taught me that. If you think you are ugly an worthless due to your acne than people are going to perceive you that way. Fake it until you make it an when you get to the point when your skin is clear you will have learned a lot of life lessons an be a stronger better person for it even if you do not realize it!

I agree with Williamo. When people get bad acne, thats when its becomes a "woe is me" topic. But this is for any affliction. If you had bad knees, wouldnt you complain about them? Those who only suffer lightly or moderately tend to be the ones who tell you you're being vain simply because they cant relate. But if someone cant empathize with you, then their advice has its limitations.

We are all trying to find that one solution that helps us get better skin and we all have taken an active approach in it. You cannot knock yourself for trying. At the moment Im exploring accutane as an option and undergoing a diet change, or better yet a reversion back to my former diet that I let it slide for a while. Put up more posts, try one of these formulas. Let's see what it does for you, we'll be here to listen.

Im currently taking

Vitamin B Complex (Great for skin, recovery and healing especially, contains Niaciin)

Vitamin C (helps combat infections)

Fish Oil

Black Walnut (in the form of droplets to be made into a tea)

And last but not least, accutane..as far as accutane goes, the side effects suuccck. But hey, most acne medications these days (Differin etc) have side effects so its to be expected.

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