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aasaalhum

for those of you who feel strongly about your acne...

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have you ever shared these feelings with a friend? because i just spilled to my best friend exactly how i feel about it...i feel like i keep bringing it up in convos with her lately (did it for the 3rd time today). not sure why, but i feel like talking about it because it's new to me and it's really depressing/annoying/pissing me off. i feel like she should know exactly why my mood has changed over the past few months. i don't think she understands and may even be weirded out...but she's really receptive to whatever i say, and it's nice. she asked what i've been doing lately other than work, and i said "listening to lectures and trying to find ways to fix my face" haha...and she was like "uhh...okay" haha. i love her though, she's been really great about all of this.

Edited by aasaalhum
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I have a new boyfriend who doesn't quite understand how much acne can affect a person (his joke was to "get over it"). He, of course, has generally very clear skin.

I think people are simply ignorant and don't put much thought into how our faces can affect how we feel about ourselves. Give them time, they'll eventually come 'round as you get to share more about the process of healing ourselves, physically and emotionally, from this.

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I never have. Probably because im a guy

yeah, i feel like guys have it tough in some ways...like perhaps a guy wants to share but won't because his friends just won't get it. like this one guy i know, he went to do med school abroad and cried before he left. his friends made sooooooooooo much fun of him. i thought it was sweet that he didn't want to leave his buddies (and family and current life) behind.

Edited by aasaalhum
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I want to talk about it with other people but I'm afraid they won't want to. Guys really don't like sharing their feelings, even with their friends. It's pretty stupid really. I kind of said something to one guy about it. We were eating and joking around and he said something and I'm like "Is that a Mexican Joke or a redface joke?" I'm pretty dark skinned when I have a tan. Anyway, he's like "Your face isn't really that red, maybe a little bit, but not that much. Mostly just darker skinned".

First time I have ever brought something like that up before a guy before...

But ya, I would love talking about it to someone, but I can't really find anyone. I want a girlfriend butttttttt that's not gonna happen until I fix my face. I really want to try and ask this one girl out but I can't until I fix it -.- Then I would talk to her about it. It seems like girls are much easier to talk to about this stuff.. which is why I'm glad my derm is a woman.

Yea the crying thing is a big NO-NO in the guy community. I know one kid who is like 20 and his girlfriend broke up with him before she moved and he cried about it. People were laughing about it and everything... pretty fucked up really.

My favorite dumbass quote if something personal like that is brought up in front of guys: "Man your a queer shut up."

Edited by gLx
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I want to talk about it with other people but I'm afraid they won't want to. Guys really don't like sharing their feelings, even with their friends. It's pretty stupid really. I kind of said something to one guy about it. We were eating and joking around and he said something and I'm like "Is that a Mexican Joke or a redface joke?" I'm pretty dark skinned when I have a tan. Anyway, he's like "Your face isn't really that red, maybe a little bit, but not that much. Mostly just darker skinned".

First time I have ever brought something like that up before a guy before...

But ya, I would love talking about it to someone, but I can't really find anyone. I want a girlfriend butttttttt that's not gonna happen until I fix my face. I really want to try and ask this one girl out but I can't until I fix it -.- Then I would talk to her about it. It seems like girls are much easier to talk to about this stuff.. which is why I'm glad my derm is a woman.

Yea the crying thing is a big NO-NO in the guy community. I know one kid who is like 20 and his girlfriend broke up with him before she moved and he cried about it. People were laughing about it and everything... pretty fucked up really.

My favorite dumbass quote if something personal like that is brought up in front of guys: "Man your a queer shut up."

It's not impossible to get a girlfriend with acne. I was going out with a girl at one point when I had acne.

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I didn't say it wasn't possible.. and that really wasn't the main point of my post. I technically don't have "acne" anymore, I have redmarks and scars which aren't really any better at all, and I am not happy with how my skin looks.

Why would I even attempt to have a girlfriend if I am not happy with myself and feel like crap? It wouldn't really make me feel any better. I am not going to try until I am happy with myself and feel confident, or I would just be wasting my time and hers.

That doesn't change the fact that I want one, but I'm not going to bother atm :/

We are totally getting off-topic, sorry about that.

Continue with sharing feelings with people and stuff.

Edited by gLx
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I did but they either try to push me to try proactive or tell me to go to the dermatologist which Im already doing. So I don't anymore.

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Well obviously anyone who has never had severe acne or even moderate will even begin to understand what it's like. That's one of the things I hate about clear-skinned people. Bless their hearts, I love them... But they just don't get it.

Oh and quick edit here... I never ever would talk about acne with any of my friends, only my derm. I did try to open up to my now ex-girlfriend but it was pointless, she just didn't understand how I could get upset. She was all about a man's man... A guy who doesn't break down like I did to her, I honestly think it's one of the reasons she decided to get rid of me. I guess I learned my lesson.

Best of luck to you.

Edited by gda_11
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Im open about how i feel about my acne with my close friends. It actually has helped the way i feel about myself, I suggest ppl to try it.

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Never spoke to my close friends about acne. I mean there are days (like today) that it really pisses me off and I want to vent, but I have a feeling they don't want to hear about it and they'll get tired of it and say "just get over it."

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I used to be so uptight about talking about my acne, but lately it doesn't seem like such a big deal. My skin is ALOT clearer than it used to be, but I still have pretty bad scarring/some red marks. It's like, lately, instead of drinking coffee like I used to which often included somewhere around a full pot daily, I've been taking to tea. Someone asked me about this and I replied, "I stopped drinking coffee because it makes me break out" which led to a conversation regarding acne. Yeah, it was a bit awkward, but I started realizing that it didn't matter how much make-up I put on everyday, everyone knew I had pretty bad acne. So talking about it kind of reaffirmed both to my friend and myself that I WASN'T self-conscious about my appearance. It was actually somewhat like a revelation; since then, I have felt more comfortable talking about it casually to my friends in conversation (and believe me, it comes up when one person says something about getting one little pimple overnight).

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