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Anyone felt this way? I used to not give a fuck about my acne, eat whatever I want, touch my face like people do sometimes, just be me in general.

Now I suddenly (well, more like gradually) won't let anything touch my face and am very aware of what I eat (which can be a good thing, but for me it's more akin to OCD). I have developed an intense fear and loathing of acne and I feel like I'm not worth shit when my skin looks bad.

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you should get back to being like you were before. at least the not caring part. caring too much is no good...but it's very difficult to not care, i know.

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The tricky part of the equation is that for the most part, I had way worse acne back then than I do now. I was on BP, adapalene and oral antibiotics pretty much all the time. Now I use nothing and still look better than I did back then. One thing about my acne that makes me think about it is that it's a little different. Other people may have clear skin overall, with some huge red spots like volcanoes almost, while I have these silly little bumps and constantly oily/blotchy skin with only the occasional pustule - but major irritation all the time (I feel every little spot). Makes me feel more of an alien than a human being with a disease, if that makes sense ;)

I've read some of your posts and this seems to have been a tough struggle for you aswell.

One thing that makes me feel better is the thought of how strong I will be when this shit is over.

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i only feel better now because the pimples just stopped coming a week or so ago and my hyperpigmentation is fading with tazorac. i couldn't even begin to feel okay about my acne, and i hope i never ever have to try. it's a nightmare for me. i'm glad it's making you stronger...i could learn from people like you! :)

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