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I LIVESTRONG

Insensitivity to acne sufferers

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Hi all I'm new to the forum so first of all hello to everybody!

Right, here's the problem: I've had moderate to severe acne for about three years now, and even after multiple trips to my doctor, it hasn't cleared up. However recently it isn't so bad, but what is annoying me is that more and more people are pointing it out. Now I'm from England, where we are generally polite and don't point out this kind of thing, be it a skin problem, physique, or anything else physical. But I've noticed that people are, towards me anyway, becoming increasingly insensitive toward my skin condition.

I just wondered if I'm alone, because I'm pretty sure many of you have encountered the fact that as you get older, people seem to wonder why you "still haven't got rid of your spots, then?" It's not just annoying for me, but really offensive and sometimes quite hurtful. Seeing as I'm anonymous here I can be extremely honest and say that I have had four girls turn me down in the past few years because of my skin condition, and a certain individual who thinks it is funny to make fun of me. It's really hard living with it, because I keep fit and slim, I'm good looking, I like whacky hairstyles, but the acne is the only thing that ruins it for me.

Can anyone give me advice on how to deal with this, and how to deal with these rude insensitive people, because I've coped for a long time and I'm starting to crack I'm afraid.

All the best,

:)

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hey dude whats your age? There came a time for me when my friends and those in my school grew mature and stopped making fun of me and other people with acne.. This was aronud 15-16, i.e year 10-11.

i dunno what to say, i sometimes wish i could go back to those times and stand up for myself more. i think maybe you will feel like that too when u get to my age. dont ever let losers like those get you down.. because in ten years time you'll still remember this stuff and they probably wouldn't remember.. dont let them affect your life like that, take a stand and defend yourself.. are your friends making fun of you, thaat would be pretty cruel.. just hang around the nice people, stay away frmo the people who put you down, or tell them to stop.

tough times, i know, this is a great place to chat

all the best

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Hey there,

I'm 16, and thankfully it's not my friends! In fact I really admire two of my closest friends because they stand up for me against "the losers", which makes me feel a bit better. I do try and stand up for myself, but I think it's safe to say that these rude people simply don't have a clue in hell what it's like having to deal with acne everyday. I would also say that I'm not a depressed person, I'm quite happy because I know that my skin problem could be worse, and that I could be totally rejected from society because of it, but I'm not, so I'm thankful for what I've got. Somebody else I know has extremely severe acne to the point that he wears sunglasses every time he goes out because he's so embarassed, and I feel really sorry for him, and thankful that many people don't judge my by my cover, and like me for who I am, and not what I look like. Like I said, it's getting better and I'm being patient.

Thanks chum,

:)

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Hey, let me start out and tell you that you are most definetly not alone. I've suffered with Moderately severe acne for 5 or 6 years now and I can relate to your post. Its important to point out the facts or look at the situation at hand. For starters, you are 16 years old and that my friend is a very tough age. Not only is that were your body goes through the most changes and but thats the age where you become the most "Self-concious" about yourself. Thats the age, where people tend to look what you have to offer or what you look like on the outside; rather than what qualities that are given to you personally.. Combine that, with todays society; Which frankly isn't exactly the most politie nor morally sound generation to ever be in existence.. The truth is, People (we) can be so mean and self-absorbed sometimes and we tend to belittle "different" or not similar to the norm. Acne suffers aren't the only one but people with disabilities whether they be Physical or especially "mental" handicapps..

It's not the fact that I have acne that influences me to have the feelings that I do but rather what people "think" of me having the fact I have acne. It's all in my head about "Fearing" what people might say or think because I have acne. Truth is "We care too much what other people think about us"!! We live in a world where we think that we have to constantly prove our worth or do "extra" or "Being extra" in seeking validation of worth through other people. Don't let the fact you have acne, make you think are any worthless than those who don't. Don't make the same mistake I did and let it engorge and let it control how you live your life.

"We" in the acne community need more examples of people living life even if they have acne. It's like dominos : One does it, than another, and then the whole crowd is doing it. Lol then you have people say stuff like "well everyone is doing it". Think about the impact that can come from you doing the things everyone else does and yet, doing it with acne all over your face. I'll tell ya what, it'll motivate other people about lookin off their problems and realizing whats truly important.

Also, People are going to be the same wherever you are. I come from the MIdwest or supposedly "Americas Heartland" and theirs just as much of what you are going through here as there is in your direction . We have people one here saying stuff like "oh your acne isn't that bad, why are you complaining" or something to that affect. The truth is, Any amount of acne can influence you in being "Self-concious". But you have a "choice" in how you respond. But understand, that when we let people control our lives; we think that we don't have a choice and those are "Feelings" in which are telling you those things. Feelings can truly be deceptive. We our a society ruled by "feelings" or what we think about things at a moments time. Think about all the problems we deal with todays society and most are caused by "Feelings". When we go by feelings, its all about "Me" or "You". Rather than, "We could I do for someone else". We have more crime today But more "Law Enforcement" today.

Your 16 and In probably the most unique times of your life. You have more freedom from responsibility and have more than enough time to find out what makes you tick. Don't be like me and waste those years in "Earning" acceptance from others and dwelling that you have acne. Because you'll end up as a: bitter, resentful, regrettful, narcisstic, "Having one foot in the past and one foot in the future, neglecting the present person. Don't let this time pass you by, because when its gone it's gone. I remember when I was 16 and thinking: I have all this time; well, I'm 21 about to be 22 and I can honestly tell you that it just seems like yesturday I was starting highschool w/acne..

DON"T LET WHAT PEOPLE SAY OR THINK, IMPACT HOW YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE; ESPECIALLY, IF YOUR STANDING UP FOR WHATS RIGHT!

In the words of BOB DUGGAR "I shouldn't have to owe any man anything, but Love.."

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I sympathize with you wholeheartedly, although i did not have acne as a teen, i do now as an adult nearing my 30's and people are pretty inconsiderate no matter what age they are. People are always making comments which are rather hurtful to me and yet they are just being clueless. Stuff like, "Wow, you must be really stressed, your face is so broken out!" One person even jokingly remarked that I was "too old for acne" maybe I just hadnt matured yet. Ouch, that one stung.

So anyways, I feel for you, I know firsthand how painful other people's interaction can be, whether or not they intend to harm you. But please don't let it get you down, there are good hearted nice people out there. And remember that high school can be a cruel experience in and of itself.

You sound like an intelligent and sincere person, any one who turns you down for a date is probably someone who wouldnt deserve you anyhow. I'd look at it as their loss, not yours.

If you ever need to vent, just post and let it go. It feels much better and you'll come away in a much lighter mood.

Have a great day, there's no reason not to! :D In fact, I wish I was your age! lol

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the best way to avoid these things is to avoid as many people as possible

only have business relationships, where it would be inappropriate to comment on someone else's face. and if they still do, tell them not to do it again.

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It's not the fact that I have acne that influences me to have the feelings that I do but rather what people "think" of me having the fact I have acne. It's all in my head about "Fearing" what people might say or think because I have acne. Truth is "We care too much what other people think about us"!! We live in a world where we think that we have to constantly prove our worth or do "extra" or "Being extra" in seeking validation of worth through other people. Don't let the fact you have acne, make you think are any worthless than those who don't. Don't make the same mistake I did and let it engorge and let it control how you live your life.

"We" in the acne community need more examples of people living life even if they have acne. It's like dominos : One does it, than another, and then the whole crowd is doing it. Lol then you have people say stuff like "well everyone is doing it". Think about the impact that can come from you doing the things everyone else does and yet, doing it with acne all over your face. I'll tell ya what, it'll motivate other people about lookin off their problems and realizing whats truly important.

I agree with the point that u have raised. It's perhaps the fear of getting ridiculed and receiving hurtful comments that make me 'scared'. I am not afraid of my acne scars but it's the words and comments from people that is making me afraid, really afraid.

Well, there can be so many holidays in a year like christmas and stuff but why can't there be a day for acne? A acne day to accomodate and respect acne sufferers. How i wish someone in my country can stand up and out to address our problems. But i know that it's nearly impossible in singapore. Why??? Do you know that whenever i am waiting for the bus to get to work in the morning, those people except for those who are alone will make comments with regards to my face. So before i even started work, my hope and energy is already drained. How i wished i could be deaf so at least i don;t know what's happening around me.

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^Wouldn't an acne day be counterproductive?

An acne day would bring awareness to the condition, but it would also make sufferers feel different. Acne or no acne, we're all the same.

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Hey all,

First of all thanks for the advice, I shall bear it in mind! I think that an 'acne day' on the surface is a good idea, but as someone said it would make people with the condition feel different and will probably make society exclude or point them out more. It would raise awareness of the condition yes, but I do not think that people will take it seriously as these days I think that people take interest in more life-threatening conditions or diseases such as cancer, heart disease, or multiple sclerosis. I think we, as acne sufferers, should support and give advice to each other on a person-to-person basis, such as using this forum, or just talking to other people. And talking to people like us can't be a bad thing.

But then again there will always be the select few who do not care and will point out or even make fun of thse who are 'different'. Whether you have acne, eczema, your skin is a different colour to their's, or whether you're disabled, there will always be that person, so maybe we should overcome them because we are better than them.

Livestrong everybody

:)

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