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I guess I'm not really sure why I'm writing this. I guess I just need a place to...confess? Lately acne has been on my mind even more than usual. Maybe this will help me let it out.

So it all started when I was around 11-12. Seems a little early for acne, at least for me. It started mild, not too bad. A pimple here, a pimple there. I never worried too much. I started treating it when I was 13 or so. Slowly, it got a little bit more severe over time. But even by 14, it was still easy to control. It effected me psychologically (sp?) at that point, but not all that much.

It was around the summer between 8th and 9th grade that it got REALLY bad. I'm not sure why, puberty I suppose, but not only did I break out alot more, I started getting stubborn, aggressive red marks and scars. I felt like total shit. My self esteem since then has been seriosuly impacted. I haven't been able to talk to girls almost at all. Every time someone looks at me kind of funny I feel awful. My friends little brother is 2, and I remember one time he asked me why my face was all red and weird. I'm a pretty tough kid, but I still cried that night.

Now I'm 15. Since then, I have tried every OTC product you could name. PanOxyl, ProActiv, Spectro, Neutrogena, Oxy, face washes, gels, toners, night cremes, etc. I saw my doctor and went on Minocycline and Clindamyacin gel. I then was referred to a dermatologist that put me on Differin cream. Absoloutely no results from anything. I could have rubbed bacon grease on my face and gotten the same results.

I think the only thing that ever made my acne a bit better was... well this is kind of embarassing... when I stopped masturbating. I saw a pattern between my breakouts and when I masturbated so I struggled for a while to try and quit and finally did. For a while after I was 99.99% clear minus all the scarring, but since then I still get breakouts.

I'm seriously considering accutane. I never wanted to have to try it, after reading all the horror stories, but at this point I think I might rather have no hair or be suicidal than have acne.

I don't really expect anyone to have anything to say, I just needed to write this somewhere and I feel better now that I have. Thanks guys.

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