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john1234

The Psychology of a Sufferer

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The worst thing for an acne sufferer is to receive advice on how to clear skin. It is more hurtful than mean jokes by friends, more irritating than remarks by kids. Whether the advice comes from your best friend, your mom, or a stranger--you don't want to hear it. That someone noticed your acne and then offers you advice is irritating on three levels. One, their advice suggests that your acne is noticeable. Two, it suggests that people don't accept you the way you are. Three, it suggests that you have not tried your best to clear your skin.

1. Your acne is noticeable.

Acne sufferers look in the mirror every day, if not every minute. So the fact that their acne is noticeable should neither bother nor surprise them. But it does. Why? The way to conquer acne is forgetting about that you have it. Forgetting is the most effective form of acceptance. And we do forget at times. And we do have a great time. In those rare moments we think to ourselves "perhaps my acne isn't noticeable after all." In those rare moments we are free. Acne advice puts back the chains. It seems to say, " Yes, your acne is noticeable and I want you to do something about it." In fact, many acne sufferers are so self-conscious about their skin--they want to be normal so badly-- that they'd rather have people ignore their skin than compliment it.

2. People don't accept you the way you are.

Many people who give acne advice accept you for who you are. But why does it feel like they don't? The reason is this. For chronic acne sufferers, acne is not only a sensitive subject. It is like an ugly and visible birthmark. Something that everyone, including yourself, comes to accept and embrace. At least that's what you thought. When someone suddenly suggests ways to remove the birthmark, it's more than attack on the birthmark. It's an attack on you. Such is the case with acne. Why do you want to change something about me, a part of me, that I thought you accepted for the longest time?

3. You have not tried your best to clear your skin.

We all know this. We tried everything for goodness sakes!

So when you see an acne sufferer having a great time, don't give her advice. Let her be in that beautiful moment of forgetfulness. Pretend that you don't see her acne. In that way she will feel free and accepted. In that way she will feel that she has tried her best.

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The worst thing for an acne sufferer is to receive advice on how to clear skin. It is more hurtful than mean jokes by friends, more irritating than remarks by kids. Whether the advice comes from your best friend, your mom, or a stranger--you don't want to hear it. That someone noticed your acne and then offers you advice is irritating on three levels. One, your acne is noticeable. Two, people don't accept you the way you are. Three, you have not tried your best to clear your skin. If time permits, let me talk about all three levels.

1. Your acne is noticeable.

Acne sufferers look in the mirror every day, if not every minute. So the fact that your acne is noticeable should neither bother nor surprise you. But it does. Why? The way to conquer acne is forgetting about that you have it. Forgetting is the most effective form of acceptance. And we do forget at times. And we do have a great time. In those rare moments we think to ourselves "perhaps my acne isn't noticeable after all." In those rare moments we are free. We are normal. Acne advice puts back the chains. Yes, your acne is noticeable and I want you to do something about it. Go back to your room.

2. People don't accept you the way you are.

Many people who give acne advice accept you for who you are. But why does it feel like they don't? The reason is this. For chronic acne sufferers, acne is not only a sensitive subject. It is like an ugly and visible birthmark. Something that everyone, including yourself, comes to accept and embrace. At least that's what you thought. When someone suddenly suggests ways to remove the birthmark, it's more than attack on the birthmark. It's an attack on you. Such is the case with acne. Why do you want to change something about me, a part of me, that I thought you accepted for the longest time?

3. You have not tried your best to clear your skin.

We all know this. We tried everything for goodness sakes!

So when you see an acne sufferer having a great time, don't give her advice. Let her be in that beautiful moment of forgetfulness. Pretend that you don't see her acne. In that way she will feel free and accepted. In that way she will feel that she has tried her best.

growing up my best friend had severe acne. She was on accutane in the late 80's early 90's when it was really really new and still a "trial medication". She was tormented by others but honestly? i never saw her as anything but my beautiful best friend in fact i often told her if she brought it up that i felt that her skin was no different than mine because thats the way i saw it. I had super mild acne and as far as i was concerned so did she.

when you really care about someone you DO NOT see the flaws. They don't exist.

to this day when i think of her (we're not in touch) i just think of a beautiful girl, the only reason i know it was severe is because of what she told me (which i didn't entirely beleive as she looked fine to me) and what people would say at school (which i also found hard to beleive)

and besides, who am i to look at flaws? we're all flawed. And damn well we should be because if we were all perfect we wouldn't have endearing quirks in our personalites that make us beautiful ON THE INSIDE where it counts :)

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