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bɭesstheʄẚɭɭ

The guy I am working with acted like such a pompous dbag

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Here is the story, I am spending my summer helping a guy working on his PhD by assisting his research. The guy is ~30 years old, he is homosexual (very), and can sometime act immature, but he is VERY smart...just sometimes unbelievable immature.

So anyways, yesterday night we were done with going out in the field and as we were driving back he just randomly poked my face and said "zit". Then "zit, zit, zit..." while pointing to other parts.

I didn't want to lash out on him, because I wonder if he was testing my anger reaction, but I just brushed it off and kind of looked at him, but deep inside I was thinking "you think that is funny you piece of ignorant ****?" I was very upset about it because my face is extremely clear to what it has been, and here he just tries to fuck with me when I have like a few inflamed spots.

So later that night I was thinking what I should have said and I thought:

"Let me guess you never had had acne before right?"

And if he said:

"Yes I used to have it"- I would have said "then you would never...ever...make someone else feel like that...you're acting like a douche.

"No I've never had it" - and I would have said something probably even worse. I don't know.

Ok so today we drove almost an hour to meet with a specialist to identify some things, and in the office he was doing his little immature bickering with me, and I said something he couldn't come back to and in front of the specialist he does the poking thing again and said "zit" out loud!!!

I just didn't even respond, nor look at him, and the whole ride back I was pretty quiet to him, because frankly that is unbelievably rude. He was even condescending to the specialist guy too...it was embarrassing.

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I know it's difficult, but you really should try to say something to him. You're working with him and there should be some respect between the two of you, something that he is definitely not showing. Next time he says something say, "I would prefer you not to comment about my skin that way. It's a sensitive topic and I would like you to please refrain from mentioning it again". Or something along those lines. Don't worry about how harsh you will come across because he is already speaking to you in such a manner.

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Sounds like your 'friend' is compensating for his past. Most likely him being teased or otherwise abused for whatever reason. Now he sees, possibly unconsciously, opportunity to get back at his past by being rude and demeaning to others. Unfortunately you are the simply easiest target at the moment, but as you said, it goes beyond you to anyone he interacts with.

Honestly, I would try to distance myself from him. I would certainly not be willing to give voluntary assistance to anyone who does not treat myself or others with the respect they are due.

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Get a basketball, and while he's busy w/ something, say, "Catch," and chuck it at his face.

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It's true, the only people who jeer at acne are people who have never experienced it. My suggestion is to be so kind to him that he would feel terrible for doing such a thing. Tell him that you won't think any less of him if he is nice to you.

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Ok first say to him (if he does it again) "I might have acne but I dare to think what kinda spots you got forming on your genitals" or "you are just upset cause you probably got herpes and no one will have sex with you" or "I know your not trying to make fun of me because I could burn you so bad you'll be crying for weeks" I donno just a few. Sometimes you gotta combat hurtful things with hurtful things. Then they will stop trying to bully you. Good luck and don't let one hater ruin your day. "Ignore the haters and they'll eventually fade away"

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If it happened to me personally?? Well, I would ask him politely not to do it again. The next time I would use physical force to prevent him from doing it

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... Tell him that you won't think any less of him if he is nice to you.

I like that suggestion.

He probably has AIDS, so don't worry about it.

Way to stereotype.

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I cannot stand bullys that try to find something to bust someone about - its like they are completely clueless. Maybe you've got to let him have some back. I remember this lady at work , she had a little bit of a nose (it wasnt bad but it wasnt real tiny) and this jerk used to come in to the office and address her by "NOSE" all the time, he never called her by her name. She got so angry at him and he used to wear a hat to cover his head cause he was losing his hair. Well one day he comes in and like always , he calls her "nose" , well she looks at him and says "HELLO, SKULL" - THAT WAS IT! he never called her anything again. Some people just really need to be straightened out. Those few blemishes you have are going away and someday, probably soon you will be completely blemish-free, but that guy WILL ALWAYS BE A JERK .

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I'm routinely amazed at some of the stories shared on this forum, and this is no exception.

I cannot imagine how miserable of a person you would have to be to act the way this guy does. That is unbelievably mean spirited. If you are mature enough not to seek retaliation of some form (and I wouldn't blame you a bit if you were not), you can at least take solace in the fact that this guy will end up leading a very lonely, unfulfilled life.

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fucking slap him.

sometimes talking is bullshit.

I feel that's the case here.

and arthur: whose to say he's a miserable sad person? He's probably just an oblivious scholar prick who deludes themselves into thinking that they're the shit. There really is no breaking people out of these kinds of bubbles. You just have to hope that one day he will realize he's a nothing asshole...or that he gets hit by a car.

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Awh :comfort:

Honestly, I'd tell him to shut his mouth.

You might not want to get physical if you reaaaaaally need to/like helping him, but if he continues to drop down to that level it'd probably be worth it to just quit. No sense in giving him the satisfaction of making you mad, but you shouldn't just stand there and take his shit. He'll probably respect you more if you stand up for yourself.

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Here is the story, I am spending my summer helping a guy working on his PhD by assisting his research. The guy is ~30 years old, he is homosexual (very), and can sometime act immature, but he is VERY smart...just sometimes unbelievable immature.

So anyways, yesterday night we were done with going out in the field and as we were driving back he just randomly poked my face and said "zit". Then "zit, zit, zit..." while pointing to other parts.

I didn't want to lash out on him, because I wonder if he was testing my anger reaction, but I just brushed it off and kind of looked at him, but deep inside I was thinking "you think that is funny you piece of ignorant ****?" I was very upset about it because my face is extremely clear to what it has been, and here he just tries to fuck with me when I have like a few inflamed spots.

So later that night I was thinking what I should have said and I thought:

"Let me guess you never had had acne before right?"

And if he said:

"Yes I used to have it"- I would have said "then you would never...ever...make someone else feel like that...you're acting like a douche.

"No I've never had it" - and I would have said something probably even worse. I don't know.

Ok so today we drove almost an hour to meet with a specialist to identify some things, and in the office he was doing his little immature bickering with me, and I said something he couldn't come back to and in front of the specialist he does the poking thing again and said "zit" out loud!!!

I just didn't even respond, nor look at him, and the whole ride back I was pretty quiet to him, because frankly that is unbelievably rude. He was even condescending to the specialist guy too...it was embarrassing.

He poked you face as in he actually touched your face?? :shock: That's invading personal space, man. :confused: Why on Earth are you helping this guy? He sounds like some kind of jerk.

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wow he's getting his PhD, he's in his 30s and acting like this? He's got issues.

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fucking slap him.

sometimes talking is bullshit.

I feel that's the case here.

and arthur: whose to say he's a miserable sad person? He's probably just an oblivious scholar prick who deludes themselves into thinking that they're the shit. There really is no breaking people out of these kinds of bubbles. You just have to hope that one day he will realize he's a nothing asshole...or that he gets hit by a car.

Um, what? Who is to say? Really?

I'm no amateur psychologist, but someone who intentionally demeans another in order to reinforce their own thin veil of superiority is almost always compensating for what in reality is a tiny self-esteem. That, or they are just naturally unkind. Either way, i feel pretty safe in my conclusion that he is a miserable person, the likes of which most sensible people will make sure to deprive themselves the company of.

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Don't get emotional about it. Make some jokes about him. I know what he does bothers you, but you can't let people see your weakness. I got the impression he is just fooling around. Maybe he just thinks it's all fun and games.

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poke him back and say fag, fag, fag

i dont hate gay people but making fun of someones acne is like calling a gay guy fag, we havent been publicly oppressed for it but we cant hide our acne, he can hide his gay

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That is ridiculously rude of that guy! First of all, I'm not sure why you bring the fact he is homosexual into it...that seems kind of strange to me. But okay.

I would say something to him about it. Something along the lines of "What you said to me regarding my skin is rude and I'd appreciate it if you refrained from doing so in the future." I would not recommend going the route of making a snarky comment back at him. That doesn't look well on the part of your character, and it might just encourage him to continue his immaturity aimed at you.

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Hold his research "hostage" until he gets down on his knees and apologizes or... just sabotage his research so that he doesn't get his PhD. :D

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Hold his research "hostage" until he gets down on his knees and apologizes or... just sabotage his research so that he doesn't get his PhD. :D

This is what I would do if I'm feeling passive-aggressive.

But since I'm not usually a passive-aggressive person, I would straight up tell him that I don't appreciate him commenting on my skin. I think sometimes people can be so oblivious about their social awareness that it gets to be a huge problem; especially since you're working with this guy!

Plus, look into the future:(1) you're only working with him during the summer (I'm just assuming this), (2) you guys are probably in the same scientific/research field--that's why you were set up to work with him in the first place, and (3) if you need him to help you write letters of recommendations or what-not, you certainly don't want to burn your bridges (as a researcher and your reputation).

Just try to have a chat with him about his behavior and see where that leads you. If nothing else works, secretly sabotage his work--muahahah!!!!

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Holy ****...just reading that made me angry. I would probably knock him in the ****ing face, and I am a very calm person too.

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Here is the story, I am spending my summer helping a guy working on his PhD by assisting his research. The guy is ~30 years old, he is homosexual (very), and can sometime act immature, but he is VERY smart...just sometimes unbelievable immature.

So anyways, yesterday night we were done with going out in the field and as we were driving back he just randomly poked my face and said "zit". Then "zit, zit, zit..." while pointing to other parts.

I didn't want to lash out on him, because I wonder if he was testing my anger reaction, but I just brushed it off and kind of looked at him, but deep inside I was thinking "you think that is funny you piece of ignorant ****?" I was very upset about it because my face is extremely clear to what it has been, and here he just tries to fuck with me when I have like a few inflamed spots.

So later that night I was thinking what I should have said and I thought:

"Let me guess you never had had acne before right?"

And if he said:

"Yes I used to have it"- I would have said "then you would never...ever...make someone else feel like that...you're acting like a douche.

"No I've never had it" - and I would have said something probably even worse. I don't know.

Ok so today we drove almost an hour to meet with a specialist to identify some things, and in the office he was doing his little immature bickering with me, and I said something he couldn't come back to and in front of the specialist he does the poking thing again and said "zit" out loud!!!

I just didn't even respond, nor look at him, and the whole ride back I was pretty quiet to him, because frankly that is unbelievably rude. He was even condescending to the specialist guy too...it was embarrassing.

It seems you have a legit reason to sabotage his research.

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