getting a date

[samurai_jack 1]

For people with acne scars, how hard has it been getting a date, or just dating in general?

It's hard to find a girl to go out with me.

[Ubermensch 0]

I find it VERY fucking hard to get a date, its almost impossible for me but good luck.

[kizza 0]

do you think that its all about confidence or do u really think its about the scars? coz i know heaps of ppl with pretty bad acne and scars n they got a g/f or b/f. i think its the fact that they dont let it get to them and they hold themselves with a lot of confidence which makes them attractive to other people. Just a thought but a lot of ppl- as superficial as they may be....tend to see personality through looks and sometimes the ugliest person with the greatest personality can become the most good looking person (did that make any sense or did i just contradict myself?)

[stripes79 0]

I have a gf but we started going out back when my skin was clear. I doubt I could get anybody the way i look now.

[jc 1]

Just remember that it isn't about what s/he thinks of your scars, but rather how you think about yourself.

If you constantly worry, and fret over how other people perceive you, then you'll end up not being yourself. There are so many men and women out there looking for people whose criteria goes way beyond looks. These relationships last the longest and are the strongest imo.

[Guest]

geordie are you going up to girls and asking them?

[**Princess** 0]

i am going on a date this saturday night and my flippin skin has flared up. but im just going to be normal the person who im going with has obviously seen before and thinks i look great so if he does then i dont care waht i think. HOWEVER i wish my skin wouldnt have flared so i could be confident and love myself for who i am not an acne face bimbo,

[Sam The Man 1]

Getting a date.......I wouldn't know, because I don't have the confidence to go and ask a woman out. I'm pretty confident person otherwise, but with women I turn to a mute idiot. Basically I missed out on the relationship thing when I was a teenager, because of my bad acne and I've never learned how to talk to women. Not that it is a problem, because they don't talk to me anyway, so I don't have to talk to them either.

[Guest ObiWontonKenoli]

I can't get a date...but I think it's not because of my scars.

Probably more because of stereotypes and lots of people within my age group (late 20s-early 30s) are already married, engaged, or already have somebody.

Actually with all the horror stories about women treating their men badly (I know and have experienced it a couple times) I am actually not feeling too bad about being single most of the time.

At least I have a couple friends go hang out and have a pretty decent career so I don't think I'm missing out a lot.

[jc 1]

Ya...there are pluses and minuses for both sides. Dating is great and being single is great.

More and more women are going the career route, and waiting till later for more serious relationships. All isn't lost if you don't date in your 'younger' years. It's all perception.

The grass is always greener...

[Yakushi 0]

...on the other side

what the crap has that got to do with anything? its like your potato theory. don't try that chinese wise man shizz on me, I'm not buying it just kidding

for dating goes, its hard to get get a person if you don't get active and stand up for yourself.

I love the scars on bill murray and I'm even a man for god sake!!!

[dudeman 0]

For people with acne scars, how hard has it been getting a date, or just dating in general?

It's hard to find a girl to go out with me.

[Guest]

What is this whole thing about women playing games? Yeah a lot of them probably do but don't all of you think there is a perfect counter-part out there for you that won't fuck around on you or be a bitch? They must be hard to come by but they obviously exist. Especially for those of you out of the highschool thing.

[porad 0]

I have a friend with consistently moderate acne around his mouth/temples and ice pick scars around his mouth. He always has a GF. Why? CONFIDENCE. He doesn't let it bother him.

I don't even have acne to the extent that he does, but I refuse to entertain the thought of a gf until I get it under control. Shit, when I have a breakout I make excuses not to hang out with people .. and that's long time friends who prolly give 2 shits how I look!

[Guest]

I wish more people would just read messages about these seemingly mythical beings who have acne and yet live a normal life and take a lesson from them. People people people, you don't realize the dark spiral you send yourself into by believing it's your skin that's holding you back in life. In fact, it is your belief that it's your skin that's holding you back in life that's holding you back in life (did you get that?)

I dunno I have found from this board and myself that it's usually the younger people who have a hard time understanding this concept as acne and growth in general are something new to them. If you've been dealing with this disease and let it control your life into your adult years it's time to stop that shit. Obviously, I don't know everybody's circumstances but from recent polls and other posts it's a safe bet to say that there aren't many ppl here with a face that would stop traffic. Active zits, scars, red marks. Come on. They are all just something to look past once you let people see the person underneath. They are just an excuse to stay depressed and keep yourself inside.

Don't keep yourself depressed. If there is an avenue beyond clearing your skin that provides you an opportunity to be happy, take it. If you don't, you have no one else to blame for your misery but yourself.

[Mr.Tweed 0]

Well you got a point right there. But it's defenitly pretty hard to actually do that.

I can pretend that I'm confident but can't pretend this attitude all the time. It's costing so much energy. So you got to be really confident to accomplish this all and confidents is pretty hard to get when you got rejected pretty much. Anyway

we need the attitude like wtf I don't care if I get rejected, I'll give it another shot.

[Guest]

Yeah what you say makes sense for a dating thread, but confidence doesn't come from getting over rejection, though it's undoubtedly part of it. You can't "pretend" to be confident, people can see right through a facade. When people can see that you're completely confident and secure with yourself, it's easier for them to get to know you better, because confident + secure people are usually very easy to talk to.

I don't think anyone can map out a general step by step process on how to build self-confidence (though i bet some psychologists would tell you differently) but I would say first and foremost you have to stop concentrating on the "bad" things about yourself. They only serve to perturb you, and a perturbed person is a fidgety, can't look you in the eye, mumbles speech type person. A person who's founded their personality solidly on their positive attributes feels they're worthy and deserving of anyone and anything.

Everyone has flaws. These people who resemble the image of perfection are nothing but freaks of nature, on the other end of the scale spanning freakishly ugly to mediocre to insanely beautiful. But even they have flaws. The people who live and die by the way they look are truly empty and sad people. Seriously, why would you even strive to achieve what they have, it took no work on their part to come by it. Think of these people in 30-35 years (assuming we're talking from the time they're born) when those first laugh lines start appearing, or the first grey hair or the 100000000 other imperfections that naturally occur. I get a kick out of these people in Hollywood whose faces looks like somebody pulled the skin starting at the jawline and stapled it to the back of their necks.

And it should only serve as positive reinforcement that a lot of good looking people (at least where I'm from) are open minded and do not wrap themselves up in the superficial, and I'm in highschool. Good looking chicks go out with less than average guys, and good looking guys go out with less than average girls. People people people, when are we going to learn that life is not a teen movie?

[samurai_jack 1]

I wish more people would just read messages about these seemingly mythical beings who have acne and yet live a normal life and take a lesson from them.  People people people, you don't realize the dark spiral you send yourself into by believing it's your skin that's holding you back in life.  In fact, it is your belief that it's your skin that's holding you back in life that's holding you back in life (did you get that?)

  I dunno I have found from this board and myself that it's usually the younger people who have a hard time understanding this concept as acne and growth in general are something new to them.  If you've been dealing with this disease and let it control your life into your adult years it's time to stop that shit.  Obviously, I don't know everybody's circumstances but from recent polls and other posts it's a safe bet to say that there aren't many ppl here with a face that would stop traffic.  Active zits, scars, red marks.  Come on.  They are all just something to look past once you let people see the person underneath.  They are just an excuse to stay depressed and keep yourself inside. 

  Don't keep yourself depressed.  If there is an avenue beyond clearing your skin that provides you an opportunity to be happy, take it.  If you don't, you have no one else to blame for your misery but yourself.

[Sam The Man 1]

Good looking chicks go out with less than average guys, and good looking guys go out with less than average girls. 

[Lydia 0]

Good looking chicks go out with less than average guys, and good looking guys go out with less than average girls. 

Don't know where you live, but it's not the case in here. Basically if a woman is pretty and she has boyfriend, you can pretty much guess that he's a handsome fellow. If you're a beautiful women, you can get a man that is handsome, funny and nice. Why would you settle for a guy that is also funny and nice, but is not handsome?

[Sam The Man 1]

Even if another person is better looking and has similiar personality traits they're not the same people.

[Guest]

Don't bother looking at it statistically. Anybody can be won over by anybody they are attracted to unless they are looking for looks above all else. These people aren't necessarily bad, it's just what they want. You're not going to get anywhere, however, worrying about being rejected. Accept or reject, that is the absolute worst that can happen to you.

[Guest David]

Earn shed loads of moolah.

Cruise about in a beautiful suped-up, over-powered sports car, flaunting your golden tan earnt on the beaches of Barbados whilst flashing your capped artificial pearly white teeth in a suitable primeval mating fashion to any nearby females.

Wear ridiculously expensive clothes which scream quality louder than a large man kicked in the balls. Strut around the place like you are the Don, with your head held up high, and your arms confidently swinging about.

Follow these meticulously well laid out instructions paying particular attention to the moolah part, and trust me my friends, your days of bleating on acne message boards about not being able to get a date will be a long and distant memory. If you are loaded, then you will date beautiful gorgeous women. These gold diggers don't care about your personailty, damn, if you can't make 'em laugh just keep chucking money at 'em. They don't care about your looks either. You know how many times I have seen fat, ugly, old men with disgusting gold rings laiden over their podgy fingers waddling along with super-model like girlfriends/wives obediently striding beside them? Too many times.

Hell, why I am in mid-rant, why don't I just shatter all of your hopelessly doomed dreams about beautiful women. The truth is, 80% of the most gorgeous ones are nasty, evil conniving liars. Why? Because their extreme beauty has taught them that the male species hopelessly fall at their feet like lost dumb puppys. Years of experiencing this strange behaviour teaches them how to wrap males around their little finger.

I accept my view may be slightly distorted and bitter, but this is what I have witnessed unfold around me my entire life.

You know it's true.

So there you go. If you want a fool-proof plan on how to date beautiful women, get rich quick. Be warned though, the most beautiful are usually the most dangerous.

Oh, and if you can't get rich, work on your personailty instead. Unless you are a human oddity, a shining personality and a bit of charisma goes a long way.

[Monkeypie 0]

Thank you, David, that was very enlightening.

[Guest David]

You take my posts waaay too seriously.