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Nubby

If you ever needed to read something; this is it.

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I am no expert and but I have read alot of books regarding psychology and body language.

Nobody cares what you look like. FACT; The only thing people care about is how THEY are perceived, how they look and what the other person is thinking of them. When you meet somebody all you think about is yourself.

You are the only one that believes you are ugly; when somebody meets you - yes they are going to notice you have "acne" however if you improve upon what you have already have and come across as confident in yourself then the person will react and perceive you 100% diffrently (especially women).

Humans are lazy by design, we make snap judgements based on body language. If you come across as shy *BAM* you are recognized as somehow "inferior" (or something is wrong with you) it is then immediatley pinned on your acne since its the most visible thing.

If you come across as confident *BAM* they see you as high in the pecking order, and they will pin it on something such as muscular build, hair, eyes, teeth whatever based on your body language - they have now made a snap judgement of you as a person (which is hard to shake off, especially if your body language never changes!)

Everyone posting in this forum has a discounted sense of reality, yes you have large noticable dots on your face which does not conform to the mass medias idea of "beauty". Not a problem!

I am not saying dont try and get rid of your acne; I am saying live with it until you get rid of it and stop thinking you are being "judged" when speaking to people. NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE!

p.s anything you think I should add or constructive critiscm is appreciated.

edit:

From wiki

"When a person is seen as attractive or unattractive, assumptions are brought into play.

Across cultures, what is beautiful is assumed to be good. Attractive people are assumed to be more extroverted, popular, and happy. However, this may be due to self-fulfilling prophecy; from a young age, attractive people receive more attention that helps them develop these characteristics."

If you are attractive and dont have the mindset you are - people will believe you are popular until you prove you are not in the first 30 seconds and vice versa.

Really they didnt care what you looked like but they made an asumption which turns out either to be incorrect or correct based on what you told them!

Sexual attraction is diffrent though - but mindset still plays a massive part (a little harder for women due to the fact men are designed to find attractive females; mindset is still important though.

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I've read a lot on psychology and studied a lot on the body language. In conclusion, I still believe on the subconscience level that people do judge others based on their looks. People are naturally attracted to good looking people, and people with good looks have things handed to them while people who don't have the looks have to work hard at it.

Personally, I just don't want to continue faking my confidence. I want it to come naturally.

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From wiki

"When a person is seen as attractive or unattractive, assumptions are brought into play.

Across cultures, what is beautiful is assumed to be good. Attractive people are assumed to be more extroverted, popular, and happy. However, this may be due to self-fulfilling prophecy; from a young age, attractive people receive more attention that helps them develop these characteristics."

If you are attractive and dont have the mindset you are - people will believe you are popular until you prove you are not in the first 30 seconds.

Really they didnt care what they looked like but they made an asumption which turns out either to be incorrect or correct.

Sexual attraction is diffrent though - but mindset still plays a massive part.

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From wiki

"When a person is seen as attractive or unattractive, assumptions are brought into play.

Across cultures, what is beautiful is assumed to be good. Attractive people are assumed to be more extroverted, popular, and happy. However, this may be due to self-fulfilling prophecy; from a young age, attractive people receive more attention that helps them develop these characteristics."

If you are attractive and dont have the mindset you are - people will believe you are popular until you prove you are not in the first 30 seconds.

Really they didnt care what they looked like but they made an asumption which turns out either to be incorrect or correct.

Sexual attraction is diffrent though - but mindset still plays a massive part.

Yeah, but naturally a person who knows that they are attractive has this mind set automatically attached to them.

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Indeed because from a young age they have been "groomed" to think they are popular. You dont need to groomed - because now you know people are judging you by how you percieve yourself via bodylanguage. Concentrate on the important thing (mindset) and then fix acne if you can!

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i agree except idk if that is how teens think. i hear a lot of my friends say stuff like "oh he would be hot if he didnt have acne" i dont mind it but whatever.

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Yeah, through reading these message boards I've found junior high kids to be particularly cruel.

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I am no expert and but I have read alot of books regarding psychology and body language.

Nobody cares what you look like. FACT; The only thing people care about is how THEY are perceived, how they look and what the other person is thinking of them. When you meet somebody all you think about is yourself.

You are the only one that believes you are ugly

Not true. Attractiveness can be measured.

; when somebody meets you - yes they are going to notice you have "acne" however if you improve upon what you have already have and come across as confident in yourself then the person will react and perceive you 100% diffrently (especially women).

Humans are lazy by design, we make snap judgements based on body language.

Also known as heuristics, or the 'rule of thumb.'

If you come across as shy *BAM* you are recognized as somehow "inferior" (or something is wrong with you) it is then immediatley pinned on your acne since its the most visible thing.

People can see right through you.

If you come across as confident *BAM* they see you as high in the pecking order, and they will pin it on something such as muscular build, hair, eyes, teeth whatever based on your body language - they have now made a snap judgement of you as a person (which is hard to shake off, especially if your body language never changes!)

Any decent person will realize they're making snap judgements - not to mention subjective snap judgements.

Everyone posting in this forum has a discounted sense of reality, yes you have large noticable dots on your face which does not conform to the mass medias idea of "beauty". Not a problem!

Everyone? It's not just the media, it's regular people.

I am not saying dont try and get rid of your acne; I am saying live with it until you get rid of it and stop thinking you are being "judged" when speaking to people. NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE!

People do, but again, any decent person will see both sides.

p.s anything you think I should add or constructive critiscm is appreciated.

You're welcome.

edit:

From wiki

"When a person is seen as attractive or unattractive, assumptions are brought into play.

Across cultures, what is beautiful is assumed to be good. Attractive people are assumed to be more extroverted, popular, and happy. However, this may be due to self-fulfilling prophecy; from a young age, attractive people receive more attention that helps them develop these characteristics."

Correct.

If you are attractive and dont have the mindset you are - people will believe you are popular until you prove you are not in the first 30 seconds and vice versa.

Really they didnt care what you looked like

But you just said: "If you are attractive...people will believe you are popular..."

but they made an asumption which turns out either to be incorrect or correct based on what you told them!

You mean a person's actions.

Sexual attraction is diffrent though - but mindset still plays a massive part (a little harder for women due to the fact men are designed to find attractive females; mindset is still important though.

A litter harder for men because women like confidence and security.

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Not true. Attractiveness can be measured.

Indeed it can be measured and rated. But is attractiveness based on phyiscal characteristics alone? No should be your anwser.

Physical beauty and "attractiveness" are two seperate things. You can have worse genes than somebody else - but still be more "attractive" via clothes, grooming, personality.

Physical beauty is what I believe you would like to debate. Yes Physical beauty can be measured and rated; its an important thing in mate selection since its the only information we have at the start of an interaction however its not the most important piece - a piece is exactly what it is.

The main purpose of this thread was regarding friendship and other human relationships - not mating/love.

When you go out with your friends do you care what they look like or do you care what YOU look like?

People can see right through you.

They can if you fake it - since your mindset has not changed; you still believe you are being judged by your flaws during the interaction thus give off tell tale signs of "fakery". Once people realise they are not being judged by their acne the body language should be natural.

Any decent person will realize they're making snap judgements - not to mention subjective snap judgements.

If you give them information that conflicts with their judgement then yes - but what other information do they have? None near the start. Snap judgements ussually stay with the person forever until a peice of information so large comes into play that it shakes the foundation of their perception of you(e.g a hobo in a suit).

Everyone? It's not just the media, it's regular people.

Everyone has varying levels of grandiose thinking when it comes to beauty. Not everyone with acne has the same imbalance of self-esteem but everyone with acne has an imbalanced self-esteem compared to "regular" people.

You're welcome.

TY xD

But you just said: "If you are attractive...people will believe you are popular..."

Yes until you prove otherwise. If you are "unattractive" people with believe you are unpopular until your prove otherwise with the extra information you are about to give them.

You mean a person's actions.

When I say what you "told them"; I mean what you told them via your body language based on your mindset/self-esteem.

A litter harder for men because women like confidence and security.

Some would say its harder to change your looks and some would say its harder to change your personality (mindset, self esteem, self paradigm). So I will agree that its a tie between men with huge self-esteem issues and women with poor genes.

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i agree except idk if that is how teens think. i hear a lot of my friends say stuff like "oh he would be hot if he didnt have acne" i dont mind it but whatever.

What I say goes doubly during highschool/college. If one person of influence thinks you are hot/popular then you are perceived diffrently. Its group psychology and its dumb; but its still true.

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