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Mezzo

Clear Skin: The Impossible Dream?

Hello and/or Welcome!

I had started a log a while back, but then things blew up and I had to wait even longer to start. That log turned angry and bitter, so it should stay abandoned. I wasn't going to start a new one at all, just in case, but I think I'm better prepared for all the problems my insurance and health care center will throw at me now. I must admit, though, that I'm still sad that I will have to postpone my tropical vacation now that I'm starting late.

I started my brand name Accutane nearly 2 weeks ago on May 22. The following week, we started rehearsals for the musical Man of La Mancha, based on the novel Don Quixote, hence the topic title. I also study voice, so in addition to the obvious side effects, I think I'll also chronicle the perceived effects that it has on my singing voice in case another singer happens upon this.

Week 1

Accutane, 40 mg/day

Female, 5'6" 143lbs (and losing, finally)

Mezzo-Soprano

Preexisting conditions: Kidney transplant, moderate hearing loss, mild astigmatism, various headaches, and, of course, moderate, stubborn acne for nearly 20 years.

Supplements: Vitamins for the Hair (B-complex plus minerals), Vitamin E 400IU, Vitamin D 400IU, Omega 3-6-9

For the first week, the only real side effect was increased oiliness. I have the usual arsenal of Cetaphils, Ceraves, and Aquaphors at my disposal, as well as a delightful mask by Alba Hawaiian, so I can continue to dream of sand in my bikini and umbrella drinks.

Days8-12

Serious increase in thirst. I've gone from drinking 10 glasses of water a day to at least 15. I'm making sure to eat extra potatoes with lots of salt to prevent over-hydration. This was a bit troublesome at my voice lesson. I may have to eat something extra greasy before singing to keep things supple.

The skin dryness is starting, too. I am no longer distracted by the shininess of my nose, and, therefore, I am no longer spending half my days planning on when I can surreptitiously blot myself.

Luckily, it's been rainy, so I haven't had to deal with photosensitivity yet. That should change. Painfully. Is it going to be worse than it was with doxycycline?

The IB has begun. On my nose. I don't usually break out on my nose unless I have an especially important event, so this is really fun. I picked (the blemishes--not my nose), but they're already healing. I have also sprouted a few on my chin, forehead, jawline, chest, and back. I daresay this is not the end of it, but except for my nose and chest, this isn't much different than my regular skin so far. We'll see how that changes.

I probably won't always ramble like this. confess that I took Percocet this evening for some nasty stomach pain.

And a picture from a recent photoshoot (I'm the worst model ever). I don't have any make-up free pictures on this computer, but you can see some spots through my make-up, anyway.

post-99917-1244005879_thumb.jpg

post-99917-1244005879_thumb.jpg

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Day 13

I had to go to a business meeting today. My skin looked awful under the make-up. Peppered with all kinds of spots. It's nice to not be shiny, though.

My stomach is still hurting, but it has nothing to do with the Accutane. The same pain I've had for 9 years. I'm a mess.

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Day 13

I had to go to a business meeting today. My skin looked awful under the make-up. Peppered with all kinds of spots. It's nice to not be shiny, though.

My stomach is still hurting, but it has nothing to do with the Accutane. The same pain I've had for 9 years. I'm a mess.

Good luck with the Accutane! I used to take voice lessons so I'm interested in hearing how Accutane affects that for you.

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Good luck with the Accutane! I used to take voice lessons so I'm interested in hearing how Accutane affects that for you.

Thank you! I'm sure I'm not the first singer to take it, and I'm sure I won't be the last. I should finally get that USB microphone I've been wanting as a birthday gift to myself. Keep a vocalized log as well as a written one.

Speaking of which, my birthday is a week away. I feel like I should feel older. 30 is supposed to be a milestone.

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Day 15

I'm fully into the IB. My skin is dry, but not horribly so. Yet. It won't be my first birthday with crappy skin. The medication seems to be working, and the side effects are at a minimum.

I like not having to shampoo my hair as often.

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Day 18

Still breaking out in a dazzling variety of blemishes. My skin is dry and rough, but not painfully so. My lips aren't bad at all, but I have always needed my lips to be moisturized. I couldn't exist any other way.

And I'm still parched. I had a drink or two the other night, then attempted to sing at an open mike. Bad combination. I would too dry to produce any kind of pleasant sound. Thank goodness for people drinking more than me, or else more people might have noticed how bad it was! I've been invited to sing for fun with other people at another event this weekend. Water, water, and more water.

My hair has also succumbed to the dryness. And it feels fluffier in neither a good nor a bad way. I get to use heavier hair products!

Wednesday is my birthday. My biggest plans are lunch with a friend, then envelope stuffing. Yay!

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Day 19

I completely forgot about a couple new side effect yesterday, probably because I was mostly sitting still at the time. The joint pain. Both feet, in the big toe joint (I've had bad feet and some foot surgery before all this, so it was expected), and a lovely case of TMJ on the right side. My jaw only hurts when I chew or when I open my mouth wide enough. I guess it makes sense for it to only be on the right, because by my right jaw always pops. Yay!

Now, I'm waiting for my hips to go. That makes the most sense with my medical history.

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Day 24

The TMJ has calmed down a bit, but the toes are even worse. Particularly on the foot that did not undergo surgery a year ago.

Worse, though, it a pain that developed in my left thigh. It's not an acute pain, but more like I overworked my quadricep, only I haven't really worked it at all. I went to sit in on a rehearsal I wasn't call for yesterday, and ended up stepping in for the leading lady, who is having her own health problems. It was stage combat, so it could have been a really bad time. But with my fantastic theater company, I was actually stepping into a wheelchair! My legs got to rest and my arms got a great workout (pain-free)!

Afterward, we went to another piano bar, and I hydrated with a bottle of champagne and plenty of water. I was prodded to sing again, and it went much better this time. It was also a less threatening crowd, though, and more supportive friends with me.

On the skin front, I'm still not painfully dry, as other logs have promised. I can only surmise that it's because I had a rather aggressive moisturizing regimen before Accutane. I'm now over the worst/first hump of the IB. I have tiny bumps and healing spots, but nothing painful or raised/swollen.

So, I have some pain and the distinct promise of clearer skin. I've dealt with plenty of pain before, so I would say that it's going quite well!

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wow no ones gonna care about ur accutane log becuz u cant even notice ur acne.

i dont kno how u even got accutane and i think u deserved to be smacked for being so ungratefull.

Maby u shuldnt be such a self centered biotch and meet some ppl with real skin problems

but w.e i hope u get what u want out of this, yet i feel like even once u clear up u wont be satisfied with ur looks. Cuz obvoiusly u seem like a self consoius person n u will find somethin else to complain about like, uneven hair

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wow no ones gonna care about ur accutane log becuz u cant even notice ur acne.

i dont kno how u even got accutane and i think u deserved to be smacked for being so ungratefull.

Maby u shuldnt be such a self centered biotch and meet some ppl with real skin problems

but w.e i hope u get what u want out of this, yet i feel like even once u clear up u wont be satisfied with ur looks. Cuz obvoiusly u seem like a self consoius person n u will find somethin else to complain about like, uneven hair

wow that is a preety fucked up thing to say who in this world wants any acne at all? i have very mild acne to but it fucks with my cofidence maybe thats what her problem could be that was really rude dude.

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once again coming from someone without acne.

o excuse me..."mild" acne. which means a couple litle bumps that no one notices. If that fucks with ur confidence then theres something honestly wrong with u and u must not be confident to begin with

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once again coming from someone without acne.

o excuse me..."mild" acne. which means a couple litle bumps that no one notices. If that fucks with ur confidence then theres something honestly wrong with u and u must not be confident to begin with

well what kind of acne do u have?

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wow no ones gonna care about ur accutane log becuz u cant even notice ur acne.

i dont kno how u even got accutane and i think u deserved to be smacked for being so ungratefull.

Maby u shuldnt be such a self centered biotch and meet some ppl with real skin problems

but w.e i hope u get what u want out of this, yet i feel like even once u clear up u wont be satisfied with ur looks. Cuz obvoiusly u seem like a self consoius person n u will find somethin else to complain about like, uneven hair

Thanks for replying to a log that you don't care about!

If you had the slightest bit of reading comprehension skills, you might have noticed that I claimed to be wearing make-up in that picture AND that I also claimed to have no pictures of myself without make-up. It's actually 2 layers of foundation and concealer that you were viewing in that picture. I was paying someone to take pictures so I could have a halfway decent, up-to-date headshot for my theater career. Obviously not a headshot, that was just a fun picture we took after we got a suitable serious shot. I like it because it's fun and awkward.

I'm not sure how I'm being ungrateful. If you had bottom-of-the-barrel healthcare and real medical problems, I'm sure you'd be more than a little peeved to have problems getting something as seemingly minor as acne medication.

I've known several people with skin cancer. Does that count for people with "real" skin problems, or does it only refer to acne vulgaris? What about my friend whose skin abcessed on her butt from being confined to a wheelchair? I think her problems might trump yours.

But it's true. I am a bit of a narcissist. As are all people who keep public logs. You have one, don't you? Do you want me to troll yours like you did mine? Maybe that will satisfy your own self-absorption.

I have fantastic hair.

once again coming from someone without acne.

o excuse me..."mild" acne. which means a couple litle bumps that no one notices. If that fucks with ur confidence then theres something honestly wrong with u and u must not be confident to begin with

well what kind of acne do u have?

I'm guessing the life-threatening kind...

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wow no ones gonna care about ur accutane log becuz u cant even notice ur acne.

i dont kno how u even got accutane and i think u deserved to be smacked for being so ungratefull.

Maby u shuldnt be such a self centered biotch and meet some ppl with real skin problems

but w.e i hope u get what u want out of this, yet i feel like even once u clear up u wont be satisfied with ur looks. Cuz obvoiusly u seem like a self consoius person n u will find somethin else to complain about like, uneven hair

Thanks for replying to a log that you don't care about!

If you had the slightest bit of reading comprehension skills, you might have noticed that I claimed to be wearing make-up in that picture AND that I also claimed to have no pictures of myself without make-up. It's actually 2 layers of foundation and concealer that you were viewing in that picture. I was paying someone to take pictures so I could have a halfway decent, up-to-date headshot for my theater career. Obviously not a headshot, that was just a fun picture we took after we got a suitable serious shot. I like it because it's fun and awkward.

I'm not sure how I'm being ungrateful. If you had bottom-of-the-barrel healthcare and real medical problems, I'm sure you'd be more than a little peeved to have problems getting something as seemingly minor as acne medication.

I've known several people with skin cancer. Does that count for people with "real" skin problems, or does it only refer to acne vulgaris? What about my friend whose skin abcessed on her butt from being confined to a wheelchair? I think her problems might trump yours.

But it's true. I am a bit of a narcissist. As are all people who keep public logs. You have one, don't you? Do you want me to troll yours like you did mine? Maybe that will satisfy your own self-absorption.

I have fantastic hair.

once again coming from someone without acne.

o excuse me..."mild" acne. which means a couple litle bumps that no one notices. If that fucks with ur confidence then theres something honestly wrong with u and u must not be confident to begin with

well what kind of acne do u have?

I'm guessing the life-threatening kind...

well from what u told me about him hes had it for 1 year wow thug are u fucking kidding me. try having fucking acne for 6 god dam years and having a fucking roller coaster ride all threw out high school and your bitching about having acne for 1 year wow pathetic.

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ive had it for 3 years? moderate/severe for 1 year... and i dont whine about my acne that much, i mean yes it bothers me but i take into consideration that ppl have worse problems and worse acne.

unlike this girl who thinks she needs ACCUTANE. u prolly dont understand how desperate ur making ur mild acne cure. Resorting to accutane is kinda crazy for mild acne.

and about the make up thing.. ppl with acne cant really cover it up so u cant see anything.

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ive had it for 3 years? moderate/severe for 1 year... and i dont whine about my acne that much, i mean yes it bothers me but i take into consideration that ppl have worse problems and worse acne.

unlike this girl who thinks she needs ACCUTANE. u prolly dont understand how desperate ur making ur mild acne cure. Resorting to accutane is kinda crazy for mild acne.

and about the make up thing.. ppl with acne cant really cover it up so u cant see anything.

I read your log, "thug," and you're one of the whiniest people I've come across in these logs. Seriously. Three years? Three whole years with acne? That's bad compared to my nearly 20 years of various different levels of acne, ranging from mild (but still present) when I was on doxycycline to severe when I was on dialysis. Mostly, it's been moderate. And stubborn.

I actually didn't ask for Accutane. I thought I would be ineligible for it, considering my medical history. It was offered to me, though, and the more I considered it, the more I thought it would be a good idea. A few months of Accutane instead of an indefinite length of time spent building up immunities to antibiotics. The antibiotic issue seems far worse for a person with a suppressed immune system. If you actually read this, you might agree. Maybe if I put it in a picture...

I consulted with both my primary care physician and my nephrologist (kidney doctor) before returning to the dermatologist. The promise of a real solution was intoxicating, I'll admit. It will be one less thing to worry about when I'm through. I'll be able to sleep in, sweep on some mascara and go!

When you've been wearing make-up since the 5th grade, you learn tricks and develop skills to effectively cover things up when it's absolutely necessary. It isn't always convenient to spend the morning with hydrocortizone cream and an ice pack, then spend the afternoon painstakingly dotting on concealer, but all the practice I've had must have really paid off. Thanks for the compliment on my make-up skills! Can I use you as a reference if I ever switch to make-up artistry?

Day 25

My aches and pains have gone away with some rest. And sleep. I had forgotten how nice it was to sleep.

My facial skin is a little rough along with the dryness. It's nothing too bad or painful. It doesn't feel tight. A speck of hot oil landed on my wrist, and now I have a tiny burn blister. It's kind of cute. Usually that kind of thing just results in a first degree burn, though, so it's something to be extra careful about.

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ive had it for 3 years? moderate/severe for 1 year... and i dont whine about my acne that much, i mean yes it bothers me but i take into consideration that ppl have worse problems and worse acne.

unlike this girl who thinks she needs ACCUTANE. u prolly dont understand how desperate ur making ur mild acne cure. Resorting to accutane is kinda crazy for mild acne.

and about the make up thing.. ppl with acne cant really cover it up so u cant see anything.

well i had mod about till my sr year of highschool u think i liked having that lucky i had a load of friends, nothing has worked so its why im going to it, to be more happy than i am now.

ive had it for 3 years? moderate/severe for 1 year... and i dont whine about my acne that much, i mean yes it bothers me but i take into consideration that ppl have worse problems and worse acne.

unlike this girl who thinks she needs ACCUTANE. u prolly dont understand how desperate ur making ur mild acne cure. Resorting to accutane is kinda crazy for mild acne.

and about the make up thing.. ppl with acne cant really cover it up so u cant see anything.

I read your log, "thug," and you're one of the whiniest people I've come across in these logs. Seriously. Three years? Three whole years with acne? That's bad compared to my nearly 20 years of various different levels of acne, ranging from mild (but still present) when I was on doxycycline to severe when I was on dialysis. Mostly, it's been moderate. And stubborn.

I actually didn't ask for Accutane. I thought I would be ineligible for it, considering my medical history. It was offered to me, though, and the more I considered it, the more I thought it would be a good idea. A few months of Accutane instead of an indefinite length of time spent building up immunities to antibiotics. The antibiotic issue seems far worse for a person with a suppressed immune system. If you actually read this, you might agree. Maybe if I put it in a picture...

I consulted with both my primary care physician and my nephrologist (kidney doctor) before returning to the dermatologist. The promise of a real solution was intoxicating, I'll admit. It will be one less thing to worry about when I'm through. I'll be able to sleep in, sweep on some mascara and go!

When you've been wearing make-up since the 5th grade, you learn tricks and develop skills to effectively cover things up when it's absolutely necessary. It isn't always convenient to spend the morning with hydrocortizone cream and an ice pack, then spend the afternoon painstakingly dotting on concealer, but all the practice I've had must have really paid off. Thanks for the compliment on my make-up skills! Can I use you as a reference if I ever switch to make-up artistry?

Day 25

My aches and pains have gone away with some rest. And sleep. I had forgotten how nice it was to sleep.

My facial skin is a little rough along with the dryness. It's nothing too bad or painful. It doesn't feel tight. A speck of hot oil landed on my wrist, and now I have a tiny burn blister. It's kind of cute. Usually that kind of thing just results in a first degree burn, though, so it's something to be extra careful about.

and tell u the truth thug i never asked for it my derm has been pushing me to take it i wish i would of listened early, if u dont wanna enjoy reading the girls blog than dont read it, preety plain and simple.

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hey girl,

Please ignore dude over there that wants to talk crap. Dont give him the satisfaction of actually reading it!! I totally know what you mean about the makeup. Know one can tell what your skin looks like when you are wearing makeup!! and especially in a picture!! Your dermatologist knows what hes doing and he obviously gave you the prescription for a reason. It can be used for mild acne! Mine isnt severe either and im on it!!

Anywho...I was just reading your log...i started accutane (well sotret) a week ago, the only side effects i noticed so far is way less oil on my face and really dry lips. I'm on 80mgs a day.

Are you taking brand name accutane or a generic?

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Thank you, thank you, and thank you! Although I don't wish to discourage him from coming back if he wants to play nice. I'm actually very curious to know why he's so angry. If there is any reason other than projecting his own self-consciousness and teen angst, of course.

saint meg: Having flawless skin as a screen actor is even more important nowadays because of HD everything! Accutane might make the difference between you getting a job or not. Without having to worry about your skin anymore, you can concentrate on technique and developing a style that sets you apart from your fellow auditioners. Good luck with that!

shellbellx: I'm on the brand name. At least for this month. The first time they prescribed it (and failed to submit the simple prior authorization forms), it would have been Sotret, so who knows what the future holds!

Day 27

My next derm appointment is on Monday, so a couple days without. The derm nurse assured me this would be fine. It's not like missing my immunosuppressants, where I miss a dose an possibly screw up my transplant. I just hope it goes without a hitch and I am able to pick them up on Tuesday. I think I'm prepared for everything that might go wrong.

Side effects are still manageable. The dry skin softens quickly with the right products. I keep my trusty water bottle and aquaphor handy at all times. The weather has been rainier than usual for Denver, and that moisture helps, too. I bought Bare Escentuals spray on vitamin moisturizer today for when it gets overbearingly hot and dry out.

I picked like a bad girl. Well, it was more like I coaxed some sebum out of a more noticeable pore on my nose, and it hasn't quite reclosed yet. My fingers are crossed that it does. I had way too my people in my face at rehearsal tonight, but more on that after my least favorite side effect.

My feet. Particularly the joint in my big toes on my right foot. I have bad feet, anyway, from injuries, but since starting the Accutane, they have increasingly become more tender. I had surgery a year and a half ago to fix my left foot, so that one's a little more stabilized by the screw. In addition to having people in my face, someone also squeezed my feet in exactly the wrong places.

We were working the rape scene in Man of La Mancha. The aforementioned leading lady with the abcess from being confined to a wheelchair had gotten bad news about how it was healing, so she marked through some stuff, then sat the rest of it out. My character was in the scene, but not at the center of it, so I was asked to take over again, so they could work stuff with the rest of the actors.

My theater company is the only one of it's kind in the world (as well as critically acclaimed and award winning, rivaling Denver's other top theater companies). We use only actors with a wide variety of disabilities, hence having paraplegic leading ladies and such. For the rape, she is being taken out of her wheelchair, hoisted up, danced around, and they are even going to "walk" her like a rag doll (2 people moving her feet while another 2 are holding her upright). Very intense stuff.

At this rehearsal, I took over while they were choreographing part where they lie her down on the table and "take turns" while molesting her. Thank goodness it's a very supportive group because, even simulated, it's not a position anyone wants to be in. There is some concern that it might be too much. It's one thing to push boundaries, but it's another thing to have the audience get up and leave.

So any thoughts of any kind about a paraplegic girl (albeit a very strong, capable, and altogether lovely one) being "forcibly" removed from her wheelchair for an implied rape scene are welcome.

Next time, back to acne!

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Yes, so last time I posted, I had a lot on my mind. Now, it's back to no one reading my log! Quick, Thug, come back and start crap again!

Day 30

I'm only on my 29th pill, in a vain attempt to stretch it out a day until my Monday appointment. No pill yesterday, pill today, no pill tomorrow, pill on Monday, meds by Tuesday (if I'm lucky, but Wednesday by the latest, with infinite luck and benevolent pharmacy gods). I'm really glad I have a Monday appointment. I'm going to try to only have Mondays from now on. It gives me 6 pharmacy days and 3 days that the dermatology clinic is open, and that leaves the least room for error.

I'm peeling in the places where particularly large spots are healing. I'm taking that as a good thing. My skin is properly exfoliating itself. It's well-moisturized otherwise, because I'm a stickler for that. My day skin goes: Wash in shower, pat dry after shower, Cetaphil moisturizing cream, Aquaphor where I know I flake, MAC SPF 50 primer across T-zone and eyelids, Neutrogena tinted moisturizer with SPF 30, whichever foundation and concealer I need that day, and mineral veil. I'm addicted to mineral veil. I only need to apply it once, though, since I don't get shiny anymore.

My side effects are minimal. My sore toe joint can be eases by gentle stretching, and that's really the worst of it. I'd like my dosage increased next month, but we'll see what they say. I'd also like to be wearing only my tinted moisturizer and dabs of concealer by the time the show opens (middle of July), but I think I'll only be able to have one or the other!

My dry skin is really no worse than my usual winter skin, except I don't have that greasy-dry thing going on. That's really the worst, and this is nothing in comparison.

Happy=me.

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Day 32

My appointment went mostly swimmingly. A little trouble at the lab, but nothing that deterred me from getting my second month of the stuff.

I'm up to 60 mg/day, or alternating days of 40 and 80, which is great by me because I'm experiencing very little in the ways of side effects. Or maybe I have more side effects than I think, but I'm just so used to sometimes feeling like crap. I just need to pay attention to how my headaches present themselves. I do have a headache today, but it was around before the increase in dosage.

Also, as predicted, I'm taking Claravis this month instead of proper Accutane. Maybe I'll get yet another brand next month!

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Day 38

Nothing horrible has happened. No increased side effects. There still isn't any bothersome amount of dryness, but I think I can attribute that to being diligent about moisturizing before starting the drug in combination with the unColorado-y weather that I've been loving.

My breakouts are amounting to tiny, nearly invisible bumps pushing their way through. I've been wearing the aforementioned tinted moisturizer and dabs of concealer (which I'll probably always need for my excessively dark undereye circles unless I come into massive amounts of money and can suddenly afford expensive eye creams), and feeling confident about going all day without retouching.

I've gone for over 2 weeks without shampooing my hair. And I've bought a new shampoo from the Desert Essence Organics line. I now have the Apple Ginger, Red Grape, and Red Raspberry. All I need to complete my collection is the Lemon. It would be my favorite, but I've shied away from it because the formulation is for oily hair. I'm worried that it wouldn't be enough for my new scalp.

Being my graceful self, I've managed to injure myself several times since I last checked in. I scraped up my feet in several places when we rehearsed a scene in which I get dragged off screaming to my death. It was very effective and probably a bit affected. I also tried to cook myself with my straightening iron, which is especially sad because I only use it on one tiny lock of hair. I just forgot it was there heating up and rested my hand on it.

These injuries are healing fantastically. I've read all these logs where bright, healthy have all these troubling side effects, but when it comes to the chronically ill chick, it's a breeze! I'm not complaining, and I'm probably cursing myself to future problems, but it's strange.

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hey there mezzo! it's nice to read a positive log (well, with that little bumpiness from thug over there, at least it was entertaining, right?) i'm glad you're doing well. i've had acne for about 17 years, so i know what you're talking about with the makeup tricks! and my husband did the same thing w/ my flat iron over the weekend. he touched the hot end w/ his hand and jumped about 10 feet backwards! i was like "yeah dude, that's like 400 degress or something". good stuff. i'm in colorado as well and used to be a music teacher before we moved out here (instrumental though), so how about that?

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