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Guilherme

For a man - Acne and women...

I've had acne since a was 14 (I'm 19 now) and I got more insecure of it when I entered the university as it seemed way worse than before to me.

Every single day I wake up and look at the mirror sadly wondering when they will go away. I avoid parties and my social life outside the university is very limited.

What matters here is that I don't know how normal it is to wish you could cut your head off and change it for one just like yours but without the damn acne while there is absolutely nobody telling you your face is bad. Even when I say I find myself ugly and suffer because of the acne, or when I refuse going out when invited (like every single time, I don't even know why they keep trying) I would just get answers (from girls) like "Lol... you complain like a girl, there is nothing wrong with your face, quit it..." or "You're saying this just for me to tell you you're good-looking aren't you?" BUT NO... I'm absolutely not. I feel like trash (I decided to post this now because I'm in like my worst breakout in the last 6 months).

I'd avoid letting my ex-gf touch my face because I felt dirty, unworthy of it, some unexplainable feeling. A week after having some bizarre problems with her and finishing the relationship (she was talking about marriage and such lol no way) I dated a colleague that came to the city for the weekend (I was for 4 days without a terrible breakout so I got some confidence to do it) and at one moment she got her face really near mine and said: "You're so handsome..." it was dark so I tought: "Of course she does, there is no damn fluorescent light nor sunlight here to make you change your mind". The "hell don't touch my face PLEASE" feeling still remained.

In two weeks I'm going to meet a blonde godess, blue eyes and such, gorgeous... and I couldn't be worst! I have 0 confidence, I fear she will find me dirty and drop me right away... but there are those facts that tell me it's all stuff from my head even tough I can't seem to accept it. She saw me in the webcam and was like "You're crazy, there is nothing there and if there was I wouldn't care"... you people know how the webcams fail at showing things and her words don't make me feel at any ease.

My solution for now is to avoid shaving for like 2 weeks lol I'll look a beggar but a great deal of the acne will be hidden. I told her this and she said that beard hurts, but that would be ok for her if it'd make me feel better.

If anyone got some "going to meet girl/boy but is insecure about your acne"-like experience, give me some light T_T.

Thank you.

P.S: I didn't mention I use an acnederm skin-color foundation every single day even if it's just to go to the bakery 10 steps away...

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I Know what your feeling its the exact same thing with me..i met this guy on myspace and he asked me out to lunch the next day (Hes the big brother of my friend) And i was like sure but the next day my acne flared up for no apparent reason i just wanted to call the whole thing off i spent an entire period in the bathroom just trying to put on makeup so i wouldnt look disgusting...so when he picked me up i was soo scared he would think i looked nothing like i do in my pics but he was a really sweet guy and we are still talking so dont let your insecurities stress you out like they did me, go for it!! like today for example i am having a wierd breakout but i went to the movies any ways WITHOUT makeup so you can do it too just be yourself youll be surprised and dont regret anything and Hold your head up with confidence and youll be fine remember the more you point out your flaws the more people notice it..

GOOD LUCK!! :)

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Listen up bro. You better go meet that girl or I'm meeting her with or without my acne :)

in all seriousness though, i'd rather go meet her, and have her drop me because of my acne, than sit at home and wonder if she would have cared.

more than likely, she wont even care...

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I agree with jake you should just go!!! I would never judge a guy because of his skin and as long as she isnt hardcore shallow you should be fine! and if she really is that shallow then why would you want to be with her anyway?

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Guest Chrisâ„¢

Dude, go look at my pics in the gallery. I just hooked up with this hot ass girl at a party on Friday night. Surely your skin can't be as bad as mine? It doesn't stop me, don't let it stop you either damn it. Just force yourself to call her or meet her or whatever you were going to do, and take it from there. The worst that could happen is you getting rejected, but who cares if you do anyway? It's not a big deal man. I'm not saying that will happen anyway... just worst case scenario. What do you have to lose? NOTHING! What do you have to gain? Umm........... ;)

PS: JUST SAY NO to Jagermeister and Red Bull Jagerbombs. You'll thank me later, Lol. :wacko:

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You're too concerned with how you look. Those girls either don't see what you're talking about, or don't care enough to notice. So what's the problem? Nobody is going to be absolutely perfect. Don't be offended by this, but it sounds like you're the only one doing any harm. People obviously want to be around you, and girls find you attractive.

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Let me just throw in a objective point of view on this ;)

People say you are good looking although you don't believe them, you get plenty of invites that you refuse due to anxiety, some even show disbelief that you think you're bad looking and thinki you're just fishing for comments - hell you even got a marriage proposal :razz:

Conclusion- you're probably not nearly as bad as you think.

You sound like me and many others on here tbh, so don't feel you're alone on this. But we all tend to have a much worse view of ourselves appearance wise than really is the case. I know it's hard, standing inches away from a mirror, analysing every imperfection you can lay eyes on - to think that you look anywhere near attractive. But in reality people really don't see as much as we do, they look at the whole rather than fixate at minor detail.

Now also consider the following situation that you outlined:

Said girl wants to see you, but you have a mind clouded by self-doubt and anxiety. Now then, you have 2 choices here:

1) You let the fear and self-doubt rule you, you cancel, and nothing happens. Nothing Ventured nothing gained.

Risk- 0 Result- 0

2) You go see her anyway. Rejection may be waiting for you, but something special is also equally on the table. You realise that if you don't do anything then the result you crave is an impossibility.

Risk- 10 Result- 10

Remember everyone has fears and self doubt, no matter how important. It's what they do in spite of these limiting beliefs that defines them - brave, courageous or indeed cowardly in the eyes of the others. Accept your fears, but act anyway.

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I decided to go and turn on the "fuck off" mode... THANK YOU all for the words =)

It'll be in two weeks, June 12th, which corresponds to Valentine's here in Brazil. I hope everything goes alright!

I'll give feedback about how I felt and her reaction (or lack of it I hope) about the acne.

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All you have to do is flash her that smile and it's over. You'll be alright.

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i'm right there with you man.

as a matter of fact a gay guy was hitting on me today ha.. i'm not gay though...

ya but i'm pretty attractive it's just that my acne prevents me from taking action =(

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