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n1ck

hurting the ones you love

just really need to vent

last night, i had kind of a fight with my girlfriend, and acne is kind of the source of it.

it just really influences how i am, sometimes i feel so depressed because of it that i just get all grumpy and stuff, and sometimes i just want to hide inside my house, or in the dark.

thats what annoys her i think, but i just dont have the courage to tell her whats bothering me.

and frustrations just reached a level last night, where everything exploded.

and the most sad thing is, because of her lack of knowledge, she even blames herself.

she thinks that she is the problem, that she does something wrong, that i maybe dont like or love her anymore, she even dropped a tear and asked me if it was her.

weak as i am, i didnt give her an answer, i was just deeply shocked.

i really had no idea how much my attitude influenced her, how much doupts she had about me, how can i blame her? i hide inside my house because of acne, it must look as if i dont want to see her anymore..

i thought i played my scene quite well, looking all secure about myself and stuff, but there just is no escaping the undenieable fact: I HAVE ACNE.

and that it made me depressed is one thing, but that it has so much influence on my girlfriend just breaks my heart.

i just wish i would have the courage to walk up to her and say: girl, im so sorry, it isnt you, it has never been you, it was always been me and my fucking insecureties because of this damned skin i have.

and the fact that i love her, but didnt dare to tell her this, just caused damage to our relationship.

god, i really really ask myself: why does she even stay with me? she has no reason at all, there are more handsome people out there, and they propably wouldnt even hurt her like i do..

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She really likes you. She possibly might love you. You're going to have to be honest with that girl soon. Tell her what gives you trouble. She's blaming herself right now, and we both know that's not the right thing for a woman to feel. You can show how much you trust in her by sharing those feelings.

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just really need to vent

last night, i had kind of a fight with my girlfriend, and acne is kind of the source of it.

it just really influences how i am, sometimes i feel so depressed because of it that i just get all grumpy and stuff, and sometimes i just want to hide inside my house, or in the dark.

thats what annoys her i think, but i just dont have the courage to tell her whats bothering me.

and frustrations just reached a level last night, where everything exploded.

and the most sad thing is, because of her lack of knowledge, she even blames herself.

she thinks that she is the problem, that she does something wrong, that i maybe dont like or love her anymore, she even dropped a tear and asked me if it was her.

weak as i am, i didnt give her an answer, i was just deeply shocked.

i really had no idea how much my attitude influenced her, how much doupts she had about me, how can i blame her? i hide inside my house because of acne, it must look as if i dont want to see her anymore..

i thought i played my scene quite well, looking all secure about myself and stuff, but there just is no escaping the undenieable fact: I HAVE ACNE.

and that it made me depressed is one thing, but that it has so much influence on my girlfriend just breaks my heart.

i just wish i would have the courage to walk up to her and say: girl, im so sorry, it isnt you, it has never been you, it was always been me and my fucking insecureties because of this damned skin i have.

and the fact that i love her, but didnt dare to tell her this, just caused damage to our relationship.

god, i really really ask myself: why does she even stay with me? she has no reason at all, there are more handsome people out there, and they propably wouldnt even hurt her like i do..

Do it for gods sake man

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I am doing the same thing with a guy I'm dating...When I was on accutane my breakouts got really bad for awhile. I refused to see him at all and he was convinced I was just blowing him off because I didn't really like him. Even now that my skin is finally looking pretty decent I still push him away. I thought all my problems would go away after my acne was gone, but it just seemed like no matter what I did to improve my physical appearance my self esteem was still so low. I know it's hard to be honest with her because it might be embarrassing but it seems like the best way to go if you want to continue an honest and healthy relationship (but then again I dont really take this advice!). Maybe talking it out with friends or a counselor-someone to vent to...and maybe try a new regime or go talk to a derm about your skin if it's really bothering you. Hope things work out, she seems to really like you!

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I'm the same, I find it really hard to bring up acne around certain people, like the guy I like. It's kind of a taboo subject even though I think about it all the time and how he might notice or think badly of it. But considering you're in a relationship and you love the girl, you have to tell her whats up. If she's feeling guilty, you have to make sure she knows it isnt her fault.. us girls have a way of over-analyzing everything.. I always think things are my fault. Don't lose her because of something that shouldn't even be a "real" problem in your relationship.

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I don't know if this helps, but when I became honest with my boyfriend about my insecurities I felt our relationship became stronger. Because he knows what's bothering me or what makes me feel insecure, he can do his best to be there for me during those times.

Let your girlfriend know what's up, it's only fair.

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sorry for the late reaction, ive been quite busy the last days..

just wanted to say thanks to everyone's supportive reaction, this forum is such a blessing..

anyway, ive apologized to my girl, ive spoken to her about why im the cause of our problems (such a releave)

but im still going to take some time to really explain to her how it is for me to live with acne, like most of you guys adviced, youre right, its only fair for her to know.

so thanks for the reactions!! and again: i cant tell enough how supportive this forum is at hard times, thanks acne.org!!! :D

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Dood..listen, u obviously have sum1 there who really cares about you and losing that wont make things any better. It seems like she likes you a whole lot so jus be honest wit her. 4get everything and just be strong about the situation. She'll understand or atleast try to and im sure she'll be there for u wenever u do feel down about your acne. Jus let her know shes not the problem b4 u lose sum1 important.

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