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At the age of 30, why is the status of my skin still THE most important thing in my life?

I have extremely sensitive skin with moderate acne/rosacea. I've been on topicals and antibiotics for the past 15 years of my life (no accutane). For the first time in my life...and I've had some freaking bad breakouts...people are asking what's wrong with my face. I've decided to throw in the towel after this last round of Doxy. I spent about an hour in the sun and developed this horrible rash/breakout all over my face! No more meds, cleansers, fancy gels, funky scrubs...forget it. My face is gettin' water from now on.

People don't get the depression. Sometimes I don't even get it. How can I be sad about THIS? At least I have all my limbs! I have 2 eyes! My family loves me! I'm smart! I'm fun! And dog gone it, people like me (stuart smalley anyone??)! Who cares about some silly bumps?!

OK this line of thinking isn't working any more. I need help accepting this is what I look like...and that it's OK! It's comforting to know I'm not the only person who runs to the mirror every morning with their fingers crossed, or cancels plans at the last minute, or hates to be seen without makeup, or....the list goes on and on...YOU get it. And I find that comforting. That someone gets it. I hope someone reads this and maybe laughs, b/c these neurotic tendencies can't be neurotic if tons of people feel this way! So for now I just keep wishin"........maybe tomorrow will be better!

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Dont beat yourself up.Acne at any age is terrible,but by the time we are in our thirties,we feel as though we should be past all this acne crap by now.It is almost MORE embarrassing to be this old and have acne,because we are grown ups and expected to "have it all together".

On the other hand,we arent as emotional as teens (speak for yourself,LOL) and more used to the hurdles life throws at us,so maybe we should be able to deal with it better...Sometimes knowing that doesnt make it any easier though.Sometimes we need to hear the words that it will be ok and to be reassured as well.

I really recommend this book called HEALING ADULT ACNE by Richard G. Fried.It really helped me alot and it deals with the physical AND emotional effects of acne.

Also,you arent supposed to be in the sun when you're on Doxy...so that's probably why you got that rash.So dont give up.Eventually,something WILL work for you.In the meantime,try not to expect yourself to be so perfect.Everyone has flaws,it's just us folks with acne cant hide ours as well! :cool:

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Thanks for the kind words Charlotte...i try to tell myself the same but it's always more helpful to hear it from someone else....and i'm gonna check out that book!

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I don't think you're shallow. Pretty much everyone exposed to the media, especially American media, has been taunted by perfection all their lives. This is just one of many negative effects of the media. To make things worse, the media is nearly impossible to escape. I hear people saying all the time that its what inside that counts and that's what you should focus on, which I agree with, but its about a billion times easier said than done. Personally, I find it hard to focus on much else with my acne'd up mug glaring back at me in the mirror every day lol. Keep trying until you find what works for you wish01.

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You're not shallow, this is a normal reaction. Your face is so closely linked with your identity, they're almost coterminous. In our logical minds, of course, we realize that this is a fallacy; Your mind, your personality, and, if you're of the religous bent, your soul, have little if anything to do with your physical appearance. And yet, when people think of you it's your face that they think of, your face that they connect with the body of information about your life, your face that they consider to be you. When there's something wrong with your face, whatsoever it may be, it undermines your basic sense of self. It feels like a miring of your identity. You begin to fear that when people think of you, they think primarily or even exclusively of your disfigurement, and so the idea that your appearance is undermining your personality sets in.

So no, you're not shallow, just human.

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Im the same way wish01. I am constantly checking myself in the mirror and I get very very upset about acne. Im glad to know Im not the only one who has people constantly walk up to me and go, "What happened to your face?" Would you walk up to someone who has cancer and go, "What happened to your hair?" Its so insensitive and people should think before they speak.

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Maybe but if so isn't everyone a little bit? I mean I keep looking and wishing I could have not ending up in this place if I had been healthier. I also see a lot of other benefits. I also look and wonder if I had lost weight sooner how much better my life would have been. And then I see the one of the other things how did I get myself to here? Why did I screw my health over and get acne all at the same time? I am depressed about it meanwhile other people are suffering with issues like how they don't get food or are poor. Maybe it's the fact that we can sorta do something about it that makes us depressed? At least that's why I'm upset over it because it wasn't to me "destiny" but that sure is what the hell I made it. I also wish I was taller. Everyone is a little vain at least I think so anyway. Who doesn't want to look like a model and they are probably lying.

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You're not shallow, this is a normal reaction. Your face is so closely linked with your identity, they're almost coterminous. In our logical minds, of course, we realize that this is a fallacy; Your mind, your personality, and, if you're of the religous bent, your soul, have little if anything to do with your physical appearance. And yet, when people think of you it's your face that they think of, your face that they connect with the body of information about your life, your face that they consider to be you. When there's something wrong with your face, whatsoever it may be, it undermines your basic sense of self. It feels like a miring of your identity. You begin to fear that when people think of you, they think primarily or even exclusively of your disfigurement, and so the idea that your appearance is undermining your personality sets in.

So no, you're not shallow, just human.

So eloquent. So insightful. So true! :clap:

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'Tis true, our appearance effectively is our identity. Theoretically, character flaws should be worse than physical flaws...but not once have I ever heard someone lament over being too bossy, too stubborn, too talkative, etc...

So i broke down and bought some neutrogena foaming wash or something along those lines. Kicking cetaphil to the curb, and plain water just ain't cuttin in. We'll see how it goes.

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