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Okay, I hate the way I look sometimes. I am getting wrinkles, I have a ruddy complexion and I am going gray. I didn't mind the gray hair, or the wrinkles, but now it's bugging me. On top of that , I have battled acne. A real good torture for my soul.

But not only do I get tormented on the way I look sometimes, but I think I am projecting that on my significant other. She, does not care what she looks like. However, I am silently tormented on the way she looks. In my mind I nitpick on her physicals imperfections just like I nitpick on mine!

IT'S REALLY DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!

I think I better start seeing a therapist. What do you think?

By the way, I'm married and I am 48.

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Okay, I hate the way I look sometimes. I am getting wrinkles, I have a ruddy complexion and I am going gray. I didn't mind the gray hair, or the wrinkles, but now it's bugging me. On top of that , I have battled acne. A real good torture for my soul.

But not only do I get tormented on the way I look sometimes, but I think I am projecting that on my significant other. She, does not care what she looks like. However, I am silently tormented on the way she looks. In my mind I nitpick on her physicals imperfections just like I nitpick on mine!

IT'S REALLY DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!

I think I better start seeing a therapist. What do you think?

I have that too. I just care for myself though not others.

I don't think you need to see a therapist to be honest. Just work on your own issues. If you can't stop thinking of your girl's imperfections.. Get a new one I guess Lolz.

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Lol u mad?

and also *In before mod's move this topic to lounge.*

I think you should talk to your partner about it before the therapist atleast. Tell her this problem.

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Lol u mad?

and also *In before mod's move this topic to lounge.*

I think you should talk to your partner about it before the therapist atleast. Tell her this problem.

No, I'm not mad at all. I just want to fix this problem. Because it's driving me crazy.

:)

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Sure, go see a therapist and get diagnosed. Do you have the symptoms? If you see a therapist, they will probably suggest CBT.

BeautifulSkinAngel. Huh. Kind of sends a mixed message. :think:

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Sure, go see a therapist and get diagnosed. Do you have the symptoms? If you see a therapist, they will probably suggest CBT.

BeautifulSkinAngel. Huh. Kind of sends a mixed message. :think:

What is CBT?

As for my name, I can dream, can't I?

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Cognitive behavior therapy. More information can be found here

Of course you can dream. And I thought your user name was beautifulskinANGEL, not again. Misread that. Sorry.

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hey i also feel like that alot of times.Sometimes i look at myself in the mirror andf i just feel ugly.i also suffer from acne but thank god its cleared up now.i just have 2 or 3 dark marks to get rid off and thats the thing thats been bugging me the most lately.its even worse cos im indian therefore dark marks take like 2 months to fade away.

everytime i c my bf now i use foundation to hide the marks but i hate that cos i just wanna be natural with him .He says it doesnt matter cos he still loves me so i think im the one with the insecurity problem. Hey how long does it take for tissue oil to fade marks??

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Yeah therapy sounds a good idea, i have to see a therapist cuz of BDD too .

Why did you marry her if you don't like the fact she doesn't take pride in her appearance ?

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I would definitely second the notion of getting some sort of counseling not only for yourself but for your marriage as well if you think it's BDD territory. If the feelings you're having is enough to negatively impact your daily life then you should seek help, and if you have these feelings towards your wife you seriously need to sort them out before it creates bigger problems than not liking the way she looks--if you don't communicate how you're feeling, it'll fester and cause much bigger issues. You have to see what exactly bugs you about her--are you turned off because she doesn't put a ton of time/effort into her appearance, does it frustrate you, etc. And you definitely have to get yourself into a healthy mindset to save not only your marriage but yourself.

Uri, I totally feel where you're coming from, btw. My fiance (soon to be husband) is the same way where he says he doesn't care and that I don't need the makeup but it seems it isn't enough for me. We want to believe them, and to not worry about some stupid marks on our face around those we love the most but it's always on our minds. I *constantly* wear foundation from the moment I wake up till I go to bed, and I check on it constantly throughout the day, even if I'm working I'll sneak into the bathrooms to check my makeup because I want to make sure it's absolutely flawless--which is something none of us will ever achieve. And like you sometimes I just look in the mirror and I get so upset and frustrated with what I see because even though it could be a thousand times worse, at that moment in time I get so focused on those blemishes I have, or the old red marks that I just feel absolutely hideous and forget that most people probably don't even notice them. It's just one of those never-ending cycles, and hopefully one of these days we'll be able to break them and be genuinely happy with ourselves, but it'll more likely than not take loads of hard work.

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not BDD, more like OCD in some form or other :s

I am like this, a lot of peope are like this, unless it begins to seriously impact on your relationship and social life then I think its fine.

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CBT has not done shit for me. Although I tend to think BDD is like an eating disorder, and I can tell that my clinician knows nothing about eating disorders. I'm going on antidepressants and/or ADHD meds next week anyway. Really don't think antidepressants will do anything, it's the accutane from which I'm waiting for an impact.

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Why do you care about wrinkles? I have wrinkles, and I'm a 20 year old female. I like them 'caus they show I belong to my family. I looked, and we all have them the same. Even my 6 year old brother. Is it actually frustrting to have wrinkles, or do you feel like it's your fault you got them too soon?? You can always change your habits? I found my 'wrinkles' highly frustrating, until I realised they were genetic, and not in any way my fault. Now I LIKE them.

And on the grey hair front...My boyfriends got some grey hairs he's 19.. wow im not making us early agers sound good over here lol.

GOD DANM IT SOCIETY WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO PEOPLE :mad:

And what is it your wife does that annoys you? Have you considered the possibility that u may be resentful towards her, as you battled acne so hard, and she (i'm guessing) didn't? Or is it just the fact that she doesn't take care of her appearance? I would figure exactly what it is you feel shes doing thats irritating you, work out a reasonable way around it, and then speak to her. Tread carefully though. I've often regretted things I've said/done after having spoken to a councillor about the things that caused me to do them. If that makes sense..

Therapy is always an option. If you feel you're struggling to cope alone, then definatly go someone whose trained to help. Once you've made up your mind, go as quickly as they'll let you. Good luck :angel:

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wow. i'm short a guy with acne scars all over. and I look at my body in a bad way as well but I guess it's hard I mean it's your body afterall. I never looked at my body as being so imperfect as I am now which as a kid I didn't even see myself as short now that's all I think about.

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