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Well, today I decided to check my old myspace pictures. What i found brings me great devastation. I took my old life so much for granted. I complained about the littlest zits and imperfections. I looked at my photo comments and i have 20 from the girls at my school saying how good looking i WAS. Now i dont get any of that. My friends and family think its my attitude, but I say otherwise. Acne has ruined me. I know it sounds all dramatic and doom and gloom but even as a male this has torn down my confidence and made me so self conscious and depressed about my appearance. I no longer think of myself as at all desirable or good looking. I have some superficial (i guess) indented acne scars but they bother me like anyone else's.

It just, the word SCARS. It disgusts me. I joke about it with my friends and family but it tears me apart inside. I am NOT suicidal at ALL by the way, I love my life and the people in it. I have so much to live for. It just sucks so badly that I spend all my time obsessed with my skin, something I feel I have no control over. My breakouts arent too horrible anymore, I take great care of my skin & finished accutane 3 months ago. The scars I have I'd say are around .1-.4mm (ish, some less maybe) so they really ARENT bad. I am so dramatic about them. It just bums me out so much that I havent dated a girl since my acne got bad, where i used to date whenever i got the opportunity. It has ruined a LOT of highschool experiences for me that i skipped out on. I resent myself for doing this to myself but I still sympathize with why i shy away at times. Also I easily blush and sometimes flush which has been exacerbated by accutane. that doesn't help me at all in social situations either. in 8th and most of 9th (til the acne got worse) I was very social, happy, and was constantly dating. I guess life had to change for me someday. Now look where I am. Barely enough friends to feel satisfied. Well, I dont know why anyone would care to read this story but if anyone does and has any advice or comments that are constructive/nice that they would like to share, then please do so. I feel for everyone on this forum, we all suffer everyday and are stronger than many will ever know.

If anyone has experience with the Fraxel repair (i know super ablative and scary but not too risky) and knows whether it can totally remove the scarring i described, please tell me, because the fractional part confuses me. If it is fractional how could it totally remove a scar, wouldnt it only remove little parts of it? I am also debating dermabrasion or if I should try microdermabrasion first and if it could possibly be of any help. Thanks guys.

:]]

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