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newlife23

another day in my life (a blessing or a curse)

hello guys the first time i had acne was when i was 15 and im 19 now... i didnt think of my face when i was young coz i thought it would go away and stuff.. i tried different products which helped me at first but as years passes by i am slowly scarring.. and im now 19 with terrible scars! few in my chicks and several in my temple...

i had an excision and it helped quite a bit...

my 12 mm deep scar is now replaced by a faint line but the other scars excised just do not look ok...

when i was young i used to party go to crowds and indulge with people.. im discreet gay and i was quite popular with boys coz i had several bfs before....

but now i am left with these scars... at first i dont mind it coz i thought it will level with my skin soon.. but i was wrong.. i wasnt informed about acne and now im a scar sufferer..

i noticed that my self confidence has gone down to a point i dont do the things i love to do.. like going out dating people,,. damn it!

all i do i cry.. even in my dreams my scar haunts me! i think im losing it,, im going nuts.. i've been thinking to kill myself coz i dont feel like living anymore... whats the point of living if you're dead inside...

i am not hoping for a clear skin im just hoping to be normal!

i dont want others to look at me coz of my scarring.. i want them to look in my eyes..

some of my friends know how i feel about this but they doint know how depressed i am.. well my family does and they are supportive... my sis told me to just accept it but i cant.. i envy my family coz they have clear skin,, i think i dont fit in my family...

i used to be a model for teenagers b4 i got these..

actually when people see my pics in my multiply they still offers me work but i refused to because of my scars... do you know how to feel when you're in a perfect looking crowd and you know how trashy you look because of scars? i got several friends from highschool who looks good so i envy them... i envy their skin..

i want to indulge with crowds but i cant anymore because of these scars,,im hiding like shit! whenever i see an old friend at the mall, i immediately run and look for a place to hide so that they cant see me... im feeling dead inside.. im not living at all.....

i wanna die but i dont have the guts to do it.....

been pondering about this.....

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Hi, newlife23

I am very sorry to hear that you are having a very hard time coping with acne/scars, but please check with a counselor on this issue. While you may voice various issues at the Emotional and psychological effects of acne forum, we strongly feel this is not a suitable place to share suicidal thoughts with other members. I strongly encourage you to seek professional assistance on this matter.

Information about professional assistance can be found here:

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/resources...lai-t16184.html

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