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daylight_dancer

"When my acne goes, everything in my life will be better..."

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Does anyone else feel like this?

I have ingrained it into myself that acne is stopping me from living my life to the full, whatever that actually means. I know it's stupid, but I feel like I can't be myself until I have clear skin. I want to pick out drab clothes and be invisible while I have it. I shy away from the idea of having a boyfriend, and making new friends. I have this vague fantasy image of what it's going to be like when it's gone, where I'll be confident and happy and able to wear awesome clothes and talk to people easier.

I know it's pretty silly to equate happiness with clear skin (when I have no idea when and if my acne will go) but I can't help it. Acne is just such a massive presence in my life, I'm constantly aware of it so when/if it goes I'll feel like I'll actually be able to breathe again. I just wish I could try and be happy now, instead of pinning it to some vague time in the future.

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^ I feel exactly like that.

Most days, before school, I just dab on some foundation and feel blech and don't make up my hair or go out with friends or buy pretty clothes...

But I have this vague image of my "clear" self putting on some powder and mascara and running out the door with flawless skin, being happy, outgoing, and considered "attractive" by others.

... I don't know how to get out of this mindset, because I feel like you do: "Acne" isn't me and I can never fully be me when I have acne.

Hmm...

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I think there is some truth in it, when I have acne like now Im a complete recluse but last year after finishing roaccutane I was completely clear and I was a different person! Was out all the time and much more sociable and had girlfriends and went traveling to the US....in fact it was like the minute I stepped back in my own country my acne came back! Knew I should stayed away

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Trust me, it's not the case. I thought the same exact thing. Yes, things improve, but you it won't be a day/night difference. Being acne-less does not translate into a great life.

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^ I feel exactly like that.

Most days, before school, I just dab on some foundation and feel blech and don't make up my hair or go out with friends or buy pretty clothes...

But I have this vague image of my "clear" self putting on some powder and mascara and running out the door with flawless skin, being happy, outgoing, and considered "attractive" by others.

... I don't know how to get out of this mindset, because I feel like you do: "Acne" isn't me and I can never fully be me when I have acne.

Hmm...

This is exactly how I feel. I refuse to accept that this is me. I don't know why but I just can't be myself with acne.. I also always picture myself when I'll finally be free and clear and will finally be me again.

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Trust me, it's not the case. I thought the same exact thing. Yes, things improve, but you it won't be a day/night difference. Being acne-less does not translate into a great life.

Yeah, that's the thing, I know that clear skin won't magically make all my problems go away, or turn me into the person I think I should be, but I still cling on to that notion. I know having acne seriously sucks, but sometimes I wonder if in some ways, I'm hiding behind it and actually stopping myself, rather than it stopping me. It's just so hard to feel remotely good about yourself when you have it.

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hi,

yeh i feel exactly the same i feel like my life wont be complete until my acne has gone. i shy away from having a boyfriend, i havent had one in the last two years becasue of my acne (i think!), i also try to avoid social situations like the plague because of my acne!!!! doesnt it just drive you insane!!

keep smiling! :)

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It would make me happier, but I would just find something else that bothers me that I want to change, it wouldn't improve my life 100%.

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okay well take it from me....NO IT WILL NOT STOP ALL YOUR PROBLEMS...infact it will be the start in a way.

I had some minor/moderate acne for about 2 years, i thought the same but when it went I was left with sum minor scarring...this made having acne baby cakes in comparison to tbhis scar...well here I am a year later (18) from having no breakouts and my scarring pretty much gone and I'm only just starting to realise that i dont look like a freak in the sun light...plus now girls are showing more interest in me where as before they didn't (well different girls from a differenmt place but u get me)...it;s kinda iffy that one cuz ya feel kinda fake after acne..

onceit goes just shake your head wash your hands of it and just comform back into the shallow world we live in hahaha

good luck u will all make it eventually

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Oh you guys...

That mascara, a touch of concealer and breezily walking out the door, into a beautiful sunny day in my perfect life! I can relate to that so much.

This sounds so strange to say out aloud - but here goes..

I buy beautiful clothes, and jewelry and imagine how I would wear them, (i love fashion which is an ironic thing considering the horrible skin I wake up to every morning...) Then, these pieces I covert, simply sit, unworn in my wardrobe because I refuse to devalue their beauty by wearing them while im so ugly!

Its so sad that its funny, the silly things/habits you form when you suffer from acne.

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Oh you guys...

That mascara, a touch of concealer and breezily walking out the door, into a beautiful sunny day in my perfect life! I can relate to that so much.

This sounds so strange to say out aloud - but here goes..

I buy beautiful clothes, and jewelry and imagine how I would wear them, (i love fashion which is an ironic thing considering the horrible skin I wake up to every morning...) Then, these pieces I covert, simply sit, unworn in my wardrobe because I refuse to devalue their beauty by wearing them while im so ugly!

Its so sad that its funny, the silly things/habits you form when you suffer from acne.

I do this too! I have a closet full of clothes but I stick to wearing the same "safe" outfits all the time b/c don't see the point of wearing my nice things/ doing my hair if my face looks bad...

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Oh you guys...

That mascara, a touch of concealer and breezily walking out the door, into a beautiful sunny day in my perfect life! I can relate to that so much.

This sounds so strange to say out aloud - but here goes..

I buy beautiful clothes, and jewelry and imagine how I would wear them, (i love fashion which is an ironic thing considering the horrible skin I wake up to every morning...) Then, these pieces I covert, simply sit, unworn in my wardrobe because I refuse to devalue their beauty by wearing them while im so ugly!

Its so sad that its funny, the silly things/habits you form when you suffer from acne.

I do this too! I have a closet full of clothes but I stick to wearing the same "safe" outfits all the time b/c don't see the point of wearing my nice things/ doing my hair if my face looks bad...

That's what make up is for. MWAHAHAHA.

:)

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You're going through a stage. I was there.

Creating a fantasy image will only let you down. Try a realistic approach. Chances are you won't have acne forever. Equating happiness with clear skin is incorrect. Happiness is separate from the pressures of life. The minute you stop associating your true feelings from the real world is when you can truly know what it's like to have freedom. Don't be afraid to be original.

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There are some good responses here already, but I have to say that it's wonderful that you realize that acne affects your entire state of being. And that you want to be happy.

As you have already said, you wish acne didn't affect you as much. Instead of just trying to 'pretend' to be happy or ignoring your acne, embrace the fact that it annoys you. After that period of time has passed, go look at yourself in a mirror. A full length one is best, but if you are feeling brave I'd suggest just a regular 'facial mirror'. Say, out loud, one thing you like about yourself. Do this everyday with something new.

I know everybody has bad periods of their life and low self-esteem, but the danger in this mentality is that it will become more than a period of your life, and will extend to become a mainstay. I don't want that for you, or for anyone.

In this type of situation, the best thing to do is to take little steps because building up a new perception on yourself takes time, and no matter if you have setbacks, I know you will get there eventually. =)

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yeah acne does suck but it's not the end of the world. People could honestly care less what your face looks like even at it's worst moment. The only one that really cares about it is you. But stay positive it's only acne and it will go away.

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Guest Chrisâ„¢

I had severe acne in my teenage years, I always said to myself "damn, I would give anything to have no more acne". Years later, I went on 2 courses of accutane and the acne stopped forming and went away. Then I was left with terrible scarring where they used to be (which I still live with to this day, almost 10 years later). I made peace (the best that I can) with the fact that my scars are so bad that I'll always have severe scars for the rest of my life, even if I went through every scar treatment possible. Cruising down the road of life my brother and his fiancee then both are killed at the age of 25 in a fire. Now, times are rough with the bad economy, losing my job, and having virtually no social life and struggling just to pay basic bills.

What I'm trying to say is, life is a fucking bitch. Not only for us who have sufferred with acne and scarring and the emotional scarring, but also for everyone that you would never expect to have a hard time in life. Once you get the problems of your life under control, that's when the shit hits the fan, and you start all over with a whole new set of problems.

I completely sympathise with what you are going through, Daylight Dancer, I have been there. All I am trying to say is, as you get older and time goes on, you will realize that everyone goes through rough times, nobody is excluded. Some much worse than others. You just have to make the best of whatever problems are thrown your way, and keep truckin' on the best you can. What else can we do?

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thats what i felt like. But the truth is your acne doesn't have to be gone to feel better. My skin is just hugely significantly better than when i had severe acne and im greatly happier. I still have scars and my skin isn't perfect but im still pretty happy now. Even times when I had kinda bad acne I would forget I had it if I was having fun.

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I feel the exact same way,I know that having clear skin wouldn't make my problems fade away, and the truth is when the acne is finally gone I will find myself a new set of problems to complain about, but having clear skin will definitely change my life to the better,even in my current situation when my skin shows the slightest improvement I tend to be a more confident,social and outgoing person and to my surprise a happier person, so imagine what 100% clear skin would do :)

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being without acne will def make my life better, not drastically, but it will def. help with my confidence.

it would be soo good to not have to base whether or not i am going out on the condition of my skin that day.

or to not worry about people staring at my skin

i guess it does sound kind of stupid how some of us focus so much attention on our skin when theres so much more to life, but when you have acne, it really does affect you emotionally.

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What a beautiful title to a topic and that's the way to think make things right once the worse is over you have come a long way.

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I know exactly what you mean. And for some people, clearing of acne would mean a better life. I think I'm intelligent enough, not ugly (without acne) and have an interesting personality -- I believe I'm basically a decent person, but I don't feel like putting myself out there when I look so ugly. Acne has shoved itself to the forefront of my life, and it's about the biggest problem I currently have. It makes me feel inadequate, disfigured, diseased and worthless. If my skin cleared, I'd be able to go out with my friends without feeling like shit about my face the entire time, and I'd be able to actually hold down a relationship without growing distant because of my greasy, ugly skin.

Lots of people say curing your acne won't cure your problems, but in my case being clear would make me feel about 90% better about everything in my life.

I totally agree with you..I basically fell the same way!!

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Maybe that is true. I've seen many stories of members getting their lives back by clearing up. However, this doesn't mean life automatically becomes easier. The real world problems start to resurface. Think about how tough life is. When you get clear skin, you start to pick at other physical imperfections. Then you have financial issues that need to worked out, credit score, worrying about paying off student loans, getting an apartment and car, finding decent health insurance, hoping to save enough to buy a house, and then the dream to retire. Marriage, kids, and finding/keeping a job in a rough economy. It never ends. Clear skin feels like a luxury to have in a tough world.
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I understand. You feel like acne compounds the problems that I mentioned. Skin would be a simple thing in an ideal world, but it isn't. I know it sucks, duchamp, but I'm at a new point in my life. I think we're the same age, and I still get a breakout here and there. I look at the real world, and it is intimidating to think of all the problems. I'm trying to re-prioritize what should come first in my life. In my opinion, the problems I mentioned far outweigh acne. However, you're entitled to your opinion.
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Does anyone else feel like this?

I have ingrained it into myself that acne is stopping me from living my life to the full, whatever that actually means. I know it's stupid, but I feel like I can't be myself until I have clear skin. I want to pick out drab clothes and be invisible while I have it. I shy away from the idea of having a boyfriend, and making new friends. I have this vague fantasy image of what it's going to be like when it's gone, where I'll be confident and happy and able to wear awesome clothes and talk to people easier.

I know it's pretty silly to equate happiness with clear skin (when I have no idea when and if my acne will go) but I can't help it. Acne is just such a massive presence in my life, I'm constantly aware of it so when/if it goes I'll feel like I'll actually be able to breathe again. I just wish I could try and be happy now, instead of pinning it to some vague time in the future.

I've felt like that. I am 100% clear. I don't like my scars. Although is not that bad. But I would spend hundreds to get rid of it! To be honest, life is still the same. I have a feeling that I will never going to have a GF. I am too shy. But I am enjoying my life. I am in college. I'm learning grammar/reading&writing at the moment. It's fun! I have a bad job. I just want to finish college to have better job! And start a new life

Oh, and I am in the gym, and I go out constantly.

When I had acne, I used to stay home playing computer games.

I said to myself " If I get more break out, I will quit my job and go to Puerto Rico"

Seems like everyone is clear in Puerto Rico. Perhaps I could be clear if I go there.

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Just wondering, have you cleared up significantly, or have you just come to terms with your skin? I've read plenty of more optimistic posts on here, but a lot of the time they've been by people who have had acne but gotten it under control. That said, I totally get where you're coming from and think it's a much more reasonable (and realistic) approach than mine. I guess the same problems just have vastly different effects on different people, though.

Well, yes. I have cleared up significantly. I could understand your skepticism. Coming to terms with your skin can be very difficult. I had severe acne with whiteheads scattered across my forehead and temples.

Everyone deals with their problems in a different way.

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