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i start back at school tomorrow ..

im dreading it, as soon as im back at school all these old emotions and feelings arise and i end up feeling depressed and suicidal. i always feel so ugly and disgusting in school, and i hate looking in the toilet mirrors as i just see myself as this gross ogre with disgusting red, spotty, oily skin. Whats worse is ive just started dans BP regimen and ive come out in horrible red rashes all over my face and i know that someone is going to point it out and make me feel like complete shit. i cant face going back to immature little boys who take the piss out of me, and girls who complain about one tiny spot on there face even though there skin is flawless. I always get insulted at school, and i always come home feeling like the ugliest person alive. Its not just that, i just hate the whole way school systemises. Its all about being popular and beautiful, which to me is absolutely ridiculous and extremely shallow. I couldnt give a rats ass about being popular, and i think its a bunch of bullshit. But everyone else seems to care, and if your not beautiful then your fucked as far as there concerned. All these boys seem to find orange, thong hanging out of there ass girls attractive, and i just dont understand it. Im the ugly one at school. Im not even ugly, and outside of school i do get a few guys looking (when i have a mask of makeup on ofcourse hehe) which makes me feel better, and being outside of school i feel ok. But inside of school, i just feel defeated, and i feel like im constantly trying to make myself pretty (slapping makeup on, doing hair, blotting skin etc) with no prevail. Im just tired of feeling fake, and im tired of trying to impress other people. Im so fed up of feeling ugly in school, and i cant understand why i do feel ugly.

does anyone else feel like this? i really want to know if its just me, or if there are other people who feel this way.

wow, sorry this is a really long rant, so sorry for it being so long, and respect to you if you read it. I just need to get this off my chest.

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I know exactly how you feel , back when i was in school (thank the lord im out now) i felt exactly the same as you do . I felt like school was just a big act. Everyone just acted like they did and did what they did to follow the crowd.

Just try and remember and think to yourself how confident you are when your not at school and try to be yourself. Try not to think about what other people think about you, i mean if people are going to judge you on how you look are they worth trying to impress or worth even getting to know? Hope this makes u feel a bit better :)

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I know exactly how you feel , back when i was in school (thank the lord im out now) i felt exactly the same as you do . I felt like school was just a big act. Everyone just acted like they did and did what they did to follow the crowd.

Just try and remember and think to yourself how confident you are when your not at school and try to be yourself. Try not to think about what other people think about you, i mean if people are going to judge you on how you look are they worth trying to impress or worth even getting to know? Hope this makes u feel a bit better :)

thank you it does make me feel better :) it is one big joke, when everybody is so false and shallow. I will try to keep that confidence but it is extremely difficult when everyone around you is bringing you down in some way or another.

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How old are you? I used to feel the same way when I was 14-16 but then I found ways to take care of myself and my skin and school became a whole lot easier. Surround yourself with good friends! This is very important especially for young girls.

I'm graduating on Thursday and I couldn't be happier to leave behind all this high-school crap lol. Time goes by so quickly and in the end you'll realise popularity and being cool didn't matter at all!

Don't worry everyone has gone through what you're experiencing :D !

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The more I read people's stories on this forum, the more grateful I feel for my friends. Never, never have I had an issue with my friends (or even acquaintances/total strangers) regarding my acne or their own (if they even have it). It's just me and my own self-consciousness. I should be very thankful for the truly wonderful people I have in my life... and I'm in high school, where the cruel sneak about and prey upon the insecure and defenseless. I guess it just goes to show they're not all bad.

(Not that my high school life has been flawless, mind you--who's ever is?--but as far as physical appearance issues I have had none...)

I hope you and everyone else are able to find friends like that, who don't care if you have some spots on your face and care for you as a person. Best of luck with your year ahead--and just be optimistic! It's a new year; a fresh start. Kick it off with a fresh new attitude. ;)

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The primary focus should be on your education. However, I can easily relate to your situation. The antidote is accepting your image. Instead of bashing your appearance, and lowering your self-esteem, make a conscious effort to enhance your spirit. The reason you feel helpless is because you're ignoring the inner spirit. It needs your attention, and it's starving for a different outlook. Expand your views by reading books that encourage the mind to make a connection with the spirit. Become a whole person.

High school doesn't last forever.

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WOW i give you props for going to school!

I mean im a fckn pussy (Excuse the language) at least u go and here i am sitting at home during a school day putting shit on my face to see if i could make it the next day..it sucks but right now you just gave my inspiration to go to school even if i look hideous")

Dont worry well get out of skool soon and they will forget all bout you and we will forget them")

Its okay you are NOT alone in this never ending battle")

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WOW i give you props for going to school!

I mean im a fckn pussy (Excuse the language) at least u go and here i am sitting at home during a school day putting shit on my face to see if i could make it the next day..it sucks but right now you just gave my inspiration to go to school even if i look hideous")

Dont worry well get out of skool soon and they will forget all bout you and we will forget them")

Its okay you are NOT alone in this never ending battle")

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The more I read people's stories on this forum, the more grateful I feel for my friends. Never, never have I had an issue with my friends (or even acquaintances/total strangers) regarding my acne or their own (if they even have it). It's just me and my own self-consciousness. I should be very thankful for the truly wonderful people I have in my life... and I'm in high school, where the cruel sneak about and prey upon the insecure and defenseless. I guess it just goes to show they're not all bad.

(Not that my high school life has been flawless, mind you--who's ever is?--but as far as physical appearance issues I have had none...)

I hope you and everyone else are able to find friends like that, who don't care if you have some spots on your face and care for you as a person. Best of luck with your year ahead--and just be optimistic! It's a new year; a fresh start. Kick it off with a fresh new attitude. ;)

you are very lucky :angel: i went to school ... it sucked lol my skin was unbelievably oily .. in PE someone even asked if i was sweating ( i wasnt ) ... huh :(

i know i have to try not to let people or feelings get me down ... haha i do think a new attitude is in mind :)

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The primary focus should be on your education. However, I can easily relate to your situation. The antidote is accepting your image. Instead of bashing your appearance, and lowering your self-esteem, make a conscious effort to enhance your spirit. The reason you feel helpless is because you're ignoring the inner spirit. It needs your attention, and it's starving for a different outlook. Expand your views by reading books that encourage the mind to make a connection with the spirit. Become a whole person.

High school doesn't last forever.

i know that my education is very important .. but it is also important to enjoy some aspect of school or you will just be miserable ... and at the moment i do feel miserable :(

haha im glad school doesnt last forever ... it just seems like everyone is so immature and superficial and i just dont know how to have any self esteem when everyone around me is destroying it ...

after all .. many people rely on other people to keep there self esteem afloat .. and im one of those people

yes i do need to concentrate more on the whole package rather than looks ..

thankyou for your advice :angel:

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WOW i give you props for going to school!

I mean im a fckn pussy (Excuse the language) at least u go and here i am sitting at home during a school day putting shit on my face to see if i could make it the next day..it sucks but right now you just gave my inspiration to go to school even if i look hideous")

Dont worry well get out of skool soon and they will forget all bout you and we will forget them")

Its okay you are NOT alone in this never ending battle")

thankyou this has made me feel ten times better :)

i have thought so many times about making an excuse so that i can go home ( period pain or stomach ache) but i know my education is too important ..

go to school .. its really hard but i just have to ignore people and ignore every reflective surface in school hehe!

its good to know im not the only one, and as soon as i do finish school i definitely will forget the pricks that make me feel like this!

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WOW i give you props for going to school!

I mean im a fckn pussy (Excuse the language) at least u go and here i am sitting at home during a school day putting shit on my face to see if i could make it the next day..it sucks but right now you just gave my inspiration to go to school even if i look hideous")

Dont worry well get out of skool soon and they will forget all bout you and we will forget them")

Its okay you are NOT alone in this never ending battle")

thankyou this has made me feel ten times better :)

i have thought so many times about making an excuse so that i can go home ( period pain or stomach ache) but i know my education is too important ..

go to school .. its really hard but i just have to ignore people and ignore every reflective surface in school hehe!

its good to know im not the only one, and as soon as i do finish school i definitely will forget the pricks that make me feel like this!

yeah, forget the pricks. that's the right attitude : ) my friend used to say "when someone treats you like shit, find comfort in that you'll move on and they'll most likely still be an insecure asshole."

does your school have any clubs or activities that you're interested in? for me, it was always a nice escape to participate in something i really loved.

just know that the longer you're in your own skin, the more comfortable you'll be with yourself. it takes time, but it's really liberating when you realize that you are so much more than what people say about you or how they perceive the way you look.

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