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this is tougher 2nd time round

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This is my 2nd course now and the fact I actually thought that this time round was going to be a breeze is something thats totally gone out the window. I'd say this has been alot tougher than the 1st course by far especially emotionally. I cant say I havent had bad breakout because I have and at this stage its not what getting to me (or maybe its playing a major part in what is) but for the past 3-3 1/2 months now Im just suffering emotionally and have been depressed on and off through the course and probably a big part of this is the scars and in general the state of the appearence of my skin. why is it that the scars didnt seem to appear as prominent when I finished the 1st course as they do now. In such a short space of time my skin appears to have just scared terribly and I dont understand because I didnt think my breakouts were as bad as what the scars appear especially when they are in places that I never had the breakouts. strange!

I just feel so much preasure inside of me because I cant speak to people about this kind of stuff and when I do its always the same answer "what!?.. theres nothing there!" how can I belive them when I can see it with my own eyes when I look in the mirror... as much as I try to avoid them. this time last year I was the happiest I had been in many years and just enjoying having amazing skin with compliment after compliment from friends and family. It just doesnt seem like it'll happen again because the scars are whats getting in the way.

Rant over!!

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It's such a dilemma when others don't see what you see, or perhaps they do, but are just being nice, or maybe they really don't and it's just in your head. I know exactly what you mean.

We totally understand what you're going through. It's not really the compliments we're after (although they're wonderful). It's the 'no comments at all' that is the ultimate goal. We know and we're all wanting the same thing. Rant all you want to. That's what we're here for. :comfort:

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Thanx siava, I guess its something I wont know. I know they are there and maybe they are not as ugly as I picture them. I guess we examine our faces to much and thats why I try to turn away from all mirrors I see or else I'll just pick fault constantly and dig myself into a bigger hole where I'll find it harder to get out of.

I guess compliments helped buid my confidence back up but then again I wondered at the time were they just saying it for the sake of it, but then you get the people that havent seen you in so long and are totally confused as to why you look soo different... I didnt tell them of course because at the time I had skin like theres.

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I am on my second course as well and can also say that when people tell us the second course is always easier or the same as the last (like my derm!) I just want to yell at them. I had a very mild initial break out on my first course and a quite severe one on the second, to the point where I didn't want to leave my room.

I also had emotional spells the first month but I completely know it had to do with my horrible IB. I am also a lot more tired and working out hurts a lot more than I remember on my first course. I am clear now and my IB is completely gone. I too have red marks but they are fading and have been going away for past two weeks. I haven't gotten a zit since my IB. My grandmother said my skin looked fabulous and I told her, "Yeah I have some red marks though." And she was like, "What are you talking about?" She had no idea I had them.

I think after having such PERFECT skin from our first rounds we want to have that back so bad and we won't settle for anything less. So the littlest imperfection will make us upset.

Keep your head up! We can all get through this together, and this is the perfect board to vent because everyone is experiencing the same thing: ACNE!

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YES me too - this 2nd time around is much harder emotionally and seems to drag on much more than the first one.. I just don't think I am as positive this time.. Want to say you're not alone hon and that I hope you are feeling better!

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Did your skin clear up after the 1st course?

Don't worry. During my first course my skin often appeared very "thin" therefore scars seemed much more apparent. That was only temporary and after that my skin looked great.

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