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homegirl

23/f starting accutane

Hi there im 23 female and have mild acne -

i have been on this website alot recently because over the last few months my skin has become problematic again. For the past 8 months i have been using retin a on my face at night and dalacin T in the morning. this routine worked for a bit until a few months ago. And now i have become very hopeless and want to consider accutane. i have been depressed about my skin i would say for the last 5 or 6 yrs which is a long time to be thinking about your skin day in and day out. i will admit that there were some good times when my skin would behave and things were perfect and i would be able to live my life freely. but it would always come back and make me depressed and socially akward (either becuase i would blow people of if my skin was not good or i just wouldnt go out at all and people thought i disappeared or something) actually i take that back when my skin was good it was never perfect but i was like the odd zit or two in places that i did not mind and i was totally fine with that. but once i would get like 10-15 zits at a time big and small thats when i would start to feel completely overwhelmed and would want to not even attempt to conceal them and just stay inside until they all went away. i hope this sounds familar to some. another big proeblme of mine is that i pick my skin and then get extremely mad at myself for doing it after. ill always wake up the next day and be like dam my skin woulndt be half as bad if i hadn't picked this, this and this last night ughhh!

so anywho... ive written on some peoples logs recently asking them about accutane and whether or not its worth it and after much thought and consideration (side effects and all) ive decided that i want to go on it.

I have been seeing this acne doctor (only works with people with acne) and he has given me the option of going on accutane --sidenote -- he wanted to put me on it 8 months ago when i first went to go see him but i refused bc i was soo scared of it and didnt think my skin was that bad. but now looking back i am a little sad to think that i could have already gone through the whole course by now instead of wasting so much money on topical products that only semi-worked up until recently!

so anyways i am hoping that once i see him it wont be that much longer until i can get on it.

i have a few questions that ill ask him but also want your opinions for those who have been on it or are on it and who have mild/moderate acne and who are around my age (since i dont find i relate to teenage acne- im now at the age where this stuff should be out of my system and it makes me mad that i am now in that catagory of adult acne boohoo:(!! )

so mainly what i want to know is if i have already been taking retin a's over the course of 8 months 9and yes i think my skin is fairly better than when i started using that) do you think my chances of IB will be as high as opposed to if i hadnt been on retin a during that time period. also to decrease the IB what dosage should i ask my doctor to go on 10,20 , 30 or 40 ??or does it just pay to start semi high so i can get it all over with in the beginning?

i will post pictures from start to finish .. even though that sounds super embaressing to post pics of my acne .. but i will do it once i officially decide and start taking the pills.

i will keep posting on here .. sinc ei already come on here about once a day to check up on everyone elses logs...eheh.... everyone on here is so heplful and so supportive and i can not even begin to tell you how much i relate to so many of you and our issues of self esteem when it comes to our skin... its insane how so many of us feel this way!!!!

keeep me posted on anything and everything ... be back tomorrow to report on what my doc told me.

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Well Good Luck with whatever you decide to do. Ill tell what i have done. Im 22 and feel the same way about having adult acne. We were supposed to grow out of it right? Alot of people start out at a lower dosage and move up in the following months. Im about 150 pounds and my doc put me right on 80 mgs a day. From reading different post it seems that those that start out at a lower dosage seem to have an IB that goes on and off for awhile. Ill tell how mine went. My IB started within 4 or 5 days and lasted through about week 3. After that it went pretty smooth. Im not sure if thats because i started at a high dose and got it all out right away or if thats just the way I react to it in general. In my opinion I would much rather go through a severe hell for three weeks than a slightly less severe hell for 6....if that makes any since. Really in the end though your derm will be the one to make the decision, after all he/she is signing the prescription.

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so i literally just came back from my doctors appointment and literally asked him every question i could think of. he gave me answers that i basically already knew and most bc of how much i have read in these logs...:)

bc i live in canada he told me that i dont have to go through all the ipledge stuff that seems to be common or mandatory in the states.

for that reason he saw how eager i was to start on it and said that i could start by next week after i get my blood work done.

wowwwwww! i cant believe that i will be going through everything i have been reading about in just one week. as excited as i am.. i cant beelieve how nervous i am.

its pretty weird how everyone who is now on the accutane logs was at one point soo terrified to go on this medicine. i kind of dont understand why we are all so scared at first.

my doc told me that people all the time come in to see him and he suggests accutane but they dont want to take it bc they fear it so much that they would rather endure the acne than go on the meds. until finally they can endure their acne any more and are willing to take the meds. well let me tell you that i am most definitely that person. i put of going on it for 8 months and uhh well 6 yrs because i thought my acne was tolerable in comparison to taking such a harsh drug. but now i realize that there is no harm in trying it and if you want to chance the course of your skin and therefore chance your life then you have to be willing to jump into it wholeheartedly.

so thats what ive decided to do. i am here by stating that i am willing to go through all the side effects and i am sticking to my decision to take these meds until the very end and not give up. if it doesnt work out then at least i know i tried and if it does then my life as i know it will be much much better as i will be free of my skin.

feel free to respond hahah ... i support you all and wish everyone who is going through this the best of luck. i will be on here daily and will post pics once i start next week. send the love ! xo

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hey i'm glad you decided to go through with the accutane/log.

i'll definitely be keeping up.

and just to answer your thing about being scared of the meds...i think everybody has their own reasons, but personally, i was never really scared of the long term side effects. the thing that scared me was the fact that i was like 17 and a junior in high school when i first though about accutane, but when i went to the doctors it was like he was purposely trying to steer me away from accutane.

the way he described the medication to me was HORRIBLE. he said the worst things about how dry my face would get. so bad that it would peel off and flake constantly. he said i would look disgusting for about 6 months.

and OBVIOUSLY that scared me...because i was in high school and didn't want to be made fun of for looking like some crazy person with a peely face.

haha. good luck. :razz:

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hey nichole xxx

yeah i know what you mean. its not necessarily my own fears its everyone elses' that fall on my shoulders.

for example after i went to my skin doc , i went to my family doc and she asked me what was going on so i told her i was going to go on accutane and she just looks at me for a long time and is like "why ...why are you going on accutane.. your skin is not bad enough and it makes your lips like peel off and your skin gets all dry and you feel really bad when your on it and blablabla" -- she really made me feel stupid for wanting to go on it. as well one of my sisters thinks i really shouldn't go on it and my mom is having a lot of trouble supporting my decision because she also things my skin is THAT bad.

don't you just love it when people say "your skin isnt bad ENOUGH for accutane" like wtf ... thats like saying to an aspiring model .. your pretty but not pretty enough... like hello .. i want clear skin i don't just want to have okay skin and have people say to me its not THAT bad! i hate it when people say that. it so doesn't help me feel better about my random but persistent breakouts.

on another note- since my first post about how over the last 3 months the retin a that i have been using is not working anymore .. it has been getting worse and worse by the day. i am kind of freaking out because although im going on accutane in a week .. i wake up everyday to my skin feeling more bumpy and blotchy with random zits popping up.

i need to get on these meds asap... bc at least if i break out then ill know that there's something inside me working.. rather than right now where nothing is controlling my breakouts for the next week.

yesterday i bought cetaphil and used it last night it kind of feels like there is nothing on your face when your rubbing it in.. i dont know if i like it that much.

so im going to try and get my blood work on friday and then hopefully by tues i can make an appoint with the skin doc and we can get the script.

any suggestions on what dosage i should go on ... i kind of want to do a 80 dose so i can get through the IB as fast as possible?

anyone who is planning on starting around the same day as me let me know your story

xoxo wishing everyone luck once again

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ugh. for reals .. for the last week ive been terrified to wake up. i go to bed praying that my skin will be just okay the next. as in no more or less zits. but no. even though im still applying my retin a (that apparently decided to stop working) it does nothing. in fact it would be fair to say that it could be making my skin worse. i want to stop using it until i start accutane but i don't know what is stopping me.

So my fear of waking up was justified this morning when i arose out of bed. i walked to the mirror and immediately became depressed. its retarded how many bumps can develop over night. like i actually sometimes don't want to go to sleep because i think that if i just stayed up then the zits wouldn't develop. but the only positive thing i can say about waking up to my broken out face was that before i started covering it all up i went to my mom (who does not think my skin is that bad and who is resistant to me starting accutane) and said to her "mom you dont think my skin is bad enough for accutane well look at my face right now..." she looked at it and was like oh and nodded.. and i was " okay... so dont tell me my face isnt bad enough for accutane" lol. as unfunny or positive as that is... i was able to justify to my mom why i should go on these meds and not feel like im over reacting.

so i basically just put on dalacin t all over my face and then covered my entire face with concealer just so i wouldn't have to walk around with red marks all over.

i am going to go get my blood work done tomorrow and then fax the results to my doctor so that i can be on accutane by tuesday. yahhhhooo! i am so anxious to go on it already. i just want the day to come. i hate waking up knowing that nothing is in my system that is making my skin clear up eventually..

ill be back here soon enough with day 1 on accutane.. until then post comments or advice. for anyone who is reading my logs. thanks!!! :)

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Hey there Homegirl,

Was good to find another 20-something chica who's going through all this acne rubbish at the same time as me. Such hard work. I started my accutane course today **fingers*crossed** for both of us that this is the final answer to clear skin.

I'll be checking in on you!!

xx

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hi there..

i am happy for you that you took your decision to go for accutane..for me i was struggling with acne since i was 12, knowing that i am 28 now!!!! everytime my dermo tells me that my skin is not THAT bad,i used all kind of topical solutions and antibiotics, till last october, i had bad acne and started a new treatment with antibiotics and topical ISOTREXIN, i was on this till january, 4 months, my acne was cleared a bit, but as soon as i stopped,on march,my acne returned, more agressive and more awful..so my dermo advised me to go on isosupra 16 ( a new version of isotretinion -like roaccutane ) i am now in week 3, i thnk that this super medicine woths a try! so good luck in your progress, and keep us updated, hope your blood tests will be fine to start next week

cindy-sue hope you'll see progress too,good luck:)

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hopefully starting accutane tomorrow after i see my doctor!!!!!!!!!! i CANNOT WAT :)

what is the actual procedure when starting. After i see my doctor.. does he give me a prescription for it and then all i do is go to the pharmacy and pick it up and then take it once i get. or is there more to it?

got my blood work done today and some guy fainted when he was walking out from getting blood. his entire face got banged up from it and he was bleeding. it was super scary...........for all those getting blood work monthly... bring water and food for after! :think:

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well, your doctor will give you your perscription, you go home answer your iPledge questions, then go to the pharmacy. the pharmacy can't fill it until you answer those questions. make sure you take your iPledge card with you.

...this is all assuming you're in the United States.

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hey my results- ive been reading your blog. i actually think my skin is similar to yours. your progress is looking dam good... me jealous!

anywho im from canada so i dont have to go through alot of the hassles that unfortunately has to happen when you live in the states .. like waiting a month and doing the ipledge thing. in fact.. funny story... when i first went to the doctor after being on this site for like a week straight i was like put me on accutane man and then i was like whats with the whole waiting a month thing why is that.. and whats ipledge and when do i take my pregnancy test and rambling on and on about what i need to do so i can get on it as fast a s possible. and he was like wtf.. what are you talking about. then he was like thats only in the states.. and i was like oh :doh:

i am happy about that i gotta say. i only went to him last tuesday asking to go on it and he informed i could go on it by this tuesday which is tomorrow and that makes me happy :)

have a good one.. keep posting pics of ur progress yay

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omgomgomgomgomg

im going to my skin doc appoint in just a few hours and i cant believe the day has finally arrived. im also see spring awakening tonight with my sister and am super excited.

last night i had a thought that perhaps can spark a discourse on the accutane log specifically..... here it is........ im curious why the fear of an IB on accutane is sooo much more serious than the fear we all probably went through when we were testing out all the other stupid things before accutane.

For example for the last 5 yrs i have been trying new things for my skin every like 6-8 months. when i initially started doing something for my skin i started off going on diane 35 (this part only pertains to females. sorry guys) But man.... i totally remember how i hesitated going on it even then because i had heard that bcp may make your skin even worse and not get better at all or it may get worse then get better...and yet i eventually was willing to take it and wait out all those potential side effects for clear skin.... next... when that didnt work and made me physcho... i once again was willing to risk another IB when i switched to yasmin... now looking back... what made me so willing to risk another IB and start an entirely new pill? of course the answer was the chance of getting clear skin ... but still.. once again i was willing to undergo another IB. after that didnt really do much for my skin i tried going natural (products, body cleansers, diet) i started using natural face washes which i clearly remember being scared about getting an IB (precisely because i was going off proactiv and starting a new face regimen). my skin completely broke out from using all those things but i DID continue with it in hopes of seeing improvement somewhere down the next few months. point being i was willing to go through yet another IB. ahhhh and lastly when that stupid crap didnt work and i finally went to the doctor who prescribed me retin a i was t-t-t-terrified about the IB. (mainly because it was the first prescription i was using to treat my acne and knew the harsh side effects) I remember arguing with my mom about even going to the doc .. even though my skin was probably at its worst. i didnt want to nor could i handle another IB. when i agreed to finally go and i was at the doctors he told me i would get worse in the next two weeks of using the topicals because my skin had to purge what i had been using up till now!!!! those words made my fear bubble to the top of my body and when i got home i remember asking myself if i was ready to go through with this.... and once again i did! and i did get another IB!

so friends.... this lil rant right here does have a point. the point is, knowing that accutane, among all other treatments is pretty much guaranteed to give us an IB why oh why are we that much more scared to experience the accutane IB... we've all had an Ib with other products whats so different about this one...

now im not saying that im NOT going to come on here and complain when i get on this shiznit hahah.... i most probably will everyday for the next 5 months... i guess i just found it interesting how strong my fears were for this particular drug.. when for the last 5-6 yrs ive been risking IBs with other meds for clear skin.

just a thought for the day .. hehe.

good luck for everyone whose going through their IBs. just try to remember that although you get an IB with accutane the chances of having clear skin in the end is so much higher than those other products we've all used in the past. xo

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holyyy molly! im finally on this thinnng!!!! yippee:)

okay so i went to the doctor and he went through everything with me... although everything he told me i knew thanks to you guys. everyone on here educated me much more than he ever could have. all the products, expectations, side effects, prevention for side effects were things people on here helped me with. all he really did was tell me what to do and what not to do like no waxing, moisturize as much as you want (which is the complete opposite of what he said when i was on retin-a) drink lots of water.. no mutli vitamins. i asked about omega 3 etc and he said to try and stay away from it bc if blood work came back and something was off then they wouldnt know really what it was .. whether its the vits, accutane or my bcp.

so well see about taking any supplements for right now...

so then i had them in my hand .. omg.....and i was like wow i actually am holding the potential cure for my problem skin in my hand and in no time i will look back at this as a distant memory!

when i went to the pharmacy i got this moisturizer called Avene .. its anti-acne, non-comedogenic, hypo-allergenic, and is a rich yet non greasy formula. it was allitle expensive but i want to give it a try i also got lip balm by the same company.. they said it was good for people using isotronien (SP?) also i was very surprised at the price of accutane .. it was 46 dollars .. i thought it would be alot more expensive. oh also my doctor gave me this antibiotic stuff to put in my nose.. he said it was to prevent infections that are sometimes caused by the bacteria that accutane gets rid of ... it was random.. i havent seen anyone on here who had used that so i was like... is it like to prevent nose bleeds and he was like no its to prevent infections... whatevs.. ill use it. the pharmacist said i COULD use it on zits ?

so i forgot to get eye drops and shampoo for dry scalp so maybe ill pick that up tomorrow. the doc really reinforced not using anything on my face except make up and or moisturizer. this is such a weird and new idea for me. like to wash my face and then not put anything on it before bed will sketch. ill feel almost naked even though im going to bed. and i always get nervous waking up when i dont put anything on my skin like zit meds the night before.

oh right okay.. so my dose is 20 of roche for the first 2 weeks.. i have another appoint in two weeks time and well see how everything goes till then.

after i had dinner i was super nervous to take the pill but i just took the lil fucker and was like bottoms up!!!!!!!!! ahh. it makes me so joyful knowing that everyone on here knows what everyone is going through and i cant tell you guys enough how much everyones support means and will mean... accutane log for life! word! not much else to tell.. im feeling really tired right now. hope ill feel like me still in the morning.

i will report again soon enough.. im gonna go moisturize..xooxx much love

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Good luck!! I have about the identical situation as you but I am a year older. My family says my acne is not bad enough either, but I have been suffering with breakouts since I was 14. I have been covering my face with consealer at least 3 times a day after I have put my makeup on. The side efffects freaked me out too but I look at it like this: the skin is the largest organ of our bodies and if it is full of zits on your face, back, chest ect...and it effects you on a daily basis ...the side effects of acne is worse than the side effects of accutane. I will be starting accutane in 2 weeks and I can't wait. Does anyone out there from the states know what has to be completed until you can answer ipledge questions, I do not want to delay this process any longer than this dreadful 30 wait??

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good luck!

it can be a hard journey at times, but keep your head held high, your spirits up and don't let go of the final prize in site and you'll be great :]

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Day 2

for the record i will start posting only once every few days otherwise it wont seem like anything has changed if i post day-to-day.

tonight will be the taking of my second pill. i will take it after dinner again.

will drink lots of water today and moisturize tonight before bed.

am going to go buy eye drops today - this is the only side effect im noticing so far. My eyes feel a little drier. it feels like i need to take longer blinks or something.

nothing else skin wise. well skin on body is a little itchy but i think every time i have an itch to scratch i think its the accutane talking...but it could just very well be ummmm welll an itch.

face skin is fine. im wearing concealer now on my problem areas which is looking fine over all. i had two zits that came up this morning that were there before but not pop worthy. this morning i took to them and now their fine. people on here are freaking me out about not touching skin. like at what point on accutane does it become crucial to not pick as it will leave scars? only washed my face this morning with cetaphil and then applied moisturizer (avene) and then concealer. no topicals. im nervous my skin will dry out too much and then i won't be able to put on concealer effectively.

had a restless sleep last night. mind was convincing itself that accutane was in the body working and therefore couldnt sleep peacefully.

thats it for today. i have a dinner tonight so im actually going to try (which does not happen very often) to leave the concealer i have on right now (morning time) until i finish my dinner tonight... does this sound weird? lol. Usually i fiddle with my skin all day long (it goes a lil something like this. washing it in the morning then concealing it then around afternoon time i wash it again with water to get rid of the oil and make up then usually apply zit meds. then sit with that for a few hours. then if someone comes over or i have to go out ill then wash my skin with water another time and then apply concealer again. then after that wash my face for the night time then apply zit meds again and even more later in the night if i feel the previous application has dried out!) so yeah today im just gonna try and put concealer on once and leave it for the whole day until tonight when i was my face for bed.

ew i ramble too much for my own good...

peace out homies... will be back in a few days to tell you whats up xoo all my love to you guys

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huhuhu im back

i want to document the dosage i am supposed to take by the time im done with this stuff

5 month period 150x 47.628= 7,144.2 mg ----maximum dosage

4 month period 120x47.628=5,715.36 mg----minimum dosage

tonight = 40 mg in total

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Day 4 (question-tonight i will be taking my forth pill so is this day 4 or is it day 3) im think day 4!

i have really not been looking in the mirror too much at least not up close and personal. when i do my hair, i do it from far away and when i conceal blemishes i do it from far away so i can avoid picking ANYTHING.

the texture of my skin last night before bed was uh blotchy i guess you could say. i had three-four bigger spots that were there before i took my first pill. i thought my entire chin was about to explode with red marks that would be white heads this morning.

so i said to myself, "listen... your going to break out eventually from this tane.. there is NOTHING you can do about it so dont rip the shit out of your skin. just suck it up, go to bed, and wait for it to go away on its own.

but then when i woke up this morning all those red marks seemed to not be there. i was really surprised. the actives that i had were still there but not as noticable. just a tiny dab of concealer on each of them and i left them.

im not getting too excited bc someone else on here said that the first week their skin was fine and then after that it exploded and im paraphrasing here but they continued to say it got "really,really,really bad" so im pretty petrified about that. i will not even consider myself lucky at this point hah.

oh and now the areas around my chin (a little under my lips) are no longer red but are dry. my over all skin feels the tiniest bit tighter/drier. but nothing i havent felt before at some point or another with topicals.

i am really going to resist as much as possible putting ALOT of stuff on my face. Last night i put a tiny bit of proactiv facemask on my actives but nothing like i used to(i used to glob it on everywhere and wake up with my skin feeling so much drier and harder to conceal anything) for the last few days i havent been putting anything on my skin except cetaphil face wash morning and night. then if i need to, as in people are coming over or im going out, i put concealer only on bad areas. if my skin looks dry in the morning or if i need to conceal a zit then ill put tthe avene anti acne moisturizer on my whole face. then cover the spots and that seems to last throughout the day. THATS IT. if i fuck with my face too much it always seems red/blotchy/dry and is sooo much harder and more frustrating to cover up.

so my new mantra is less is more.

who knows that might change once my face starts exploding but as of now i am just trying to let my skin work on its own with the accutane. sometimes when i put so much stuff on my face and my skin still doesnt look good.. i never know what to stop because i dont know what the cause of it is. im also trying to not care what my family thinks of my skin when i dont wear any make up on it... i just tell myself that they clearly know my skin isnt the greatest bc im on friggin accutane so what am i trying to hide from them. its liberating i tell ya!!!!

okay so ill report by tale 6 or 8 hope everyone has a good weekend! and peoople respond dammit.... i like reading your thoughts :) my love and support to each of you xo

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had to show your log some love too!! haha anyways day 4.. woo! soo i hope you get to be one of those lucky ones that skip the whole IB because u know how im feeeling these days. I still have so many little ones under my skin tooo...so im assuming ill be breaking out for quite sometime..blaaah. but best of luck to youuu and i rly do hope you ca skip the IB ...wouldn't that be greeeat. welll ill talk to u soooon. goood luck to yaaaa :)

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Day 6?

woke up this morning with the sides of my nose a little dry. but applied moisturizer and disappeared. a little drier around my chin area as well. i hate miosturizing that area because i alwasy find it brings out my blemishes there ( i have these like red bumps that arent zits but arent arent zits... they go away at certain times of the day or night but then come up again like after i wash my face or something. i try never to pop them bc i know that they will go away. it very strange)

my forehead has one active and 4 smaller tiny zits that i actually very gently popped last night and then they are okay right now. not bothering me too much. forehead ones are such a bugger to try and fix. they just end up hurting so much more if you fuck with them. so after i touched them i am leaving them alone until they heal. my cheeks are fine for now. im sure they will explode soon because thats where all my blocked pores are.

the texture of my skin is a little better in the morning when i wake up and look in the mirror. its tighter and like smoother or something. it still gets greasy though by the end of the day.

my joints in my back leg were kind of hurting yesturday after walking around alot. and my nose where my nostrils are have been a little sore. this morning when i blew my nose they was the faintest bit of like rouge color.

idno whats with the nostril thing hurting. ive been putting this antibiotic stuff on it that was recomended by the doc so im sure its good to use.

thats all thats changed for now.

be back in a bits time... hope everyone is having a good weekend.

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Day 8-

some small things that have made me notice that the accutane is kicking in;

chin and nose are getting flaky- making me have to moisturize that area which is annoying because i find that moisturizing my skin makes my these red marks appear (not red marks as in scars but like almost red bumps but they do not look or feel like zits because they generally go away after a while and at night their not even there.)

idno what this is. but it makes me nervous that all those will eventually just explode into cysts or white heads. if i dont touch them they completely disappear though. who has this too???

its confusing because i wake up wash my face and everything seems decent then i see my skin starting to dry (which i kinda like it makes it feel tight and not greasy) but i have to moisturize if i dont want ppl to see the dryness. then when i do that all those red bumps appear.

something else im finding thats kind of good as of now (who knows it may change) but my previous blemishes seem to be healing up kind of on the fast side. this works best if i dont even touch them... dont even give them attention what so ever they will really not bother me that much and before i stress about them they are gone. again this may not last for very long,

texture of my skin is same as always.. perhaps i am tricking myself into thinking it is semi improved in the areas that dont have those stupid red bumps.. i.e chin! over all nothing to really complain about.

mood is nothing different.. making a little quieter. but thinking of starting a walking routine to get me active and get my energy up. theres been a couple days im super tired, have a headache and want to sleep. other days im fine.

oh yeah my face is more red. some people said to me that i looked a little burned or flushed in the face and all i thought to myself was .. thank god summer is approaching because then i can use that as my excuse. if it was the dead of winter and my face looked red people would think i burned myself in a tanning bed. so thats a plus for taking tane in the summer time. another aspect would be the dryness. maybe there wont be so much of it with the sun and humid air.

anyone who has this issue with these red bumps let me know... i just don't get why my skin is like that. its almost like if i moisturize i need to wait a while before applying concealer because.. if i didnt wait i would prob apply it to areas i dont necessarily need to because the redness goes away?

who shares this weird skin symptom?

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day 12

first let me start off by saying that accutane (so far) is soooooo not as scary as i made it out to be. wow. i mean when i popped my first pill.. i gotta say i was pretty much shaking in fear of what would happen the next morning to not just my skin but my ....soul! lol.

but i was wrong.. after a few days of taking them it doesn't mean anything. its like taking any other type of pill (bcp,supplements etc). so to all those out there that are considering tane but are just too terrified ... dont be... its so ot that big of a deal..

well i take that back for me it is now not a big deal.. bc i can see that i overreacted a hella lot. you know how everyone always thinks that they will be the ones will experience the worst of it all ... well i am tots that person. i thought i would get everything and anything when i started this drug and i have to sake i shocked myself! :)

nothing is as near as bad as i thought it would be.

that is not to say my skin isnt breaking out.. it is a bit ... but no where near as bad as i thought it would. i am only taking 20 mg and for only 12 days now.. and it may get bad still but its just as it was before if not slightly better than before i started the meds.

also all the side effects are completely managable.. my mood better than before starting it.. (i thought i would get so depressed) i think im happier bc i know im doing something finally for my skin. the dryness on my body isnt bad at all.. the only thing at this point in eed to moisture is my hands. i sleep with a humidifier and thats good. my nose gets a tiny bit of blood but nothing bad at all! my face is drying out more i think and i can see that my blackheads on my nose are slowly disappearing which is quit wicked to see.

the one thing i do want to rant about slash complain about is the tiny tinyyyy bumps that are under my skin... okay so like heres the deal... i want to hear from someone who had this at the beginning and u can then tell me how it all pans out.. hopefully :)

basically they are like black heads that look like at any second they will turn into white heads or that they will just fall out almost.... there is a small area right beside my chin.. sort of where my jaw line starts.. i had these before i started tane but now i can see them like rising and its not bad unless i dont tilt my head up to the light where i can see that they are in fact risen.. i also feel like the tiny bumps that i have all over my face are kind of just like coming otu when i scratch the area... the texture of my skin is fine .. when i wash my face sometimes i can feel these tiny blackheads. the look of my skin is also a little bumpy when i tilt my head towards the light... so basically all in all i would like to know if this just kind of goes away or are these things that could become inflamed and turn into terrible IBs. sorry for the rant...

besides about 3 semi actives - their all sort of in the middle of healling (except for one on my forehead that has i swear been there for like a week and half and doesnt look like its going anywhere soon) things are really going so much smoother than i thought. even if i do break out im going to try not to care as much and just know im in the middle of a break through to clear skin.

im goign out tonight and im gonna have a good time and not think about my skin !!!!! yay

xoxo much love and support friends

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day 14-

feeling tired today. its raining here and i think thats also contributing to me not wanting to do anything but watch movies,eat and sleep all day long.

the weekend was really nice though and i managed to enjoy the warm weather and not care for the most part about the few blemishes i have.

no severe back pains, headaches, joint pain or dryness to report. just a very mild feeling of them once in a while.

the only thing im noticing day-to-day is the increasing dryness in my face.. i think alot of the blackheads on my nose just kind of came out as my nose started to dry after the first week. my chin..no scratch that.. the whole lower half of my face is the area i need to moisturize more than others. but once i do its good for either the day or the next few hours depending on the day.

eyes feel a lil dry but nothing bad. ive only applied eye drops twice since starting. trying to moisturize my hands every night and morning which feels nice. and putting lip balm on every chance i get (rotating between 4-5 random drug store ones) i actually like the feeling of always puting chap stick on. i bet after 5 months is up.. my lips will be the softest things. i hope i keep that habit!:)

overall.. the only thing thats kind of bothersome , but only slightly, is the dryness of my mouth..almost everyday it feels like i smoked the fattest joint ever. i have full blown cotton mouth. so its not even so much of a dryness as it is cottony feeling. its weird but slightly funny.

any word on those questions i had from my last post ?? come on peeps wheres the love

got blood taken today and tomorrow i see my doc for the next perscription to be given. i kind of want to stay on 20 mg or maybe go to 30. but i reeally wouldnt mind staying on a low dose the whole course and then just be on it longer. bc if this is how my skin is for the rest of the course until it is finally clear than i will be a happy girl. but if i go higher in dose and then have a hella breakout than i kind of will be pissed.

the state of my skin right now is good enough to go out on weekends and not feel that ugs about my skin.. as well its good enough to go out and enjoy the warm summer weather without worrying about severe burning or drying of the face.

if you stay on a low dose for a longer time (but still fulfill the required overall dosage) is it the exact same as taking a higher dose for a shorter period of time?

what would most peeps recommend? xoxox

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