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NewDae

Waiting...waiting... WAITING.

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I'm so sick of it! I hate waiting!

I'm a pretty patient person, but I'm just so sick of it now. I can't take it anymore.

I know some people have it worse. I know some people had it longer. But 4 and a half years?! Give me a break!

I've been patient. But why?!

When I was 13, I started getting some acne. Sort of loser-ish too. But I kept hope and planned to be the person I wanted to be when I got into high school.

No. I became more of the person I didn't want to be. I became cynical and bitter to people, in fear of being judged so harshly. At least they wouldn't say mean crap about my face directly at me.

When I was 14, I imagined myself as the coolest 16 year old asian girl ever. I'd even have an amazing (but not overly extravagant) birthday party with all my friends. This seemed reasonable. Not asking for much? I've always wanted a fun birthday party with friends.

No. I stayed home. By the time my birthday came around, didn't happen. Nobody remembered. I didn't have much friends either. I told a close friend the day before too. She forgot and didn't even remember. My family forced me out to dinner to celebrate while I was in the crappiest mood.

'Ok. Fine. Sweet 16 isn't that important anyways.' I imagined I'd change over summer.

Maybe if I was nice enough to others, if I was good and patient, it would go away and I could go to the school dance with some guy I liked.

No. Acne got worse. Couldn't even go. What the hell...

'Maybe it's karma. Did I do something that bad?'

By the summer, I became obsessed with being morally "clean" and "perfect". Obsessed over every single mistake I made in my entire life. That went on through fall. Worst time of my life. Ever read Crime and Punishment? Yeah. Pretty much just like that (for the psychological part).

I spent $1,500 on acne products and lasers. $1,500!

I feel like a bitch. There's people in third world countries that starve, living on 20 bucks a week.

"What the hell is that 17 asian girl doing in America?"

She's spending $1,500 because her face looks like shit.

"What the fck? My family is starving and she's spending $1,500 on what? Skin?" -_-;

I went to my relatives today and of course, talk about skin came up. Then of course, the talk of how my skin used to be. Then of course, my aunt brought back memories of how she felt when she first met me (I was like...3 or something). She went on and on about how I was so adorable and cute, that she thought I was a doll.

"Oh, you were so pretty... but don't worry. It's getting a lot better. The pretty features you had as a child will come back. You'll be pretty again."

Gee. Thanks. *sarcasm*

SO THIS IS MY COMPLAINT.

I want to know what I did so bad to deserve this?!

Or better yet--what do I need to do to lift this "curse" off me?!

Everytime I think of all the money I've poured onto my face, I can't help but think of what good I could have done with this money. Donate it somewhere; do something to make someone's day brighter. But no...

How long of a wait now? How much longer??

Does the government really want to punish criminals?

Give them severe acne. No joke. See how long they last with it before they go insane.

*sigh* ... I know I'm pretty much being bias. I sound like I'm making myself the victim.

Maybe I do deserve this. I'm venting... sorry....

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And one last thing...

The biggest thing that pisses me off is the fact that the girl who used to sit behind me in history class was a total party girl (drugs, smoking, alcohol--you name it) and had perfect skin. She apparently doesn't even wash her face before "sleeping". She drinks with friends then just passes out on the carpet.

And she always ate greesy chips and whatnot.

Then she asked me if I ate chips, and why my face was like this.

"Oh, I don't know. I don't do drugs, don't smoke or drink... I take real good care and eat healthy... but I have acne." < Do I say this?

What the... -_-;; !!

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Something about your post NewDae, which I liked. Perhaps 'cause it reminds me of my own life. People like to remind me how nice my skin used to be, how cute I was when I was 6 or something. Most of my birthdays were disasters anyway, so I didn't mind not celebrating any after my 11'th birthday (with the exception of having relatives come over). I was also one of the people who didn't drink alcohol, didn't do drugs, didn't eat fastfood all the time and yet I was the one with acne.

I got utterly sick of waiting and this is my 8 year with acne. Nowadays I try to ignore my acne and do whatever I want, what I always wanted, instead of waiting for my skin to become better. Some days I have mild acne, others it's moderate. I just do what I can and get on with life. I try not to give a damn about what anyone else thinks of my skin, 'cause I have heard mostly shit about it for over 10 years. What matters to me is my own opinion about myself. Ok, so I am not entirely happy about myself, but I still feel more free than ever knowing I don't give a damn about what other's think of me.

And oh, I would never support the idea of "giving" criminals severe acne. Imagine having severe acne yourself and then having people shout "rapist", "murderer" and stuff like that after you, just because you have acne.

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Something about your post NewDae, which I liked. Perhaps 'cause it reminds me of my own life. People like to remind me how nice my skin used to be, how cute I was when I was 6 or something. Most of my birthdays were disasters anyway, so I didn't mind not celebrating any after my 11'th birthday (with the exception of having relatives come over). I was also one of the people who didn't drink alcohol, didn't do drugs, didn't eat fastfood all the time and yet I was the one with acne.

I got utterly sick of waiting and this is my 8 year with acne. Nowadays I try to ignore my acne and do whatever I want, what I always wanted, instead of waiting for my skin to become better. Some days I have mild acne, others it's moderate. I just do what I can and get on with life. I try not to give a damn about what anyone else thinks of my skin, 'cause I have heard mostly shit about it for over 10 years. What matters to me is my own opinion about myself. Ok, so I am not entirely happy about myself, but I still feel more free than ever knowing I don't give a damn about what other's think of me.

And oh, I would never support the idea of "giving" criminals severe acne. Imagine having severe acne yourself and then having people shout "rapist", "murderer" and stuff like that after you, just because you have acne.

Ugh. I'm sorry you went through similar things as I went through but...God.

8 years of acne? I don't think I can stand it anymore :c I want it GONE. I really admire your attitude towards it tho... :]

And true -_-;; maybe find a cure and then do that... hahaha...

(not really)

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NewDae,

Acne sucks! It is a waiting game, with its ups and downs. I as well have been waiting for a while now, I am soon to be 20 and it started when I was 12 or 13. When you think it is getting better you get slapped on the face hard. Sometimes I feel good , sometimes I feel bad. It is a roller coaster of sadness and pain.

Like UFOrescue, now, I dont give a F**K! I walk around looking like a piece of shit and when people say something I ignore them. Not giving a F**K what people think has actually helped me a lot. Give it a try! Next time you are feeling down, "Don't give a F**K"! It helped me :)

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Yes, the irony really is terrible, isn't it? I eat healthy, exercise regularly, drink tons of water and tea, don't drink alcohol, don't do drugs, get a good night's sleep, take vitamins, wash up every day, disinfect my hands, am very happy emotionally...

... and here I sit next to my friends, most of whom do the EXACT opposite of all I said above... and I'm the one with acne!? Seriously!?

I'm holding out for karma in the end.

Anyway, I don't suggest dwelling on spending $1,500 for your face and thinking you could have put it to better use. That's the same excuse of your mom telling you, "Eat every last bite on your plate! There are people starving all over the world and we won't waste food!" Then they end up being a guilty eater. :eh:

Personality-wise, here's a recent story of myself for example: It took me a little inspiration to make a change. Over the past year, I've become a little more, well, emotional... more so than usual. I'm kind, shy and polite by nature, but for whatever reason my more "comfortable" side became a little too extravagant. Loud, vivacious, and likely very obnoxious to some... I was even bordering on violent without meaning to be towards my friends, and I didn't like it. So, I've stopped and am being truer to myself. I've mellowed out around everyone and am gentler... and I'm happy with myself. I wanted to make that change, because I knew before I wasn't being myself and who I REALLY was. And though I'm still not perfect, I'm better and getting better all the time.

You can absolutely do the same, whenever you want. You can't please everyone, but make the changes that you CAN make and be happy with yourself--acne or no acne. :)

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I'm so sick of it! I hate waiting!

I'm a pretty patient person, but I'm just so sick of it now. I can't take it anymore.

I know some people have it worse. I know some people had it longer. But 4 and a half years?! Give me a break!

I've been patient. But why?!

When I was 13, I started getting some acne. Sort of loser-ish too. But I kept hope and planned to be the person I wanted to be when I got into high school.

No. I became more of the person I didn't want to be. I became cynical and bitter to people, in fear of being judged so harshly. At least they wouldn't say mean crap about my face directly at me.

When I was 14, I imagined myself as the coolest 16 year old asian girl ever. I'd even have an amazing (but not overly extravagant) birthday party with all my friends. This seemed reasonable. Not asking for much? I've always wanted a fun birthday party with friends.

No. I stayed home. By the time my birthday came around, didn't happen. Nobody remembered. I didn't have much friends either. I told a close friend the day before too. She forgot and didn't even remember. My family forced me out to dinner to celebrate while I was in the crappiest mood.

'Ok. Fine. Sweet 16 isn't that important anyways.' I imagined I'd change over summer.

Maybe if I was nice enough to others, if I was good and patient, it would go away and I could go to the school dance with some guy I liked.

No. Acne got worse. Couldn't even go. What the hell...

'Maybe it's karma. Did I do something that bad?'

By the summer, I became obsessed with being morally "clean" and "perfect". Obsessed over every single mistake I made in my entire life. That went on through fall. Worst time of my life. Ever read Crime and Punishment? Yeah. Pretty much just like that (for the psychological part).

I spent $1,500 on acne products and lasers. $1,500!

I feel like a bitch. There's people in third world countries that starve, living on 20 bucks a week.

"What the hell is that 17 asian girl doing in America?"

She's spending $1,500 because her face looks like shit.

"What the fck? My family is starving and she's spending $1,500 on what? Skin?" -_-;

I went to my relatives today and of course, talk about skin came up. Then of course, the talk of how my skin used to be. Then of course, my aunt brought back memories of how she felt when she first met me (I was like...3 or something). She went on and on about how I was so adorable and cute, that she thought I was a doll.

"Oh, you were so pretty... but don't worry. It's getting a lot better. The pretty features you had as a child will come back. You'll be pretty again."

Gee. Thanks. *sarcasm*

SO THIS IS MY COMPLAINT.

I want to know what I did so bad to deserve this?!

Or better yet--what do I need to do to lift this "curse" off me?!

Everytime I think of all the money I've poured onto my face, I can't help but think of what good I could have done with this money. Donate it somewhere; do something to make someone's day brighter. But no...

How long of a wait now? How much longer??

Does the government really want to punish criminals?

Give them severe acne. No joke. See how long they last with it before they go insane.

*sigh* ... I know I'm pretty much being bias. I sound like I'm making myself the victim.

Maybe I do deserve this. I'm venting... sorry....

I have on-and-off but persistant mild-moderate and I'm sick of waiting... I understand completely. The thing about planning the kind of person you WILL be .. WHEN you get your clear face... lol. It mkes me wonder why I was so f*cking ungrateful and SHY when I did have clear skin.. what the hell was i doing, i should have been way more confident and outgoing than that. I will be next time :[!!! (lol at me)

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Why believe that you deserve acne? Nobody does. It's a common occurrence that has varying degrees of severity. Acne isn't a consequence. It's just another problem we have to overcome

I understand your frustration, but you have to make the best out of your situation.

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