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darkdivine

Need a little encouragement/support I guess...

I don't post here alot but I'm just kind of down about life right now and I just feel like acne has had a huge part to play in where I am in life at the moment. I've had acne for probably almost 10 years now and I'm 24 now. I just feel like I'm missing out on alot of life and I think acne has held me back. I think the biggest thing is that I've never really had a serious relationship. I think acne has kept me from even having the confidence to ask a girl out. It's just so hard to have confidence when there is acne on your face. I seriously just feel so frustrated because I feel like I need someone in my life so badly yet it's like acne is this brick wall preventing me from doing anything about it. It's the same with just trying to form friendships with other people. On weekends I really want to go out and meet people but I think acne is just holding me back from doing that and I end up finding things to do that don't require me to interact with new people all that much - which is only making it worse I think. Sigh...does anyone else feel like this? I don't want to wake up when I'm 35 and wonder where all that time went because of my acne :(

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I understand your concern. But you will ultimately have to make a decision here. How many more years will acne take from you? You said it yourself. You do not want to wake up on your 35th birthday and wonder where time went.

What type of acne do you have? There are some women who do not place a great amount of importance on how you look. I was able to talk to two women when my acne was moderate-severe, and I feel like I won the lottery twice, because in my head I thought how the hell is this even possible? Never would have thought it's possible until I saw it happen right in front of me. You could just try befriending a woman at school, work, or out in public. As far as male friends go, well I didn't have much of a problem there. I don't see why there should be either. My friends are all different with selective tastes and of all types. We're just pulled together because we share the same hobbies and interests. And to add to that, I did drift away most of the time because my face was so bad. When I did work up the strength to go out and meet them, nothing changed. Still the same guys and we still had plenty of fun.

Acne is a very real problem that presents unbearable drops in self-esteem. But I think it's time for you to make a change. It's stolen enough from you. Why not cut your losses and take some of it back.

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I don't post here alot but I'm just kind of down about life right now and I just feel like acne has had a huge part to play in where I am in life at the moment. I've had acne for probably almost 10 years now and I'm 24 now. I just feel like I'm missing out on alot of life and I think acne has held me back. I think the biggest thing is that I've never really had a serious relationship. I think acne has kept me from even having the confidence to ask a girl out. It's just so hard to have confidence when there is acne on your face. I seriously just feel so frustrated because I feel like I need someone in my life so badly yet it's like acne is this brick wall preventing me from doing anything about it. It's the same with just trying to form friendships with other people. On weekends I really want to go out and meet people but I think acne is just holding me back from doing that and I end up finding things to do that don't require me to interact with new people all that much - which is only making it worse I think. Sigh...does anyone else feel like this? I don't want to wake up when I'm 35 and wonder where all that time went because of my acne :(

One thing that amazes me to no end is how other people's stories are like words out of my own mouth, pages torn from my own book of life.

You most certainly do not want to wake up at 35 and feel the regret of all the time lost forever. It was at that age, that I realized that life really had to be more than just this endless cycle of feeling sorry for yourself.

Oh I won't make no mistake, I still do, but it's channelled differently. For me, I found my comfort in writing poetry, taking up hobbies, doing things that gave me a compelling reason to get out there in the world. I still struggle intensely with certain things, like self-confidence, i.e. going up to a female is same fear level as standing on a skyscraper roof on a windy day. But I do have hope that one day I'll look back on this and laugh it all off.

The downside of wanting someone in your life so bad, when you have faced a long and difficult period of loneliness ( this applies to anyone, not just acne sufferers ), is that you inadvertedly place a lot of pressure on them to be the one to help pick you on the floor. And the desire to have someone so badly can often lead to making wrong choices on the person you want in your life.

This is why the old cliche "you must love yourself before you love someone else" holds true. It will allow you to bring a nurturing quality absolutely essential to having a long lasting and loving relationship, and that's what most of us want ( I think ).

The worst thing you can do is expect someone to provide that happiness for you. It often becomes a self-centered notion that leads to failed relationships.

SOS

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I understand your concern. But you will ultimately have to make a decision here. How many more years will acne take from you? You said it yourself. You do not want to wake up on your 35th birthday and wonder where time went.

What type of acne do you have? There are some women who do not place a great amount of importance on how you look. I was able to talk to two women when my acne was moderate-severe, and I feel like I won the lottery twice, because in my head I thought how the hell is this even possible? Never would have thought it's possible until I saw it happen right in front of me. You could just try befriending a woman at school, work, or out in public. As far as male friends go, well I didn't have much of a problem there. I don't see why there should be either. My friends are all different with selective tastes and of all types. We're just pulled together because we share the same hobbies and interests. And to add to that, I did drift away most of the time because my face was so bad. When I did work up the strength to go out and meet them, nothing changed. Still the same guys and we still had plenty of fun.

Acne is a very real problem that presents unbearable drops in self-esteem. But I think it's time for you to make a change. It's stolen enough from you. Why not cut your losses and take some of it back.

I have cystic acne on my face and back so it's not attractive - I don't even go to the beach anymore because I don't want to have to take off my shirt. You're right though I think I just need to get out there and take back my life.

One thing that amazes me to no end is how other people's stories are like words out of my own mouth, pages torn from my own book of life.

You most certainly do not want to wake up at 35 and feel the regret of all the time lost forever. It was at that age, that I realized that life really had to be more than just this endless cycle of feeling sorry for yourself.

Oh I won't make no mistake, I still do, but it's channelled differently. For me, I found my comfort in writing poetry, taking up hobbies, doing things that gave me a compelling reason to get out there in the world. I still struggle intensely with certain things, like self-confidence, i.e. going up to a female is same fear level as standing on a skyscraper roof on a windy day. But I do have hope that one day I'll look back on this and laugh it all off.

The downside of wanting someone in your life so bad, when you have faced a long and difficult period of loneliness ( this applies to anyone, not just acne sufferers ), is that you inadvertedly place a lot of pressure on them to be the one to help pick you on the floor. And the desire to have someone so badly can often lead to making wrong choices on the person you want in your life.

This is why the old cliche "you must love yourself before you love someone else" holds true. It will allow you to bring a nurturing quality absolutely essential to having a long lasting and loving relationship, and that's what most of us want ( I think ).

The worst thing you can do is expect someone to provide that happiness for you. It often becomes a self-centered notion that leads to failed relationships.

SOS

I also think you have a good point. I should be find happiness in myself and shouldn't expect someone else to provide that happiness for me. It's reallly hard though :( I'll give it a shot. Thanks for the input guys.

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Hey man! Yeah I can feel your pain. You are definately not alone. Realising that you don't want to waste the rest of your life is a big step. Get out there and risk. You might be hurt but you also have the opportunity to experience amazing things! In the end, the joy and love will be greater for what you had to go through to get there.

I also agree with SOS that in desperated loneliness it can be easy to grab someone and pressure the life out of them. Take it easy, start things slowly and build as many relationships as you can. You will find that there is that special person out there just for you and also have other good and fun relationships. Go for it man! You can do it! Wish you much luck!

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