Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
leesett

Im having suicidal thoughts.

I’m severely depressed, I cried myself to sleep last night. I have a doc appointment in two weeks but I’m scared I don’t know what to do. I was thinking how I would do it and what really scared me was that it started to make total sense…it seemed like the most rational thing to do. I havent told anyone this, my bf doesn’t even know, he has a lot on his plate right now with school and I don’t want to add more to it.

I had to step outside last night (in my bathrobe) I couldn’t breath sitting in my room. My mom tried to consult me but she ended up getting frustrated and walking away with words “I don’t know what else I can say but your totally overactingâ€â€¦not something you want to hear, I felt so alone. This whole thing has manifested into something else…something really serious. I can’t even walk into a crowded place…I start freaking out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I can’t even walk into a crowded place…I start freaking out.

Everyone has their own insecurities. Wear a sunglasses and try that again. Look at their faces. It's okay. They don't know you are looking. I'll guarantee you almost everyone does their own thing and not paying any attention to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No matter how much I try to over look this acne on my face…its just not working. I know it’s so ridiculous to people to hear me say “I feel like killing myself because of this acne†believe me…. it sound ridiculous to me too…. I just can’t help it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi There,

You are not alone!!!!!!!!!!! we all feel depressed about our skin but suicide is not the answer. Hang in there, one day you will look back at this and be glad that you didn't do anything crazy. Just remember that you are NOT ALONE!!!! I have acne and I think about it every minute of the day, yes it depresses me but I will not kill myself over a few zits. There are people that love you and will be very hurt if anything bad happened to you. Please hang in there, you will get over it and win the battle sooner or later.

Best wishes

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that I’ve lost touch with reality. Every day seems like a dream/nightmare…just not real at all. I think that’s why the thought of killing myself doesn’t seem like an irrational thing to me. The fact that it scares me is probably a good thing but when it starts to become less scary.…what then?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

“A few zits†I tell my self that everyday but when I look in the mirror I look like a deformed monster…maybe its not that bad…I know, I’ve seen photos with severe cases, but then I start to think Oh my God what if my face gets that bad then I start feeling anxious, but right now its what I see… that’s what’s killing me cause it is getting worse.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

Leesett, it's good that you are reaching out. I think it's also good that you have a doctor's appointment coming up soon. Getting help is the best thing you can do. I read another thread of yours where you said you have been on a regimen, but not for too long. Do give it some time to start working. I know that is incredibly difficult, but is what you need to do. Having suicidal thoughts is a scary thing. I think a lot of people dealing with acne deal with these same thoughts. Have you considered getting some counseling as well? I think that would be a good idea to help you deal with the emotions that come along with having to deal with a change in one's appearance. I can't say anything to magically make you feel better, but I hope you find some solace in knowing there is a whole community of people who are dealing with the same issues as you. Let us know how it goes at the doctor.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Acne can be very depressing, I get very depressed over moderate acne, but you clearly are loved by someone - your bf. Don't do anything stupid, you will seriously look back in a couple of years and laugh. Be thankful that you don't have a very severe disease that is life threatening :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know how you feel, our face is how we present ourselves to the world and when you don't feel like you can't do that, how are you supposed to deal with things? I have gone so far as to attempt suicide and I'm glad I'm still here, because my boyfriend, friends and family would be devastated. Remember that even when you have trouble loving yourself, other people love you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Rocky666
I’m severely depressed, I cried myself to sleep last night. I have a doc appointment in two weeks but I’m scared I don’t know what to do. I was thinking how I would do it and what really scared me was that it started to make total sense…it seemed like the most rational thing to do. I havent told anyone this, my bf doesn’t even know, he has a lot on his plate right now with school and I don’t want to add more to it.

I had to step outside last night (in my bathrobe) I couldn’t breath sitting in my room. My mom tried to consult me but she ended up getting frustrated and walking away with words “I don’t know what else I can say but your totally overacting”…not something you want to hear, I felt so alone. This whole thing has manifested into something else…something really serious. I can’t even walk into a crowded place…I start freaking out.

I know exactly how you feel,it's not a fun feeling,I actually cried this morning because I've been breaking out these past coupld of days and it's killing me,I haven't hung out with friends in over a year because of my skin and how much it crimples me,when I wake up in the morning and think to myself maybe if I put on some make-up I'll be ok and then as soon as I get out into the world I get pissed and frustrated that everyone is staring at my face,I could just break down and want to hide,I just started Orth-Tri Cyclen Lo yesterday and I'm hoping it works,if not then it's off to a low dose of Accutane for my face and body acne...it's such a horrifying thing to think about,but I've gone to great lengths for my face and I'm sure you have to,but there is something out there that will work for us,we just have to go through tons of trial and error to find it.But just know that you're not alone in this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I was thinking how I would do it and what really scared me was that it started to make total sense

Please, please don't minimize this -- get help!

If I cut myself peeling carrots, I clean it myself and put on a Band-aid.

If I break my leg and see bone sticking through the skin, I do not try to fix it myself.

Envisioning suicide is a bone-sticking-out scenario. You must get help for this! The acne can wait -- reach out to someone qualified for help. School counselor, church pastor, someone who has regular contact with the medical community. If you have no other options (or even if you do, but you don't like them!), you can walk into any hospital emergency room, explain that you are having suicidal thoughts, and get checked in -- every hospital is prepared to deal with this. If you are alone and in danger, call 911, explain, and sit on the porch and wait for an ambulance. Even the crappiest hospital in Buttcrack, Idaho can do a halfway decent job of treating this; you can shop around for the very best treatment when you feel better.

Ignore people who tell you to minimize this in any way. Your own depression will tell you to minimize it, too -- ignore that as well. If you're really in no danger of hurting yourself, then that will be great, but this is still serious depression at the very best, and it's a horribly painful way to live when treatment is highly successful and just a phone call away.

Please reach out to someone qualified for help. There are people who care about you and they would jump through hoops to get you treatment if they actually understood what it's like inside your head right now. I hope you will say "this is nuts to live like this, and I don't have to" and commit to reaching out to someone for help. If anyone pats you on the head and says it will be OK, that's the wrong person to seek help from. Do not let well-meaning folks get between you and treatment. Just walk up to the desk at the nearest emergency room if you have to.

I know you're just dots on a screen to me, but I'll be thinking of you and hoping that you're getting to someone (like, within the next 24 hours) who can quickly help you end this hell.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, leesett.

I am very sorry to hear that you are having a very hard time coping with acne, but please check with a counselor on this issue. While you may voice various issues at the Emotional and psychological effects of acne forum, we strongly feel this is not a suitable place to share suicidal thoughts with other members. I strongly encourage you to seek a professional assistance on this matter.

Information about professional assistance can be found here:

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/resources...lai-t16184.html

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes


×