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He broke up with me because of this.

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I wrote previously about how I've cancelled plans with my boyfriend (we've been seeing eachother for 8 months) and gone weeks without seeing him... making up excuses about how I have tons of school work to do (I'm 21 and in uni). I started getting acne for three months straight and I didn't understand why. It was actually a users comment on here that made me realize that it was an allergic reaction to the foundation I was using.

So my face has cleared right up. But during those 3 months I went through hell, hiding in my room and not having any social life. I wouldn't let my bf see me and he didn't know why. I got depressed, fast. And even though my skin is clearing, I still feel depressed and I'm trying to fight my way through it. But I've been taking it out on my bf... picking fights about small things.. being entirely insecure. I just couldn't seem to stop getting upset at him. So last night we went got into a fight about something stupid like always.. and it blew up. He told me he loved me and then he broke up with me because he said he couldn't handle this anymore. He thinks I don't care enough about him and that I get upset about little things way too much. This was last night and he wanted me to fight for us I think, but I just let it happen because I don't want to force someone to be with me. Plus I'm a little bitter that he's breaking up with me when shit is bad and I'm depressed. I just apologized, said I understood and left. I don't think I'm going to call him... I don't want to force someone to be with me... and plus... how could he say he loves me and then leave me like this? It just sucks that now my skin is clearing up and I'm finally feeling better... and he's gone.

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no no no no no!! make sure you go after him!! dont throw 8 months of hard work and your relationship down the drain. he's probably just frustrated with how you're picking up on irrelevant things, and doesn't know what to do about it, so he needs sometime alone.

if he loves you, you are not 'forcing' him to be with you - he wants to, just help him out a bit.

dont let pride make you do something you may well regret later.

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YOU HAVE TO CALL HIM. If he really loves you, you should do whatever you can to show him that you really do care about him (which I'm sure you do).

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It is not entirely his fault for breaking up with you because he can't read your mind. Tell him what's been going on with you and try to patch things up with him. If he still doesn't want to reconcile, then you can move on rather than wondering what ifs. Doesn't he deserve at least that?

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Relationships come and go. You shouldn't have to play head games. If you're upset about your acne, be honest. The guy you're with isn't a mind reader and has no clue what is going on unless you state it. Perhaps you can call him and tell him what is going on?

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+1 on the mind reader thing. it is hard to read minds so if you feel like it's worth saving then tell him what's really going on. if you're not comfortable doing that, then move on, your face is clearing up so you should have all the confidence in the world :D

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Maybe he did that whole. If i let you go and you come back its meant to be thing. I honestly dont see any guy leaving a girl after 8 months for no reason. The feelings are still there for sure. Give him a call and just be generally open with him.

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He didn't break up with you because of your acne. He broke up with you because you weren't talking to him and he had no idea why. He broke up with you because you were picking fights with him. I'm not sure I blame him, to be honest.

I've had acne since I was practically a kid, and I'm in my mid 20s now, and married. I've had my self esteem in the shitter over my skin, but if you find that you can't talk to the person you're dating about this kind of thing, about why you're feeling down on yourself and why you don't want to go out, then he's not the right guy. Either date someone you can talk to about your problems, or don't date. Trust me, it's better that way.

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He didn't care about your skin, he cared about you. Congratulations on throwing it all away because you're too stubborn and insecure to tell him what was really going on.

Don't call him back, he deserves better.

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oh dear, the others are right though, acne didnt end this relationship. The poor guy I feel bad for him, he did what he could, he loved you and you didnt really give him a chance.

Try talking to him, explain everything, be honest with the guy, he deserves that. But dont expect anything from him. Dont expect the two of you to get back together or him to give you another chance. It may happen, it may not but I think the guy still deserves an explanation.

If nothing else chalk this up to a learning experience. You have learnt a little bit of what is needed in a relationship and that it takes both people to make it work. Remember that for the next guy. :)

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Pretty much ditto to every other post here. Communication is the key to every relationship and it just can't work out if one person is always hiding such a lot from the other.

If you want to be with him then I suggest you go and speak to him and explain the situation. It won't be easy, but at least he'll know the reason behind your behaviour. Maybe you won't be able to work things out, but perhaps if you're lucky he will be willing to give things another go, provided you try to be more honest about how you're feeling. The stress of keeping something as huge as the emotional effects that acne is having upon your self-esteem can just be too destroying to keep bottled up from a boyfriend/girlfriend. I'm not suprised it caused a rift in the relationship, to be honest.

It's hard for people without skin problems to know what we go through or what's going through our heads. The only way for them to have a chance at understanding is if we tell them.

On the other hand, perhaps you need to think about whether you're in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship at the moment. I still think you should explain things to him, so that he has a reason at least for why things went wrong, but maybe it wouldn't be a great idea to get back with him should the opportunity arise... unless you know you're going to be able to handle being more open to him about your feelings from now on. Otherwise the cycle is only going to repeat itself with him or anyone else.

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If you feel the need to explain the situation, then please do that. However, you must be willing to accept his answer, and respect his wishes.

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oh dear, the others are right though, acne didnt end this relationship. The poor guy I feel bad for him, he did what he could, he loved you and you didnt really give him a chance.

Try talking to him, explain everything, be honest with the guy, he deserves that. But dont expect anything from him. Dont expect the two of you to get back together or him to give you another chance. It may happen, it may not but I think the guy still deserves an explanation.

If nothing else chalk this up to a learning experience. You have learnt a little bit of what is needed in a relationship and that it takes both people to make it work. Remember that for the next guy. :)

I agree. :)

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i think you should just tell him the truth..as softly and womnly as possible.. and tell him that you don't want to lose him, and if it happened again you wouldn't stay away, caus you know he's not that shallow now. i dont know..its up to you

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u said it yourself you always started fights with him and look how u were avoiding him... not trying to be mean but the way you wrote things makes it seem like its your fault the way things ended

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I agree with what everyone has said. He didn't break up with you because of acne he broke up with you because you were hiding from him, picking fights with him and not talking to him. Relationships can be tough. I am 27 years old when I was about 22 or so I realized that my ex's weren't breaking up with me because of the way I looked or my weight or anything. They were breaking up with me because of the way I acted and carried myself. After my son's father dumped me a week after we found out I was pregnant my self esteem was pretty much shot and I couldn't see how anyone could possibly love me which in turn destroyed any relationship I had. I picked fights got jealous and so on. You can't hide you need to be honest with the way you feel. If they don't love/like you for who you are and what you look like then they are not worth it and this guy obviously loves you for who you are acne or no acne. You should call him and try explaining to him how you feel.

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I told my bf all about my struggle with my self-esteem and this horrid acne and he thought It was ridicules he said that I was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen and that he loved me no matter what (I know… what a sweetheart right…7 years together and its still amazing)

I was doing the same thing you were doing…avoiding him, canceling plans, picking fights with him and I would even accuse him of cheating on me (things were not going well). I was afraid I would lose him, so I just told everything, how I felt about my acne and even about this website (he laughed).

Now I go to him when I’m hiding in my room crying my eyes out …he makes me feel better. Like the other day I was at work I started feeling that horrible anxiety feeling, I ran to the restroom and called him…I cried. I felt so ugly, he calmed me down and about 2 hours later I received a bouquet of orchids. He’s amazing even though he’s extremely busy with school and work (he’s goes UCR and is majoring in biochemistry with a 4.0 no less, I’m so proud of him) he still makes time for his crazy girlfriend.

I’m still struggling with anxiety and depression (just read some of my other post…I’m a mess) but when you have someone like that…its just nice.

Call him and tell him everything.

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no no no no no!! make sure you go after him!! dont throw 8 months of hard work and your relationship down the drain. he's probably just frustrated with how you're picking up on irrelevant things, and doesn't know what to do about it, so he needs sometime alone.

if he loves you, you are not 'forcing' him to be with you - he wants to, just help him out a bit.

dont let pride make you do something you may well regret later.

Thanks for the post. I gave him a bit and then called him up... which is not like me at all because I do have way too much pride. He regretted what happened and we talked some things out and we're going to work on it. I'm so relieved. I thought I had ruined everything. I can't believe I let my low self esteem ruin things with him. I definitely will try to be more open in the future...

He didn't care about your skin, he cared about you. Congratulations on throwing it all away because you're too stubborn and insecure to tell him what was really going on.

Don't call him back, he deserves better.

Ouch. Thanks for coming out.

how old is he.... 21?

he's after one thing ... and one thing only .....

He's almost 25.

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My post wasn't meant to be cruel in any way, but I just find it ironic that women always bitch and moan that they wish they could just met a kind, generous guy who isn't an asshole, and then when you find one, you can't give him the same courtesy.

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My post wasn't meant to be cruel in any way, but I just find it ironic that women always bitch and moan that they wish they could just met a kind, generous guy who isn't an asshole, and then when you find one, you can't give him the same courtesy.

Please don't generalize about what women always do. It's offensive and inaccurate.

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My post wasn't meant to be cruel in any way, but I just find it ironic that women always bitch and moan that they wish they could just met a kind, generous guy who isn't an asshole, and then when you find one, you can't give him the same courtesy.

You shouldn't generalize about women. Not all are the same. But....

I know that in the past I did that samething bitch and moan about not finding a nice guy and when I find one I don't treat him like I want to be treated. In the past I have picked fights and avoided. This is something I have changed. My coworkers daughter is the same way. She picks fights and avoids the nice guys like the boyfriend she has right now. Her ex who is an ass she treated great and kept him around a lot longer than she should have. I know a lot of women who are like this. But there are others who are not so you shouldn't make a statement of what women always do when not all women do that.

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