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pink_melodies

Aspirations HALTED by ACNE

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I don't know who else here has dreams of being in the public eye, but has ONE hinderance - ACNE. I have been singing since I can remember and have never wanted to do anything else. I tried Nursing and other medical prospects and Computer Technology, both just because I could. Not at all because that's what I wanted to do. And now, I am home with the kiddies (2 yo and 3 mon) not doing anything but writing songs and hoping to record with my music producer (low-level) of a fiance.

I just can't IMAGINE going on stage looking like this - my pictures somehow don't depict what I see in the mirror. I saw a pic of a celebrity with a few spots on his face - 4-5 he can SURELY take care of - and the media said he looked like a choc-chip cookie! Alicia Keys gets it all the time. Why would I want to put my face forward like that? I'm about Rihanna's complexion - why can't I have HER skin? Beyonce's? Even this girl in my class in HS - very light Black girl like me, but 100x better skin! All she used was ProActiv. I was one of the FIVE at most people in my high school (of about 1800) with acne! I hated HS because of it and have no more than 3 friends because of it! WHY ME??? WHY US????

I have become a recluse. I don't want to look this bad, on my b-day, my wedding day (another reason why I haven't gotten married yet), no day. I even wondered about my death - would I be the ONLY corpse with ACNE??!! I hate this stuff - why does everything else in my life have a way of correcting itself eventually except for this stuff?

I USED to be pretty...

post-66301-1235588976_thumb.jpg

post-66301-1235588976_thumb.jpg

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You still are pretty. You'll find that hiding yourself away from the world doesn't do a darn thing for your self-esteem, either. Make yourself go out there and do things, almost anything. Getting out and doing something really helps as it is activity that is not self-focused. Too many people get caught up in thinking only of appearance and forget about all the wonderful things that make them who they are. Remember to think of the good things in your life, too.

Brooding over appearance only makes your self-imposed exile from the world worse. Get out there and be pretty and active and happy; you CAN do it.

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I feel you :/

I've always wanted to sing, dance, and be a model...

but the funniest crap is... I haven't even tried.

For FOUR years--four LONG years, I've been promising myself...

Next year, next year...

Definately in 6 months...

It's getting better! Once it gets better, we'll enroll into dance class...

It seems rediculous to some people, but I understand.

My parents have been avoiding getting braces for me, and they say it's because "there isn't enough time"--which is a lie.

I think it's just because I would look even more rediculous: glasses, acne, braces.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda is all that spins in my head.

:c you're still very pretty. Even with a few sprinkles of acne marks on ur face, I think you'll still be beautiful. I think you should go for it.

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You shouldn't let acne destroy those aspirations. Continue to work towards those dreams.

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Reading your post saddens me. You are a beautiful and (apparently) talented woman, AND you have a man that loves you and wants to marry you. I do feel your pain (I was there before, trust me), but you have to get over it. Do not be ashamed of who you are because of what is on your skin.

I felt like you a few years ago. I was so sick of my skin hindering me, that I just decided to focus on something else - my body and God. I found a church and became actively involved, and I also started hitting the gym 4 to 5 days a week. Around that time I also found this website and a dermatologist, and things began to get better. My life was in order, my body was in the best shape ever, and my face was starting to clear. This process wasn't quick; it took almost two years to really come together. During that time, I also met the man who recently became my husband...and he met me when my skin was really bad but stuck with me through it all. And now we are husband and wife (January 21, 2009). :surprised:

I say all of that to encourage you. You need to get out of the house and away from the kids and do some things for yourself. Pick yourself up, speak words of encouragement to yourself, and know that you ARE beautiful and you WILL be successful in whatever you choose to do.

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Reading your post saddens me. You are a beautiful and (apparently) talented woman, AND you have a man that loves you and wants to marry you. I do feel your pain (I was there before, trust me), but you have to get over it. Do not be ashamed of who you are because of what is on your skin.

I felt like you a few years ago. I was so sick of my skin hindering me, that I just decided to focus on something else - my body and God. I found a church and became actively involved, and I also started hitting the gym 4 to 5 days a week. Around that time I also found this website and a dermatologist, and things began to get better. My life was in order, my body was in the best shape ever, and my face was starting to clear. This process wasn't quick; it took almost two years to really come together. During that time, I also met the man who recently became my husband...and he met me when my skin was really bad but stuck with me through it all. And now we are husband and wife (January 21, 2009). :surprised:

I say all of that to encourage you. You need to get out of the house and away from the kids and do some things for yourself. Pick yourself up, speak words of encouragement to yourself, and know that you ARE beautiful and you WILL be successful in whatever you choose to do.

Glad to know things worked out for you.

Edited by bollywood

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Also, you shouldn't put those aspirations on hold. It will only take longer to get where you want to be, and if you take too long, time might run out.

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Don't get me wrong, I STILL have acne, its just not as bad as it used to be. I know how it feels to have others comment on my skin - "is that a rash?" "are you using anything for your face?" "you should see a dermatologist" "wow, its getting worse" etc... but I refuse to let other people or acne kill my joy and steal any more of my life away.

Edited by Mrs. Lovely

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Reading your post saddens me. You are a beautiful and (apparently) talented woman, AND you have a man that loves you and wants to marry you. I do feel your pain (I was there before, trust me), but you have to get over it. Do not be ashamed of who you are because of what is on your skin.

I felt like you a few years ago. I was so sick of my skin hindering me, that I just decided to focus on something else - my body and God. I found a church and became actively involved, and I also started hitting the gym 4 to 5 days a week. Around that time I also found this website and a dermatologist, and things began to get better. My life was in order, my body was in the best shape ever, and my face was starting to clear. This process wasn't quick; it took almost two years to really come together. During that time, I also met the man who recently became my husband...and he met me when my skin was really bad but stuck with me through it all. And now we are husband and wife (January 21, 2009). :surprised:

I say all of that to encourage you. You need to get out of the house and away from the kids and do some things for yourself. Pick yourself up, speak words of encouragement to yourself, and know that you ARE beautiful and you WILL be successful in whatever you choose to do.

Glad to know things worked out for you. All these years, I have allowed acne to ruin my life. I hid away because of my scarred face and believe me, people did not make things easy for me either. People would comment on how burnt my face looked or on the amount of makeup I use. Now as an adult, I realised I have to live with this dreadful disease and it is probably a lifelong sentence for me, but this is something that I just have to live with now. What I hate most, is that I missed out on a childhood and doing things other teenagers did. As the years went by, I have watched girls/women I knew, have successful careers and get married. It is nice that you found someone who loves you for the way you are, this is something I don't think will happen for me. I know that looks don't only play a part in life, but personality and social skills are important as well, this is something I have to work on.

Sorry I didn't reply sooner - kinda sick. Anywho, I know what you mean about ppl commenting. I was getting my haor done last summer, and when I do I have to take off my glasses whick makes me feel like everyone can see everything - I feel bare. This woman in the shop goes, "Do you use anything for your acne? There's this stuff called ProActiv. Have you heard of it? Cuz you have a pretty face, it's just..." I was MORTIFIED. Everyone was so quiet, and instead of ignoring her, I told her I know about it, tried it, and it didn't work. I don't ever feel like I should explain myself, but I had to there. Like shut up! A little girl asked me "Why do you have all the stuff on your face?" All I could say is "I don't know." I hate it. I know I should go ahead with my dreams, but really it's hard just being in front of people and talking to them because it feels like all they see is my acne.

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You still are pretty. You'll find that hiding yourself away from the world doesn't do a darn thing for your self-esteem, either. Make yourself go out there and do things, almost anything. Getting out and doing something really helps as it is activity that is not self-focused. Too many people get caught up in thinking only of appearance and forget about all the wonderful things that make them who they are. Remember to think of the good things in your life, too.

Brooding over appearance only makes your self-imposed exile from the world worse. Get out there and be pretty and active and happy; you CAN do it.

My fiance is the only one (besides my sisters) who says I'm pretty, and I just think they're saying that because they think they have to. Nice to hear it from a stranger... Thanks. I think I may go out tonight... maybe. I'll think of only good and try not to look in a mirror.

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I feel you :/

I've always wanted to sing, dance, and be a model...

but the funniest crap is... I haven't even tried.

For FOUR years--four LONG years, I've been promising myself...

Next year, next year...

Definately in 6 months...

It's getting better! Once it gets better, we'll enroll into dance class...

It seems rediculous to some people, but I understand.

My parents have been avoiding getting braces for me, and they say it's because "there isn't enough time"--which is a lie.

I think it's just because I would look even more rediculous: glasses, acne, braces.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda is all that spins in my head.

:c you're still very pretty. Even with a few sprinkles of acne marks on ur face, I think you'll still be beautiful. I think you should go for it.

You sound like me. "Well, I wanna get rid of this acne by my b-day so after that I'll start." "Ok, new years resolution - start my career." AIP - Acne-Induced Procrastination... Don't ya just hate it. Thanks, and I wear glasses too, I thank GOD for my straight teeth, but hey, teeth are easy to fix - you should follow your own advice! Let's both get out there and think positive.

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Also, you shouldn't put those aspirations on hold. It will only take longer to get where you want to be, and if you take too long, time might run out.

Both of your posts were right - esp this one. I'll make this be my drive - I DEF don't want time to run out. Then I'll be a bitter old bitty lol.

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Aww girl I know exactly what ya mean! Like I've said elsewhere, my dad kicked me offstage after singing on stage since I was 5 because of my acne. Good God! I tried to get music out of my blood and refused to go out there but it killed me inside. Had to move half way across the country but now I'm in college majoring in music and loving it like crazy. I still have those days that I feel like I can't lift my head up for the shame of it but there is something incredible about doing something you love, something that is so deeply a part of you that you cannot shake it! Go for your dreams girl and go for your music! You can do it and I think your beauty, inside and out will draw and attract people! I'm cheering for you!

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Aww girl I know exactly what ya mean! Like I've said elsewhere, my dad kicked me offstage after singing on stage since I was 5 because of my acne. Good God! I tried to get music out of my blood and refused to go out there but it killed me inside. Had to move half way across the country but now I'm in college majoring in music and loving it like crazy. I still have those days that I feel like I can't lift my head up for the shame of it but there is something incredible about doing something you love, something that is so deeply a part of you that you cannot shake it! Go for your dreams girl and go for your music! You can do it and I think your beauty, inside and out will draw and attract people! I'm cheering for you!

OMG - you are like my OFFICIAL A.OBFF - acne.org best friend forever - seriously, I have never met someone into music as much as I am WITH ACNE. Everyone I KNOW has clear skin! WTF! Anywho, thanks for the inspiration - I never got to go to college, went to trade school tho, but I completely get how much fun you are having!

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Aww girl I know exactly what ya mean! Like I've said elsewhere, my dad kicked me offstage after singing on stage since I was 5 because of my acne. Good God! I tried to get music out of my blood and refused to go out there but it killed me inside. Had to move half way across the country but now I'm in college majoring in music and loving it like crazy. I still have those days that I feel like I can't lift my head up for the shame of it but there is something incredible about doing something you love, something that is so deeply a part of you that you cannot shake it! Go for your dreams girl and go for your music! You can do it and I think your beauty, inside and out will draw and attract people! I'm cheering for you!

OMG - you are like my OFFICIAL A.OBFF - acne.org best friend forever - seriously, I have never met someone into music as much as I am WITH ACNE. Everyone I KNOW has clear skin! WTF! Anywho, thanks for the inspiration - I never got to go to college, went to trade school tho, but I completely get how much fun you are having!

WOOT!!!! :dance: Whoohoo! :clap: Yep I've got acne alright! And whoohoo for us who are musicians in spite of it!! :hifive: Awesome! I'm so delighted to have "met" you! Wish you the best of luck!!!

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there is something about your personality that just shines. You are also very beautiful. I am engaged too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope you dont give up on your dreams just because of your acne keep going strong!!!!

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i know what you mean. my mom and sister were telling me yesterday i should try out for america's next top model because there's a 5'7" and under rule this season and i'm skinny enough. and while anyone else would be flattered i'd never dream of doing it with this mug of mine...=(.

but that's a big kind of thing.

i did used to let acne hold me back from having friends. in high school, freshman and sophomore year, everyone else had acne, and while i had breakouts here and there i looked better than a lot of people. then junior-senior year, when everyone's else's skin had cleared up, my acne was now at its worst...

now i'm in college and while i still see *a few* kids with acne worse than mine there really aren;t a lot of kids who still have acne. but i stopped wearing makeup recently and the friends i already had don't seem to care, and really most (but not all, lol @ twenty year olds who still think they're fourteen) people don't seem to care all that much. long as i relax and try to be sociable. if i can make someone laugh that person will be happy to have me around.

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I know how you feel I think like that all the time but you gotta remember the people who love and care about you regardless of your acne. Those people (like your sons) will always see you as beautiful no matter what you look like. And trust me you look good in your pic! Don't let acne get in the way of living your life and your dreams, especially if you really care about singing. Everyone faces different obstacles in life and some of them are way worse than acne so try to look past it and focus on your good qualities. I know it's easier said than done but good luck!

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