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Maya

Good and Bad days!

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I'm a guy and my scars do as much to mess up my life as any girl on this earth. Its not the gender, its the individual. 

And through all that I'm still sick to my stomach over it all. I read somebody's post who would happy with a certain percentage of improvement on there scars. You're a better person then me, cause I wont lie, I want perfect skin.

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Maya.........I just wanted to yell out a big CONGRATULATIONS biggrin.gif/ to you for being trained to do the skin needling! You will be so good at it seeing it is something you are going through yourself. I have often thought about going to aesthetics school but don't know b/c I have scars (afraid ya know?)but I would love to help people that have the same problems that I do. It's what makes you passionate about your profession. Congrats again.........I am so happy for you. Whoever your clients will be will be very lucky to have you. Whenever you are in the USA look me up and you can practice on me! LOL!

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sickofthis - thanks gorgeous! biggrin.gif

It'll be great to do a US tour ... me and my needling tools!

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I feel the same way. Everyone's posts here are so eloquent, I feel I can't add much else, but I was a cute kid and a good looking teenager and then all hell broke loose. I have always felt that fate played a cruel trick on me because I really always thought that I was going to coast through life on my good looks (pathetic, I know, and I am truly ashamed to admit that. Weird, too, for a guy to feel that way...but I did). When that didn't happen because of my acne scars (and resulting desire to withdraw and turn inward for protection), I found myself saddled with some heavy-duty mind baggage that I have yet to unload!!

Yes, I obsess (constantly) about lighting, and sunlight, and mirrors hold a strange fixation for me. I don't want to look, but I always do...often, every day. I wish I could unplug every fluorescent light in the universe!! What cruel, clear-skinned person ever invented the fluorescent light anyway?? I have run to my mailbox so I wouldn't have to face neighbors in the daylight, I have crossed the street to avoid people I know and I have also felt the abject shame of having people stand closeup to me and stare at my scars with a discernable look of disdain on their faces. (This last thing never fails to unnerve me and I always seem to start sweating when it happens. And then, I want to run away and high tail out of there. Back to my nest, my home, my shelter...

I am one of the most compassionate people I know and there's a warmth in me that the scars couldn't kill, so I am grateful for that. I love animals and I find great comfort and a camaraderie with them. (I feel we are equal species. I don't believe that humans are superior. My cats don't stare at my scars, they see right past them to my soul and my spirit. And I, in turn, love THEIRS.) Yes, my cosmetic problems have probably deepened my character and made me more empathic and kinder. But I have also lost a hell of a lot along the way. Namely, self-confidence and a belief in myself. To this day, I am afraid to take chances, to meet new people, to move about freely. Every waking minute is spent wondering if I look okay and if all these treatments are working in ANY way to diminish or eradicate my scars. It is so draining, but somehow, I go on. Just like the rest of you. I send all of you who read this who understand, my deepest respect. I empathize totally and I just wish it didn't have to be this way for us, but for now, it is...Yes, it may be all for the greater good but at the end of my existence on this planet, and when I finally meet God, I am going to have a lot of questions to ask HIM (HER/IT)!! Starting with, "Why...?"

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born i think i feel the same way, though i don't expect to ever have PERFECT skin I want maybe 80% improvement. I don't think I can be happy or content until I get that, at least for now. And I don't think that's a bad way to be because it's possible to achieve it. I have no experience with needling, but I've heard some great things. And I know tca cross can do wonders. Being incapable of being content until you've achieved some impossible to reach standard is not a good way to be. But I'm only 20 and I think my goal is realistic and I can't really live life until I know that it isn't.

It seems to me religion could help a lot. I mean at least according to christianity, this life isn't really the main event. That could be a big comfort for someone with scars. But I'm not religious. Sometimes I wish I could bring myself to actually believe in some god/religion just for the comfort haha.

I agree that some men are affected by acne scars worse than some women. But my guess is on the average, women have it a little worse. These days with the metrosexual being the ideal man, it's obviously becoming harder for men to deal with scarring. But again women have just a little tougher standards to live up to, at least when it comes to skin.

In about 30 mins I have to go play the guitar in front of a classroom of college students. I just performed a little cross about a week ago, and those scars look red and worse than ever haha.

Healty ur comment meant a lot to me. thanks.

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Hey Jonah. What kind of music do you play on your guitar? I also play guitar, and my guitar is my religion. If it where not for my guitar, I would kill myself, its the onlything that keeps me going. I sleep in my bed with my guitar, I never do anything without my guitar. It self medicates me, its my therapy. Its everything and the onlything I got. Its the love of my life. My baby.

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I love animals and I find great comfort and a camaraderie with them. (I feel we are equal species. I don't believe that humans are superior. My cats don't stare at my scars, they see right past them to my soul and my spirit. And I, in turn, love THEIRS.)

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Wow, who knew that a thread dedicated to how bad we all think we look could have ended up being a platform for such a show of courage, depth of soul, and genuine beauty. I've given myself a time-out from this forum (and from thinking about scars in general) for a week or so now because I thought I was becoming too obsessive, and I felt like I needed to do some independent soul searching. Now that I'm back, I see how this amazing thread has grown into something really amazing. Your stories and your reflections give me such comfort, and I want to thank everyone for sharing them. There are so many things people have said that I can relate to or want to comment on that to go through them all would take oo long and be a bit self-indulgent, I think. But I will just say that for me, my scarring is not just of cosmetic concern (although it is absolutely that as well), but because my scarring is primarily self-inflicted, I feel is is permanent evidence of past trauma that, no matter how hard I work to get beyond, these scars act as constant reminders. I think it was Maya who said that secretly we (or some of us at least) want complete erasure of our scars so that we can pretend it never happened. I nearly burst into tears when I read this because I realize that that is what I want. I not only want not to have the scars right now, and certainly not in my future, but I also want not to have had all of those experiences, that pain and trauma, in my past. Anyone who terms this condition simply "cosmetic" or "superficial" is absolutely not getting it and I would venture to guess that, unless one has been through this sort of distress, there is no way for them to get it. I am not religious, but I absolutely believe that this affliction (I don't think that's an overstatement) has made me into a better more compasionate, more introspective person. I don't live shallow life, and I am proud of that. Aristotle said that the unexamined life is not worth living--and none of us here is in danger of that. I have so much more to say--this thread is truely cathartic--but I have to get back to work.

Thank you all so much.

--leo

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I have run to my mailbox so I wouldn't have to face neighbors in the daylight, I have crossed the street to avoid people I know and I have also felt the abject shame of having people stand closeup to me and stare at my scars with a discernable look of disdain on their faces.

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Aristotle said that the unexamined life is not worth living--and none of us here is in danger of that. 

Thank you all so much.

--leo

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One thing I have developed in the last 10 years is a love for gardening and nature. I have created the most gorgeous back garden which attracts all sorts of wild life. It's only a small garden, but I have foxes, squirrels, wild birds, hedgehogs visiting me ... it has given me so much pleasure and peace. It gives me space to think and meditate on life.

_________________

Maya,

It sounds like Paradise to me. I could spend hours upon hours just sitting in a place like that, absorbing all the beauty and watching the wildlife. THAT kind of stuff makes me happy...not cell phones and reality TV shows and mile-a-minute talking and everything else that the mainstream world seems to love so much.

What a beautiful Eden you have fashioned for yourself. Enjoy it, Maya.

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Maya:

I am finding out more and more everyday how much we are alike! I too, have developed a most intense love of nature. It's always been there, but now it's been taken to another level.

We rent our home, so we cannot develop it but so much, but we do have a small garden and a lot of containers full of herbs. We are so blessed where we live as we live on a lake with LOTS of wildlife. Passing through really soon will be ruby-throated hummingbirds. biggrin.gif

I literally just purchased some more herbs yesterday, including chocolate mint, which I plan on using in sweetbreads, cakes, and I also will try drying the leaves and making tea. It smells just like a peppermint patty.

We also have a dwarf peachtree that should yield at least a hundred peaches this year. It's the small things that bring me the most joy. Every day I got out on the deck and check on the lettuces, herbs, and my trees (I have a lemon tree, too). I sigh, take in the sunshine and just sit and listen to the birds. I don't know which I like more; the sound of birds, or the sound of a thunderstorm off in the distance with rain all around....it's a toss-up.

Oh well....I'm getting carried away now, but I believe that since I've developed this true connection with nature, that I'm more content with the small things. I'm at peace and grateful like I've never been, and more healthy emotionally. O:)

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hiya, i get that too. When i'm at home my skin can look absolutly flawless but when i go to school and look in the mirrors in the toilets, i look atrocious, i can see scarring a mile away and it really does get to me!!!

I think has to do with lighting and you are amongst people with possibly, better skin than your's and compared to someone you can look totally horrible!!

PJ xxx

PS how do you get rid of scarring on your back and arms...i had a bad case a few years ago and now i am suffering because of it!!! Do sunbeds help to fade the colour of scars! PLS HELP ME!

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I think its great that a few of you love nature. I have raised wild ferrets now for most of my life. I kind of stumbled into it as a kid and have fallen in such love with the animal I figured I would start raising them. I'm on my 6th and 7th now. Little man and goose are there names. There my buddy's. I mentioned my guitar playing was all I had, but I have them also. If you spend enough time with an animal they will give some of lifes greatest rewards. You will take on there spirit. I myself am part ferret. They are very wild animals and are like having 2 kids, they require alot of time and care, they get into everything possable. But I am very experienced with them by now and I know there games, even though each has its own personality they all have one thing in commen and that is there curiosity and inteligence. Thats great you have foxes that come to your garden, I would love a pet fox, I love all of nature. People who dont care about nature and think they are above it, well its there loss. Thats good advice about taking on hobby's at home. I build guitars and sell them to make money. I'm not a total loss, I am trying to keep going.

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you know whats the worse? i'd be out with friends or a girl and i'd be having fun, then i walk by a place and see a reflection of myself, i see the scars. then it just ruins the rest of the night. all of a sudden i dont wanan face people and i wanna be in dark places.

when i first got with my gf, for the first 3 months or so i wouldn't see her until it was dark, she thought i was weird.

acne scars hurts more than anything. honestly i'd rather have a deformed hand or be missing a toe or have a freaking lump on my chest than acne scars. it's on the face and it's the part where everyone can see. even though eveyrone say looks dont matter, that's BS, looks DOES matter, it's not being shallow, it's reality. And reality stinks for me, because my acne scars could have been prevented easily had i not have stupid parents

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Ive just had a bad moment...someone showed me some pictures of me and some friends.Maybe it's the flashlight from the camera,maybe it is the grease of my face..maybe i am not photogenic at all <_< ..maybe it's all that mixed up

im comparing those photos with one i took with my webcam...way too much difference!...iit looks nicer in the last one :lol: .. hey! i think i look better in photos with light of day..is it weird? shouldn't it look worse in light of day?

ok...never mind...i m just thinking aloud...

kiuti

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I'm glad so many people have gained greater appreciation for life through having acne/scarring. I wish it had the same effect for me too. I have a good life but i constantly have this background sadness that I carry with me. If I catch my reflection then my sadness swells up and can consume me. Sometimes I am depressed for days, but I try not to become a recluse because of my scarring. I think the negative psychological effects aren't really understood and appreciated as yet, I just hope that cell regenration techniques become advanced enough to enable total skin renewal so that the pain we feel is resigned to history.

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This was one of my favourite threads - I just thought I'd resurrect it for any of the new people who haven't seen it. There are some really nice sentiments expressed. smile.gifeusa_clap.gif

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This was one of my favourite threads - I just thought I'd resurrect it for any of the new people who haven't seen it. There are some really nice sentiments expressed.  smile.gif  eusa_clap.gif

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I was just wondering how many of you have good and bad days when you look at your face? Or even good and bad moments?

I mean, this morning, I'd applied makeup, looked in the mirror and thought I looked OK ... I then went out for a couple of hours, caught myself in a mirror at the supermarket and looked horrible! My scars looked enormous!!!! Grrrr .... spent an hour thinking how rubbish I was looking ... got home, looked in the mirror and looked fine again.

Weird eh?

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