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Does stranger avoid sitting beside you because of your skin?

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Wapak, I've experienced the excitement of receiving a smile from another person, and it is something that I would love to pass on all the time. Unfortunately, I still have some work to do in that department. I'm not sure if a frown is my natural expression. You're third paragraph is beautiful. We decide what to show to others. I'm sure my negative body language has driven away plenty of people who might have wanted to speak to me. I do feel like a positive vibe will always keep others interested in us.

By the way, I have always been shy and timid around people. I think it's in my DNA. I still try to change things and strike up conversation with a random. I also try to make someone's day.

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It seems like there are quite a few good responses in this thread and I don't really have time (between classes) to type a bunch of paragraphs.

I will say that I agree with those who have said a lot of what people think of you is perception. You can always alter that but altering your behavior. I agree with the smiling thing. Even just sucking it up and saying hello helps. I've done that before...and people have always said hello back and kept on talking.

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It is true what the above posters said: it is all about the way you present yourself.

Lately, I have been getting t his a lot. I live in a community where a security officer has to open up a gate for you to pass with your car. From the first time I drove in, I smiled and nodded at the security officer. Now, everytime he see's my car, he smiles at me and opens the gate without even thinking twice.. In return, it makes me happy. It brings a smile on my face everytime I pass by :)

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Man, your life is really tragic 123123. Hopefully you'll have a happy ending. What would happen if you would go and try sit next to the popular people?

If i sit by popular people they will say "who are you?", "why are you here?", etc

Work on social skills and hobbies and so forth and then people will be less likely to avoid you. Or have the APPEARANCE of avoiding you. It may just be that you perceive it as such. Whatever, work on your social skills. Work on small talk (yeah, it's boring but a helpful social skill). "Have you seen so and so movie?" What did you think of it? Who is your favorite actor/actress and why? Etc. What's the last book you read? Did you like it? Read any others by that author? Do you like a movie adaptation of a book or the book better, for example (give one). Etc.

Biggest advice: SMILE. Don't look gloomy or preoccupied. IF people are really avoiding you, it is most likely because of a disagreeable expression, NOT your skin. They don't care about that, they care about expressions and how you present yourself. If you look like you might bite them, they'll stay away. ;)

I agree 100%. I bet you're giving out an unfriendly vibe...nothing to do with your skin.

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What I can say about those who want to gain confidence in themselves:

First, act the way a confident and fulfilled person acts. Acting is the first part of learning. At first you have to force yourself to act confident until your mind is forced to think in a confident way to remain congruent with your body.

Here's an excerpt from a great e-book that I have read with success in life and in relationship as it's subject:

Hold your head up high. Put your shoulders back. And now, relax every

muscle and take 30 SLOW, DEEP, BREATHS.

Do you speak in a meek voice? Your voice will affect your own self-

concept as well as how others see you. LOWER your octave to a more

masculine level and speak clearer.

Stop listening to sad music NOW. Watch how it changes your

physiology, emotions and thoughts.

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It seems like there are quite a few good responses in this thread and I don't really have time (between classes) to type a bunch of paragraphs.

Hope you can find some time soon, Kairasa. Would like to learn of your in-depth opinion. Always a good read.

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I can totally relate to the train thing. I used to be extremely paranoid about it before I started taking zoloft, to be honest. If people wouldn't sit in front of me (the seats face towards each other) or beside me, I'd automatically think it was because I smelled or my acne was too disgusting to look at or I was permeating negative feelings. But now I could care less, pay more attention to my mp3 player and close my eyes.

The more comfortable I got with sitting alone, I think the less people were weirded out by me, even though my skin has pretty much stayed the same.

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Get a louisville slugger, and crack their skull.

Or, have fun with it. Tell 'em it's a rare disease, and it's contagious. The symptoms include irregularity, and involuntary discharge.

To answer your question, no they do not. Suprisingly a lot of friendly people around my parts.

Keep your head up, man. Be proud of who you are.

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