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Does stranger avoid sitting beside you because of your skin?

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Stranger always avoid sitting beside me. When I am on the train/subway/bus no one will sit beside me unless the seat beside mine is the only avaliable seat. When they do sit beside they will stare at my face and when another seat is avaliable they will move to that seat and continue to stare at me. Even at school students wont seat next to me unless we are friends. The complete opposite of me is this popular girl who is in one of my class. Everyone wants to sit beside her or join her group when we do experiments. Everyone is shallow, they all want to sit beside her/talk to her/be her friend just because she is very pretty.

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You could just be paranoid :C

Anyways theyre just strangers who cares about them its not liek your gonna see them again or anything.

Also the pretty girl could be more than just a pretty face, she could have a wonderful personality and that attracts ppl and she could also be really smart sooo then ppl would have to do less work!!! I know i sit by the nerdies who do all the work :]

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Well, you know, because acne is so contagious, they don't want those acne bugs to start jumping from your face to theirs.

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This might sound really hopeful (for society that is; hoping we aren't as shallow as we really are) but are you sure you're just the one 'not getting picked' based on your personality.

The popular girl, while she may be pretty, is almost always outgoing and 'funny' to others. Us with acne can at times be Debbie Downers without even realizing it, and people don't like that. People are attracted to smiles more than frowns.

Just keep your head up high. Things can only get better, right?

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Acne makes you feel down.

I think a good personality comes with good looks. Makes you confident and fun.

When your having a bad day you dont want to socialise.

Meaning your anti social.

THO NOT YOUR FAULT.

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Man, your life is really tragic 123123. Hopefully you'll have a happy ending. What would happen if you would go and try sit next to the popular people?

If i sit by popular people they will say "who are you?", "why are you here?", etc

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You could just be paranoid :C

Anyways theyre just strangers who cares about them its not liek your gonna see them again or anything.

Also the pretty girl could be more than just a pretty face, she could have a wonderful personality and that attracts ppl and she could also be really smart sooo then ppl would have to do less work!!! I know i sit by the nerdies who do all the work :]

Yes you are right I wont see them again but it still makes me feel kind of bad.

I have known the pretty girl for a few years, I think she is just a pretty face. She only makes friends with other popular people, if she has good personality I think she would be friends with all kinds of people. She also often stares at my face, she is probably saying to herself "wow what is wrong with his face?" I try my best not to get her attention but she still notices me. I am kind of jealous of her because she has a really good life.

O really you sit beside nerds? And they do all the work for you? Haha you are smart!

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This might sound really hopeful (for society that is; hoping we aren't as shallow as we really are) but are you sure you're just the one 'not getting picked' based on your personality.

The popular girl, while she may be pretty, is almost always outgoing and 'funny' to others. Us with acne can at times be Debbie Downers without even realizing it, and people don't like that. People are attracted to smiles more than frowns.

Just keep your head up high. Things can only get better, right?

Yes you are right she is outgoing and funny and confident. But are those all that is needed for a good personality? I believe you also need to be kind, caring etc .

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Man, your life is really tragic 123123. Hopefully you'll have a happy ending. What would happen if you would go and try sit next to the popular people?

If i sit by popular people they will say "who are you?", "why are you here?", etc

Work on social skills and hobbies and so forth and then people will be less likely to avoid you. Or have the APPEARANCE of avoiding you. It may just be that you perceive it as such. Whatever, work on your social skills. Work on small talk (yeah, it's boring but a helpful social skill). "Have you seen so and so movie?" What did you think of it? Who is your favorite actor/actress and why? Etc. What's the last book you read? Did you like it? Read any others by that author? Do you like a movie adaptation of a book or the book better, for example (give one). Etc.

Biggest advice: SMILE. Don't look gloomy or preoccupied. IF people are really avoiding you, it is most likely because of a disagreeable expression, NOT your skin. They don't care about that, they care about expressions and how you present yourself. If you look like you might bite them, they'll stay away. ;)

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I agree with Wynne.

Personality really IS more important than physical appearance.

People probably don't notice your skin as much as you think they do. However, they do notice if you're projecting an image that is sad, hopeless, and depressing.

If it's any consolation, you look like a pretty handsome guy from what I can tell. I know I would probably think you were attractive because of your nice facial features, regardless of what your skin looked like. :)

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Yes you are right she is outgoing and funny and confident. But are those all that is needed for a good personality? I believe you also need to be kind, caring etc .

Maybe she is, maybe she isn't, but obviously there is something she has (beauty or no beauty). People have different views on what is 'pretty.' I have pretty severe acne marks and yet I'm not a nobody. I'm a somebody because I try not to let it bother me. Don't get me wrong I'm not the most popular girl in my class, but I'm definitely not the anti-social girl in the corner.

I think if you just try to put yourself out there, it really helps. In your mind, image yourself as someone high up on a pedestal and people will slowly begin to believe you. (Think Louis XVI in modern terms.)

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Dude, I always read your topics and they all about something tragic that happens because of your acne. You really have a fucked up life. Where do you live? ( I know China, right?) but seriously...wtf....I agree w/Wynne try to act to happy. That's how I make friends...I'm not very talkative but I do try to have a lot of fun and I smile a lot (not in a creepy way)

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I feel you're pain.I was in the store the other day and this girl was looking right at my face at this big pimple i had it made me feel really bad.

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It seems like 123, you won't be happy unless you clear up. You need to work on making that happen if you want to feel good again. Look in my previous posts, I outline a bunch of foods you can eat that won't cause acne. It'll take 2 months to get 100% clear, but your acne will be sooo much better after only a week. It sounds like you are really becoming a jealous person who is resentful of happy people. What is it about them that you like or want for yourself? For me, I've always wanted to be thinner with clear skin and the ability to be a fierce guitar player. I became like, the coolest person on the planet when I cleared up, lost the weight and learned guitar. You have to do what you think is cool in order to feel cool. Once you feel cool, people will think you are cool because you are, being cool is thinking about what you want and making it happen. People avoid you because they feel bad that their skin is clear...when you look at them right away you probably notice their skin. They probably feel guilty because they can't tell you their secrets to clear skin. It is taboo to talk about acne, people would rather pretend it isn't there. Do yourself a favour and try a diet for a couple months. To keep yourself from thinking about food, find a hobby that you think is cool and do that. Do it hardcore. I guarantee this will help.

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no ...but im a really private person meaning i dnt like making friends and im just happy with my bf.....people dnt really stare at my skin only my sis and she asks me why you have that man i feel like punshing her soemtimes

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Dude, I always read your topics and they all about something tragic that happens because of your acne. You really have a fucked up life. Where do you live? ( I know China, right?) but seriously...wtf....I agree w/Wynne try to act to happy. That's how I make friends...I'm not very talkative but I do try to have a lot of fun and I smile a lot (not in a creepy way)

CHina is one of the country I live in, it is my home country but I also live in 2 other countrys. I am currently in Japan. These tragic things happen to me in all 3 country. So the problem is me not the country.

Anyway i always try to act happy!! When I am in the public I never act as if I was troubled by my acne. But when I am alone I act natural. These kids at school they say "hey do you care that your skin is ruined?" I say "no I dont care about my skin". Sometimes I think it is a mistake trying to pretend as that I dont care about my skin because after I said "i dont care about my skin" more people start to say more hurtful things about my skin. They do that because they think it will not hurt my feelings because I said I dont care. Once someone said a hurtful comment and I said "hey I have feelings you know?" and he says "wow really you have feelings? Hey everybody he said he has feelings." So trying to act happy really does not work!!

It seems like 123, you won't be happy unless you clear up. You need to work on making that happen if you want to feel good again. Look in my previous posts, I outline a bunch of foods you can eat that won't cause acne. It'll take 2 months to get 100% clear, but your acne will be sooo much better after only a week. It sounds like you are really becoming a jealous person who is resentful of happy people. What is it about them that you like or want for yourself? For me, I've always wanted to be thinner with clear skin and the ability to be a fierce guitar player. I became like, the coolest person on the planet when I cleared up, lost the weight and learned guitar. You have to do what you think is cool in order to feel cool. Once you feel cool, people will think you are cool because you are, being cool is thinking about what you want and making it happen. People avoid you because they feel bad that their skin is clear...when you look at them right away you probably notice their skin. They probably feel guilty because they can't tell you their secrets to clear skin. It is taboo to talk about acne, people would rather pretend it isn't there. Do yourself a favour and try a diet for a couple months. To keep yourself from thinking about food, find a hobby that you think is cool and do that. Do it hardcore. I guarantee this will help.

Thanks meatpireat but I have severe scars not acne (only mild/moderate acne)

no ...but im a really private person meaning i dnt like making friends and im just happy with my bf.....people dnt really stare at my skin only my sis and she asks me why you have that man i feel like punshing her soemtimes

You really dont like to have friends?

I would love to have more friends

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Wynne Posted Jan 26 2009, 01:02 PM

Work on social skills and hobbies and so forth and then people will be less likely to avoid you. Or have the APPEARANCE of avoiding you. It may just be that you perceive it as such. Whatever, work on your social skills. Work on small talk (yeah, it's boring but a helpful social skill). "Have you seen so and so movie?" What did you think of it? Who is your favorite actor/actress and why? Etc. What's the last book you read? Did you like it? Read any others by that author? Do you like a movie adaptation of a book or the book better, for example (give one). Etc.

Biggest advice: SMILE. Don't look gloomy or preoccupied. IF people are really avoiding you, it is most likely because of a disagreeable expression, NOT your skin. They don't care about that, they care about expressions and how you present yourself. If you look like you might bite them, they'll stay away.

Take the above advice. For years, I used to think that it was only looks that play a part in life, but it is also on how people percieve us.

Edited by bollywood

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Bollywood, I reached the same conclusion last year! I notice that if I smile more at people, they will return the kindness, and perceive me as a friendly person. It's all about making someone else feel better, and that is what gives me life. You said in another person you were thin and tall. You should embrace those gifts! I think if you began to smile, people would become attracted to your positive energy that emits from a smile. My friends told me that I look angry and depressed most of the time, ha. You're very smart and kind, so I (and many others) would love to talk to you! Good luck to you, Bollywood.

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Stranger always avoid sitting beside me. When I am on the train/subway/bus no one will sit beside me unless the seat beside mine is the only avaliable seat. When they do sit beside they will stare at my face and when another seat is avaliable they will move to that seat and continue to stare at me. Even at school students wont seat next to me unless we are friends. The complete opposite of me is this popular girl who is in one of my class. Everyone wants to sit beside her or join her group when we do experiments. Everyone is shallow, they all want to sit beside her/talk to her/be her friend just because she is very pretty.

when u didnt have acne didnt u wanna always work with the pretty girl? Probably because when ppl dont have acne, most people dont tend to think of shallowness because they are flawless as well. Having acne changes a person, and how they start viewing ppl, not on looks anymore because the acne person doesnt really look as good anymore. Im not judging the acne person or anythign towards you just in general :)

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@bollywood and nike

I too just recently understood why this and why that happens in my life. Our only difference is that I learned to keep smiling all my life because I simply do not know any other facial expression or probably because I followed the advise that a smile makes another person happy so deep that it is the only thing I keep doing. Even when I'm sad, crying, angry or confused, I simply smile.

All my life in the past since I had acne I thought people befriend me, surround me, approach me and are kind to me because they pity me or they want to use me(I'm always one of the top students). It hurts me deep inside but I keep smiling and developed a shy and timid personality. I avoid socializing as much as I can and dreaded being in front of many people. I avoid eye to eye contact and I also avoid physical contact. I lost lots of love chances because of this.

But since I read a lot of materials about human behavior and keenly observed around me. And with my discovery of this site I had an epiphany! Our mind is so strong that it can create it's own world! How we perceive ourselves will be what we show to others. Therefore, our perception of ourselves would be the perception of other people of you. If they have very poor perception of you then in their mind you look disgusting and pathetic. But if they have a very good perception of you then in their mind you look sexy and appealing. Even if you have very poor perception at first and they think your disgusting and pathetic, if you can turn around the table and make them perceive you in a very good way then your picture in their mind will change from pathetic to sexy! Physical appearance is like the tip of our fingernails compared to our whole body in terms of creating your image. Our mind seeks congruency with our body so what we think would be the shown in our actions. And they base their perception on your actions.

Now, I know that it is my positive vibe that they draws them to me. Knowing this makes me more confident and thus making me more congruent with a positive image in their mind. This will soon make me one of the popular guys! :lol:

Sorry for the long post! It is vital for me to explain them in detail for the right understanding. ;)

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You are right about the smiling thing. The reason why I don't smile when I see people like for instance, when walking past someone, is that I always think that they will look at me strangely because of my horrible skin or because of the makeup I use and therefore assume they won't smile back. I do try avoid looking at people and I think, well know that this contributes my low self esteem. Believe me, I could be around someone and they would tell me to smile and not look serious or tell me that I look sad because I don't smile. Now, I am not an expert on body language, so it appears that I give off some odd body language. However, in saying this, it seems that people like to be around others who are positive and are happy (ie: smile alot). I realised that I have to work on my confidence and don't need others to tell me this, because I realised that I don't speak confidently and could be why I don't have a job for a long time. I wish that I did not allow my acne to affect my life because now I have larger problems to worry about. I guess as I said, no wonder people like my teachers used to try and befriend me because they used to see me sitting alone in class with no friends. I guess it all makes sense now, because some people care.

Thinking positive can change that attitude. There will always be people who look at you funny for other reason besides acne. Maybe they are staring at your skin color, hair, body shape or outfit. Who knows what goes on in the minds of strangers. It isn't healthy to always assume they're analyzing your skin. Yeah, me too. I've been told the same thing about my demeanor and body language. Yes, there are some people in the world who will care about you. I'm happy you realized this. As for your mistakes, forget them. Failing is staying down, and you've shown that you're ready to rise.

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Stranger always avoid sitting beside me. When I am on the train/subway/bus no one will sit beside me unless the seat beside mine is the only avaliable seat. When they do sit beside they will stare at my face and when another seat is avaliable they will move to that seat and continue to stare at me. Even at school students wont seat next to me unless we are friends. The complete opposite of me is this popular girl who is in one of my class. Everyone wants to sit beside her or join her group when we do experiments. Everyone is shallow, they all want to sit beside her/talk to her/be her friend just because she is very pretty.

when u didnt have acne didnt u wanna always work with the pretty girl? Probably because when ppl dont have acne, most people dont tend to think of shallowness because they are flawless as well. Having acne changes a person, and how they start viewing ppl, not on looks anymore because the acne person doesnt really look as good anymore. Im not judging the acne person or anythign towards you just in general :)

I am a very shy person. EVen when I didnt have acne I was too shy to talk to girls.

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