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I've sunk to the deep lows of self-esteem yet again

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I don't even know what to post anymore.

All I can do is cry the pain away. ffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuck

If there's a God, he/she/it hates me.

edit: shouldnt have made this thread, it was an impulse thing. i sit here at 1 in the morning staring in the mirror wondering why my face, self-esteem, and life so fucked up. what did i do to fucking deserve this?

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Aw...i'm pretty much in the same position as you.

I wish i could say something comforting, but the only thing that really makes me feel better is when my skin is clearing up, which has NOT been happening lately. Words don't mean much.

Life owes us big time!!

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I know it's hard. Especially when you're watching television comparing perfection to your own situation. i've been there for 7 years. it's hard and depressing but it WILL get better. trust me!

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Aw...i'm pretty much in the same position as you.

I wish i could say something comforting, but the only thing that really makes me feel better is when my skin is clearing up, which has NOT been happening lately. Words don't mean much.

Life owes us big time!!

heh, I don't expect to hear anything comforting. I guess what I subconsciously seek from posting here is some sort of "approval" or "confirmation" that I'm not the only one experiencing this.

the only thing I want from life is no more fucking acne. I'll keep the scars, just give me my life back...... please...

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I know it's hard. Especially when you're watching television comparing perfection to your own situation. i've been there for 7 years. it's hard and depressing but it WILL get better. trust me!

I'm going on 7 years too, I still find it amazing that I can fall this low yet again.

I can't look people in the eye, I can't speak, my selfesteem hits rock bottom, and there's a point where I can't hold in the pain anymore and burst into tears in my room.

once my skin clears up a bit more, i feel a little happier, then it comes back and i fall again, and it's just a vicious cycle of pain that prevents me from being.. well.. me.

if that made any sense... >_>

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I know it fucking sucks. especially when u find something that kinda works. then u just start breaking out again. i ended a 3 year relationship because i was so self conscious about him kissing my face. and i cry about that sometimes.

often times i go from cursing god to begging him.... but neither helps.

i guess the best thing i can say is if you know it's bad, do yourself a favor and avoid mirrors....

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I know it's hard. Especially when you're watching television comparing perfection to your own situation. i've been there for 7 years. it's hard and depressing but it WILL get better. trust me!

I'm going on 7 years too, I still find it amazing that I can fall this low yet again.

I can't look people in the eye, I can't speak, my selfesteem hits rock bottom, and there's a point where I can't hold in the pain anymore and burst into tears in my room.

once my skin clears up a bit more, i feel a little happier, then it comes back and i fall again, and it's just a vicious cycle of pain that prevents me from being.. well.. me.

if that made any sense... >_>

Yeah, it completely makes sense. This time last year my acne went down to mild, and it was only on my face. I stopped using birth control in June (stupid, stupid me) and now my acne is moderate again, plus i have these little bumpies on my chest that i've never, ever had before in all 6 years of my acne. I'd have to be on birth control again for a YEAR to get back to where i was.

I want my life back too.

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Yes, I have been in your situation and I remember what it feels like. That pain doesn't go away. It still lingers when I go out in public. Today I was in a waiting room with loads of people and I felt like everyone was staring at me. I feel inferior every time I see an attractive woman. Sometimes I even feel bad for her, like seeing me probably ruined her day. I am doing better at breaking that habit, but this is the damage that acne has left with me. It helps when I remember I have to worry about my own life and not about what others think.

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You can't put your life on hold until your acne or scars improve. As difficult as your circumstances may be, you have to take control of your life and do the best you can with what you have. Now you feel helpless and lost, you feel like events are controlling you. The more you empower yourself the better you will feel. The more active you are the less time you have to dwell on your condition. There will always be ups and downs but you can't stop living your life.

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Yup same for me been breaking out like mad crazy this past month...i haven't looked this bad since june/july, its really killing my self-esteem. I've only had acne for a little under a year too dunno if i can manage any longer...

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OMG!! I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE I KNOW, HOW YOU FEEL, I HAVE HAD ACNE SINCE I WAS 16 NOW I AM 21 AND THERE WHERE TIMES WHERE MY FACE WAS CLEAN AND THEN I HIT ROCK BOTTOM AGAIN, SOMETIMES SOMETHINGS SEEMS TO WORK AND THEN I BEGIN BREAKING OUT AGAIN!!

MIRRORS ARE MY WORST ENEMY, THERE WERE TIMES WHERE I JUST DIDNT WANTED TO GO OUT, I FEEL SO BAD WHEN STRANGERS ON THE STREET STOP ME AND TELL ME THAT THEY HAVE SOMETHING THAT THEY THINK MIGHT HELP, THAT MAKES ME MAD BECAUSE I KNOW THEY ARE LOOKIING AT ME AND THEY KNOW HOW UGLY IT IS. I CRY ALOT TOO, BUT I TRY TO DO IT WHEN NO ONE IS SEEING ME, ALONE IN MY ROOM. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND HE KNOW THEY WAY I FEEL HE TRIES TO MAKE ME FEEL PRETTY BUT I KNOW IS NOT TRUE, HE DOSENT UNDERSTAND THE WAY I FEEL. I KNOW THAT YOU DO, MOST OF YOU HERE IN READING THIS BLOD KNOW HOW I FEEL, DEPRESS, SAD, ALONE, UGLY, AND THE LIST GOES ON.

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I know it's hard. Especially when you're watching television comparing perfection to your own situation. i've been there for 7 years. it's hard and depressing but it WILL get better. trust me!

I'm going on 7 years too, I still find it amazing that I can fall this low yet again.

I can't look people in the eye, I can't speak, my selfesteem hits rock bottom, and there's a point where I can't hold in the pain anymore and burst into tears in my room.

once my skin clears up a bit more, i feel a little happier, then it comes back and i fall again, and it's just a vicious cycle of pain that prevents me from being.. well.. me.

if that made any sense... >_>

Dud I hate to say this but, this morning I was so depressed and I cried for no apparent reason. Maybe I'm just too tired to deal with this anymore. I also agree with you that when my skin clears up a bit more, i feel a little happier , and then the cycle goes on and on. I dont apply any medication at all coz I'm tired of applying stuff to my burned mess-up 75 year old skin (I just turned 20 last dec btw). I dont talk to people, even in the house. I quit school this last 2 semesters and I'm just here in the house surfing the net, etc. I'm a sraight guy also, Acne sucks and I hate my fuc*ing life and how I wish I was never born but too bad I'm here complaining about it.

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My depression got so bad at one point that I actually felt suicidal. I used to avoid mirrors, everytime I walked past one, I would look away. Would avoid eye contact with people, and somedays stay in my room and even refuse to see my family. I know exactly how you feel, I've been below the bottom, you're not alone.

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My depression got so bad at one point that I actually felt suicidal. I used to avoid mirrors, everytime I walked past one, I would look away. Would avoid eye contact with people, and somedays stay in my room and even refuse to see my family. I know exactly how you feel, I've been below the bottom, you're not alone.

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OMG!! I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE I KNOW, HOW YOU FEEL, I HAVE HAD ACNE SINCE I WAS 16 NOW I AM 21 AND THERE WHERE TIMES WHERE MY FACE WAS CLEAN AND THEN I HIT ROCK BOTTOM AGAIN, SOMETIMES SOMETHINGS SEEMS TO WORK AND THEN I BEGIN BREAKING OUT AGAIN!!

MIRRORS ARE MY WORST ENEMY, THERE WERE TIMES WHERE I JUST DIDNT WANTED TO GO OUT, I FEEL SO BAD WHEN STRANGERS ON THE STREET STOP ME AND TELL ME THAT THEY HAVE SOMETHING THAT THEY THINK MIGHT HELP, THAT MAKES ME MAD BECAUSE I KNOW THEY ARE LOOKIING AT ME AND THEY KNOW HOW UGLY IT IS. I CRY ALOT TOO, BUT I TRY TO DO IT WHEN NO ONE IS SEEING ME, ALONE IN MY ROOM. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND HE KNOW THEY WAY I FEEL HE TRIES TO MAKE ME FEEL PRETTY BUT I KNOW IS NOT TRUE, HE DOSENT UNDERSTAND THE WAY I FEEL. I KNOW THAT YOU DO, MOST OF YOU HERE IN READING THIS BLOD KNOW HOW I FEEL, DEPRESS, SAD, ALONE, UGLY, AND THE LIST GOES ON.

I agree, i HAAAATE when people recommend treatments to me because majority of the time they have NO idea what the hell they are talking about because they have clear skin to begin with.

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I can sympathize with all of you. I've been on accutane twice in my life and now 10 years later am about to spend 100$$ of levulan treatments in hopes it will help. My neck acne is so bad I only wear turtlenecks. ALl I can think about is what will happen when the weather is nicer> Mirrors are my enemy as well. I've become depressed and have started limiting my social outings. My husband keeps telling me its not so bad but as a women who does everything to take care of herself...it is. All I can tell you guys is that as someone who has suffered, I never judge someone with acne. All I do is feel their pain.

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I also ask similar questions everyday, i see "perfect" people living their "perfect" lives while im sitting here feeling fucked up and constantly feeling suicidal asking if life is worth all the pain. It's not all about acne it's also other issues in my life i just wish it would go away so i could finally feel how happy really is like?

Also i ask WHY ME????? Y US????

WHY NOT EVERYONE IN THE F*ING WORLD THEN??? THAT WAY OTHERS WOULDNT BE MAKING FUN OF US WHO HAVE ACNE.

ITS VERY DEPRESSING SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I CANT TAKE ONE MORE DAY WITH ACNE AND ALL THE SCARS BUT THEN AGAIN WHAT THE F* ELSE CAN I DO BUT HOPE IT WILL GET BETTER RITE?

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Aw...i'm pretty much in the same position as you.

I wish i could say something comforting, but the only thing that really makes me feel better is when my skin is clearing up, which has NOT been happening lately. Words don't mean much.

Life owes us big time!!

heh, I don't expect to hear anything comforting. I guess what I subconsciously seek from posting here is some sort of "approval" or "confirmation" that I'm not the only one experiencing this.

the only thing I want from life is no more fucking acne. I'll keep the scars, just give me my life back...... please...

I feel the same way, we've all been there.

One thing honestly, that made me feel better about my body overall ... was when I joined the airforce.

When you are in boot camp and you hit the showers for the first time, you see 40+ other bodys of the same age generally and same sex... and lemme tell you...

Seeing 40 other naked women, comparing their bodies and their skin compared to mine.. Made me feel quite beautiful... Simply because you don't realize how most people have tons of other imperfections just like yourself. Some girls had horrible scars or stretchmarks all over.. some had creepy and very LARGE birthmarks.. others were hairy like men.. hehe

It can go on and on forever.. but seriously, do you really think the whole world looks like those people in magazines and tv do? With all the makeup and bath/beauty products and prcedures, it's just this false imagery we have in our minds, who WOULDNT BE DEPRESSED?

You're beautiful, TRUST ME

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