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EricB

Going on a date with acne scars

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Seriously guys, check out the dermaroller, 6 months and my scars are about 30% better. This isn't some bullshit sales pitch, I just feel your pain ;) Had dating issues for years but now married with 2 kids and a gorgeous wife didn't give a damn about my scars! I did and looked into treatments, found dermarolling last year and haven't looked back.

Good luck guys and gals, there is hope these days!

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First post!

I'm so glad I found this board. I've never found anyone I was able to talk with about this topic that truly understood, and now I find a whole group of people! I can't believe some of the things I'm reading, because they are exactly the things that have been ruling my life.

I've always had some problems with acne, and usually had at least 3 or 4 pimples from the time I was about 12 up until now. I remember a guy saying in 6th grade: "what's that thing on your face? a mosquito bite?" and my face just turned bright red...funny enough, that guy has been one of my best friends since 7th grade. (I'm 23 now) anyway, about 4 months ago, I decided to go on birth control pills to help out my skin. Stupidly I decided to go off my antibiotic at the same time. And the person who prescribed my BC pill gave me like, the WORST one, I'm not exactly sure what it was, but it had the androgenic kind of progestin which actually makes acne worse. I've never seen my face look like that...my cheeks were COVERED with deep, huge, painful acne. I had to take ibuprofen every day so it wouldn't hurt so bad. My face was so inflamed, it was hot to the touch. I had dreams about my acne every night - dreams of trying to hide my face, dreams of my face swelling up and just getting bigger and redder, dreams in which I would be talking to people and covering my face with my hands. At to make things even funner, I was taking 7 hours of dance classes a week, so I got to put my hair in a bun, leaving me no way to hide myself, and go dance in a room with fluorescent lighting. My dance teacher would remark in front of the class that I was always looking down. I would go home every day and cry. The only place I felt even at all ok was in my room, with the lights really low, in my bed. It was one of the worst times I've ever had in my life. Even now that I've gone on TONS of medication to fix it, thinking about it makes me cry. I don't think I'll ever forget the emotional toll it took on me. I tried to tell people, but they would say things like "oh, that's not that bad" or just act like was nothing. Trust me, it was terrible. I had probably 40 or 50 big and deep cysts on my cheeks.

I don't want to be arrogant, but I am a very pretty girl. I've always been told so, but during this time I felt like the ugliest person in the world. The feeling I often felt was shame - like I'd done something wrong and was trying to hide it. Even now, when I tell my close friends what happened, I begin the story with "my doctor prescribed me the wrong birth control pills so my face broke out terribly," because for some reason I feel I need an excuse, like it would have been my fault if it wasn't due to the birth control pills. Who knows if it even was due to the BC pills. It doesn't matter any more. Now, it's pretty much cleared up, and I've started taking Accutane to get rid of it once and for all, but my cheeks remain covered in scars. It's difficult to cover with make up and although it's not as bad as actually having acne all over my cheeks, it's kind of a different kind of sadness I have. Like many of you said, I'm constantly thinking about the lighting I'm in, I think I'd be so much happier if I didn't have scars, I'm nervous about people and guys seeing my skin, and it sort of controls my life. When I'm at bars I still get hit on, but a part of me still thinks that I'm not "really" getting hit on, and people are talking to me but in the back of their minds they're really thinking about my scars, since I am.

Wow, this is really long, but I just need to let it out. I will have to start my own blog. And I'm sorry I know this is corny, but I'm so happy that you guys are all here! I feel kind of comforted knowing there are other people out there that know how I feel.

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First post!

I'm so glad I found this board. I've never found anyone I was able to talk with about this topic that truly understood, and now I find a whole group of people! I can't believe some of the things I'm reading, because they are exactly the things that have been ruling my life.

I've always had some problems with acne, and usually had at least 3 or 4 pimples from the time I was about 12 up until now. I remember a guy saying in 6th grade: "what's that thing on your face? a mosquito bite?" and my face just turned bright red...funny enough, that guy has been one of my best friends since 7th grade. (I'm 23 now) anyway, about 4 months ago, I decided to go on birth control pills to help out my skin. Stupidly I decided to go off my antibiotic at the same time. And the person who prescribed my BC pill gave me like, the WORST one, I'm not exactly sure what it was, but it had the androgenic kind of progestin which actually makes acne worse. I've never seen my face look like that...my cheeks were COVERED with deep, huge, painful acne. I had to take ibuprofen every day so it wouldn't hurt so bad. My face was so inflamed, it was hot to the touch. I had dreams about my acne every night - dreams of trying to hide my face, dreams of my face swelling up and just getting bigger and redder, dreams in which I would be talking to people and covering my face with my hands. At to make things even funner, I was taking 7 hours of dance classes a week, so I got to put my hair in a bun, leaving me no way to hide myself, and go dance in a room with fluorescent lighting. My dance teacher would remark in front of the class that I was always looking down. I would go home every day and cry. The only place I felt even at all ok was in my room, with the lights really low, in my bed. It was one of the worst times I've ever had in my life. Even now that I've gone on TONS of medication to fix it, thinking about it makes me cry. I don't think I'll ever forget the emotional toll it took on me. I tried to tell people, but they would say things like "oh, that's not that bad" or just act like was nothing. Trust me, it was terrible. I had probably 40 or 50 big and deep cysts on my cheeks.

I don't want to be arrogant, but I am a very pretty girl. I've always been told so, but during this time I felt like the ugliest person in the world. The feeling I often felt was shame - like I'd done something wrong and was trying to hide it. Even now, when I tell my close friends what happened, I begin the story with "my doctor prescribed me the wrong birth control pills so my face broke out terribly," because for some reason I feel I need an excuse, like it would have been my fault if it wasn't due to the birth control pills. Who knows if it even was due to the BC pills. It doesn't matter any more. Now, it's pretty much cleared up, and I've started taking Accutane to get rid of it once and for all, but my cheeks remain covered in scars. It's difficult to cover with make up and although it's not as bad as actually having acne all over my cheeks, it's kind of a different kind of sadness I have. Like many of you said, I'm constantly thinking about the lighting I'm in, I think I'd be so much happier if I didn't have scars, I'm nervous about people and guys seeing my skin, and it sort of controls my life. When I'm at bars I still get hit on, but a part of me still thinks that I'm not "really" getting hit on, and people are talking to me but in the back of their minds they're really thinking about my scars, since I am.

Wow, this is really long, but I just need to let it out. I will have to start my own blog. And I'm sorry I know this is corny, but I'm so happy that you guys are all here! I feel kind of comforted knowing there are other people out there that know how I feel.

lucy I enjoyed your post. I think we all have that dread of being seen in certain lights, and it can be so tiring to constantly think of such things. I dont know what most of us can do about it except share in the misery until we all find our own way.

plz write blogs cause you have nice writing.

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Wow, thanks mebe and cartwheeling monkey! :dance: Wow, there are lots of smiley face options. This is pretty awesome. But what's with the one playing a violin? I did start a blog, but I'm not sure how to attach a link to my signature...anyone able to help me out with that?

mebe: it is definitely tiring, it's really a shame to think of all the energy we use in obsessing over things like scars. I sometimes get frustrated because I think I'd have all this energy to concentrate on other, really important things, but it gets used up thinking about something that should be such a small part of my life.

cartwheeling monkey: woohoo, a drink! does 6 months from now work for you? ;)

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Some guy in my lab at class today was obviously flirting with me... insisted on being my lab partner, followed me to my car, invited me to dinner (which I had to decline). I got downstairs to the lockers where I keep my change of clothes (I had Yoga earlier) and stood at the mirror for like ten minutes thinking, "What, is he blind? Didn't he see my skin? He was right next to me in the bright lab lights, and he was STILL into me...?" It blew my mind.

Sounds like we need to start an Acne.org dating service! That way, your date will not only be unbothered by your acne/scars, but will relate! :wub:

It sounds like you almost want people to notice and be turned off by it... Are you thinking that any guy who isn't bothered by your perceived flaw must be flawed himself in some way? If so, that is very unfortunate. Because chances are he just likes you and doesn't care, or doesn't even notice. That's the very kind of guy you DO want.

Most people here are probably younger than me... Believe me, there will come a time when you'll realize that most things like this are self-inflicted more than anything. Yes, being flawed on some level sucks, but what you do to yourself over it is far worse than what other people think or do.

And as far as being with other people that have the same problems... I've found that can be more detrimental than positive. Because what happens is that neither of you can be uplifting for the other. You basically just sit around having these little contests to try and prove who's worse off. And that's not just with this, that's anything. People need to compliment each other and empower each other. That's what makes a good team.

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