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EricB

Going on a date with acne scars

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Well, I get a lot of girls who seem interested in me that I meet out at a club for example. It usually starts out with them knowing one of my friends and seeing me from far enough away. After getting phone numbers from friends etc and hearing that they are inerested I am always so nervous to actually go out on a date with them! I feel like as soon as they see me close up they will realize how bad my skin is and loose interest... Before I had these damn acne scars I was really outgoing, funny, confident (maybe even a bit cockey) but just being able to be myself seemed to attract girls that I was interested in. Now I feel like the whole date I am so worried they will notice my scars that I cannot be myself and I feel like I have turned into a boring weirdo...This sucks! Can anyone relate? Girls or guys? Also, before my skin problem if I got rejected I never cared becasue I was confident in myself and just figured it was their loss, now I get really down and blame everything on my scars...

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Well, I get a lot of girls who seem interested in me that I meet out at a club for example. It usually starts out with them knowing one of my friends and seeing me from far enough away. After getting phone numbers from friends etc and hearing that they are inerested I am always so nervous to actually go out on a date with them! I feel like as soon as they see me close up they will realize how bad my skin is and loose interest... Before I had these damn acne scars I was really outgoing, funny, confident (maybe even a bit cockey) but just being able to be myself seemed to attract girls that I was interested in. Now I feel like the whole date I am so worried they will notice my scars that I cannot be myself and I feel like I have turned into a boring weirdo...This sucks! Can anyone relate? Girls or guys? Also, before my skin problem if I got rejected I never cared becasue I was confident in myself and just figured it was their loss, now I get really down and blame everything on my scars...

I relate to you, Eric! Acne scarring may change one's personality!

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exactly.. I feel that my personality has changed too. I used to look foward to going out and meeting people. Now all I can think about while I'm out is how my skin must look in that certain light... I would always be the one who wanted to stay out the longest etc., now I'm always the one who wants to go home first... Oh well, I guess we just have to learn to make the best of our situation. There are people out there with much worse things than acne scars! IT just sucks cuz its right on your damn face... no way to hide em... haha

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WOW, eric im the same exact way. When i was with a big group of friends, i used to be the life of the party. And now im the quiet one because i dont want anyones attentions and look at my scars. And as for girls, i get a lot but too embarrassed about my scars weather they care about it or not. I wear hats to dry and hide some, and i get nervous when i get closely face to face to a girl because they could really see my skin. hate it! I atleast want a nice complextion with all my scars the same color of my skin but thyere brown marks.

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Hey atleast you go on dates.

:wall:

Yeah I don't date anymore either...I say it's cause I'm too busy but really I am too self conscious. And I can't bear the thought of someone seeing me in the morning without makeup. :redface:

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I think alot of us feel this way to some extent. For me the worst is in bright sunshine, like the beach. Also, elevators! It seems like the ugliest flourescent lighting. Thank goodness for longer hair and makeup.

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i know how you feel. if i had perfect skin id be out huntin chicks rite now. the hard part is when they see you from a good distance and think your hot..but then they come close and they get dissapointed. know how you feel bro.

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i have the same feeling, when i was a little kid i got a chickenpox scar and didnt give a fuck about it. now since i'm in my prime for mating its all i think about. its bullshit. yea girls from a distance love me. haha

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Some guy in my lab at class today was obviously flirting with me... insisted on being my lab partner, followed me to my car, invited me to dinner (which I had to decline). I got downstairs to the lockers where I keep my change of clothes (I had Yoga earlier) and stood at the mirror for like ten minutes thinking, "What, is he blind? Didn't he see my skin? He was right next to me in the bright lab lights, and he was STILL into me...?" It blew my mind.

Sounds like we need to start an Acne.org dating service! That way, your date will not only be unbothered by your acne/scars, but will relate! :wub:

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Honestly my current boyfriend is the only guy I've dated who's dealt with acne and now does have a big of scaring on his cheeks. I didn't notice this when dating him after we first met, until we talked about it one day. I've never discussed my skin with anyone I'm close to of the opposite sex, and I can't TELL YOU how relieved and relaxed I was noticing how nice it was to talk to someone who's been where I've been with my skin. After this I felt a lot easier about not wearing makeup around him 24/7 because he understands and he prefers the real me before all that fake makeup. Honestly someone who's had clear skin all their lives like most of my ex's wouldn't understand, would make me feel worse, and I'd not be able to discuss it as open.

It's kinda nice.

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Yea, I wish I could meet a girl who had the same problem as me.. My ex girlfriend had skin problems, not as bad as mine but she could hide it with makeup. It was so nice becasue we both could relate and knew how the other felt about their skin. By the way, yea those damn elevators are the worst!!! haha... When I go to the gym I notice some girls checkin me out and I always end up in the elevator with them on the way down to the parking lot and I know they must be like holy crap he has horrible skin!!! haha... i hate it! I swear my problems would be solved if I could at least grow some facial hair, but I have no facial hair on my cheeks!! Well, I got a date lined up Friday with a really pretty girl, she has also never seen me up close.. My conversation skills suck now cuz all I think about is hiding my damn scars that I can't seem to be an interesting date... So I'm super nervous, going on a first date used to never worry me one bit! I'm just gonna try and forget about it and be interesting and ask a lot of questions, and if she doesn't like me cuz of some scars, then screw it...

Ms Awesome: that would be sweet, I always wondered how cool it would be to have some sort of dating service for people with bad skin.. everyone could just be themselves and not worry about standing in different light etc... ;)

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yungbuk: yea dude, it sucks.. i actually had a girl come up to me in a club a few months ago and be like oh, well u were kinda cute from far away... damn! it was like someone stabbed a freakin knife right into my stomach!

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its a shame that acne has to be in your youth. life doesnt seem fair sometimes. hopefully your bad experience will cause people to make a better world.

My Dad is so lucky he didnt get acne til he was atleast 30-35!

So unfair cos these days he has alot of facial hair that any scars go un noticed!

He still hardly has scars anyway and he has more neck acne then anything... lucky him!

And for them girls to say that u were cute from far away like that.. That disgusts me

It would even make me feel sik! They can shut there mouthes!

Im not sure what well help fix ice pick scarring but I think once my acne clears im buying a Derma Roller and some Terpoline maybe?

The other day a girl told me I was a better looking version of brad pitt which I guess has given me some confidence even tho I know it isnt true!

Oh well I geuss we will all ride our luck and continue trying to cure our scars gd luck all I wish u all the best with ur future dates!

One day we will all find someone special that will love us for who we are scars and everything!

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jimhouse: nice post, your right.. By the way whats a dermaroller? Ive been reading a lot about them on here, but I am kind of confused as to what it is, how you use it or where to buy one... do they work?

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Honestly scars aren't as back as current acne... If you ask me

My friend had the really bad acne, the cycts that got all sore and red and HUGE all over his face, all throughout Jr High and high school.

He played football, always got girlfriends, even got engaged before alot of us...

And seriously, it's all in your attitude towards life.

Women don't go for guys that are "jerks" as most people think..

The truth is... Jerks tend to me more sure of themselves then the quiet, shy, or nice guys that have self-esteem issues.

If you think and act like you are the "shit"... people will agree with you...

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kate: you are very right. It is all about attitude. Girls do not like shy insecure guys. However, I think it's kinda sexy if a girl is a bit insecure and shy... Dunno, maybe it's and oppiste attracts thing.. Not a big fan of the girls who think they are too cool for school...

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I have the EXACT same kinda situation happen to me. I go to bars/clubs a lot and get a lot of phone numbers, but i'm too afraid to call them and set up a date because i'm afraid they will see the "real" me. And these are girls who i would be making out with in the club. I'm afraid to call because a) they may have been pretty drunk, so they dont remember what i look like; b) it was dark in the club so they didnt get a good look at my acne and acne scars. My scarring is so much more noticable in the daytime

But if you are able to get a date just be sure not to bring up your insecurities. good luck.

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Some of the pictures I have seen of you guys look great, your skin looks fine. You need to stop freaking out a little. If you got their number in a club you're golden. Sometimes the dark of a club makes your skin look worse than daylight! The shadows and the lights.

I have some facial scars, but they have never really bothered me. I can get girls no problem. However, I have body scars and they drive me crazy. Whenever I get a girl back to my place and in bed, I have to make sure everything is really dark and I always get very uncomfortable when she starts feeling my chest or back. It's the worst thing in the world, and then after I get by on a couple dates but I eventually feel like I have to come clean... it's terrible, not swimming, and being afraid to take your shirt off in the light after being intimate... bah!

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man this thread is the story of my life right now....i'm so damn hit or miss when it comes to my confidence. one day i feel fine...the next i'm searching for the best lighting to stand in...it sucks.

anyway, don't get too down...there are great women/men out there who don't judge based on only looks.

there really should be a more social section of the board for meeting people in your local area...if not for dating just for support and friends. :D

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Hey atleast you go on dates.

:wall:

Yeah I don't date anymore either...I say it's cause I'm too busy but really I am too self conscious. And I can't bear the thought of someone seeing me in the morning without makeup. :redface:

Lol I can't sit/stand close to people when they're talking to me. I sort of inch back slowly, trying to get under more flattering light. Meh.

:ninja:

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