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unluckyguy123

I Need Some Support - Urgently

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I'm at the same place you are. I feel like crawling into bed and crying, no joke. I picture myself before all of this happened and it's almost unreal. I don't know if this is a life lesson, a test or there is no reason for it at all. I'm struggling and trying to stay positive, just stay positive man. I hope everything improves for you, I truly do.

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Hey there,

I can definitely identify with feeling ugly because of the state of my skin. Its a very difficult thing to deal with. The way that I have been getting through it is by being perisistent in looking for ways to improve my skin. When I feel bad about my skin, I get on the internet, research treatments that might help and that makes me feel like I am moving forward.

Depression should also be recognized, and your words definitely indicate you are feeling very down. The way I am getting through this one is counseling and antidepressants. Yes, as silly as it sounds you can go to a counselor and tell them that you feel ugly because of your face.

And then the hardest thing, I think, is to just have perspective. Life is about much more than the status of your skin. Think about how it makes you a more compassionate person. Try to turn it into something positive.

Another approach is to think about someone who has it worse than you do. This one, even though it sounds bad, is the one that helps me the most. Unfortunately we always compare ourselves to the "better" one. Try comparing yourself to someone not as fortunate as you.

When I watch programs like discovery health and see two people who have gotten through their lives while being attached at the head (conjoined twins), or see a woman who lost all 4 limbs while contracting an infection in the hospital while delivering her baby, or someone who was paralyzed in an accident...and see these people carrying on will a positive outlook on life---I am inspired. We all have that ability, it is just up to us to stay focused on the positive. And of course, seek support (as you are) when weak points shine through. And that is totally okay. We all have times that are harder than others.

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I know how scars are really depressing, because they leave a mark of a horrible memory you don't want to keep, and they additionally make you feel like you're gross.

But you are not, by no means.

I have a small scar on my cheek that has faded over time, but in the sun it's visible. It's a small, centimeter tall scar that I got when I was attacked by a pitbull at age 6. For a few years, it traumatized me just to look at it. But thankfully, time is dimishing it, gradually.

Scars, most of the time, will fade. Maybe they won't disappear exactly, but they do go away if you have patience.

Two scars on your nose is not the end of your life, either. If you're well-educated, scars should mean nothing to you! Replace the lost self confidence with the confidence you should definatly have of speaking well, and being able to convey ideas, etc, because of that acquired knowledge.

Think of all the things you have ahead of you. You're only 24. You have loads of time to fall in love, if you haven't already, to become successful not only secularly but also as a person.

Trust me, educated guys are hot. And most girls will look past two tiny scars; they'd probaly be worrying so much about how you think of them to even notice. You should let tiny imperfections just disappear; and you do that by forgetting them.

Honestly, this is the first time I remembered I had a scar in years. Hahaha

So again, pleaseee don't let something that, if you think about it, doesn't mean much, destroy your life. It wouldn't be fair to yourself.

Be optomistic, have hope, and you have everyone on this site's support. You have your own self-support. Encourage yourself by thinking past things that will eventually go away.

Look at the bigger picture, and try to make it the best picture you can.

The picture being your life.

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Hey there,

Your post was quite emotional and I was picking up on a sense of desperation in your words. It's understandable that you're upset and depressed about the scars but believe me, this is only a blip in your life and you HAVE to look to the future! I bet you have so much going for you. Time will heal, trust me. Hold your head up high and go get 'em! ;)

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It sounds like you're obsessing over some minor imperfections that most other people wouldn't even notice about you.

I know a woman who has severe acne scarring and it was the second thing I noticed about her. But after knowing her for a month I do not see the scars, or do not notice them anymore at all. That is just how it goes; people begin to see someone as a whole and don't focus on one area, even with the most glaringly obvious imperfections including a missing limb. I'm a whole heck of a lot older than you and please believe me. :D

I myself have even more severe scarring than that woman I spoke of, but honestly I don't even pay attention to it when I look in the mirror. I'm admiring my new hair color and how it complements my eyes. :D

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I don't know how big your scars are but if you only have two on your nose and no where else, I think you are fine. I think you should embrace them as what makes you "unique", give you character, etc. You are a guy, and are not expected to look flawless by women. The men are the one's who would make a bigger deal if a woman had two flaws. These are the facts, but it shouldn't matter what other people think of your appearance anyways, don't live life based on what other's think of you.

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I just want to say thank you to everyone for their posts. It so nice to such nice words, you are a bunch of such lovely people, and I am so happy that I joined this forum, it is really helping me, and it is nice to tell people my story and for people to help me.

Edited by unluckyguy123

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Hi again. I think that right now your primary problem is actually the depression arising from the grief. June isn't long ago at all, and the loss of an important figure in your life is such a really hard burden to bear. I think that at another time in your life when you weren't dealing also with such grief you'd not even notice the minor flaws yourself.

I must recommend that you do consider seeing a counselor to work through your grief and feelings of inadequacy and lack of social outlets. When you begin to recover from the depression (and you WILL), you will begin to focus more on the things that are positive about yourself.

While you're waiting for an appointment with a counselor, try telling yourself STOP when you begin focusing on your perceived flaws. Purposefully flick a rubber band around your wrist when you catch yourself thinking of negative thoughts (this helps you remember with a physical action that you must not fall back into the trap of negativity). It might be hard to do, but write yourself up a list of your good qualities. Be HONEST. There are many more good qualities in most people than they give themselves credit for. Right now I don't think you'd be afflicted by hubris. :D A bit of ego stroking is well and good when you're down on yourself to begin with.

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