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In this shallow, looks obsessed world we live in, can a gal find love if she has big zits and scars covering her face like a tiger? :( If I dare to step out one day (on the limited days I do step out) without make-up, can a guy give me the time of day? :(

I don't know why i'm asking this as the answer is clearly that nobody wants a girl with acne and scars, not even the boys with acnee. :D

Has anyone here got acne and has found love with a guy that doesn't have acne? And I mean real acne, sever acne, I don't mean a few zits here and there once in a blue moon?

Please give me hope/. :D

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I met my husband in HS, when my acne was much more moderate than it is today. And I have made very dear friends with severe acne - it's all about the person underneath the face. It really is.

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It's difficult sometimes to figure out who we are past the obvious masks of appearence - but who you are is there, and it is not simply what you look like. You are so much more than that, even if you can't find it within yourself to believe that right now. You truly are more than the collection of insecurities and fear - and moreoever, you're not alone in your struggles with the mask.

Please keep talking. We're listening.

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i have moderate/severe acne and i dated a guy with perfect skin (and he never even washed it! not fair) i mean we eventually broke up... but it was COMPLETELY unrelated to my skin lol. he never even mentioned my acne... and i never talked about it. he obviously didnt care.... and he was a pretty heartless person lol. i mean.. if you find someone you like... you just gotta hold your breath and take a chance. they probably wont even care if you have acne!! but easier said than done i know! ive been avoiding dating because of my skin too

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you know ive thought about this alot, and i honestly dont know if i would date someone with acne, im not tryin to sound shallow, cause i def hav acne, but honestly its hard to say, i cannot answer unless it actually happens, jus my thoughts im not tryin crush your hopes or say that there isnt any chance for you im sayin is that theres more to datin/likein someone then jus how their skin is..well like Yo Adrienne, i decided not to try and date because of my skin, but its been a while since i had a girlfriend and its kinda gettin lonely:( maybe i should hold my breath and take a chance..maybe we can try it together? :)

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I'm a 28 year old guy and for me it's about personal confidence. It isn't the fact that a woman has acne that makes her unsexy, or unattractive. It is about her lack of self-confidence. I know, it sounds like an oxymoron, or something to say that if you have acne you still have to be, or act confidently...it's hard to do. If there is anyone who knows how hard it is, it's me! But, you have to get to a point where you're like, "Yeah, I have acne...so, what...if you don't wanna talk to me or give me a chance because of that than screw you." Also, you have to realize that nobody is perfect and everyone knows that. I know it does't make things any easier, but atleast you're a member of this site and that in itself is a step in the right direction. Everyone, and I mean everyone has insecurities...they just don't talk about it.

Bottom Line: Find something that makes you feel confident.

Not sure if this helps. Just thought I add my 2 cents.

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I'm a 28 year old guy and for me it's about personal confidence. It isn't the fact that a woman has acne that makes her unsexy, or unattractive. It is about her lack of self-confidence. I know, it sounds like an oxymoron, or something to say that if you have acne you still have to be, or act confidently...it's hard to do. If there is anyone who knows how hard it is, it's me! But, you have to get to a point where you're like, "Yeah, I have acne...so, what...if you don't wanna talk to me or give me a chance because of that than screw you." Also, you have to realize that nobody is perfect and everyone knows that. I know it does't make things any easier, but atleast you're a member of this site and that in itself is a step in the right direction. Everyone, and I mean everyone has insecurities...they just don't talk about it.

Bottom Line: Find something that makes you feel confident.

Not sure if this helps. Just thought I add my 2 cents.

you know thats so true..i read in some magazine(forgot the name) that Cam Gigandet, who plays James in the Twilight was insecurities about his body with the scenes when he had to hav his shirt off, I was taken by surprise because that guy has the body i want lol just my thoughts

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My kid sister has pretty bad acne (and she picks at it, which makes it look even worse), and she's been dating a guy with clear skin for over six months now. They seem really happy together. She doesn't really wear makeup or anything, and from what I can tell, her boyfriend doesn't care at all.

So yeah, I'd say it's definitely possible. Just keep your chin up. If you know you're a good person, other people will probably pick up on how great you are too--acne or no acne.

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Obviously you're going to encounter shallow people who take you for your looks and not your personality, but there is also a good amount of people with well-rounded minds and will accept you for being you. I've been dating the same girl for almost 3 years and the first 2 were when I had pretty moderate acne. She never brought it up and I could tell she never thought about it. There are amazing people out there, you just have keep looking.

Sorry for the cliche answer.

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Ah man, I totally feel your struggle here. I wonder the same thing myself. I mean, yes, it is about the person underneath the skin, but in order to have a relationship there must be some type of physical appeal. Hmm... Although, I can say right now that just because you have acne does NOT mean you are automatically ugly. I cannot even begin to say how strongly I feel about that statement. I honestly believe that acne does not define how "pretty" you are. Keep that in mind. Here's another little something I believe: the better you get to know and like a person, the better they look to you. Ask anyone, they'll probably tell you the same thing. Your personality really does have an effect on your looks.

Good luck girl, I'm in the same boat.

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My flawless fiance` could care less about my acne. He gets a lot of compliments on his skin...because it's very even and a very nice shade. Some women that he works with have asked him if he wears make-up! The only thing he does is wash his face with regular old soap whenever he takes a shower. That's it.

If you're trying to find a guy, ignore your acne for a while. Yep. That's right. Do your absolute best to ignore it and put on your "I'm confident and happy to be me" face because most guys who aren't superficial blubbering idiots will see your confidence before they see your skin.

I need to stop complaining to my fiance because he just gets irritated when I do because he doesn't "understand" why it's such a big deal! He constantly reassures me that he never pays attention to my skin, and that even if he did, it wouldn't change his feelings for me.

So yes, it's totally and completely possible to find love when you're acne prone. You just have to learn to let it go. Try treating it without obsessing over it. (easier said than done, I know)

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The message on these forums seems to be one of triumphant optimism: "nobody cares about your acne". As much as I would like to believe this, I can't. I remember the first time I saw someone with moderate acne... I said aloud, "oh my God." I know that it was unfair (as I suffer from pretty bad acne at this moment), but my point is that the majority of people have an intuitive response to acne, and that response is one of avoidance and mild disgust.

On a site called acne.org, you can't expect anything but people who sympathize and accept you despite your acne. Why would any other kind of person sign up?

If you want to be confident and assume that nobody cares about your acne, then I recommend you do so. It will attract people who can accept you for who you are. But the thoughts will always be there for most people.

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Back when I had flawless skin, I dated and fell in love with someone who had pretty bad facial and body acne. Honestly, I wished that he didn't have acne but not really for my sake-- for his. The acne didn't bother me but I did feel bad for him when we met new people because I knew he felt uncomfortable. We've broken up since because he turned out to be an asshole. Haha.

But yeah, to the OP, I'm positive you'll be able to find love. It's so hard to be confident with bad skin, I know but try to focus on other parts of your appearance like wearing eye-makeup, getting manicures, a nice hair-style, clothes, shoes, perfume, a bright smile, jewelry and of course, personality. I'm not saying you don't already do those things, because I don't know-- but I personally feel better about myself when I put effort into my appearance and other qualities about myself (even when I feel like staying in bed all day). It makes a difference for me.

Good luck!

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My kid sister has pretty bad acne (and she picks at it, which makes it look even worse), and she's been dating a guy with clear skin for over six months now. They seem really happy together. She doesn't really wear makeup or anything, and from what I can tell, her boyfriend doesn't care at all.

So yeah, I'd say it's definitely possible. Just keep your chin up. If you know you're a good person, other people will probably pick up on how great you are too--acne or no acne.

So I am c'est la vigne's kid sister. I met my boyfriend when my acne was the worst and I wasn't doing anything about it, and he never seemed to notice, so I playfully complained about it to see if he'd make a comment. He said he knows my acne is bad but he didn't care because it was my personality that he cared about, not what I look like. Unfortunately, when he gets flare ups I can't help but be a little discourages at touching his face because I'm weird about stuff like that, but he on the other hand, which might sound gross, he will kiss my face, acne and all.

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It is possible. My acne is mild now but it was pretty severe back in the day. Now my face is covered with little pock mark scars that I will probably have for the rest of my life. I'm dating a guy with perfect, amazing skin. Mine looks like shit in comparison to his. And you know what? He doesn't care.

It is possible for you to find love even with bad skin. Please keep your chin up, my dear. :comfort:

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The message on these forums seems to be one of triumphant optimism: "nobody cares about your acne". As much as I would like to believe this, I can't. I remember the first time I saw someone with moderate acne... I said aloud, "oh my God." I know that it was unfair (as I suffer from pretty bad acne at this moment), but my point is that the majority of people have an intuitive response to acne, and that response is one of avoidance and mild disgust.

On a site called acne.org, you can't expect anything but people who sympathize and accept you despite your acne. Why would any other kind of person sign up?

If you want to be confident and assume that nobody cares about your acne, then I recommend you do so. It will attract people who can accept you for who you are. But the thoughts will always be there for most people.

Well...yeah. Nobody here is denying that there will be people who notice it and those who are turned off by it...but we're not trying to attract those kinds of people now are we?

The point is though, to live your life and stop obsessing over your skin. People will be more likely to notice YOU and not your skin. I also disagree about "the majority" of people. My best friend, when we were in high school, has always suffered from bad acne...the kind that leaves huge dents in the face. But you know what? She was smart, witty, hard working and incredibly nice and polite. Contrary to myself, she was one of the most popular students in school. If the majority was disgusted by her skin...how could that have possibly been? People loved her because she was so outgoing and warmhearted and I don't think I've hardly EVER heard her complain about her skin. We'd occasionally exchange ideas on how to treat out skin (hers was, by far, worse than mine) but other than that, she didn't care. She never let it impede her and in the end, I think the only people who disliked her were the guys she broke up with and a few guys whom she told off when they were harassing other students.

My point is that...who cares if a few people are like that? We're on this site to prove that there ARE tons of good people who will accept you for you, acne and all and to offer optimism and hope. You just have to let your personality shine through before it'll happen. It may not be as easy in High School...but high school is an absolute joke anyhow. It's so insignificant.

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I believe it is completely possible to find love with acne because I have! When I started dating my boyfriend over three years ago we were in high school, and my acne was mild. I wore make up so I don't even think he could tell. Throughout the years my skin has been like a roller coaster of acne! Its gone from mild, to clear, to moderate on the verge of severe, to clear, to chemical burns, to clear, and currently its back to moderate and getting worse (fortunatley I'm starting Accutane today :dance: ). However, regardless of how my skin looks at any point in time my boyfriend (with perfect, clear, naturally tanned skin :doh: ) still finds me attractive, and tells me I'm beautiful. Are most guys going to be like that? Probably not, but you just need to wait and find one that is. It's not easy, but definately possible. Don't give up!

Oh and P.S. to the OP I too was scared to take Accutane for a LONNNGG time. Finally took the leap and I'm taking my first pill today. Just go to your derm and have a talk to him/her about it, decide with him/her if its something you want/should do. Good Luck!

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i have had severe acne for as long as i can remember. i've tried everything, including accutane, with no relief. i still suffer from it, trying to control my cysts and dealing with the redness and scars. I've never dated anyone with acne like mine. i used to wear makeup - a lot of it. foundation, powder, concealer, the works. i wouldn't leave my dorm room for class if my makeup didn't cover right b/c of peeling or dryness. it was pretty much terrible. then i started to think "who really cares?" b/c if someone was going to be an ass about it, then i wouldn't want to be with them or care to be their friend. recently, i went to dinner with my boyfriend of 1 year (who has pimples sometimes...but really, just good skin, lol) and i "shellacked" foundation on my skin to cover up for our anniversary date. well, the makeup just kept coming off. on his nose when i kissed him, on his shirt, everywhere! he looked at me and said "you know, you're so much prettier without that stuff on your face". from that point on, i threw it all away and now wear a mineral veil and a little mineral bronzer. my skin actually feels better and i don't have to worry about it coming off anymore.

they're going to love you for you. i never thought i was pretty enough b/c of my acne, but self esteem and confidence show WAY more! yes, people are shallow...but that's not the type of guy you're gonna date, right? it might be a while until you find Mr. Right who won't care, but don't let it control your life! i wasted way too much time being worried about what i looked like to actually enjoy things in life.

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I know how hopeless you feel.

My story is kinda different. I'm actually an attractive person...I modeled when I was a teenager and had amazing skin up until I turned 20. Then all hell broke loose...acne everywhere! It was like I woke up one morning and had to worry about my skin. Instead of dealing with it the right way, I began to pick at it. I developed OCD and acne dysmorphia. I was convinced that no one would ever want to be with me because I was not pretty anymore.

I'm now engaged to an amazing guy who has really taught me to not worry about appearances so much. But just to let you know...if you think you have it bad...even if you do have cysts all over your face...my face actually became infected from picking at it so much. The swelling was absolutely incredible. It looked like my face had undergone MASSIVE plastic surgery. All of it was because I picked at my face. The infection had actually spread to other parts of my body and I was ill for some time. My point is, if my fiance could deal with all of that...there must be hope for others.

Chin up.

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