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Shantife

acne as a deciding factor in relationship

Lately i've been thinking how i would like to get into some kind of relationship,

BUT that person would have to have acne too.

I know this may sound silly but i don't think others (without acne) will understand my problem,

and i can't wear make-up all the time nor the make up can cover up all the flaws.

And if you're a boy then acne isn't such a problem but for a girl-well it's a quite an important criterium unfortunately.

Do you think i'm too extreme in my thinking or does it make sense to you too?

Also, i don't really know how to find such person, i don't know how would it actually work out in for example online conversation-do you have acne? i think we would be a perfect match LOL

Sadly even people with acne sometimes are disgusted by other people with acne, as if it isn't difficult and ridiculous as it is.

Would you be in relationship with person who has moderate, severe acne?

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Many people here have expressed these same concerns - and while I agree that most acne sufferers are naturually going to be more understanding of our own acne problems, there are clear people out there whom, if they can't empathize, do sympathize. My husband is clear, and yet despite not having acne, he understands why I feel the way I do about mine.

I don't believe that acne should be any final piece in a relationship, but I do agree that those of us going through it need to find someone who will be paitent and understand with us about our own acne struggles.

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ive been avoiding relationships because my acne has been so bad lately. my skin was pretty broke out last year when i started dating someone... he saw me with and WITHOUT makeup. you eventually get to a point where you are comfortable enough that you dont have to wear makeup in front of them all the time. he could ovbiously see that i have a problem with my skin... but he never said anything. and i never expressed how much pain it has put me through. it was just never something we talked about. but i know what you mean... it is definitely a tough situation

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Nononono.

Most people I've met completely ignore it. I've had acne scars and bad breakouts plenty and still bring the boys to the yard. Acne is very irrelevant to most people. It's weird seeing so many self-conscious acne sufferers just on these boards yet I see so many people irl with it and they seem very confident and beautiful.

I don't think you should specifically search someone out with acne for a relationship lol. I mean unless it just makes you feel more comfortable, but I honestly do not think the other person would really care unless they were a stuck up douche bag who only cared about some dots on your face, I mean seriously, we all have flaws.

How come you think it's a bigger deal for girls in their appearance and not guys? I don't think so at all. There are an equal number of guys here and I'm sure they would beg to differ on how it makes them feel.

Do you get bad stares or made fun of? If that's the case, then it's the people you're hanging around and you need to get away from them. From my experience, people don't even care. Especially men, actually, because girls are always prettier and have other distracting features hehe...and let's not forget make-up!

And dj, lol, your ex was probably quite serious about your acne :lol: I'm sure it wasn't a big deal! And you guys didn't get along for other reasons. ;)

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I feel like whether a guy had acne or not would not be a determining factor for me...but whether or not he could understand. Like Elsewhere said, if not because he had acne himself, because he cared for me and understood it was a concern.

Honestly, everyone has SOMETHING they are self-conscious about. The key is to love them anyways, and support them regardless. =)

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hey there, without being egotistical, i consider myself to be a good looking guy, merely by looking around and seeing girls stare at me or intel (girl's friends telling me that htier friend fancies me)...anyway i would totally be in a relationship with a girl who may have acne, whatever the severity, in fact there is a girl in my class who has severe acne that i really fancy, i just might ask her out.

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I definitely tend to blame my fear of relationships and lack of relationships on my acne. Even when my skin is mostly clear, I still feel like I'm not good enough for anybody. If I can't love myself despite the acne, how could anyone else?

I'd love to lie and say that I'm working on this, but I'm totally not. In my last relationship, I got hurt badly and I completely blame my skin for that relationship's failure. I know that it really had nothing to with that (or at least I hope it had nothing to do with that), but it's a good excuse to not get into any other relationships where I could get hurt like that again.

Who needs romantic relationships anyway? Either you get hurt or you settle for less than you want. Everyone's better off just fending for themselves.

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I know I'm a bloke and you say that it's different, but not necessarily. I had acne for a year before my first serious relationship, and obviously ever since. Up until recently, I have always been in a relationship with one girl or another (not at the same time!) - the last relationship was 6 years long, and I can say without bias or boast, that this girl was extremely beautiful and funny and blah blah. . . you know, the person with flawless skin, the pin up girl with personality. I met her when I had the worst of my acne problems, when my face was bad and my back was worse - but she didn't care. It was never an issue.

There are obviously concerns when you have acne, to do with your confidence or the way you appeal to the opposite (or same) sex. The thing is though, if you find the right person, it doesn't matter. If they find it a problem, they're obviously not the right one for you. I get really down about my skin, but this was never a problem - I never had to explain it, this girl just genuinely got it, without judgement. And she was 'perfect' in every way, looks and personality.

I don't mean any of this in a patronising way, I know about your concerns. I had them too, and was always filled with anxiety - especially the first time the shirt was off and the nasty bacne was to be exposed. In fact, since I've been single these worries are creeping back in - but all I have to think now is that it didn't matter to these girls, so why does it matter to me now?

What I'm trying to say in a rambling, roundabout way, is that it acne doesn't matter in meeting the right person or keeping hold of them, providing they're the right person. If they're not the right person, then why would you go out with them in the first place? Hope this helps at least the teeniest bit.

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I would date a guy with acne and probably feel more in a comfort zone than I would with a guy without acne. But I definitely agree with Elsewhere, because someone with clear skin who would be supportive and lend a shoulder to cry on when one of those "bad days" occur could be the perfect guy. Personality and empathy plays a huge role.

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I definitely tend to blame my fear of relationships and lack of relationships on my acne. Even when my skin is mostly clear, I still feel like I'm not good enough for anybody. If I can't love myself despite the acne, how could anyone else?

I'd love to lie and say that I'm working on this, but I'm totally not. In my last relationship, I got hurt badly and I completely blame my skin for that relationship's failure. I know that it really had nothing to with that (or at least I hope it had nothing to do with that), but it's a good excuse to not get into any other relationships where I could get hurt like that again.

Who needs romantic relationships anyway? Either you get hurt or you settle for less than you want. Everyone's better off just fending for themselves.

gosh. i feel the same as you. i dont even love myself anymore because of my acne. i do find myself goodlooking, but i'm all disfigured because of my acne. if i cant even accept my rotten face, how can i ever find someone to love me?

i dont know if i will date someone with severe acne, but i know for sure that i wont date someone with a clear, smooth, and totally flawless face. the pressure is too great.

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